I Can Tell It Is Monday

Monday is such a busy day in my household.  There is the normal laundry, bill paying, and residual house work that didn't get finished over the weekend ie: laundry, more laundry and where the heck did that piece of laundry come from!

Today it is a bit different.  Besides laundry I have a bunch of calls to make to doctor offices.  Now that I have a clear month where I know I'll have the car to my access I'm trying to schedule as many of my doctor appointments as possible for that time.

I called Neurology for the follow up.  Glad I did as they forgot to put into the system last Autumn the request for EMG and MRI they wanted to do on me during the second trimester.

I called OB to schedule the Nucal scan.  Turns out they forgot about it too.

I also called OB to find out my sugar scores.  94 fasting, 175 first hour, 146 second hour, and 100 third hour.  I guess it looked good because no one bothered to call me.

Now I just need to find out the date of the Nucal Scan when I pick up the form on Wednesday.  Next I can schedule the EMG and MRI and finally I can schedule Bugsy's teeth cleaning.  I was going to have his teeth cleaned this month but it takes two people to get him into his cage for transport.

Oh and I gained back in bloat 0.6 pounds from eating pizza yesterday.  I paid for it when the puke started to come out my nose.  I swear there is nothing I can eat without it coming back, not even a veggie pizza.

Breakfast this morning was 4 egg whites with 3 tbsp of grated mozzarella cheese and freshly ground pepper and salt.  So far 40 minutes later it is still staying down.  We'll see if it makes it for the full hour.

Finally I Get An Appointment

At 1400 hrs today I'll finally get in to see a doctor.  Or I hope its a doctor that I'll be seeing at my clinic.  It could very well be a physicians assistant or nurse practitioner.  Our clinic doesn't have that many doctors on staff as its too costly to have them there and it would mean that we would receive the best medical care available and we can't be having that now can we.

As I'm typing this my vision is a little messed up.  Its as though the screen is farther away than it should be.  Just another wonderful symptom is my guess.

Last night the sinus headache enveloped the whole left side of my head.  I just want this looked at and some medicine thrown at it before the next IVF is in full swing.

I called my REI nurse and she assured me that if I'm put on antibiotics it won't affect the drugs I'll be taking for IVF.  I was wondering about that since antibiotics affect birth control effectiveness I figured it was sane to ask her for advise on the matter.

So with any luck I'll get something to fix the congestion, I'm no longer producing green with the use of my neti pot, now its just blood I'm so congested.  I need something for the pain in the head too.  Something stronger than tylenol though I doubt they'll give me anything stronger.  Breathing is becoming complicated.  I can eat or breathe but not both.  Taking a deep breath is painful so I'm sticking with shallower breathing for now.  My lips and fingernails have been staying a lavender color, I'm guessing its because my oxygen supply isn't the best.

Remember though, my guesses don't count as I'm not a doctor and they will know better than me.  But my guess is that the sinus congestion is now moved towards my lungs and might be giving me a touch of bronchitis. 

Wish me luck on getting the proper treatment.

30 Days

As the sun rose over Mount Rainier this morning I came to a decision.  I'm going to give myself a much needed vacation from the mundane.  For the next thirty days I'll be doing more to make myself happy.  Truly I am the only one that can make myself happy.

I decided upon starting with something quite simple.  I would start with cleaning up and out my facebook.  No more of those time wasting games.  Those are gone.  Next I'll be cleaning out my friends list.  Really am I truly friends with all those people on my friends list?  I think not.  I'd say at least thirty were just added for games I used to play.  One a day will disappear unless I can prove to myself that they are worthy of my precious time.  I'm not looking at my time as though I am above all others.  I'm looking at my free time as something precious to be enjoyed with good friends, laughter and hopefully no drama.

For the next thirty days I'm going to try to release the stress I've built up from trying to conceive.  I'll be still trying this cycle but I'll be doing less of the grunt work around the house and taking better care of me.  After all if I am to become a sacred vessel I need to make sure that vessel has no cracks.

I was almost sure I was pregnant this month up until Thursday when all the symptoms just disappeared.  This might be a bit too much information for some as I mention the symptoms.  My breasts were engorged and blue veined, I could feel the slight painfulness of my uterus stretching with the diagnosed round ligament pain which was sharp at first.  I had the dizziness, nausea, blurred vision, lower back pain and of all things I was drooling.  Yes all the signs pointed to a good implantation.  Thursday arrived and I just did too much around the house and the symptoms stopped.  Everything I had hoped for came to a hault.  Something I did made the egg disengage.  I was told that at my age this could happen and for no obvious reasons.  I guess the only hope I had out of this was that for just a little bit of time it did work and that this coming cycle, if I'm really careful, I'll get it to stick and grow.

So starting today for the next thirty days if friends get ignored, the phone goes unanswered, if I don't want to deal with others problems and drama there is a darn good reason, I'm my number one priority.  I have to take care of me and my needs.

Next week I'll be scheduling another IUI.  After the IUI I won't be lifting a finger to do housework.  My husband now has this clear in his head that I have to follow the doctor's orders and be treated like I'm pregnant.  I will be a high risk pregnancy being that I'm forty-one years of age and have high blood pressure.  I can't be doing all the stuff that I could have at twenty-one or even thirty-one.  I have two chance, two cycles to get this right.  I want to get it right.

So to my friends and family, if you are reading this have some compassion. Be there for me without question, help me out when you can because you know I would do the same for you and for many I have done the same.  I'm not asking you to do my housework, I have a respite care worker that could help with those things.  What I am asking for is time.  Treat me like the sick friend that you don't want to startle or upset because it could make the condition worse.  I think I'm worth thirty days, don't you?

Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Fibromyalgia

Well I'm exhausted.  I think the only reason I'm now getting out of bed is to write the daily blog.  Unfortunately my viewings have gone down to just one daily for the past two days.  Maybe I should just throw in the towel on my blog too and stay in bed.  No self pity here is there?

I've been dealing with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Fibromyalgia for about fifteen years now, or at least I was diagnosed fifteen years ago.  I want it all to just go away.  Yes, I realize there is no cure, there are only prescriptions that rarely work for me.  Right now with also trying to conceive a child I can't take the fibromyalgia medicines.

Being a research junkie, when I'm alert enough, I've been researching Fibromyalgia and Pregnancy.  I've read some testimonials of women who have the disease and how they've survived their pregnancy.  Its not going to be easy but I just keep telling myself that the reward of having a child will be worth all the discomfort I'll have to go through for forty weeks.  Its not like I can just read about a normal pregnancy on whattoexpect.com and say okay I can do this or this or that and I'll be just fine. 

What I needed before trying to conceive was a good network of doctors of which I obviously do not have.  Tricare does what it can but it is so overloaded now with special needs children, wounded warriors, and veterans that getting to see a specialist is extremely hard.  I've been at this particular installation for two years.  I've had my EFMP assessment and been told that I need to see specialists but when I broach the subject with my PA or PCM I get told that I don't need to see them.  Okay so how am I to get better?  I realize there is no getting better but there is a way to help lesson a few of the symptoms.  Hey doc how about prescribing me physical therapy, massage and acupuncture since I'm not able to take the drugs you'd like to prescribe to me?

I've also been researching the effects of hypertension on pregnancy.  I'll be going into a pregnancy with high blood pressure.  I take my medicine two times a day but my blood pressure is still hovering around the 140/86 mark.  I'll probably end up on bed rest at some point in the pregnancy, if I can get pregnant at all with high blood pressure.  I'll be high risk for Preeclampsia or so I've been warned by the OB/GYN.  I've been gathering up projects that I can do in bed to keep my mind occupied when I'm actually awake.  I'm prepared mentally now if only my body would agree.

I'm rather disappointed in myself today.  I caved-in this morning and took a home pregnancy test.  I'm supposed to wait until Thursday and get tested at Madigan Army Community Hospital.  I also didn't use the first morning urine.  I'm barely awake when I shuffle off to the bathroom every few hours.  Oh yes having fibromyalgia means I pee a lot more than most folks even when I cut back on my water.  So the test showed negative.  I've been thinking its just PMS symptoms.  Clomid makes my PMS worse.

I informed my husband of my failure to produce a child yet again.  Sure there is still hope that I might indeed be pregnant but its slim.  If my blood pressure stays high its not going to happen.  My high blood pressure is not weight related as I weighed more in my twenties than I do now and I found old records showing my blood pressure was 101/58 when I was 29!  I hit mid thirties and my blood pressure decided to follow my genetics and go high.  I miss the days of being able to eat anything salty I wanted.  But now I can't eat salty foods.  Now I have to show my body more respect so that I can grow a child.  Maybe next cycle I'll be able to conceive the much wanted and already loved child.

Date Night; French Food

Tonight my husband asked me out on a date.  I was still all dressed up from the doctor's appointment I had early this morning.  Why not?  I looked good today.  I felt even better too.

We couldn't decide on what we wanted to eat before we left the house so I turned on our portable navigation system and hit French for food choices.  I've learned to make some very tasty French dishes this year and my husband has enjoyed eating them.

The nearest French restaurant to our military installation was La Creme Brulee. 
http://www.lacremebrulee.com/

Wonderful food.  For starters we both had the  Soupe A L'Oignon.  Its actually French Onion Soup for those who aren't familiar with the French language.

My entree' was the Pasta Rigate with Shrimps, Spinach and Clams served with a Creamy Garlic Sauce and side salad.  Large portions.  I ended up taking half my bowl home with me.

My husband had the Traditional Boeuf Bourgignon with Carrots, side salad and Pomme Frites which are french fries.

The service is excellent and so is the atmosphere.  I do recommend reservations.  We didn't have one but were lucky enough to get a table, not an easy feat on a Friday night.

They took an old bar and turned it into a server station which made the place quite unique.  French music was piped in through the sound system with a slide show of places in Europe, not just France.

"French born and Parisian schooled Chef Bertrand, an authentic award-winning Parisian chef, has worked in world-class restaurants all over the world.  From fine restaurants in Paris, New York, Los Angeles and The Orient, Chef Bertrand now brings his unique blue ribbon expertise and delicious European cuisine, affordable choice wines and delectable desserts to our small corner of the world.
La Crème Brûlée (The Burnt Cream) French Bistro, located in the heart of Steilacoom’s historical district, opened its doors in the midst of a beautiful red-skyed sunset on a quiet warm-breezy late summer evening in September, 2005.  After viewing the breathtaking panorama of Puget Sound and the Olympic Mountains that only Steilacoom affords, Chef Bertrand fell in love with the little town and decided to open his restaurant on Lafayette Street.  He was so inspired by the beauty and majesty of the area that he knew his restaurant would have to be something very special, very eligant yet affordable and casual, something that Steilacoom had never seen before.   And he did just that!
Naming his romantically themed, Parisian-atmosphered restaurant after the world-famous French dessert “Crème Brûlée,” Chef Bertrand has become somewhat of a local mini-celebrity.  With people from all over the Puget Sound region stopping in to savor the newest additions to his collection of French wines, palate pleasing plates and delicious European desserts, Chef Bertrand couldn’t be happier.
“Come spend the evening with us and enjoy a night in Paris,” he says.  Through sight, sound, taste and ambiance, La Crème Brûlée French Bistro truly is the next best thing to being there!
- Staff"

I hope those of you that live around the Puget Sound get a chance to stop at La Creme Brulee to dine on their cuisine.  Give your spouses a nudge in their direction for your Date Night.