New Year's Eve

Well this year won't be much different than most years for J and I.  We won't be ringing in the new year at midnight.  Most likely we'll both be fast asleep.  Usually something interferes with our ability to celebrate since he joined the Army.  At least I have him home this year.

J has CQ duty tomorrow all day.  That means he'll be driving the now sober drunks home from jail, well its possible at least as sometimes they have to do that while on CQ duty.

Since I'm sick and J starts his own antibiotics tomorrow we'll not be drinking.  Well okay the CQ duty would again prevent him from having that NYE's drink too.

I have no resolutions for next year.  I really don't believe in making promises that I probably won't be able to keep given that there is a great unknown of 365 days in front of me.  The only thing that I can promise is that I'll try to continue to eat healthy, lose more weight next year, and find a happier me with or without children.

I'm thinking that with my health taking a sudden nose dive of late this truly will be our last cycle of IVF.  I wanted to go ahead with donor eggs this summer if the January IVF failed.  I'm not so sure that will be an option.

More and more I'm finding my chest hurts and my breathing is becoming more difficult.  Its not the weight.  I've lost 24 pounds since August which comes out to 6 pounds a month.  I still have 35 more pounds to go until my goal weight.  So I highly doubt that bit of weight is causing the chest pains and difficulty breathing.  My guess is its the sinusitis.

Today we bought groceries and I was almost breathless just unloading them.  I had to sit on the floor to get my chest to stop hurting and to catch my breath.  No pregnancy for me isn't going to be easy.  But I still want to try.  I can only imagine being pregnant with a sinus infection would put me to bed for a week.

So maybe I can make just "trying" a goal for the new year.  I will continue to try with all that I do because if I give up now I'm doomed to a life of depression and sickness.  Now back to knitting the charity blanket I'm now working on.  Slow progress but its progress nonetheless.