TGIF

I'm so glad it is Friday.  I can't even write about how glad I am it is Friday.

I'm not looking forward to Monday's ultrasound and I should be.  I'm afraid to go and end up with Dr. Saunders again.  That is sad because I should be looking forward to seeing the ultrasounds of my baby.

I managed to lose a pound this week.  I vomited only once but have been very nauseated. I'm actively trying to keep my weight gain to a minimum because I am fat.  The less I gain the better for the pregnancy.

Today we doubled the PIO injection to 2cc/ml.   The injection was done at 0430 hrs as per usual.  I went back to bed at 0530 hrs and had the dickens of a time getting out of bed at 1000 hrs.  I got up tried to make the bed, felt dizzy and laid back down.  30 minutes later I got back up and felt an overwhelming wave of fatigue hit me.  I said to heck with this and got under the covers this time for a one hour nap.

I'm now behind on my water intake for the day because of my extra sleep time this morning.  I'll blame the boost in progesterone.

Did I mention how scared I am of going to the ultrasound and having Saunders?  I know I did.  To make things worse my husband might not be able to go with me.  He did make the appointment for us.  But now his job is taking priorities.  I had a tiff with him about it last night at dinner.  I threatened to leave him.  I'm so sick of this crap where they know he has scheduled appointments and the fact that we are having troubles with one doctors but the Army comes first and family last.  What really sucks is that I have to get lab work done at 0700 hrs and the appointment isn't until 1120 hrs.  No car either if he needs it.  Going to be fun if I have to walk to the blasted appointment in the cold because somehow they can't give him an  hour off to go with me to an appointment.  I'm reasonable.  I told him to drop me off at 0530 hrs at the hospital and I'll get the labs done.  I'll go to the pharmacy and get my meds.  Then he can come back at the appointment time.  He still doesn't think it will work.

Did I tell you I'm a big fat chicken with the thought of having to deal with Dr. Saunders?  Especially since I not only filed an ICE report on her but went to patient advocacy and filed a complaint there yesterday.  I found out that because Saunders is chief of the REI department the ICE report would go across her desk and most likely get ignored.  I mean would you censure yourself or throw out the report if you were in charge and it came across your desk?  Yeah, exactly.

Just waiting for Monday and her to let into me again.  Just what I needed an anxiety filled weekend with my high blood pressure.

Busy, Busy, Busy

Yesterday was a busy day to put it mildly.  Most of you know that I've been really fatigued.  Well I pushed myself.

In the morning I dug up all of my Lemon Balm from one of my front flower beds and transplanted it into two huge planters.  S will be getting one and later as I split up the seedlings and more herbs she'll be getting some of each too.  I have a green thumb and it seems that no matter what I plant grows.  My back is now hurting from the digging and re-potting.

By 1015 hrs J and I were at S's house.  The five of us went antiquing.  S has her own shop in Fife, more a booth if you will and we went there first.  Next stop was the South Tacoma Antique Mall.  This last place was where I purchased some awesome items.  One item I can't mention because its a Christmas gift for a family member.  I know he'll love it.

So with all the walking we did I was aching by the time we finally got home at 1600 hrs. J and I stopped at BK for some late lunch early dinner before heading home.     I had a grilled chicken sandwich and gave J my fries.  Not allowed fries.  Needless to say the food still didn't sit right in my stomach.  I can't win when it comes to food these days.  I'm thinking some of the upset stomach is probably from the progesterone I'm on.  I vacuumed three of the seven rooms in our house and took a non-asprin for a headache when we got home.

1800 hrs finds me shaving the hair off J's head.  Its grown too long and now it needs to be cut.  Out come the clipper.  He says to use the 1/8" .  Okay so no hair huh?  At this point I have a raging headache that the non-asprin I took at 1600 hrs did nothing to fix.

At 1900 hrs I was yawning as I did up all the dishes.  I'm trying to be more Eco friendly.  I used only one small sink full of water to wash 3/4 of a dishwasher full of dishes.  It was an experiment that nearly killed my back and already aching feet.  Not sure I'll be doing it again either.  I'm a wuss.

2000hrs I was crying the pain was horrid.  The pelvic pain started in.  Mind you my feet, back, head and stomach were already voicing their objections.  I passed out on the bed at 2100 hrs and woke up at 2130 hrs. alone, J had decided to sleep in the living room.   I'm guessing that the pain got really bad and my brain said enough.

I have the next five days free from doctor's appointments.  This week I'm going to busy playing catch up on everything I've been neglecting, including me.  Today I'm doing two loads of laundry and hopefully will get the fours rooms I still need to vacuum finished.  I plan on cooking every night this week too and have a menu listed on the white board.  Thank God I have a casserole cook book!  J has been working some odd hours and I never know when to make dinner.

So there, I complained yet again.  I know I'm supposed to take it easy.  I don't think I know how.  Catholic guilt creeps in and reminds me that if I'm not doing something productive I'm letting evil in...idle hands are the devil's something or other that I can't remember.

New Year's Eve

Well this year won't be much different than most years for J and I.  We won't be ringing in the new year at midnight.  Most likely we'll both be fast asleep.  Usually something interferes with our ability to celebrate since he joined the Army.  At least I have him home this year.

J has CQ duty tomorrow all day.  That means he'll be driving the now sober drunks home from jail, well its possible at least as sometimes they have to do that while on CQ duty.

Since I'm sick and J starts his own antibiotics tomorrow we'll not be drinking.  Well okay the CQ duty would again prevent him from having that NYE's drink too.

I have no resolutions for next year.  I really don't believe in making promises that I probably won't be able to keep given that there is a great unknown of 365 days in front of me.  The only thing that I can promise is that I'll try to continue to eat healthy, lose more weight next year, and find a happier me with or without children.

I'm thinking that with my health taking a sudden nose dive of late this truly will be our last cycle of IVF.  I wanted to go ahead with donor eggs this summer if the January IVF failed.  I'm not so sure that will be an option.

More and more I'm finding my chest hurts and my breathing is becoming more difficult.  Its not the weight.  I've lost 24 pounds since August which comes out to 6 pounds a month.  I still have 35 more pounds to go until my goal weight.  So I highly doubt that bit of weight is causing the chest pains and difficulty breathing.  My guess is its the sinusitis.

Today we bought groceries and I was almost breathless just unloading them.  I had to sit on the floor to get my chest to stop hurting and to catch my breath.  No pregnancy for me isn't going to be easy.  But I still want to try.  I can only imagine being pregnant with a sinus infection would put me to bed for a week.

So maybe I can make just "trying" a goal for the new year.  I will continue to try with all that I do because if I give up now I'm doomed to a life of depression and sickness.  Now back to knitting the charity blanket I'm now working on.  Slow progress but its progress nonetheless.