Trying to Stay Positive

My mind is a mess right now.  I hate to say it but I think I'm actually getting depressed from yesterday's OB news.  Probably quite understandable.

Before I left JBLM baby girl was fine at the 47th percentile.  Yesterday not so good.  Overall she was only in the 27th percentile for weight and her head was only measuring in the 9th percentile.  The high risk OB is worried but says that there is nothing that I could do or can do.

We are now hoping that I make it to the 34th week and that she continues to grow.  She only gained a pound in the last month.  She now weighs 3 lbs 13 ounces which is about a week behind for weight as she should be weighing about 4 lbs 4 ounces.

I'm not really worried about the weight.  I didn't expect a 9 pound baby.  I was only 6 pounds 4 ounces at birth and my husband was something like 7 pounds 13 ounces.  With the fact that I haven't gained weight, but the doctors were fine with that I also knew she wasn't going to be huge except for her big hands and feet which are a trait in my husband's family.

Yes, after yesterday's appointment the OB staff is almost positive J is the genetic father and it isn't the donor embryo but the donor egg with his gametes that took.  The donor embryo had tall genetics in it.  The donor egg lady was only 5'3" and J is only 5'8".  The women in J's family have slightly above average shoe and glove sizes though most are only about 5'3" in height.

We are also hoping that maybe our daughter will just be petite?

The head size is what is scary.  Next week they'll be taking an in-depth look at my daughter's umbilical cord to see if there are any possible defects.  The only other thing that could have caused her head to be so small besides a defect in her umbilical cord would be the hypertension issue.  But the hypertension was there before I got pregnant and well controlled on the medicine I've been taking for the past 5 years.

The problem with the head size is that it could mean developmental defects.  I will still love her even if she isn't "perfect" to the humans of the world.  She is mine.  Damn it I want to cry.  I just want the best for her and I know I tried to do just that by really watching my diet closely and relaxing during stressful situations.  But there are just things that we cannot control.

Please God just let her continue to grow and stay inside of me long enough so that she comes out healthy.  Please?

Nicki, Kenna and Sam

This blog post is a referral to my cousin's blog post.  I'd like my readers to take a moment out of their day if they would please, and say a prayer for my cousin's new born baby girl, Kenna.

Nicole had pre-eclampsia and Kenna had to be born way too early.  Earlier than most of us really wanted.  If we could we had hoped for another week but when the health of mom and baby are in danger the time becomes now.  Nicole and Sam now have a long journey ahead of them raising a preemie.  Kenna was born weighing only 9 ounces and being only 9.5 inches long.  Yesterday was her birthday.  Its a miracle that Kenna has made it through the night.

To read more about Nicole and her journey read her two blogs:

http://suddenlysinglejourney.com/2012/01/10/oh-bleak-day/

http://whatdreamersdo.blogspot.com