Last night I had two nightmares. The first one woke me up and if I wasn't screaming in real life I know I was in my dream. In my dream I was pregnant with twins, I've been pregnant with twins in real life too, and my family and friends were throwing me a shower. I'm not the party type and usually don't like to be the center of attention. All of a sudden my friends were gone. I was left with my mom, dad and brother. My mom and my brother were destroying everything in sight while my dad was holding me back from stopping them. They were yelling at me and telling me that I didn't deserve to have a child. My pregnant belly started to shrink like a balloon that had just been unknotted. Of course that made me scream.
Second nightmare was that I was trying to adopt an older child. Maybe the sandy haired kid was about the age of 7 or 8. He was into everything that J and I both liked and then some. The kid was a perfect match for us. Of course the adoption fell through and we were devastated.
I haven't told J about either of the dreams. He knows that I have issues with my own family from all the abuse. Luckily I did have a session scheduled for this morning with my psychologist. I told her everything. Its really understandable for me to have these dreams from what she said. It just doesn't make it any easier knowing that I have them and will probably continue to have them for a while to come.
I hate when my fears become nightmares.
How do you, my followers, cope?
Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry. Nightmares are so hard. Usually mine are from underlying feelings and thoughts. That makes it even more difficult.
ReplyDeleteHope you have some pleasant dreams soon.
Me too for the pleasant dreams. I know that most of the time the nightmares are from something that triggers those feelings.
DeleteI know I have suffered with reoccuring nightmares since I was about five years old due to abuse. Im not really sure hope to cope, I think over time it gets a little easier to deal with. Many years ago these nightmares were so tramatizing. I hope you can get through this.
ReplyDeleteIt does get easier, that is true. Counseling helps for the most part. Its just my fears getting the best of me right now. That and my monthly is due any day.
DeleteThose nightmares do sound scray and upsetting. Glad you were able to talk it through with your psychologist.
ReplyDeleteI don't have much to contribute in terms of coping because my dreams/nightmares are usually linked to something I may have watched on TV or something that happened in the course of the day.
The television is sometimes a trigger for me as well.
DeleteStill thinking of you. So sorry for the nightmares. I really don't have any advice, I tried to cope by doing things that made me stop thinking... home repairs, yard work, working with my hands, anything to turn my mind off.
ReplyDeleteIn the middle of the night, when J is still here, I don't think he'd be too happy with the MP's showing up because I was mowing the lawn and disturbing the peace. But the lawn does need to be mowed! LOL
DeleteWhen I have bed dreams, I snuggle closer to Sam. That helps. And he usually snuggles back...awake or asleep.
ReplyDeleteWish I could make it all better for you!
Snuggling next to J doesn't help when the dreams are really violent.
DeleteThey sound horrible. I don't have many nightmares (touching wood - fnar) but have crazy vivid twisted dreams that I'm not going into. My friend once told me if she were me she's be afraid to go to sleep for the content of my dreams. The way I see it there's the usual dreams with really freaky content but no emotion/feeling, then there's the dreams that you're really upset/afraid, maybe the content is something really tame - they're the ones that upset me.
ReplyDeleteNicest dream I had last night - I was at a fair where each stall had cakes from all around the world, free for sampling. I'd started walking round the fair and got through three cakes before I woke up - was GUTTED - there were heaps of cakes yet to eat!
Mmmm..cake!
DeleteYou have a lot of stuff going on in our life, with your husband being in the military, deployment, trying to make babies, being infertile, having Endo... Your brain is going crazy at night, lol. I don't mean to giggle, but your brain does what mine does when it gets stressed. Although mine usually turn into cosmic dreams, or end of the world dreams... they get pretty crazy sometimes. I hope you can get some better rest!!
ReplyDeleteI love to dream. Often its the reason why I want to go to sleep. However, just before my monthly starts so do the nightmares.
DeleteI am so sorry :( When I have bad dreams, it really helps to talk about them. Often then, they don't reoccur.
ReplyDeleteTalking does really help me release the bad energy of the dreams. I still had another last night but it wasn't as violent.
DeleteI'm so sorry about the nightmares. I've been having them lately, too, I think because of the progesterone I'm on. Like HRF, I think talking about them takes away some of their power and scariness.
ReplyDeleteI went off the endometrin earlier this week because of a negative pregnancy test on 13DPO. I did a clomid cycle with no IUI. Its now 17 DPO and still no signs of my period starting. However, I usually do get nightmares before it starts.
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