3dp5dt

Yesterday throughout the day I had mild cramping.  Last night I had some watery pinkish/tan spotting.  Hoping this is a good sign as today is now 3 days past my 5 day transfer.

I was going to post a photo of the embryos but have decided not to do that.  I'm afraid of triggering other bloggers.  As it is I seem to have lost two followers in less than a month.

I'm keeping quiet about this to my immediate family.  Some of my cousins do know what is going on and I know they'll be kind enough to not tell the rest of the family until J and I are ready to do so ourselves.  We are hoping that our embryos will become babies and that we will finally have some good news to announce after all the years that we have been trying to expand our family.  The only success we've had in expanding our family is with the adoption of our cat Bugsy.

Bugsy seems to know that something is going on.  He follows me from room-to-room.  He waits patiently for me to finish my ablutions in the bathroom.  He curls up on my chest as often as possible.  The morning after the transfer he walked up to me and put his front paws on my ribs and sniffed at my pelvis.  He has never done that before and I found it rather odd as in "do I smell that bad in the morning cat?".

Yesterday I baked five dozen cookies for the soldiers at the COF where my spouse works. While baking the cookies my neighbor TM, who is a good friend and pregnant, came over to help put the puzzle together that I'm currently working on.  She happened to mention the microwave.  Because of that little discussion I looked up more on the microwave usage during pregnancy.  My microwave, thanks J for leaning on the door to chat to people, is leaking radiation.  I can easily pull a paper towel out of the door from three sides.

When J got home I showed him that bit with the microwave and told him not to use it when I'm in the room.  I told him to keep it unplugged when not in use too.  I have lost count of how many times I have asked him to not lean on the microwave door.  He now realizes the damage he has done to it when I wiggled the door up and down while it was in the closed position.

J will also, due to EMF waves, being doing all the vacuuming.  He is not to vacuum in the same room I am in either.  He is okay with these changes.  Amazing how guilty he feels for damaging the microwave and giving me morning PIO shots.  I'd rather he didn't feel so guilty but it is rather nice to have him more willing to help out around the house.

Last night our sleep did get interrupted by a call from one of his soldiers at 0034 hrs.  Oh the joys of being an NCO.

The Cartographer of No Man's Land

As many of you already know I am a military spouse.  It isn't a bad thing.  Though I am sure many wouldn't want to do what I do.  So what is it that I do?

I supported my spouse in his decisions to be in the Army.  This type of support is necessary if he wants to excel in his career path.  I'm sure many civilian wives do the very same thing.

When my husband has to go away for war I have to support him still even if I don't like the separations and what they can do to our relationship.  Actually I have to increase my support to him to ensure that our relationship survives.  Many a civilian wife has said to me that when their spouse goes away on a business trip they understand what I feel.  Well in some ways I guess they do, however I doubt that their spouse is possibly getting shot at, having to use outdoor plumbing to relieve himself, or dealing with sub par living conditions when they their spouses are in fact at some posh convention center or other nice accommodations while on that business trip.

I'm not being spiteful or angry when I mention what my spouse has to go through above.  I'm proud of his sacrifices.  He did in fact volunteer to join the Army.  No one told him he had to join.  He knew, and so did I, what it would mean and how it would change our lives forever when he signed up.  I married a civilian. But just as we all must grow into our life roles and accept changes I am no longer a wife to a civilian, I am an Army wife.

Supporting my spouse doesn't come automatically when he signs up.  There is no boot camp for spouses or survival training for deployments.  There have been times that I threatened to divorce him if he had to leave one more time in such a short period of time.  I'm allowed to whine, complain, and even at times cajole but it isn't for long that I can do this as it isn't going to help the situation that we have to face together.  Being the spouse of a solider means I need to put my big girl panties on and suck it up as much as possible.  His job is war.

When I state that my husband's job is war it isn't quite true.  Basic training teaches them the basics of war fighting.  The next school they go to is where they learn their military occupational specialty.  Funny enough my husband is a cartographer in the Army but he has a different longer title that most just gawk at when I tell them.  Cartographer fits well for what he does.  But he doesn't always get to do his job.  He is put where they need him.

This post was inspired by The Cartographer of No Man’s Land by P.S. Duffy. Angus enlists in the Nova Scotia WWI regiment and travels Europe to search for his missing in action best friend and brother-in-law. Along the way Angus discovers more than he ever wanted to know.Join From Left to Write on November 14 as we discuss The Cartographer of No Man’s Land.  As a member, I received a copy of the book for review purposes.

Transfer Day is Finally Here

In just a few hours I'll be headed up to Seattle for the embryo transfer.  Hoping all goes well.

I will let all of you know more in a day or two.  Maybe I'll share the picture too.  Wish me luck and keep me in your prayers.

The Last Winter of Dani Lancing

As a child I was afraid of ghosts.  Ghosts were the ones that came out from the shadow and frightened you.  Ghosts were malicious phantasms that knocked things off shelves, made your homework disappear, and were nicknamed "not me" by most children when parents would ask who did the dirty deed.

As an adult I view ghosts differently.  Now they are the restless spirits of the dead that have refused to leave the Earth for the other realm.  Really not all that different from my view of them as a child as they still frighten me with their antics.  Or I could blame my brother and his knife slashing antics he developed from watching too many scary movies for the same effect of fearing shadows thinking it was just him out to get me or a ghost quite possibly; I'll let you choose.

During Samhain the veil between the worlds is at its thinnest as it is only one other time, that being Beltane.  Samhain is also known as Halloween.  Beltane is a lesser feast time also called May Day which is celebrated on May first.  Usually drunken debauchery went on during the celebrating of May Day and many a babe was born nine months later of which was blamed on the spirits.  Just which spirits though I'm thinking were most likely the ones that were imbibed not the kind of spirit that possesses.

On and around those two times of the year ghosts can be seen easier without dabbling with divination or working with a medium.  It is possible while looking into a  mirror you might see a phantom.  However, when you turn around to actually look at the view behind you there is nothing there.   Get your vision checked because if you are seeing black floaters in your sight line you might have a serious issue.

Most often the "cold spots" are felt in older homes.  These as lore would have it, represent the ghost being there but unable to be seen.  I have felt a few cold spots in my parents' house in upstate NY.  They loved to tell me it was haunted too.  As I got older I realized those cold spots were because the flooring was over a cold cement slab, we had poor heating with an old furnace and the windows weren't properly sealed.  Ghost de-bunked.  I'd suggest wearing thick woolen socks, flannel lined pants and finger-less mittens if you ever were to go into that house.  Most likely the new owners have realized the furnace is an issue and put in a new one by now.

This post was inspired by The Last Winter of Dani Lancing, a novel by P.D. Viner. Twenty years ago, college student Dani was murdered but her killer was never found.  Now a promising new lead may change everything. Join From Left to Write on November 7 as we discuss The Last Winter of Dani Lancing.  As a member, I received a copy of the book for review purposes.

Cold

Ugh, just what I needed, a head cold.  Yesterday I broke down and took cold medicine.  Today I'm going to go without.  Nothing really works on a cold but rest and fluids.  Cold medicines just mask the symptoms and as soon as the medicine wears off the cold is right there again.

Today was the E2 blood draw and lining check.  When I got to the lab I grabbed a face mask and wore it until I left the hospital.  I swear I had a large radius of empty chairs around me at the lab.  No one but my husband would sit near me.  I should wear a mask more often!!!

I'll find out what the E2 levels are later today when I get the time and date for the transfer.  We will be hopefully transferring on Monday since J has the day off.  If not then Tuesday and he'll have to ask for the day off and hope that his chain of command is still good with giving him the time they promised him.

Lining is 13 mm.  Perfect according to Dr. Chow.  The mass is still in residence behind the left ovary.  Not shrinking, not growing.  Seems that this ultrasound has shown it to almost definitely be scar tissue from the surgery last year.  Great just what I needed a 4.7 cm mass of scar tissue.  The only fix is more surgery and of course then I risk getting even more scar tissue.  No thanks!

I'm actually looking forward to starting the PIO shots.  I told J that he has to do them each morning.  He grimaced at that but he has given them to me before.  He did the PIO shots with the firt IVF.  We did endometrin with the second IVF and I did the PIO shots myself with the first DE IVF.

Some times it really astounds me that I've now done four IVFs.  Crazy to think about.  Maybe I'm a bit of a masochist? Or maybe I really think I have a shot (get it) at making a baby each time?  I'm remaining hopeful as this cycle seems to be going differently than the last three and has the same protocol as the last one.  Maybe the synthroid is really helping?

Neurological Consult

Yesterday I went to the ENT at Madigan where I had my examination for my Meniere's Disease and thyroid cyst check up.  Yes, I have cysts on my thyroid.  I've had them for years.  Again they were felt easily upon examination but the doctors, both of them, decided to wait for two more years to do that particular ultrasound.  Budget cuts are killing my medical coverage.

Dr. Bevins decided that I needed to get an MRI and go to see the neurologist to address the dizzy spells and the weakness in my upper limbs (mind you I was told I needed to see neurology 5 years ago when I first arrived here but they denied me for the consult).  Tuesday I'll be calling Tricare to set up an appointment.  With any luck I'll get to be seen on the installation and not have to find a ride to a clinic off post.  We live behind the hospital here because we wanted to live near where I'd be getting my medical care.  Little did we know that five years after moving in to our home on post I'd be farmed out for most of my care.

Bloated

I'm guessing that either the Lupron or the Alora patches are making me even more susceptible to bloating that usual.  I got on the scale this morning and found that I had gained another 0.8 pounds.  I gained that much yesterday too.  This now puts me back two weeks on my weight loss.

Today I'm headed out to see the ENT doctor at Madigan about my Meniere's Disease.  Hoping he/she can give me something to deal with the ringing in my ears and dizzy spells.  That started before the recent addition of hormones.  Maybe I'll be allowed to go back on the maxide too with any luck.