time for another Why I'm Grateful post

Recently a reader said I wasn't being grateful for my daughter with the post about me being in tears.

I didn't complain about my daughter.  I complained about my brother.  I complained about my health.  I complained about having to try to fit court dates into an already busy schedule.

So now I'll list what I am grateful for.  Oh and if you were one of those secretly saying that I'm whining ....go stick it.

Why I'm Grateful:

1. I got to make peace with my father before he died.
2. I had a baby last year of whom I cannot dote on enough, praise enough, and tell the world enough about.  However, I won't brag about her here daily as I don't want to be one of those women that was infertile and has her baby and forgets the struggle of all the rest of those out there still wanting a baby.
3. I lived after giving birth.  It was a close call.  If it hadn't of been for my husband yelling for the doctors and their quick action to resuscitate me I wouldn't be here today.
4. I have a wonderful husband.  Yes, he gets on my nerves before he has a mission but I've noticed that most soldiers start acting differently before they have to go away too.  It is just part of being a military family.
5. I have a great cat.  He is the best cat around.  Truly a Nanny Cat.
6. I have my friends.  My true friends that are there for me when I need them.  I include my husband in this because he is there for me when I have the nightmares and sleep walking and PTSD issues.
7. I have my family.  No I'm not including my mom, brother or in-laws.  As my husband said to me this past Christmas, "my family is in this room" with his meaning me, E, and Bugsy.  I have to agree we are a family and a damn nice one too.
8. I have love.
9. I don't want for much because I keep my needs and wants simple.  I'm grateful for that because I've been able to save up enough to pay for the out of pocket expenses with savings and not credit (except to earn the cash back and pay if off immediately) every time I did an infertility treatment.  Learning to live with less has really changed me and I'm grateful for that experience.
10. I have the love of my God.  God has been fair with me and shown me my path.  Enough said.

Symptoms Still Here

I have much to be thankful for this year.  Many of you know I'm pregnant, I'm thankful for the chance to have a baby.  I'm thankful for my family and friends too.

But I'm having a bit of fibro fog so I'm not going to list out everything I'm thankful for and possibly forget someone causing insult.

Last night some of my pregnancy symptoms really hurt me.  But I'm just glad to know that the embryo/s are still in there.  I have an ultrasound set for Tuesday with a third beta.  Hoping all will be well.  I know it is really too soon to see much when it comes to the ultrasound. Just hoping for a sac or two to be in place.

Thankful

Of late I've noticed that I'm far from alone with all the stress of trying to conceive.  It is like it has hit our community with the force of an epidemic.

Maybe we can find a way to blog less about our stress and blog more about what we are thankful for.

So I'm going to make this post more about what I am thankful for rather than thinking about the stress of my tests.  Oh I have the right to be stressed out.  But I'm sure my followers know why. 

• Even though I have Endometriosis Stage III I am thankful for the fact that I do have my really caring doctor back again at the clinic.
• Even though I have some issues to be stressed over when it comes to my right breast I am thankful that I can get the necessary screening for early detection.  Many women can't afford the test.
• Even though I am in pain daily I can call my network of providers for support.  It might take me a while to get an appointment but I'm not dying.
• I'm fat but in some cases that isn't so bad.  Being fat does have an advantage that if they have to yank out my ovaries I probably won't need estrogen replacement therapy.
• I'm middle aged but that too has an advantage.  I'm no longer in my 20's and 30's worrying about what might happen to me in those decades, like an unexpected pregnancy.  I'm now at that age that I have to plan with very few surprises.  No I am not talking about the infertile community that has to plan at every age for children.
• Acne for the most part is a thing of the past.  The only time my face breaks out now is if my hands are on my face too much or I'm on hormones that can cause breakouts.
• I am finally comfortable with myself.  I know who I am and where I want to be in life.  I'm not worried about what other people think about me as much as I was a decade or two ago.
• I've traveled a lot and lived abroad.  
• I've worked overseas and not just vacationed there.
• Most importantly, when the world seems to have tossed me to the side and even my spouse and I don't see an equal ground, I know that God still loves me and will listen to me.  I just have to be willing to listen for the answer to the problems I am facing that seem so insurmountable.