Saline Infusion Sonogram #3

Yesterday I had my third and hopefully final saline infusion sonogram.  My husband wasn't able to make the appointment so my friend KK was willing and able to come along.  I even had here in the exam room.  She's been through some of the worst with being an infertile herself.

The results of the blood work and SIS are as follows:

• Uterus looks great, there was some fluid still in it but I was still bleeding and some was the saline too
• 5 cm cyst on the left ovary
• TSH 3.19, they want to see 2.5 or below so we will re-test in a week with more in-depth testing
• Prolactin 10.39, below 25 is good so I'm normal
• HgA1c was 4.9 that was also normal

Now I just need to start birth control at the beginning of my next cycle and hope the cyst resolves or explodes of which I've had happen quite a few times with my cysts.  My nurse at PNW wants another suppression scan done before I start the Lupron to make sure the cyst has resolved.  I want it done too as I know darn well hormones don't always work to shrink my cysts, case in point last year when I ended up having surgery to remove them and found the endometriosis.

Soon I'll be set to go on this DE IVF (donor egg invitro fertilization)cycle, or rather a FET (frozen embryo transfer).  Hopefully today billing will get back to me so I can pay for this cycle.  I left a message letting them know I wanted to pay for the cycle in full.

Wish me luck and keep me in your prayers.

In a bit of unrelated good news.  J, my husband, gets promoted today!  I'll be attending his very wet promotion ceremony that they'll be holding outside.  Hey it is Washington State, wet is normal here.

The Process Starts Over

Today is the blood draw.  I'm going to get my levels checked for the TSH, HgA1c (sugar), prolactin, and HCG.  I need the HCG done for tomorrow's test.

Yes I'm having a SIS done again.  It has been over, just about 3 weeks over the 6 months allowable since the last uterine evaluation from hell.  This time a doctor familiar with my uterus, he did my IVFs, will be doing the procedure tomorrow.

I'm hoping that all is well down below.  I can only imagine the pain I'm going to be in tomorrow after the exam.  Having a anteverted uterus, endometriosis stage III, and adenomyosis makes for a really uncomfortable exam to begin with but when you purposely inject saline into the uterus it gets bad.

I'm excited about today.  I know I'm not pregnant after the last horrific period that last way too long and I'm still actually bleeding lightly from. I think 8 days of heavy bleeding is too much but I still went on vacation.

I'm nervous about the TSH and HgAlc test results.  I've had thyroid issues in the past and both my parents are diabetics.  Luckily every time I've been tested for sugar my levels are either low or normal.  I have a tendency to have hypoglycemia which can lead to diabetes later in later...figure that one out islets of langerhans!

Ultrasound Tomorrow

Tomorrow at 0630 hrs I have an ultrasound.  Or perhaps I could say a date with the dildocam?  Whatever way you wish to call it the transvaginal ultrasound is always uncomfortable for me, more so now with the ovarian cysts.

I'm hoping for a bit of good news tomorrow.  I keep hoping that the cysts will reduce in the process of resolving.  It didn't happen that way last week.  Last week I ended up the very next day after the transvaginal ultrasound in the ER.  The cyst on my right ovary, 9 cm had ruptured.

Tomorrow I'm going to don my tan and black cowgirl socks and put my feet in the stirrups again.  This time I'm hoping to win over this disease.   I want to keep trying to conceive but I know I'm running out of time.

The cancer blood work won't be back for another week.  I'm hoping like most folks do that it will be negative.  There is cancer in my family though it doesn't normally hit for another decade who is to say I'll be the exception.  If there was a choice I'd say please skip me.  One week more to wait on that test.  Hopefully I'll know the results of the other tests they did on me.  I was never told the results of the ones drawn in the ER.  Maybe my doctor will be able to look them up for me as well as the ones done last week Monday.

Yes, I'm full of hope.  I'm full of fear too.  I want reproduction to go smoothly.  I want to be one of those pregnant chics that has no complications but we don't always get what we want including getting pregnant and staying that way till a full term baby is handed to you after hours of labor.  No, some of us don't get the happy ending.  I want that happy ending and I'll keep trying until they tell us to give up.

Open Letter To My Friends

Dear Friends:

I thought I'd start this open letter to all of you with a thank you.  I appreciate the support that you have given to me since I started this blog.

Now even more I'm going to need that support.  The visit to my RE (reproductive endocrinologist) didn't end with the results that I had hoped for.  In fact the two ovarian cysts are now a mass.  My doctor couldn't define one ovary from the other nor could she tell which one had the mass alone as it looks like they have grown together.  The nurse commented that with the size of it she doesn't know how I can stand the pain.  I just do with nothing more than acetaminophen I have no choice, now do I?

The RE spoke with me after I got dressed.  My husband was with me in the room.  Again no sex.  Again no fertility drugs.  Again bad news.  She would put in the order for five blood tests.  She explained to me that they needed to do one test that would take two weeks to get the results back.  They were going to check for cancer.

The C word is always scary.  I've had cancer scares before.  Luckily I've been able to escape it thus far.  I'm not so sure this time. 

The first day of my next cycle I need to go back in for another ultrasound.  They found the first cyst on 29 March.  Its almost 6 weeks now and the first cyst has grown, another has formed  in early April. Now they've created a mass together.  In about two weeks I'll be at the point where if its still not resolved the RE is going to refer me to Oncology.

Friends, I need your support even more now.  I'm trying to not fall apart.  I'm hoping that I'll still have a chance to reproduce.  I want a child of my own genetics so very bad.  If I already had a child I think I might be a bit more resolved to the fact that I might lose one or both ovaries but still it would be an awful blow.

Believe it or not friends, other than my spouse knowing about this you are the first to know.  I'm almost afraid to tell my family.  My dad is not well and I don't think my parents could take the added stress.  When I had the heart attack I told my husband to not let my parents know about it.  I would tell them after I was out of the hospital.  It was just a mild heart attack with no damage.  Like I said my dad is not well and I don't want to involve them in this dilemma when it could turn out to be nothing.

So my friends, if you live close by I hope you understand that I'm going to be moody.  The next few weeks are going to be torture for me having to wait for the lab results.  I'm going to be more withdrawn and want to hide a bit behind my walls and read.  Reading relaxes me.

But for now my life goes on and its time to put another load of laundry in the machine.

Wishing all of you out there good health.

Rebecca