Something Isn't Right

J gifted me this morning and I don't even have the energy to open the gifts.  Yes, I'm that tired.

I still need to go bake something that is going to make me sick.  Think today I'll make oatmeal cookies.  I never got around to making them last week.  No, I'm still gnawing on the bread from last week.  Amazingly enough it stayed fresh.

I'm sick.  My asthma is getting worse because of the GERD.  Oh and its either my GERD or I do indeed have Celiac or heaven help me my liver is getting cranky.  Why you wonder?  Well the evidence was in my toilet today.  The bile production isn't normal.  Yellow is not normal.  I shouldn't be having this much trouble with constipation either.  Its odd but bread used to have the opposite effect on me, not any more.  Oh and I gained 1.4 pounds over night.  I look huge.  I'm not kidding you when I say I went up another pant size over night with the swelling.  Everything is swollen on me, not just my face now.  Two clothing sizes since I started this experiment and only 1.4 pounds gained is just crazy.

I gave up on the peppermint tea after just two cups of it.  It was making my GERD worse.  Its been days since I had the last cup of it too.  Tums and Gas-x are still my bosom buddies.  No more than 2 Tums a day as I don't want to mess with the blood results nor give myself hypoparathyroidism from too much calcium being free in my blood stream.  I've had it before from the cortisone shots and its not fun at all.

There won't be a special dinner served at my house tonight.  Last night I had a few pieces of California roll and one egg roll.  I had some pie yesterday (it had a flour crust so oh what the heck its gluten), and some unsalted nuts.  Not sure how I could have gained 1.4 pounds from that but I did.

The 23rd can't get here quick enough.  I want to go back to my gluten free eating.  My stomach can't handle much more of this. 10 days until I beg my RE doctor to do some testing on me.  I might just make an appointment with my PCM in the meantime to get a referral to the gastroenterologist at Madigan.  Its been almost two years since I last saw one.  But I can almost bet it will take two weeks to get the PCM appointment and another 2-4 weeks to get to see the gastro doc.  I might as well wait and hope the RE doc will agree to the testing.

All I know is that something isn't right.  I'm sick and its not the flu.  Since I'm not on vitamins I think J and I have agreed to fore-go trying naturally.  I can't handle another positive hpt only to lose it a day later.  I need more time.  I need to be on folic acid for peace of mind too before we try again and right now I have to abstain from vitamins and mineral supplements to get an accurate blood count.

Day 3 We'll See

Yesterday you might recall that I baked Wheat Bran Dinner Rolls.  Yummy though they were I was really glad to have on hand the herb of peppermint.  I needed that tea in the worst way.

Oh I ate three of the rolls yesterday for my meals and not much else.  My stomach expanded and it was hurting to get anything else in there with all the belching and acid reflux.  The tea did help as I had my dental cleaning to go to last night and I really didn't want the stench of vomit in my mouth when the dental hygienist had her face so close to mine.

My pelvis hurt more than my digestive tract yesterday.  I finally got a call back from the RE nurse in the late afternoon.  She said I can talk about it all with the doctor, as in you'll have to wait until the WTF appointment, and I was to expect this period to be so painful.  But that if I have a fever, I don't mind you, that they would see me right away.  As for pain relief she said if I have anything left from the egg retrieval to use it.  Thankfully I do have some left.

When sitting in the dental chair last night the pain was bad.  The dentist was tying to not make me laugh but I did and it hurt my pelvic region.  I knew sleeping was going to be interesting.  By the way, no cavities.

I waited until bed time last night, after a scalding hot bath to decide to use the narcotics.  I was hoping the tub would ease my pain.  It helped with the gas bubbles in my stomach and I did belch a lot more.  Why is it always the small intestine and stomach that hurt when I eat bread?  But I did end up taking two of the pills in the night.  I spaced them out.  I didn't sleep much because the pain broke through several times.  Poor J didn't get much sleep last night I think I kept him up with my groaning and complaining.

Today its a bit better.  The indigestion is still bad.  I had one dinner roll at 0500 hrs with J.  I just had another for a "real" breakfast with a glass of juice.   The icy fingers are already creeping up my throat to clamp down.  I swear its like a cold burning sensation if that makes any sense.  I really can't explain it any better than that.

I was going to make oatmeal cookies today but laundry prevails.  I have a load to finish up still and put away.  Plus from the photo above you can see I still need to plow through the rest of the home baked goods, with J's help of course, before they get stale.  Maybe in a few days I'll make something with oatmeal in it.  Cookies are a bit high in sodium so I'll try to find a lower sodium recipe before I conclude that would be the best use of my oatmeal.

Oh and I've lost 0.2 lbs now.  Not much.  Not exercising.  My clothes are getting tighter too.  I want my stomach swelling to go now.

2nd Day Of This Weirdness

I made it through a single day with about 15 more to go until my WTF appointment.  But I made it through the night with the aid of Gas-x and peppermints.  Oh and they didn't fix the stomach pain entirely either.  Nor did it stop the puking.

Just think this was only the beginning I thought to myself.  I had only made bleached flour bread or as the recipe calls it, Amish White Bread.  If anything this particular bread should be the easiest for me to digest.

Today I'm making Wheat Bran Dinner rolls.  Today I hit the hard stuff.

My weight is still the same, thankfully.  I don't like what all this bloating is doing to my body already.  This morning I woke up with a double chin.  I had just gotten rid of the double chin in January too!

Thanks for all your support yesterday.  I'm not going to hold my breath waiting for the REI office to call me back.  They haven't yet and I do understand that I am no longer a priority to them.  Its just rather hurtful to be given the brush off so soon.

I need answers.  I'm willing to do another colonoscopy and endoscopy if the blood work shows positive.  I've had both 11-15 years ago.  Intestinal problems run in the family too.  I've had an ulcer and GERD.  I was on prilosec for most of 10 years before going off of it almost two years ago for these infertility treatments.  Before J came home from Iraq I was slated for a procedure to have another endoscopy done because of my problems. I had to cancel the procedure because he was due home when I would be having it.   The doctors knew they'd have to go in with a balloon and reinflate the area that seem to have collapsed a bit.  At one point my closure was a stage 4.  Something was aggravating my inners and I'm guessing it was the foods that I ate.  Its not too often that I now suffer with the feeling of trying swallow a golf ball when I'm only trying to drink water.  I'm thankful for that bit of reprieve.  However, as of this morning its back.  I think I might have a slight allergy to something.

Here is a bit more about my family medical history.  Mom has the Celiac Disease, mild but she ignores.  She has always been allergic to wheat and oatmeal and breaks out in a rash when she eats it besides the gastric issues.  Mom also had to have a foot of large intestine removed when she was just 19. She was vomiting her own feces it was that bad.  My dad's side has colon cancer.  Most likely unrelated to the Celiac Disease but still its a concern.   Dad has always had issues, well as long as I have known him, with his digestive system too, perhaps he inherited it from his father.

But anyway my experiment continues today.  In a little bit I'll be getting the dry yeast out again to make bran dinner rolls.  Only 15 days to go.

As for the endo pain.  Oh baby its there.  When I barely touch my pelvic area it hurts.  I'm trying to ignore that pain to better focus on the other symptoms right now.  I did say trying.

Excuse me I just belched again.  Oh this is going to be a fun day.

I also lost one of my followers today.  I guess that they got sick of me?

Starting Over The Hard Way

Today I got my wicked red witch of a visitor.  Oh I knew it was coming.  But before we get into that I'll tell you what I am doing to prepare for the WTF appointment later this month.

I guess you could say I'm carb loading.  Not that I want to but really it seems as though I have no choice.  If I want to get the proper testing done I need to be prepared.  I know I must have a sensitivity to gluten, wheat, bran and oats.  Whenever I eat the stuff I end up in the bathroom and its not pleasant.  However because I've been eliminating it from my diet over the past 6 months, thus just one more reason why I've lowered my blood pressure and lost the weight, I won't show positive at all for the Celiac Disease if I did have it.  No in order to show positive or have proper testing I have to be eating the stuff that makes me sick for at least 10-14 days.  I guess its a good thing that I researched it a bit, looked through my old medical papers. and asked my mom about the family medical history.  I have just enough time before the appointment to get the crap back into my system. But I'll have to tell them that I was abstaining from it for half the year as that might still mess with the results a bit.

Today I'm baking bread.  If there is just one way that I can still control some of the sodium I ingest daily its through my own efforts.  Right now the dough is rising in the kitchen.  I had to turn the heat up in the house from 62 to 67 and turn the oven on two hours early to warm the kitchen enough to get the yeast to work.  I'm going to hate the Minol bill when it comes in.

Back to why my own bread.  If you've ever taken the time to read packages you'll notice that most breads are 120 mg of sodium to about 200 mg of sodium per slice.  Since I'm on a sodium restricted diet of 1000 mg a day I have to cut corners.  My bread recipe uses 1 1/2 tsp of salt in it for the two loaves.  I use Celtic Sea Salt which is about 550 mg per teaspoon.  Math time 775 mg for the 1 1/2 tsp. divide that by two loaves 387.5 mg per loaf.  I get about 10 slices out of each loaf  so that is about 38.75 mg per slice.  No other ingredients in this recipe have sodium in them.  So I could say pig out and eat a whole loaf of bread and not worry about my sodium content.  Note that I also use unsalted butter when I eat the bread or other low sodium and no sodium spreads. 

Oh I know I'm going to be hurting.  Gross factor here:  by the end of the day I'll be wishing for loperimide and a large tube of preparation-H. 

No choice it has to be done.

Now for CD 1.  Its here.  It hurts.  I tried to call the RE nurse to let her know about it but I only got the voice mail with her promising to get back to me asap.  Its been over 2 hours.  I may or may not hear from her later today.

Yesterday I went to see my PCM.  I wrote about that a bit.  I was put back on my nebulizer and the flovent to go with my flonase and emergency inhaler.  I guess he heard something and wasn't pleased.  Well he wouldn't be very pleased with me right now if he knew I went off it all and ditched my vitamins too.  I'm only staying on the high blood pressure medicine right now.  All the rest of my medicines could affect the upcoming tests I'm going to demand to have done.  Steroids are notorious for messing with results.  I have three prescribed to me right now.  I'm noot going to take them until the tests are done and the results in hand.  I need to know why my body is rejecting or killing off the embryos.

I just hope that the Army medical staff takes me seriously.  They should, I have enough wrong with me that I should be seeing several specialists monthly and my PCM monthly too according to my EFMP forms.

Not Sure Why

I'm not sure why I lost this pregnancy.  I'm not sure why I lost the previous three either.  But I aim to find out something when I have my WTF appointment on the 23rd of February.

Why is my body rejecting or killing off the babies?  I asked the REI nurse.  We discussed a few issues.  It could be my medical problems.  It could very well be an autoimmune disease as I have two and there are several in my family.  But could eczema and psoriasis really be the cause of my body losing so many pregnancies?  It seems rather far fetched.  Maybe I'm developing my family's Celiac Disease?  I was figuring the problems I had from eating wheat, bran and not so much the oat were in my head.  I guess a blood test could figure out most of these issues.

Blood test are only going to tell me just so much though, my doctor has to figure out the rest.  I'm hoping its not the endometriosis.  I really don't want to be cut open.  My endometriosis was able to be diagnosed without cutting me opening.  I know many may think that the only way to give a definitive diagnosis for endometriosis is with a knife.  Well mine was diagnosed via symptoms years ago and finally with the Saline Infusion Sonogram last year.  The doctor found the endometrioma and there is was, "ta-da you've got it" moment and we are sure now.  When the first IVF egg retrieval day came around sure enough when the follicles were drained sure enough only blood in that particular one.  I guess I'm just lucky that my tubes are still okay.

Back to the autoimmune diseases.  In my family there is Parkinson's, Psoriasis, Eczema, Celiac, Rheumatoid Arthritis, and IBD.  Nothing that will kill you but it will make your life rather miserable if you go untreated.  The IBD I'm still guessing at really because I don't have all the family medical history updated and I know that I was diagnosed with IBS myself years ago.  I just hope it never progresses to the point it becomes IBD.  Though there are days that I wonder if the abdominal pain I have is the endometriosis or the beginning of IBD.  I've learned to live with a modified diet.  I'm very careful about what I eat.  I do use my lactose intolerance and whey allergy to my benefit when I do get constipated.  I do the same with my sensitivity to gluten products.  Hey when you've got to go and it hurts I don't reach for chemical but I do use my allergies instead.

Speaking of pain, I really wish this ongoing pain in my left side, right around the duodenum would just go away.  Seems like whatever I eat of late just hates me.  I'll blame that on the fibromyalgia nerve pain and the IBS for today.

In an hour I'll see my PCM (primary care manager or doctor) to get a referral for my yearly, though its been two years, check up for my asthma.  I never said I got good medical care with the Army.  If anything my medical care and coverage have gotten worse with the budget cuts.  Fewer doctors off post are taking the coverage and now when I book appointments within the Tricare system I'm asked if I have additional insurance.  As if I could afford it,  seriously they don't pay my spouse enough to cover some of the co-pays for out of network prescriptions and doctors visits.  Oh and some won't get reimbursed either.  I remember paying out $75 for just one script for my thyroid and Tricare refused to reimburse me.  Whatever!

Oh and for the final slap in the face or should I say first slap in the face.  Yesterday  when my RE's nurse gave me the results said I was never really pregnant.  WHAT!  Excuse me I saw them put the embryo in me.  There was a growing, living, bundle of cells in me wanting to live.  Can you tell she's never been pregnant?