The 7th Day test

I had the P4 7DPO test done today.  Today is 7dpo and CD 19.  Other than some minor twinges on the left side of my uterus and left ovary I have nothing noticeable for symptoms.  Well headache and fatigue but those are probably from allergies and well heck, I have fibromyalgia so when am I not tired?

Progesterone was 10.14

Better than last month of 9.73 but still not all that good.

I did ovulate.  That is about all I can say from that test score.  Probably won't get anything to stick.  On to the next cycle.

I'll test in a few days to see if I have anything exciting to report on the HCG.  Doubtful but one never knows.

Hopeful For Something Good

I posted this key chain in my shop this morning.  I think of my dad when I see that patch and especially when I see this key chain.  My dad was in the 82nd Airborne back in the early 60's.

Today was the appointment with the RE.  I didn't do another OPK.  No sense in wasting it as I was soon to get some scientific evidence of my ovulation.

Dr.C. was on today.  He inserted the wand and I had a bit of discomfort.  No cysts.  Yay!  I really think my modified Endo Diet is really helping.

My uterine lining was 12mm.  Yikes!  If I get a period in 14 or so days it's going to hurt as bad as the last cycles.

But it's good that it's so fluffy Dr.C. and Nurse M told me.  I have follicles.  Yes, follicles as in plural.  Unmedicated friends.  I did it all on my own again.  Looks like I should ovulated for sure in the next 24 hours.  Bring on the sex.  We've been practicing every night for the past three days.  I know we are depleting the numbers but I look at this way...more bombs to hit the target rich environment over several days.

I have a 21 mm follicle that looks perfectly normal on the right side.

I have a 26 mm follicle on the left that again looks perfectly normal.

I have a third one but he didn't measure it as he said it looked too small to be of any good.

Dr.C. was pleasantly surprised and had hope for us for this cycle since my body is now responding normally for two full cycles.

I reminded him I'm old.  I told him I doubt the eggs are any good.  He said that my body has to at some time produce a few good ones so why not one of these.  He was the doctor that did my two IVFs so he knows that I do occasionally have a good egg.

I talked to him about progesterone support and getting the P4 done next week Monday.  He agreed to the test but doubted I'd need the progesterone.  I said it's for the endometriosis since it can be quite painful to have a bleed.  He understood that part especially with my lining being 12 mm and the size of the clots I said I had passed.  He'll decide after the P4 results.

I told him that we'd still like to do donor eggs if J can re-enlist.  He, the one who originally suggested we consider doing donor eggs, thought now that we might not need it.  WTF?

So okay I'm going into my two week wait tomorrow.  He didn't do a blood draw today to check the E2 or P4.  The follicles didn't show signs of collapsing in yet.  I'm guessing tonight it is time to send in the sperm to hold hostage the eggs.  Wish us luck.

Only Time Will Tell Now

I finished this particular hat last night and today I listed it in my shop this morning before I headed off to see my doctor.

I love this hat.  I have my doubts that I will ever have a child of my own for whom I can make clothing for or teach things to, or even hang up their finger paintings.

At 0720 hrs I had my blood draw today.  As I was sitting there another baby was being born in the hospital.  The music played over the loud speaker.  I knew my test would be negative.  Last night the pain on the right side was explosive.  Yes, explosive is the best word to describe the pain.

The nurse that works in conjunction with my PCM was nice enough to give me my lab results when I asked if they were in yet.  She said I wasn't to let the doctor know that I knew about it though.
E2  183
P4 5.94 or 5 something
HCG   Negative

Looks like I'm back in cyst country.  I called up my RE office when I got back from the department of Licensing today.  My PCM filled out the request to renew my handicap parking placards.  I picked up my new ones.  He also put in a request for physical therapy today.  He wanted to put me in a boot or as some call it a walking cast.  I said no for now.  He said that if PT wants me in an air cast he is also willing to supply that.  Yes, my left ankle is still messed up from the new injury to it on the 29th of August.

I asked, in the voice mail I left, for my lab results and a follow up appointment.  Something is going to need to be done.  I know that they offered to take out the offenders last time but I'd like to keep my ovaries for a bit longer.  You could say I've grown attached to them.

I want a child but then I don't want a child.  I want a baby but only if J can be here with me to watch it grow up.  I'm scared that one day he won't come back.  Typical feelings mind you considering his employment.

I'm a bit depressed today and am eating my depression.  Since I'm not pregnant I asked J that on his way home he could see if the commissary has lox and cream cheese on hand.  Salmon is good for me.  That is how I'm going to justify the splurge.  Since I'm not pregnant I'm not worried about the soft cheese issue that pregnant women have to avoid.

Now what is going through my mind is the very fact that through out these past few months on until October if any of the IVFs or the one natural had made it I would have been either holding a new born or getting ready to give birth.  So today's Brahms lullaby playing over the loud speakers was a real kick in the pants.

I am thankful however that I still have a chance, if that is, I can go through with the donor egg program.  There is no guarantee.  I might still miscarry.  This is my killer womb we are talking about.  Damn endometriosis.

With the cost of donor eggs being so high; 30k for a fresh and 18k for a frozen I still can't see why they call it donor.  I mean the donor doesn't get much for them.  And at those prices I'd hardly call it a donation.  It's more like a state dinner function with dessert for two!

You know what?  I'd still pay out the cost if I knew for sure that J will be able to re-enlist.  For now I have to wait.  For now it's all a pipe dream and not one I can smoke.  Oh yeah, and I need to get the cyst problem under control. 

CD 17 9DPO

I posted this item at my shop today along with matching moon earrings.

So I caved in today and tested at home.  I was going to wait until tomorrow but with the symptoms I was having I needed to eliminate a factor.  Yes the test was negative.  I really didn't expect it to be positive since I know it's still early.  I'll test again tomorrow.

Last night I had a lot of right side groin pain.  It made walking rather difficult as the pain radiated down my right side to the knee.  I had J get my cane for me so I could walk supported to the bathroom at least.  I'm thinking that I have a cyst again.  The E2 number didn't drop low enough and the cyst that was on the right side was only 2.5 from the 5 it was before but we all know I'm special.  I also have a follicle cyst as of last week on the left side that was measuring a 3.

Symptoms:
I've now lost 3 pounds in two days
pelvic pain bilateral
pain radiating down right leg making walking difficult
sore breasts
hunger
oh and even though I've lost weight my jeans are tighter than ever in the lower pelvic region just above the pubic hair line.

This isn't looking good folks.  If I get another cyst it's going to put using donor eggs back farther on the shelf than I had hoped.  Sure a pregnancy would have or would be nice but I'm having my doubts about it being pregnancy symptoms.  Monday can't get her quick enough.  I think Friday I'll give the RE a call again and ask them to add E2 and P4 to the lab test.  Something isn't good.

Today's mail was all mine.  That is surprising to me since of late most of it has been J's.  He received his glasses and college materials in the mail the past two weeks.  Today I'm the winner though I'm not so sure that is a good thing.  One of the pieces of mail I received was 9 x 13 inch 1/2 inch thick envelope from my hospital.  Maybe its the records they finally got around to copying?  I'll open it now to find out.  Yup good guess.  It did say Department of the Army Commander Madigan on it.  I requested a few records, infertility ones, back in July...took a bit to get them huh?  Now I have something to read today.

#######UPDATE######
From the doctor notes on 4 Sept with Major S.  Got to love this one.  I have two follicles on the left ovary and one on the right.  She never told me I had more than one on the left.  Largest one was the one recorded and told to me besides the one on the right.  SO um, could I have ovulated two eggs?  Well not like it matters much now.

Blood Test Results

At 1455 hrs Pacific Time Nurse M ( my favorite one) called me with the results.  Before giving me the results she asked me what we were expecting.  I said that I was thinking that perhaps another cyst with the symptoms I'm having.

Here are the results for 7 DPO:
Estridol (E2) was 124
Progesterone (P4) was 9.73

Though I'd like to see the E2 lower and the P4 higher it is only 7 DPO.  Hopefully my unmedicated, totally natural cycle will fix itself.  The E2 level means that there is possibly some cyst activity.  The P4 level means that I ovulated accordingly.  Wishing it were a solid 10 but like Nurse M said its only .27 off from it.  I guess give it another day.

So the symptoms could be leaning either way.  I told Nurse M that I realize we could schedule a beta HCG for next week Monday which will be 14 DPO but I'm scared because that will only be CD21.  She wants to schedule the beta.  She is always nurse hopeful.

Thursday I can start POAS.  I'm holding back until then because I'll be 10 DPO by then and I might stand a better chance of seeing a faint line by that day.  If I don't that is okay too because I realize it is early still.

Yes it could be early pregnancy symptoms.  It could be PMS or another ovarian cyst.  I'm not going to dwell on it and I'll get back to the hat I'm currently crocheting.  I'm trying to see if I can make an adult variation of the baby hats I've made for my shop.

Off to the kitchen I go to make supper.  Organic no hormones Turkey for the turkey meatloaf, Yukon gold potatoes mixed with the last of the potatoes I grew this year for mashed potatoes and french cut string beans.  One of J's favorite meals.  Last night I made red cabbage and bockwurst for him.

If some how I turn out to be pregnant naturally again, its been almost a year since that fete, I'm going to seriously have to figure out just how the heck my body allowed it again.  Oh and definitely hope that this one will stick if there is one in there and I'll be praying that it will be healthy with my ancient eggs.

CD 15 7DPO

Available for purchase in my shop.

Well as I type this I'm waiting to get the results from my lab work at 0845 hrs.  I have to wait at least until 1045 hrs to call the clinic.

I'm glad I went into my clinic today before going to the lab.  I was going to request that the blood draw be a STAT.  Turns out that Nurse J never even had Major S put in the lab request.  Now I'm not liking Major S or Nurse J all that much today.  Guessing Dr.B. was on hand today as the blood work paper stated his name on it and not Major S.
Nurse S is wonderful.  I spoke with her and told her what is going on with me symptom wise.  I'm afraid to say that I think I might be developing another ovarian cyst.  So Nurse S had Dr.B.  (one of whom did my surgery the other being Lt.Col. B) put in my request for an E2 level as well as the  P4.

symptoms today:
bi-lateral pelvic pain
back ache
sore breasts
uterine cramping
fatigue from having a week of insomnia (it's getting to be hard to fall asleep at night.  maybe I should take naps during the day?)
hungry

I'm really hoping the E2 level is going down from the 316 of last week Tuesday.  When my estrogen is up my breasts start to hurt along with the other symptoms listed above.  Oh I realize they could also be PMS or early pregnancy symptoms.  I'm so used to the ovarian cyst pain symptoms though that I doubt it could be anything else.

I'll blog about the lab results once I find out what they are.

CD 13 5DPO

Interesting day yesterday.

I fired my lawyer.

I got really annoyed by someone that I thought I could trust.  No not the husband.

I had pain on the left side in my pelvis.

So lets start with the lawyer.  I fired my work comp lawyer yesterday.  I need a letter from the firm stating that I no longer use them as representation.  For four years I haven't received a dime of monies owed to me.  My TENs unit died they say they can't help me.  Turns out they archived my case a few years ago.  Yes, archived it as in they don't care.  So I'm going to deal directly with the insurance carrier myself.  I spoke with them on the phone yesterday.  They instructed me what to do and gave me the name of my case worker.  Funny I had just asked my lawyer who my case worker was and they gave me the wrong name and a non-working number.  Mind you this was before I called them back and told them that they were fired.  They have no clue what is going on with my case.  I explained to the insurance company that I recently re-injured the same body part.   Its chronically unstable or so my doctors have told me.

Now as for the betrayer of my trust.  I'd like to write quite a bit about it on here but unfortunately the offender does occasionally read my blog.  Let's just say that I can no longer trust this person and will slowly wean off contact with them.  It will just seem like we've grown apart is all.  I've told my husband about this person and one other person that is a blogger and good friend on facebook.  I know my husband and my friend on facebook won't rat me out.

Last night I had some pain on the left side of my pelvis.  This morning my uterus was feeling really tight when I did my morning stretches.  I went pee, wiped of course, and noticed a tan-ish discharge in the mucus.  Kind of early for the spotting of my period to begin.  Still might be a bit early for implantation bleeding to start.  Though it is possible I suppose I mean my body is weird like that.  I did ovulate on CD 8 which is really early.  Well whatever it is I'll know more about what is going on in my body on Monday when I get my P4 levels checked.  Hopefully Nurse J marked it stat and not routine.  If its routine I could be waiting days to find out my levels.  Maybe I should stop by their clinic first to ask if they could mark it stat for me?

ETSY shop is updated with two new items today.  J is busy making an antiqued silver color (gunmetal) chainmaille bracelet today.  I'll post it when he is finished.  Could take him another week to finish it since he is really busy with his homework today too.