No Engery Today

Ready Player One drawing will be held on Monday, June 18th.  Don't forget to leave a comment on that particular blog page if you want to be entered in the contest to win a free copy of the book.  If you are the lucky winner I'll need your contact information within a day of the drawing so that I can notify the publisher where to send your copy of the book.

I have no ambition and no energy today.  I'm depressed.  Why?  Well I can't have a baby.  Every one around me seems to be giving birth.  Even the other day it was announced on fb that a couple gave birth and the picture was posted.  Their name was just one letter off from my last name and the soldier's rank was the same.  I guess it really gets to me because if IVF #1 had worked I'd be in the home stretch right now, not recovering from a laparoscopic surgery.

I'm still fat.  Since January and with this surgery, though I've lost about half of what I gained from the IV bag I'm still at +16 pounds for the year.  I hate my body and it hates me.

I was going to color my hair today but I'm tired.  I'm not sleeping well and the pain killers aren't working on the pain.  I take them only at bedtime now.  I'm actually a bit afraid of what they'll find when they do the ultrasound next week Thursday for the two week check up.  I don't hurt near the incisions but more in the uterus area and it feels like something was left hanging since it bobs a bit inside of me.  No clue what it could be and I'll just have to wait and see. The pain gets worse at night and of late has become bilateral.

J is upset at all the babies and bellies he is subjected to seeing.  Its getting to him.  He came home in a fowl mood last night from the commissary.  We discussed the "why".  As of today I have exactly enough to do the frozen donor eggs but I have to wait.  I'd like to try a few more rounds with my own while we do a "wait and see" if he'll be able to stay in the Army.  I told him last night that if we went through with the donor eggs right off what would happen if he couldn't stay in?  And the fact that if our kid needed medical for a disability we would no longer be covered.  Its rather scary but I'm being quite adult about this whole thing.  I'm scared that we won't have that money to fall back on and it just doesn't sit right with me.

Reading My Life Away

I started reading Cannery Row by John Steinbeck last night.  Being on sloth rest means that I'm quickly depleting my stores of books.  But that is okay too because it means two things: 1) I'm allowed to go buy more books and 2) I'm learning more as I read.

On the 6th of June I'll be hosting a book giveaway.  Don't forget to comment on that day's blog post for a chance to win the book I'll be giving away.

Yes, I'm still in a great deal of pain.  I'm trying to go without pain killers for as long as possible today.  I'll probably end up taking one soon as every little move I make sends pain through my pelvis and into my thighs.  I'm hoping for some good news tomorrow at the ultrasound.

The Daily Giveaway

For those of you that like to enter contests, and I know I'm one of them, I have a website for you.  Every day they giveaway merchandise.  There is no catch.  You don't have to sign up for the subscription.  You don't have to get spammed if you chose not to.

To enter the Giveaway click here: https://martha.zt01.net/MSL/1/Giveaway/landing_cal/calender.php  Oh, yes this is a Martha Stewart website.  Every month she has a different place giving away great merchandise.  This month www.organize.com is the one sponsoring the giveaway.  Last month it was Chefs and the month before a bath and body shop of sort, the month before that was was Kitchen Aide.

Honestly I didn't mean to keep this website to myself, I just didn't think it would last past the month of December.  I love knowing that I'm wrong.

Today's giveaway is a black brocade office collection valued at $72.00 USD.  Take a chance and enter the giveaway.

The official rules can be viewed here: https://martha.zt01.net/MSL/1/Giveaway/landing_cal/rules.htm

Good luck to all my readers.