Chronic Fatigue Syndrome

I guess there has been a bit of confusion with my posting yesterday.  I'm not depressed though to some it might sound like it.  Thank you to all of my friends that expressed their concern.  I often forget that I have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome until another bout of it hits me.  I was diagnosed so many years ago with CFS, I think about the same time I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia.  I did get tested about 5 years ago and sure enough I tested positive for having had in the past the Epstein-barr virus, which in my case was the trigger for the CFS.

Here is a bit of information about the CFS.

Symptoms

Symptoms of CFS are similar to those of the flu and other common viral infections, and include muscle aches, headache, and extreme fatigue. However, symptoms of CFS last for 6 months or more.
The main symptom of CFS is extreme tiredness (fatigue), which is:

• New
• Lasts at least 6 months
• Not relieved by bed rest
• Severe enough to keep you from participating in certain activities

Other symptoms include:

• Feeling extremely tired for more than 24 hours after exercise that would normally be considered easy
• Feeling unrefreshed after sleeping for a proper amount of time
• Forgetfulness
• Concentration problems
• Confusion
• Joint pain but no swelling or redness
• Headaches that differ from those you have had in the past
• Irritability
• Mild fever (101 degrees F or less)
• Muscle aches (myalgias)
• Muscle weakness, all over or multiple locations, not explained by any known disorder
• Sore throat
• Sore lymph nodes in the neck or under the arms
  
  
  Yes under the complications section depression is listed, but right now I'm not depressed. As a matter of fact I have some hope thanks to reading JOB the other day.  Okay that and the fact that tomorrow is my follicle scan.  I'll let everyone know how that went on Thursday's blog.  Tomorrow's blog post will be about the latest book I read for my book club.
  
  I'm just really tired.  No matter how much sleep I get at night I'm just exhausted because its not a restful sleep.  I'm cranky from being on the clomid and not sleeping well.  My body just aches and the stomach pain is not helping matters.  I've been miserable for months now.  So with any hope I'll feel better by the end of Summer.

Finding Some Hope In Job

I didn't go to church yesterday.  I slept until 1100 hrs.  I've been really tired.  I was up at various times throughout Saturday night into the wee hours of Sunday morning.  At 0500 hrs on Sunday morning I reached for my bible.  No I'm not a religious person.  I am more spiritual than anything.

Deciding to read a chapter from the book of Job really helped.  Job knows what its like to lose everything and still have faith.  Right now it feels like I'm losing everything.

In the past few months I've had heart ache from repeat miscarriages.

I've lost my health to the point that at times I think I should just give up and let them hospitalize me and run all those blasted tests.

I've lost my close connection to my spouse with these fertility treatments.

Now I have to begin to find my way back to a more normal life.  My faith may just be the only thing that gets me through the rough patches.

I'm just so tired.  I wish it were only depression.  Come 1400 hrs I'm yawning with fatigue.  Probably from trying to do way too much in one day.  I keep forgetting that my doctors have told me to take it easy on myself.  I keep trying to be just like any other healthy gal my age.  I don't like to think about my limitations.  I feel like a wuss if I stop and nap, or even rest.  My job is at home and taking care of that home.  If I can't take care of my home then am I of use?  I have worth, just not much use since my infertility had made being a mom next to impossible.  Most Army Wives my age have a brood of children, work from home or away from it, volunteer, and still find time to be close to their spouse.  I'm not sure how they do it.

So this is where I find myself today.  I have some hope when I read the book of Job.  If he can make it I think I just might be able to as well.