Giving A Bit Back

My infertility clinic owed me a refund after the accountant and I figured out the bills.  It wasn't a lot after they figured in where they had forgotten to charge me.  I had pointed that unpaid bill out to them.  I didn't want a hidden charge showing up like with my other infertility clinic when I miscarried.  Hopefully this time the babies will stick and stick well, for say nine months.

When all was said and done I had a credit of a little over $130 left over from the bills.  I told my husband what I'd like to do with the found money and he agreed.

My husband's friend and former battle buddy is doing a fund raising page for St. Jude's Childrens research.  We decided that this was where we wanted our found money to go.  You can click on that link if you want to donate too. 

My grandfather used to make that one of his favorite charities my mother told me.  Just another reason why I felt like this was the place where our money should go.  I hope that if I'm lucky enough to have children I won't need St. Jude's hospital but if I do it is nice to know that such a place exists.

2nd Blanket for Charity

Finally its finished.  Now I just need to find something to do my hands.  Oh I have plenty of projects that I never completed so perhaps I'll spend my time doing those.  I like to stay busy especially when J is deployed.

The blanket is 45x 87 inches making it a twin size.  I have it laid out over my queen sized bed for a reference point.  The main part of the blanket is knitted with a ruffled crochet edge.  I like and I hope that who ever it is given to will like it too.

I contacted the head of our FRGs on post here and hopefully she'll be able to give it a good home.  The first blanket I made went to a wounded warrior.  Hopefully this one will find a home with one too.

As you can see the color is repeating.  I have green, variegated, and red at one end as well as at the other.  The only two colors that aren't repeating are the tan and white.  The green yarn is also the ruffled edge.

Marriage counseling went well today.  We had a bit of a break thru which is always nice.  I like improving our communication skills.  I'm not a mind reader no matter how hard I try and when a woman asks a man, "what's wrong?" they aren't likely to dish like a woman would.  We have to find ways to get the information.  Maybe women would make better intelligence agents as we are the manipulators, we have to be to find out what they don't want to say.

On the homefront, I injured myself today.  I had another clutzy moment while J was out of the house.  I rolled my right foot, not injuring the ankle of which I've done plenty of times but instead injuring the side of the foot.  I put an Ace sleeve on it and will stay off it for the remainder of the day.  Well okay I'll try to stay off my foot.  I tend to be a bit hyper active and sitting still for more than 15 minutes is rather difficult for me.

Hopefully I won't accidentally kill myself before the two week wait is over.  I'm always so clutzy during the two week wait.

Give and Take

Somehow over night I lost a follower.

My numbers dropped by one.

Wasn't me, I'm still following myself.

But that's okay because the world doesn't revolve around me or the number of followers I have.  It seems to these days revolve around my infertility.

When I initially made this blog it was going to be all about my life as an Army wife.  Well infertility is part of that journey.  Not the part that I want to write about every day but still its part of who I am and how my spouse and I are dealing  with our obstacles.

Yesterday my spouse came home early for his family time.  Yes, the Army tries to give its soldiers family time each week.  Sometimes the job does get in the way but at least they do realize how important the family is to the soldier.  However, he got a phone call a few hours later and he had to return to work.  It was going to be a long night.  I really can't discuss what this minor mission involved but I'll just say it was mission essential that he be there.  Today, he normally gets the weekend off, he had to return to work again to finish up.  They actually gave them 6 hours of sleep last night and the chance to go home for it too!  YAY!

So my life not only revolves around my infertility it revolves around my spouse's job.  Its a very important job.  A job that only 1% of Americans are willing to take on.  He knows he could give a limb or two or even his life.  But he loves what he does, he loves me and I love him.  We survive what must be done and try to scratch out some time for one another to make our bonds stronger.  Its not easy with the amount he's been gone but we are trying.

As for the blanket photo above and the reason why its in this post; I'm proud to say its found a home.  I started weaving the squares for that Queen sized blanket when my spouse was on his deployment to Iraq.  I finished it this summer while he was on another deployment.  I had a contact that found a home for the blanket through Fischer House and a wounded warrior is now in possession of the blanket.  I'm so glad its gone to someone that really deserves to know some warmth, kindness and love.  Too often we forget those that gave all to protect our freedoms.

I'm about half-way done a twin sized blanket.  For now its been put away because of the holidays.  I'll get back to it again in January when I have more time.  Again I'll donate this blanket to a charity so that some family member of a solider or a wounded warrior will know some warmth in cold times.

Charity Blanket

Last week I finally finished up the blanket I'd been working on for over a year.  I'm going to find a charity now to donate it to. 

I was thinking of a charity here at my military installation since I did use my husband's money to make the blanket and he is a soldier.

I started this blanket in April of 2010 when J was still in  Iraq.  Each square is hand woven by me.  Each square has a hand crocheted edge too.  Oh and there are 144 squares which makes this blanket a queen size. 

The blanket drapes over my queen size bed so that it will easily tuck in or could be used as just a bed cover if desired. 

Now I'm just hoping that there is a charity that will want the blanket.  I'm not sure about the market these days and if they could possibly raffle it off to make more money for their charity or if I should just find a buyer and donate the money to the charity of my choice.

The reason it took me over a year to make is that I have carpal tunnel and tendonitis in both of my hands.  Okay that and the fact that with J's homecoming I took a break from creating for a few months, more like 6 months but who's counting?

If anyone has any ideas on how I should go about donating this blanket or selling it and donating the full purchase price let me know.  Easily I've spent $75 in yarn alone not including my own time which, when I had my own business I used to charge for my labor when creating an item as my time is not free.  Hopefully I can get about $100-200 for a sale price to donate or maybe they can raise that much from this blanket.

These are the two charities I had in mind:
http://www.woundedwarriorproject.org/
http://fortlewisfisherhouse.org/

Which one do you think would be the best for this item?  I'd like to be able to donate to my own installation.

Thoughts That Plague The Unconsious Mind

This morning I awoke not once but twice from nightmares.  I'm not sure of one particular thing that might have triggered the nightmares but its a good thing that J wasn't in bed with me.  I was thrashing about the bed and yelling.  Well I was yelling in the dream, maybe not in reality, however, I did wake up with the covers askew and me on the wrong side of the bed.

I've been under quite a bit of stress of late.  I think I need me time.  I've got plenty of it right now but somehow I always feel like I need to be doing something constructive.

Yesterday I finished the blanket I've been working on since early 2010, just before J came home from Iraq.  For a while I had put it away but of late I've been working like elf to get it finished.  I have many other projects that need to be finished too but never enough time.  I was going to send the blanket to my mom so that she could raffle it off for charity down there for the vets but now I think that I'll save the postage and find a buyer here for it so that I donate the money to charity up here.  Maybe a charity exclusive to my installation so that I know the funds will go to help another soldier.

I called my mom last night to tell her about the IVF for this October.  I jokingly said "want to pay half?".  Her reply was, "Half a grandkid? I'll talk to your father about it later tonight".  Oh my word, really?  I was only kidding but seriously if she wants to help out on this IVF I'd love it.  Heck even a few hundred would help out.  My parents have no grandchildren.  Its not likely they'll ever get any from my brother either.  He prefers the life he lives without all the complications.

I'm worried that this IVF might not work.  That if my parents do help out they'll hate me for using their money with no return.  That might sound harsh but I know my parents pretty well.  One of my nightmares last night was about this very thing, that I'd disappoint them yet again.  No, they aren't like other parents when they are disappointed in me they punish me, even through distance they find their ways.  I really hope, that if I'm lucky enough to have a baby, that I'm not going to be like that to my kid.

Resting And Relaxing

I'm tired.  More than a week of being sleep deprived has ruined my already fragile immune system.  Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome mean that I get sick easily and it takes quite a while to get better.  However, now that I'm alone I doing way more than I should.  No I can't call a respite care worker.

Why no to the respite care worker?  Well they've re-vamped the program and I no longer qualify for care.  Okay such is life.  I detest someone using me just to get a paycheck anyway.

I'm still cranky.  It took forever to fall asleep last night.  I still have dark circles under my eyes and my under eye cream is working overtime to try to lighten them.  Its failing of course.

My throat is sore, my nose is stuff, my head is stuffed and achey to the point that I had a migraine last night.  My chest is congested and I've been coughing.  Yes, I've wrecked my immune system all because I got stressed out.  Give me a week or two and I'll feel better.  Good thing I've got groceries and stamps on hand.  Stamps so that I can write to my husband.  Groceries are more obvious.  Still I should get in the car and drive it a bit so that the tires don't go flat.  Maybe in a day or two.  For now it can sit there.

I spent four hours on the lawn last night.  We, our neighborhood, finally got notice that the construction is almost complete and we can start watering our lawns once again.  The sod that was put down is now curling up and dried out.  My front lawn is brown.  So today I'll be back at it.  After it gets mowed on the green spots on Friday I'll be back out there with fertilizer and seed.  Not much use for the moss out right now as the rain has stopped for almost a week.

I did dream a bit last night.  I remember two dreams involving a fluffy grey kitten.  I guess I really want a kitten bad.  But because we are still trying to conceive a cat is just not in the picture.  No one to change the litter box.

Well I need to get back to the salt mine.  I'm still working on that blanket for charity.  All the handwoven yarn squares are now sewn together.  I'm down to the crocheted edge on the queen sized blanket.  Not much longer now.  I'll rest more when I'm dead.  Just kidding.

Merry Christmas

The skies are grey with clouds and I have my doubts that Rudolph will be able to find his way tonight unless it clears soon.  Maybe Old Saint Nick will refuse to deliver in the rain as he prefers the white fluffy snow.  He is an older fellow and the cold rain probably hurts his arthritic joints.  But some how he always leaves a gift or two under the tree for me and if I'm really good something in my stocking to make me feel like a kid once again.  Must be he does have a lot of elves helping him out.

Every year I wonder how the children of the poor, the children that are still waiting to get adopted, or the children that are abused and neglected fair at this time of year.  Would a toy give them more joy than say a warm coat or a hot meal when they've gone without either?

No I'm not trying to put a damper on our buying binges as it is good for the economy and therefore might just present to the parents of children currently without a job a possible job in the coming new year.  What I am thinking is that maybe some of us could learn to pare down our closets a bit.

Being married to the military I have learned that with each new move I must go through all my possessions and clean out.  I've given away to the needy more than one winter coat in good condition.  I don't need a lot though, I some how always collect a lot.  Not to pat myself on the back, but one year I did make a blanket for an auction to benefit the VA Home.  It took me about four months to complete, all hand crocheted.  I shipped it off to North Carolina so that my mom could present it for a fund raiser.  If only my carpal tunnel would behave for a bit I could get back to my charity work.

Maybe this year, since we are headed into what would be our last year, if there is a normal length to a duty station tour, I'll once again start thinning out my closet and my husband's too.  I have plenty of yarn to start another afghan, we'll just see how my hands hold out.

If my readers have extra think about giving some away.  You might find that last minute tax deduction by donating.

If my readers have time, think about helping out someone in need.

Above all, I wish you a very Merry Christmas tonight.  May you all know joy and happiness.