Want vs. Need

Well I've complained often enough about needing a second vehicle.  Do I need one?  Yes.  But all I can find is gas guzzlers in the price range I can afford.

Last night J and I went and looked at an 88 F150 long bed short cab.  Price was good but the style wasn't.  We almost purchased it.  I'm still leaving it up to him.  Do we need a long bed pickup?  Um, no.  Would he have enough room in the cab for his daily stuff?  Um, no.

Seems like a simple enough decision right?  Well it isn't my decision to make.  However, after reading an email I got today I'm not at all sure I'll be wanting to let him make that decision alone.

Government Shutdown is looming.  Before most of you say it won't happen I'd like to point out the fact that we are in a sequester right now.  The government has been cutting our military to the bare bones too with no new equipment and a skeletal crew to police the nation and world.  Come now, we know that our military is now becoming the world's police force and I'm not going to mince words about how that pisses me off.

What a shut down means is said well in the quote from the article: "Servicemembers, meanwhile, were told they would stay on the job, serving a country that temporarily would not be paying them. But officials said troops and civilians alike would eventually receive all back pay.".  Oh and don't think they won't do it.  This administration is adamant about getting what they want at any cost to its people.

Their "eventually receive all back pay" is similar to their get a government credit card and put all your moving expenses on it and we'll eventually pay you back but you are still responsible for all charges and interest rates and it might ruin your credit rating while we get around to paying you back for the move.  Yes, again I'm miffed that they have been trying to force a government credit card on my husband.  We don't need it thank you very much.  I'd rather lay out all the expenses first and know they are paid for without having to worry about how it is going to get paid back and when they finally do cut us a check I can invest it rather than pay late charges that aren't covered.

So right now that need of a second vehicle has turned into a want and I can't justify the want.  It will have to wait.

Military Spouse Appreciation Day

Today is Military Spouse Appreciation Day. 
 

I wish all the military spouses out there a happy day and hope that you are truly appreciated.

Gay and Lesbian Marriage

Yes I'm going there.  I think gays and lesbians should be allowed to married their partners and have all the same rights as a heterosexual couple.  Aren't we all allowed the same according to the Declaration of Independence?  "Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness".

I like the idea of creating more families.  I like that I am opened minded enough to not judge someone else because of their sexual preference.  I mean really does it matter to me who they love?  No.  So why should I pass judgement upon them?  I shouldn't and I won't.

I  like how Obama has decided that he will support gay marriage. However I don't like how the House Armed Services Committee banned gay marriage on the military installations.  Read more at the link below:
 http://www.military.com/news/article/obama-gay-marriage-stand-spurs-ndaa-amendments.html?ESRC=eb.nl 

"On the same day that President Barack Obama declared support for gay marriage members of the House Armed Services Committee included in the Defense bill for next year measures intended to prevent gay marriages from taking place on military bases.
One amendment to the National Defense Authorization Act  provides “conscience protections” for chaplains whose religious beliefs and sponsoring agency are opposed to homosexuality and gay unions. Another amendment states that no base chapel shall be used for gay marriage or marriage-like ceremonies."

Feel free to tell me how you feel one way or the other.  If you want to vent in your comments just make sure you aren't being vulgar and I'll post it.

*Please note that I realize that my blog post have been sorely lacking in grammar and punctuation correction.  The intellectual content hasn't been the best either and I can only blame the pain I am in as the source of my bad blogging.

Tossed Away

Soldiers are being tossed away like a Kleenex; used for a few good blows and forgotten never to be the same.

I say the above because our military men and women who have fought so valiantly for our freedom are being used for their man power to blow away, blow up,  and blow through conflicts.  After the blowing is done they are traumatized, many of them at least feel the after shocks of what they were ordered to do.

I'm angry.  When a service member is sent off to war they come back with more than just physical scars.  They come back changed mentally.   This is hitting close to home for me now.  Too close.  When they try to get help they are shunned, told they are just trying to get out of doing what they signed up to do in the first place, which is deploy.  Okay so yes they did sign up as their primary MOS (military occupational specialty) to tote a rifle about and kill as necessary but they do have other jobs that they trained for and are good at.

The military medical system needs a complete overhaul.  When a service member goes into counseling they are told that they will not be ratted out unless they are considered a danger to themselves or someone else.   They are not supposed to be ratted out for saying stupid things like they hate a co-worker.  However, it does happen as of this month because of the killings in Afghanistan.  Before you know it the service member is being told that their career is over and they'll be discharged.  Why?  Well I'll tell you why!  Because the system doesn't work.  Instead of giving the individual the confidence and trust in their therapist they live in fear that if they say the wrong thing they get ratted out.  So they go in angry, balled up fist and knotted up stomachs afraid to utter one word that could be used against them.  The therapist clues in on the body language and makes note of it to report later that the individual is hostile.  No they don't report that it could be related to combat stress or PTSD because if they did it would mean money.  And no they don't report that the body language could be due in part from the fear of being what they saying being misconstrued and reported.

Yes it all comes down to the almighty fricken dollar folks.  The military does not want to pay out to help the service member that is broken, even though they became broken while in the service.    Just this year a higher ranking soldier was asked to step down from this installation, on which I live, because he decided that those with the diagnosis of PTSD didn't deserve it so he took away the diagnosis.  WHY?  Well he was saving the government money in the present and future.  A diagnosis of PTSD means that the government will have to continue treatment for that individual for the rest of their life.  If the diagnosis is taking away the person can be forced to deploy.

Now I wonder, did that happen to the guy that went on the "rampage" in Afghanistan?  He was from this installation.  Could it have been prevented?  Probably.  So yes, I'm really angry. 

Perhaps if our service men and women felt more comfortable and able to trust the therapists here on our installation they might just open up.  Here they think of only one thing:  WHEN CAN WE DEPLOY THEM AGAIN?!  That was until the 16 were killed in Afghanistan.  Now its becoming a rat fest.  The therapists are ratting out their patients for anything and everything ending careers for no good reason other than the usual facetious remark about a co-worker because the soldier was in a bad mood.  When you in the civilian sector have those days are you really going to go off your co-worker?   I doubt it.  But here on the military installation, well its just nuts now.  They are getting way over protective which doesn't help with the situation either.  Now they are just inundating  the mental health providers with  low risk/no risk cases.

I guess this is just another way to meet the quota that Obama has set for less troops.  Get rid of the fatties then get rid of any one that chooses to make an off hand remark that can be misconstrued but all means Obama keep the psycho!  See I can be facetious too.  Great now someone is going to lock me up for speaking my mind right?

Scandalous

It never ceases to amaze me what I will think of next when taking a shower.  This particular shower, this particular morning I had quite a bit of clarity while in the shower.  I was even able to think of a book topic. 

Oh the topic I'm sure has been done to death.  But its my topic, I know what went on and when and I know what its like to live it.

I was thinking of the scandals that occur in small town life.  I've lived in a few small towns in my lifetime.  I've become part of their community through various organizations.  In every one I was privy to scandal.  Not that I was the cause of it or the witness to everything first hand, no but I was aware.  Sometimes I did nothing, sometimes I stood up and said something.

When I stood up I did get knocked back down, put in my place as a female of no accord and thought to be silly, flighty, and an instigator.  Small towns are often backward places where the women folk are still barefoot and pregnant as teens through menopause and if they aren't something is wrong with their man.  Where the women folk are seen only when the food is to be prepared, sex is required of them, or they are needed as beasts of burden.  In today's society how can this be still happening in America?  Well it is.  Often we turn our back to it since its so painful to look upon.

Men are not the enemy but often they are the troublemakers in the small towns.  Its not the anonymous one that create the violence like is heard about in the big cities.  In the small towns it could be and often is a person that has a position in the town.  Quite possibly a neighbor, not necessarily an estranged from the community sort but the one that is looked at as a role model.   You can't tell what is lurking behind closed doors until you are invited in.   Abuse of authority is not unheard of but it is often ignored.

Case in point, a former fire chief and military veteran often cheats on his wife and she turns a blind eye to the matter until one day she snaps and confronts her husband's current lover.  The lover, who has been more of a friend to the man than a sexual partner breaks off the affair only to have this so called friend rape her a year later.  When the former lover presses charges after getting a rape kit done she is advised to drop the case because of the man's position in the community.  Little did the  community know that this wasn't the first time this guy has done a violent sex act to a woman.  Doubtful it would be his last either; but this man escaped justice because of the small town ethics.

Second case in point another former firefighter and military veteran beats his wife to the point she ends up in the hospital.  She presses charges, sues for divorce and the soon to be ex then sues her for emotional damage to him.  Really?  I doubt the man was a victim at any point in that marriage.

Third case in point.  An almost adult, 18 being legal adult, child gets into his parents stash of drugs and goes crazy.  He kills both of his parents. One parent had jail time for some long forgotten crime.   Small town ethic ignore the fact that the parents were drug users and the town mourns the parents as if they were heroes.  The child is jailed and finally sent to prison.

Small towns are often idealized by literature and television.  There is usually just as much per capita of violence if not more because most of it is hushed up.

Now what do we do about it?  Do we go into the towns and proselytize?  Do we go in with our pamphlets for domestic abuse, drug abuse, and suicide prevention?  Or do we actually settle in these towns and educate them on how to recognize the signs and symptoms and learn how to prevent them?  I'm not sure if any of the above would work.  I think that perhaps it will always exist in the small towns and always be swept under the carpet when possible.

These are my opinions.  No names or dates were mentioned in the above.

Sears Makes My List

We all have those lists.  I have one too.  This though is about adding just one more store to the list of ones I will refuse to do business with in the future.  Wal-Mart is already on that list and I can honestly say that I personally haven't done business with them in 18 months.

The day started out good enough.  J was helping out around the house while I was dealing with the cramps from the miscarriage.  Yes, I'm still in pain but that is neither here nor there and I'll just chalk it up to the endo pain.  Back to my story.  J was vacuuming.  My vacuum is a Kenmore and I've always found it to be quite adequate though my spouse finds it rather lacking in suction power on the bare floors.  Well the belt broke yesterday.  So I had to get another one.

J offered to run down to the mall to the Sears store off exit 130 in Tacoma and get me a new belt.  3 hours later he returns with no belt and a lot of frustration. 

Here is where the story gets interesting.  J asked a store clerk for some assistance in finding the part he needed.  Not only did my spouse write down the vacuum model and part number but he also took the broken belt with him to the store.  The clerk said, without looking, that they didn't carry the part in the store.  She tells him to go to the computer and order it for himself there.  Nice huh?  She didn't even try to look it up for him.

J goes over to the computer and looks up the part number himself.  He clicks on the appropriate items and tries to find out the shipping charges before purchasing the items.  It wouldn't let him.  After he has "paid" for the item it then gives him the total.  He calls me and tells me about the outrageous $8 shipping fee on just one belt and one light bulb.  Really it came to just under $18 with shipping for the parts.  I went online to another place and was able to find the same stuff with not one belt in the pack but two for a total of $11.65 including the shipping.  I told him to cancel the order.

This is where the hours slip by.  J tried really hard to get someone to help him cancel the order. Not only did the store manager on duty tell him that he couldn't help him but he told him that they couldn't cancel the order.  Yeah right, um I used to work for Sears and that is a bunch of BS!

I called up our bank and had them file a purchase dispute.  I hope this goes through.  I explained to my bank what happened and they assured me that the order could have been easily canceled but that Sears obviously didn't want to comply.

When J got home we went to his email and found the purchase order.  I followed up with Sears online and emailed them with the appropriate information asking them to cancel the order.  Hopefully it will be done without too much fuss.

So the real reason why I refuse to shop at Sears ever again is because the quality of customer assistance sucks!  Not only do the employees act helpless, they don't want to help and will walk away.  Seriously all they had to do was call their warehouse in Tacoma and ask if they had the part there.  Now I have to wait this all out for up to 90 days.  Thankfully this isn't the only vacuum we own.  I will never buy from Sears again in my lifetime if I can help prevent doing so.

Sears you are akin to Wal-mart in my book.  For shame.  You, Sears, who claim to support our troops actually don't.  Sure you run that once a year "Holiday" type contest to help out select few first come first serve troops but the funds aren't actually coming out of your pockets but from others from what I read. 

Sears you might have been my first job out of high school and you might have taught me that the customer comes first and is always right but I dare say you forgot that yesterday.  Thanks for nothing.

Oh for those of you that are family minded take note that Sears Online  used to sell pornographic DVDs!

Missing Blog Makes Me A Cranky Writer

I thought that all was well yesterday when I posted my blog in support of National Fibromyalgia Awareness Day.  However, within a few hours my friends were posting on my facebook that they couldn't read my blog post and it was not in existence.  I had no problem finding it.

Today when I went to check on my comments, stats, and blog posts I found that yesterday's blog post is not to be found.  In fact I get an error code.  It doesn't even show up on my list of postings.

Oh this makes me cranky.  Yesterday wasn't a good day for me with my cognitive abilities.  I tried really hard to make a coherent post and now to find that it has been taken away into the vast void makes me cranky.

I realize that I'm not the only one it effected but I am the one that matters most to myself, I should be at least if I am to love myself and others truly.  I noticed that the blogs that I follow closely aren't listed.  I wonder if they were able to blog at all either.  If they were, what happened to their blogs?  I wanted to read their blog postings yesterday.  I saw nothing but a statement saying that blogspot was unavailable.

Well I guess its a good thing that I didn't decide to monetize my blog this week.  Oh its on the agenda but I was preparing to do it next month.  I figured that I now have enough views daily for someone to want to click on a link.  I do not want to turn my blog into a show for products and lose the original purpose of this blog, the therapeutic aspect.   I'm not one that likes commercials nor do I like to read blogs all about a certain product.  I want real life, real thoughts, real reactions to situations.  I don't give a rat's behind what toothpaste, dish soap, body wash, laundry detergent, or tampon you are using unless you are blogging to warn us potential users that we should stay away from said product due to its hazards.  Seriously if I wanted to watch a commercial I'd turn on the television or log on to Hulu.

I do like to read about  your infertility problems, medical issues, military life dilemmas, and anything else that might relate to my own life experiences.  I'd love to learn new techniques to scrap book, knit, crochet, paint, renovate, photograph, cook and bake.  I'm the hands on type person that wants to live life.  If I see something that interests me enough I'll give it a good try.

So friends I really did miss having the chance to read your blog postings yesterday.  I feel closer to each of you than the fake friends that often surround me, though thankfully not too often.  We all have those type of friends that just use us.

I'm going to keep stating my opinion as I see fit to do so within the boundaries set forth as a military wife.  Oh we do have our own unwritten code of conduct.  I'm not going to blog about anything that might embarrass myself or my spouse and his unit.

Blogspot, please find my missing post.