My WTF Appointment

0920 hrs I was seen at my REI clinic at Madigan with my spouse.  We sat down with Dr. C. to discuss what went wrong with the last IVF cycle.  J was really tired from his CQ duty last night so I wonder just how much he comprehended from the meeting.

Dr. C. explained everything to us but I still don't know the reason why it failed.

On day 3 we had a 8 cell, 0 fragment, Good quality egg, Perfect embryo.  The abbreviations and number were explained to us from the chart.  So if it was a perfect embryo why did it chose to not stick around?  I know I was pregnant because of the two home pregnancy tests.  I told Dr.C. at this appointment that I took them.  I guess it changed the picture a bit.

Now the focus is on the fact that my eggs are my age and not so much what could possibly be wrong with me but with the eggs themselves.  If we used donor eggs he said we'd have a 65% success rate.  I have only 40% with my own eggs.  But it was perfect I'm yelling in my head.  I must have done something wrong.

I asked about the hypertension issue since I'm always on medications.  Its not that.  I asked about being put on restricted weight limit for lifting  he said even if I moved furniture it wouldn't be the problem.

So why?

He said it could look perfect at day 3 but there are sometimes issues with implantation, yes even with the Assisted Hatching we had done on the embryo.

I then asked if it was the endometriosis. He said that could be a factor but that most likely it was still with the age of my egg.  Dr. C. said one of the larger follicles he drained in his egg quest was filled with blood so he knows that I have issues with endometriosis.

To be quite franks he was genuinely surprised to get the 8 cell with zero fragmentation and a perfect embryo considering I'm 42.  He said its rare.  So we still don't know the exact reason why it didn't chose to stick around.

Looks like I'll be doing a late January embryo transfer if all goes well.  If I don't have enough follicles we'll commute to an IUI and hope for the best.

J's morphology issue is no longer an issue and that is good to know.  Now if only his sperm will stay that good for the next round.  We are still going with the ICSI for the January IVF.  We have to.  Dr.C. says it will again increase our odds of a better embryo.

This time I hope we get four follicles for retrieval day, we had four the first day but Dr.C. wanted to wait leaving it at only 2 follicles left by retrieval day.  Dr.C. just didn't want us to do too early of an egg retrieval.  But now that he knows my ovary reserve is declining we might end up doing an early retrieval in January.

I'm also hoping for two perfect embryos to transfer this time around.  I can hope right?

I can also hope that I'm pregnant now, right?  I mean I am in the two week wait right now after ovulating on my own.  But yes, I know that at my age its rare.  My maternal grandmother had my mom at 42 so there is always a chance. 

IVF And Army Complications

Well it seems as though that when it rains it pours.  Creating life is now a bit more difficult for J and I.

Here I thought I was the only one with the fertility issues, but now it seems that the morphology of his sperm is now borderline.  When did that happen?

So we are now adding into our procedure ICSI, Intracytoplasmic Sperm Injection, and the AH, Assisted Hatching.  This is going to up our cost of the IVF another $1400-1800.

Now for the biggest problem.  Getting the chance to keep my spouse home for the IVF and pregnancy, God I hope there is a pregnancy.

My doctors aren't being that cooperative.  I've now asked two of the folks at my REI to write a letter stating that in the event of pregnancy that they would recommend that my husband be allowed to stay on rear-D until the risk of loss is removed.  They won't do it.  Its not like we are asking him to stay home for the entire deployment.  Nor are we asking his brigade to go understaffed either.  We've explained to my doctors that they are currently overstaffed for my husband's slot and he would like to be considered for one of the rear-D slots that are open.

But no, REI can't help.  Now I have a referral to MFM, maternity fetal medicine.  I need to be evaluated for my high risk any way and maybe they could write a letter with a recommendation.  I hope.

I have to go over to see a mental health doctor too.  No I'm not crazy but I'm just getting myself prepared to deal with this deployment, a possible pregnancy, possible miscarriage, possible realizing that my fertile years are totally gone.  I need someone to talk to about the hormone roller coaster that will understand what I'm going through.  Maybe she will be able to write some sort of recommendation.

Next I have to see my cardiologist.  I'm far behind on those appointments.  I've missed two this year.  Maybe Dr.K. will be able to write something about my risk factor.

I still have to go see my PCM, primary care medicine, for a prescription renewal of my high blood pressure and asthma medicines.  Maybe Dr.G. will be able to write a recommendation.

I have my doubts.  I'm certainly not going to ask my optometrist to write a note.  I'm not blind yet even though my optic nerves are calcifying.  Yes, eventually I will go blind.

I just want one of my doctors to write a blasted note that the commander needs before he makes out the list of who he is planning on sending out for this deployment.  I'd like my husband to be left here.  We've made so many sacrifices already.  For three years we've had to put off trying to conceive because of training, hardship tour, deployment.  Now I'm just asking for this IVF cycle and pregnancy time if there is a pregnancy.  I'm not greedy.  I'd rather not bleed to death on the floor due to a miscarriage because no one is there to help me.

I'm all set otherwise.  I'll cope just like I always do.  I have my two grocery bags of hormone injections all stored away like they should be.  I have my huge plastic bag of needles and syringes next to the shelf stable medicines.  I'm good to go.  I know when and how to inject the medicines.  But yesterday we were told in the seminar that I'm not to give myself the daily progesterone injection but that my spouse has to give it to me.  So how the bloody hell am I to get that particular injection if he is deployed?

Who is going to write that letter?