Violence is scary. Violence does breed more violence. It terrorizes those that will deploy and those that have deployed that will come home. Nightmares of the "what could happen" and "what did happen" will haunt our servicemen and women.
Rage and terror. A few can't handle leaving or coming home. A few won't make it there or back. Suicides and domestic violence escalate before and after deployments. Violence wins.
I'm one of the lucky ones. I'm lucky because if J and I have a marriage issue we sit down and discuss it. We continue to keep our marriage strong by using marriage counseling which is offered free of charge to service members through our insurance. I just wish more servicemen and women were willing to take advantage of these services offered. Maybe a few more innocent people wouldn't get hurt. No there aren't enough counselors and appointments are hard to get but if its urgent you can get in to see a chaplain the same day before something you'll regret might happen.
Our service men and women are tired of fighting wars that can't be won. Wars that seem to have no end. Then they go home to find that the war is still raging on in their minds and now they are supposed to transition to a family life. Every service member is supposed to have a physical and mental evaluation before leaving to be with their families. It amounts to a survey. Those surveys get stacked and only a few are seen and read clearly. Surveys go unnoticed for months and sometimes years leaving the ticking time bombs to wreak havoc on the community.
Fear. I wonder if perhaps one of the reasons why our servicemen and women aren't getting the help that they might need is because of fear. There is a stigma that is placed on those that seek out help. They are often called weak. There are bullies in the military just as much as there are on the playground. Rank does not discriminate when it comes to bullies. Sometimes a soldier will ask for help and not get it at all because someone else determines it wouldn't be cost effective to give them help or it might look like a blight upon their unit percentages. For whatever the reason the serviceman or woman doesn't get the proper care that they need to handle their situation.
It could very well also be that the serviceman or woman is afraid that they will get discharged from the service. A dishonorable discharge does not make it easy for a person to get a job in the civilian sector. But tell me what is worse, going out on a killing spree and ending up either in jail or dead or getting the help that you need?
Don't get me wrong folks. I love our military. I love the freedoms that they have fought so hard to get us. But I don't like how our military is treated when they get back home or are in theatre. They shouldn't be bullied into not getting mental help if they feel like they need it. They shouldn't be told that they can't make appointments because they have to work a particular shift. If they need help and ask for it they should be listened to!
Sorry I'm ranting. I'm upset. Its just a big mess right now and I'm afraid of the aftermath from a few incidents. I'm tired of hearing of more injured or dead.
I thought of you and your husband first thing when I heard the news. All of our service men are in greater danger over there because of this incident. I thought "maybe now they will start bringing our brave soldiers home." I don't think it's a war we can win, and they are already talking about how they can safely phase it out. I hope that this moves things faster. Also, I don't think that we spend enough money on our soldiers when they come home. I know that the VA hospital here in my state was in dire straights, just as an example. We need to stop giving our service personal lip service and give them real support, both at home and abroad.
ReplyDeleteWhen I lived on the East Coast I actually used a VA hospital, and let me tell you the care they get there is horrible. My assigned endocrinologist used his exam table as a place to put his briefcase and coat. Not once did he take my vitals or touch me. He only complained that I was too young to have any of the problems that I have. If that is the type of care that our veterans are getting I think we should re-vamp the system.
DeleteDamn straight! They sent in a photo journalist, and the facility was atrocious. And that was just the hospital in itself, not how badly they were treated.
DeleteI'm so glad you have such an open line of communication. In eastern NC there are several military bases so we hear the 'horror stories' of service members who come back from combat and can not deal with their new reality. The local news reports all too often that a soldier has beaten or killed a loved one. Unfortunately, they weren't able to find the support they needed to transition from war-mode to being a family man again. I pray that you are both able to keep communicating with each other...good and bad. Understand that you may not always like what the other has to say, but let yourselves realize it's a legitimate feeling and it's part you what makes you, you. Please know that you have people who care about you and will be here for you while J is deployed. Hopefully this will bring him some comfort while he is away.
ReplyDeleteIf its one thing J and I do the most its talk. I always go to him when something is bothering me and he to me. If its something that is particularly prickly of an issue then we discuss it with our marriage counselor.
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