To Hell and Back Again

J will do another post to finish up his story but while I'm at his computer working through the pain since I totally forgot to take my motrin again I figured I'd do up a post.

 I'm home, alive and trying to recover but it was a long journey to get this far.  I'm so glad that J has been filling all of you in on what happened because for me personally it was one big blur.

Sunday night we went in for our induction day and scheduled time.  "Oh goody", I thought as they told me I was already 1 cm dilated on my own.  Maybe this won't take as long as I thought to bring our baby girl into the world.  Okay well yeah I should have known better from reading all the blogs over the years. Ladies you have prepared me for most of everything including the packing of depends undergarments for the after effects!  Thank you!

But I wasn't prepared to wake up to pee and find that I was leaking blood with a damn tampon shoved up inside of me.  I'm like "what the fuck!  did I fall asleep and miss it?".  Nope all was okay it was the cervidil or however it is spelled.  I had no clue that a tampon was its application and my doctor didn't bother to tell me either.  About twelve hours later they pulled the tampon out after a very uncomfortable readjustment by my doctor where he shoved it back up inside because my body was pushing it out.  The pictocin was then started with an 18 gauge iv line needle in my left ulnar side.  I have a huge lump from that needle but that is the least of the issues my body is now facing in recovery.

The pictocin didn't work, another tampon of cervidil and almost twelve hours later and I was still only about 2.5 cm dilated.  Dr. C. was due to end his shift and decided to break my water with the hope that in a few hours I would be delivering the baby.  Hahahaha!  Jokes on him in less than 42 minutes Eilonwy was here!

I still love how the anesthetist said it was never too late for an epidural.  I asked for one and they said no.  Crap.  I tore in three areas; urethra, labia, and perineum. I'm sure J has mentioned all this to you folks too.

Well lets see, after giving birth which wasn't all that bad I tried to sit up after the medical staff left the room.  Bad idea!  I remember telling Jason that everything was going black and that was it.  Over the next few days I managed to some how lose most of my blood volume, third space which happens when you lose too much blood and you body decides to hold onto all the fluids it can get and lose a uterus. Yup, they had to do a hysterectomy.

I mean I knew this was going to be the last pregnancy but geez I thought I could hold off on organ removal for about a year.  I still have the cervix and ovaries but we know that with endometriosis the ovaries are nothing but trouble.

The reason for the hysterectomy is the placenta accreta.  One would have thought that if my high risk OB in Savannah had actually done the study he said he was going to do but then promptly forgot to put it in my chart then they would have been better prepared for the birthing.  Why do what should be done when you only want to spend 5 minutes every three weeks with your patient!

So after gaining more than 16 staples in a vertical incision, 6 pints of blood (4 A+ and 2 O+), numerous bags of ancef (antibiotic), and multiple bags of saline I'm writing to you from my own bed while trying to lie on my left side and think clearly about what really matters.  I'm pissed.  No not because I almost died.  No not because I lost a uterus.  I'm pissed because my bodacious ta-tas that are producing a good quantity of milk aren't staying erect enough to allow my Eilonwy to latch properly.  My nipples and aerolas are just too fricken big!

I've looked at vids on latching.  I've talked to a lactation consultant that tried to help us with our latch but wasn't all that successful.  But she did show me how to use the milking machine.  While at home I'm using the manual pump that I have on hand as it is helping reduce the fluid build up in my hands from the third spacing.  Now if only I had dexterity to use my feet to pump with as those are so swollen they look like I have had major collagen injections to remove every wrinkle and bend.

For now I'll be happy knowing that I can pump and J can feed her.  I'll be happy knowing that I'm alive.  If I didn't have so much to live for I probably would have kissed the pain in my life good bye as we know that I have a lot of medical issues that give me a lot of pain.  I can deal with pain as long as I have love in my life.

Oh and by the way we now know with medical evidence which of the embryos took from the two we put back.  Remember we did donor egg and donor embryo.  The donor embryo mom and dad produced offspring that were O+.  The donor egg person was A+ and J is O+ which means that any of their embryos would be A+ upon testing.  Eilonwy is A+.  Yup the little embryo that could and did make it is J's baby.  Not like it matters a hill of beans because she is so wrapped around his heart.

This blog will continue to be written and evolve.  I'm more than just my infertility and I'm more than just a parent too.  I'm an Army Wife and this is my life!

35 Weeks 4 Days

Today I was at my regular OB appointment.  Yesterday was the high risk OB appointment.  I'll give details now about both appointments.

Baby Girl is doing well.  She now weighs 5 lbs 3 ounces.
Her head is still small at the 6th percentile.
Her femur length is still small.
Her abdomen and humerus are measuring right on track and within the good ranges.  Overall she is 22.8th percentile.

I have more blurry pictures of her but I won't be posting them.  Instead I'll be working on her scrapbook since I have bed rest now prescribed.

The blood work and urine tests were in today.  Pre-eclampsia.  Oh well.  Kind of knew we had a good chance of winning that lottery since I had hypertension before pregnancy.

I start the twice weekly NST to make sure baby girl is going to be okay.

Today I had the swab for the GBS.  Is it normal that the doctor also ran the swab across the rectum too?

Well I need to post this blog and get off my feet.  I'll be using J's computer which is a pain in the butt for most of the rest of the pregnancy.

Showing Signs of Pre-eclampsia

Yesterday I went to my regular OB appointment at Winn ACH.  I was seen by a doctor on the other team as my doctor was all booked up.  I knew I'd be seeing a different doctor.  The man was just okay as a doctor.  Not because he was old but because he really seemed disinterested in my chart, in giving out information and he wasn't prepared for any of the questions that I or my spouse posed to him.

J had to ask him for the measurements of the baby's heart rate and the fundal height after the doctor completed each.  Normally the doctors will be forth coming with each finding.

The doctor had no clue about the echocardiogram when I asked him about the results.  He did print me out a copy of the papers and said that he isn't a cardiologist and doesn't know how to read them.  Well simply enough just read the summary doc.  The summary is the simplest part of the report to understand.  It will tell you if there is a major problem or not.

The summary reported what I already knew:  I have hypertension.  There was no mention of the PFO.  My blood flow was good.  So I'm not sure why the ultrasound tech even told me three times and showed me the hole in my heart on the echo screen.  I mean I know they have government cover-ups but why would they bother with a spouse?  J has his theory on that one.  First off the findings weren't read here at Winn but were sent to Lackland AFB in Texas.  Perhaps the doctor who read the results was rushed  or over worked?  Maybe there is a conspiracy to prevent a special needs patient being referred off post to see a cardiologist.  We don't have one here and each time a specialist is needed it gets costly for Tricare.  We know that insurance companies try to cut costs.  J also knows that we should never have been stationed here as Winn can't handle my EFMP needs without a cardiologist on staff and I was established with one at Madigan well before we left or he even got orders for Stewart.  Someone just turned a blind eye to the matter of the EFMP and that happens a lot with the Army unfortunately.

Back to the title of this post.  My bp was 148/86.  I've gained 5.4 pounds in a week which now puts me at plus one pound from my start weight at the pregnancy.  I've been getting more frequent headaches.  My face, hands, feet, legs are swollen. My legs show indents easily with minimal pressure on them.  I have a previous history of high blood pressure and have been on medication for five years for it.  I also have an intermittent pain on the right side of my abdomen just above and sometimes equal to the belly button.  I didn't think to mention this last thing to the doctor.  Why?  Well the pain comes and goes and I forget about it until it starts again.  The doctor was the one that suspected the Pre-eclampsia saying he thinks it is quite possible that I've developed it.  Thus he put down on the COB paperwork that I have to see him in a week.

The doctor ordered a CBC and OB panel along with a 24 hour urine study.  I've done the urine study before, back in January, and it came back high on protein.  Way high actually for the baseline; so high that they marked the printout with an "H" next to the number value.  Wish I had thought to write down the numbers when I had my chart accessible during the move.  So if my baseline is high there is a chance I might be considered just normal this time around?  Who knows.

I have two more weeks and two days until I would consider allowing them to deliver her here on post at 37 weeks.  Anything before 37 weeks and I'll be begging them to send me to Savannah where they'd have a NICU to handle the issue.  Here we only have a level one NICU with just 4 beds.  Sometimes I wonder if I'd be better off hoping a train to NYC and deliver up there where I know the quality of hospitals is better.  But that would be a lot of red tape and Tricare would most likely say that I'm on my own with that bill.

Today I go to see my high risk OB in Savannah.  Hopefully they will be opting to do a growth scan.  They are supposed to do a growth scan on the days that I see the actual doctor.  Last time they did the growth scan it was on an appt. day that I was only slated to see the NP.  The NP that didn't put any notes in my chart about the IUGR either or the need for an umbilical cord study!  But I have a witness, J was with me for that appointment.  I'm starting to wonder if the high risk OB I'm seeing is one of those doctors that slid through medical school with a "C" average since he is only rated at 3 stars for his care.  Of course I didn't get to pick him, Tricare picked him because he was the lowest bid for the contract.

Nicki, Kenna and Sam

This blog post is a referral to my cousin's blog post.  I'd like my readers to take a moment out of their day if they would please, and say a prayer for my cousin's new born baby girl, Kenna.

Nicole had pre-eclampsia and Kenna had to be born way too early.  Earlier than most of us really wanted.  If we could we had hoped for another week but when the health of mom and baby are in danger the time becomes now.  Nicole and Sam now have a long journey ahead of them raising a preemie.  Kenna was born weighing only 9 ounces and being only 9.5 inches long.  Yesterday was her birthday.  Its a miracle that Kenna has made it through the night.

To read more about Nicole and her journey read her two blogs:

http://suddenlysinglejourney.com/2012/01/10/oh-bleak-day/

http://whatdreamersdo.blogspot.com