Day 3 We'll See

Yesterday you might recall that I baked Wheat Bran Dinner Rolls.  Yummy though they were I was really glad to have on hand the herb of peppermint.  I needed that tea in the worst way.

Oh I ate three of the rolls yesterday for my meals and not much else.  My stomach expanded and it was hurting to get anything else in there with all the belching and acid reflux.  The tea did help as I had my dental cleaning to go to last night and I really didn't want the stench of vomit in my mouth when the dental hygienist had her face so close to mine.

My pelvis hurt more than my digestive tract yesterday.  I finally got a call back from the RE nurse in the late afternoon.  She said I can talk about it all with the doctor, as in you'll have to wait until the WTF appointment, and I was to expect this period to be so painful.  But that if I have a fever, I don't mind you, that they would see me right away.  As for pain relief she said if I have anything left from the egg retrieval to use it.  Thankfully I do have some left.

When sitting in the dental chair last night the pain was bad.  The dentist was tying to not make me laugh but I did and it hurt my pelvic region.  I knew sleeping was going to be interesting.  By the way, no cavities.

I waited until bed time last night, after a scalding hot bath to decide to use the narcotics.  I was hoping the tub would ease my pain.  It helped with the gas bubbles in my stomach and I did belch a lot more.  Why is it always the small intestine and stomach that hurt when I eat bread?  But I did end up taking two of the pills in the night.  I spaced them out.  I didn't sleep much because the pain broke through several times.  Poor J didn't get much sleep last night I think I kept him up with my groaning and complaining.

Today its a bit better.  The indigestion is still bad.  I had one dinner roll at 0500 hrs with J.  I just had another for a "real" breakfast with a glass of juice.   The icy fingers are already creeping up my throat to clamp down.  I swear its like a cold burning sensation if that makes any sense.  I really can't explain it any better than that.

I was going to make oatmeal cookies today but laundry prevails.  I have a load to finish up still and put away.  Plus from the photo above you can see I still need to plow through the rest of the home baked goods, with J's help of course, before they get stale.  Maybe in a few days I'll make something with oatmeal in it.  Cookies are a bit high in sodium so I'll try to find a lower sodium recipe before I conclude that would be the best use of my oatmeal.

Oh and I've lost 0.2 lbs now.  Not much.  Not exercising.  My clothes are getting tighter too.  I want my stomach swelling to go now.

Busy Equals Happy

Its Monday so I'm burning my candle at both ends today.

First thing was to get my lazy broken butt out of bed so that I could shower.  With that part done it was time to turn the computer on and get some breakfast.

Somehow between making breakfast and getting the computer going I was able to get one load of laundry into the  washer and the ingredients out for the three dozen peanut butter cookies I'm making.

I have an FRG meeting tomorrow night after two other meetings and I planned on having cookies with me to place on the dessert table.  We were required to bring a dessert with us if we go to the meeting.  No potluck this time, no its going to a sugar fest.

So with the second load of laundry now in the washer I finally have time for a high test cup of tea.  Not much longer now and I'll be giving up that delicious drug called caffeine.  I think when I start the shots I'll shelve my tea.  Until then its a caffeine rush baby!

I heard from an online company about the position, unpaid, of book reviewer.  Thank you Nicki for asking them about me.  I don't think I'll get to the most recent book as my computer software isn't liking the download format and I didn't get the message until this morning after it was sent last evening about the deadline for the next paper version of the upcoming novel to review.  Eventually I'll get on track with this company and soon I'll be writing book reviews.

I like living a busy life.  Today when I manage to find time I'll be fixing the tree skirt that has slowly been losing its beads and sequin accents over the years.  Each year I say to myself that I'll take care of it as soon as the tree is taken down.   This year I actually got out the sequins, beads and thread colors; so I have ambition.  Its a project I could presumably do from my recliner of an evening; it might end up just being that late too when I hit that particular project.

My back, so far this morning, is behaving.  Yay!  We'll see how it is at the end of the day.

Yesterday I did manage to get out of the house and do some light shopping at the McChord Exchange.  I figured since I found a great deal on jeans at the Lewis Exchange I'd check out the Air Force Base across the street too.

I saved more than I spent.  Big discounts.  I even managed to put away two Christmas gifts for this year already.  I purchased three shirts and one pair of pajama bottoms for my new figure.  Its so nice to now being wearing a L without the X in front of it.

Not to fear of me being too stupid.  I realize that when I get pregnant I'll need larger clothing but with my weight loss I have that covered since I still have all my larger size clothing.  But its just so nice to know that when I do get pregnant I can shop in more stores and have more clothing options.  I dread the tent sized clothing like you wouldn't believe.  I like my clothing to fit me, not look like I'm a total slob like some of the maternity clothes I've seen would do to a figure.  I mean really, at my age one would think I've learned how to dress myself in something other than a Mu-Mu. 

Baking Warms More Than The Heart...

...It also warms the hearth and home.  I got home from my DBT class today and the house was a rather chilly 64 F.  I have the thermostat set for 63 F.  I'm trying to lessen my footprint on this earth where I can.

So I decided I would use the oven to make my lunch of two corn tortillas and a baked potato.  Potatoes are low sodium and high potassium foods plus the corn tortillas I baked were only 5 mg of sodium.  I get a full stomach and good for me food.

I couldn't justify turning the oven on for such a small thing as my lunch and using the microwave draws even more electricity than you'd think.  The oven being gas is a gem to cook and bake with.  So, I'm baking white bread today.  Only 8 mg of sodium per slice in this particular recipe. 

I have no idea how its going to turn out as I've never used this recipe before.  For all I know I will have wasted all those ingredients but its still worth the experiment plus my house gets heated for the afternoon.

  As my dough is still rising the above photo is what I hope it will look like.  Below you can find the recipe I used and modified of course.  I used olive oil instead of spray oil to oil the bowl and loaf pans plus I used the olive oil in the recipe where it states vegetable oil.

BASIC WHITE BREAD

1/4 cup lukewarm water
2 TBSP acceptable vegetable oil
2   1/4 ounce packages of active dry yeast
6 cups all purpose flour, divided use plus more as needed
1 3/4 cups fat free milk                                                     
3 TBSP sugar                                                       
Vegetable oil spray

Pour water into a large bowl.  Add yeast and stir to dissolve.  Let stand for 5 minutes until mixture bubbles.

Stir milk, sugar, and oil into yeast mixture.

Gradually stir 4 cups flour into yeast mixture.  Beat with a sturdy spoon for about 30 seconds, or until smooth.

Gradually add up to 1 1/2 cups flour, about 1/4 cup at a time, stirring after each addition, until dough starts to pull away from side of bowl.

Lightly four a flat surface; turn dough out onto floured surface.  Gradually knead in remaining flour for  6 to 8 minutes, or until dough is smooth and elastic.  (Dough shouldn't be dry or stick to surface.  You may not need all the four, or you may need up to 1/2 cup more if dough is too sticky.)

Lightly spray a large bowl with vegetable oil spray.  Put dough in a bowl and turn to coat all sides.  Cover bowl with a damp dish towel and let dough rise in a warm, draft-free place (about 85 F) until doubled in bulk, about 1 hour.

Punch down dough.  Divide in half and shape into loaves.  Lightly spray two 10x5x3 inch loaf pans with vegetable oil spray.  Pout dough into loaf pans.  Cover each with a damp dish towel and let dough rise in a warm, draft-free place ( about 85 F ) until doubled in bulk, about 30 minutes.

Preheat oven to 425 F.

Bake loaves for 25 to 30 minutes, or until bread registers 190 F on a instant-read thermometer or sounds hollow when rapped with knuckles.  Invert  bread on cooling racks.  Let cool for 15 to 20 minutes before cutting.

Serving size 1 slice
Calories 103
Protein 3 g
Carbohydrates 20 g
Cholesterol 0 mg
Total Fat 1 g
  Saturated 0 g
  Polyunsaturated 0 g
  Monounsaturated 1 g
Fiber 1 g
Sodium 8 mg
Potassium 56 mg
Calcium  20 mg

Starting Over

Today was my first counseling session with my new psychologist.  I did an intake appointment last week Friday with a psychologist but she wasn't the one I'd be seeing today.  No, she was just the one who determined the professional I'd be a best fit for.

I figured because of all the abuse I had received in my childhood I'd best go see a counselor again.  Its been a few years since I've done a tune up on my DBT skills.

The IVF cycle is already gnawing away at my patience.  I start the injections in just a few days.  I'm not sure how its going to affect my moods as the birth control already gives me migraines.  So with that said I made the appointment, went to it and to the follow up.  I'm now signed up for the 6 week refresher course on my DBT skills.  As long as I remember to daily work on my skills I should be able to get through the remainder of this IVF cycle without too many tantrums.

DBT is Dialectical Behavior Therapy.  Which really is just a set of techniques used for coping with situations.  Say I want something but I don't think I deserve the item.  I need to take a few minutes to rationalize just why I don't think I deserve the said item.  If I don't deserve the item for reasons such as: its way out of my price range, I've already bought myself a reward or someone needs something more with the money I'd spend on the said item I have to think about it more.  Do I really want it?  Why do I think I don't deserve to treat myself to the item?  Am I putting too many others above my own self and am I devaluing my own self worth by doing so?

More examples would be how I manage my anger.  I have a temper.  There I've said it.  But who am I hurting by letting my temper rule?  Me or others or both?  I could have a temper tantrum without regard to who I hurt but, it would be better and more productive to think more rationally with explaining why I'm angry.  Its not easy though, we all know that.  It is easy though to just let the shit fly.

It does go deeper than just the two examples.  I've pulled out my notebook from my last workshop on the subject.  It goes back almost 10 years.  Just one more reason why I need to refresh my skills.

Well enough about this.  I'm hungry and tired and I need to get those cookies baked.  After all it is Wednesday and I always like to have baked goods to give to the soldiers my husband works with for their Thursday treat.  Three hours sleep means I'd best get them baked so I can take a nap too.  I can shovel food into my mouth and do my baking too.  I'm particularly good at that multitasking exercise.

Celtic Soda Bread

I made bread last night.  I found a new recipe in a newsletters and I adapted it to fit my needs thus making a whole new recipe of my own.

The photo is the bread I made.  J just loves it.  Its great toasted with butter.

Now for the recipe.  I call it Celtic Soda Bread.

Celtic Soda Bread

Preheat oven to 350 F.

Grease and flour a loaf pan.



In a large bowl combine the following dry ingredients:
3 cups all purpose flour
1/2 cup white sugar
2 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. baking soda
1/2 cup raisins
1/2 cup craisins (dried cranberries)

Mix well until the raisins and craisins are coated and separated as we'd rather there not be too many lumps of fruit together, however it does happen occasionally. 

In a separate bowl mix together with a wire whisk the following wet ingredients:
1 egg
2 TBSP olive oil
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 1/2 cups of buttermilk   ***(buttermilk can be made using 1 1/2 cups regular milk plus the addition of 1 TBSP plus 2 tsp of white vinegar.  Its best to do this in a glass measuring cup and let it set a bit to curdle before adding to the other wet ingredients)

Make a well (hole) in the center of the dry ingredients in the large bowl.  Pour into the dry ingredients the wet ingredients.  Stir gently until well blended.   Pour into the greased and floured loaf pan.  Bake at 350 F for 1 hour and 15 minutes (75 minutes) until golden brown.  Immediately turn out of loaf pan onto a wire rack and let cool.

Wonderful the next day for breakfast toasted with a bit of butter or jam.

Baking Day Again

Its that time of the week again where I bake cookies for the soldiers.  Today I'm going to make the Reese's Chewy Chocolate cookies made with the peanut butter chips.  The soldiers at the COF love these cookies.

Today I also plan on making J a pizza from scratch.  Last week I made up the dough for two pizzas and froze one ball along with the sauce I made.  So right now its sitting there waiting for his phone call stating that he is ready for dinner.  He really loves his pepperoni, red pepper and onion topping pizza and I can't wait to make it for him. 

Tomorrow I should have plenty of time to make the lasagna I've been promising to make for him.  I found a perfect recipe in one of my cook books and I can't wait to try it out on him. 

After a rotten day like yesterday I'm really looking forward to a few days of major baking and cooking.  Yesterday I realized that I need to let this respite care worker go.  I can't continue to employe this person when I don't get the work done that needs to be done.   My respite care worker has been sewing for years and some claim that her stuff is quite good, I now have to disagree.  Anyone can operate an embroidery machine but it takes true talent to embroider by hand.

I only needed the dress fitted to me yesterday.  As  I put it on and she pulls it in place to make sure its where I want it and never pinned the dressed only eyed it with her thumbs for judgement.  Wow did that go wrong.  Basically she butchered my dress.  She cut off the fabric and sewed it up without having me try it on in-between the sewing and cutting.  I got to try it on after the damage, then she would try to fix it again, four fittings later I gave up.  She had cut way too much out the first time and ruined the dress.  If only she would have listened to me and pinned it the first time around then basted, but what do I know?!.  I know full well she shouldn't have thumbed it but should have pinned it and basted it before the final cutting and sewing.  I've been sewing since I was 4 years old.  My mom has quite a bit of pride in my fine stitching as do I.  She claims that my sewing is even better than her's.  Makes my head swell a bit.

So when the dress was finished the respite care worker had cut the right arm hole one inch smaller than the left and there was nothing remaining to let out.  The left arm is bunched at the top now.  She actually told me to take an iron to it.  Um, NO!  An iron would melt the polyester organza material.  The front of the dress where the jewels are set into the empire waist are now pulled to the right.  I screamed after she left.  My cousin, L, was very understanding when I was chatting with her on the phone.  She said that I should have the person pay for the damages done to the gown.  Its very ill-fitting now. 

I think the hard part of this whole experience is that I thought I could trust this person to do her job that she gets paid $20 an hour to do.  But now I know better.  She was on the phone while sewing and I think that is part of the problem.  Seriously if you are getting paid to do a job and it means using your hands and full concentration why should you be on the cell phone?

My husband has a leather jacket at her house right now that he said he wants to get it back before she ruins it.  She has had it since Easter and said she would fix the zipper in it for him.  We will find another person that can work with leather.  We have a nice shop in town that fixes just that sort of stuff.  Funny I could get the jacket zipped up just fine without the zipper going off track.  If need be I'll pick it apart reset the zipper and sew it back up with my leather needles.

I thought a respite care worker was supposed to take care of me and not demand that I make her tea.  According to the rules I'm not supposed to be waiting on her, she is supposed to be doing the tasks set forth for her.  I give up.  This respite care program here has been a big failure.

Today is going to be a much needed baking day.  I can throw myself into my work and be quite happy with the results.  No one is around to bother me while I'm baking either.  I have the house to myself for the next few hours and I plan on getting stuff done.


Here is the recipe for the cookies:

Chewy Chocolate Cookies

Skill Level:

Beginner

Prep Time:

20 Minutes

Nutrition Info

Ingredients

• 2 cups all-purpose flour
• 3/4 cup HERSHEY'S Cocoa
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1-1/4 cups (2-1/2 sticks) butter or margarine, softened
• 2 cups sugar
• 2 eggs
• 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
• 1-2/3 cups (10-oz. pkg.) REESE'S Peanut Butter Chips

Directions

1. 1 Heat oven to 350°F. Stir together flour, cocoa, baking soda and salt; set aside.
   
2. 2 Beat butter and sugar in large bowl with mixer until fluffy. Add eggs and vanilla; beat well. Gradually add flour mixture, beating well. Stir in peanut butter chips. Drop by rounded teaspoons onto ungreased cookie sheet.
   
3. 3 Bake 8 to 9 minutes. (Do not overbake; cookies will be soft. They will puff while baking and flatten while cooling.) Cool slightly; remove from cookie sheet to wire rack. Cool completely. About 4-1/2 dozen cookies.
   
   PAN RECIPE: Spread batter in greased 15-1/2x10-1/2x1-inch jelly-roll pan. Bake at 350°F 20 minutes or until set. Cool completely in pan on wire rack; cut into bars. About 4 dozen bars.
   
   ICE CREAM SANDWICHES: Prepare CHEWY CHOCOLATE COOKIES as directed; cool. Press small scoop of vanilla ice cream between flat sides of cookies. Wrap and freeze.
   
   HIGH ALTITUDE DIRECTIONS:
   -- Increase flour to 2 cups plus 2 tablespoons.
   -- Decrease baking soda to 3/4 teaspoon.
   -- Decrease sugar to 1-2/3 cups.
   -- Add 2 teaspoons water with flour mixture.
   -- Bake at 350°F, 7 to 8 minutes. Yield increases to about 6 dozen.