Not Sure Why

I'm not sure why I lost this pregnancy.  I'm not sure why I lost the previous three either.  But I aim to find out something when I have my WTF appointment on the 23rd of February.

Why is my body rejecting or killing off the babies?  I asked the REI nurse.  We discussed a few issues.  It could be my medical problems.  It could very well be an autoimmune disease as I have two and there are several in my family.  But could eczema and psoriasis really be the cause of my body losing so many pregnancies?  It seems rather far fetched.  Maybe I'm developing my family's Celiac Disease?  I was figuring the problems I had from eating wheat, bran and not so much the oat were in my head.  I guess a blood test could figure out most of these issues.

Blood test are only going to tell me just so much though, my doctor has to figure out the rest.  I'm hoping its not the endometriosis.  I really don't want to be cut open.  My endometriosis was able to be diagnosed without cutting me opening.  I know many may think that the only way to give a definitive diagnosis for endometriosis is with a knife.  Well mine was diagnosed via symptoms years ago and finally with the Saline Infusion Sonogram last year.  The doctor found the endometrioma and there is was, "ta-da you've got it" moment and we are sure now.  When the first IVF egg retrieval day came around sure enough when the follicles were drained sure enough only blood in that particular one.  I guess I'm just lucky that my tubes are still okay.

Back to the autoimmune diseases.  In my family there is Parkinson's, Psoriasis, Eczema, Celiac, Rheumatoid Arthritis, and IBD.  Nothing that will kill you but it will make your life rather miserable if you go untreated.  The IBD I'm still guessing at really because I don't have all the family medical history updated and I know that I was diagnosed with IBS myself years ago.  I just hope it never progresses to the point it becomes IBD.  Though there are days that I wonder if the abdominal pain I have is the endometriosis or the beginning of IBD.  I've learned to live with a modified diet.  I'm very careful about what I eat.  I do use my lactose intolerance and whey allergy to my benefit when I do get constipated.  I do the same with my sensitivity to gluten products.  Hey when you've got to go and it hurts I don't reach for chemical but I do use my allergies instead.

Speaking of pain, I really wish this ongoing pain in my left side, right around the duodenum would just go away.  Seems like whatever I eat of late just hates me.  I'll blame that on the fibromyalgia nerve pain and the IBS for today.

In an hour I'll see my PCM (primary care manager or doctor) to get a referral for my yearly, though its been two years, check up for my asthma.  I never said I got good medical care with the Army.  If anything my medical care and coverage have gotten worse with the budget cuts.  Fewer doctors off post are taking the coverage and now when I book appointments within the Tricare system I'm asked if I have additional insurance.  As if I could afford it,  seriously they don't pay my spouse enough to cover some of the co-pays for out of network prescriptions and doctors visits.  Oh and some won't get reimbursed either.  I remember paying out $75 for just one script for my thyroid and Tricare refused to reimburse me.  Whatever!

Oh and for the final slap in the face or should I say first slap in the face.  Yesterday  when my RE's nurse gave me the results said I was never really pregnant.  WHAT!  Excuse me I saw them put the embryo in me.  There was a growing, living, bundle of cells in me wanting to live.  Can you tell she's never been pregnant?