10 months and an Over Due Update

So 10 months has zoomed by.  I missed posting last week because my mother was visiting.

Eily has gained a pound and grew another 1/2 inch.  She is now almost 21 lbs and even closer to the 30 inches in height shy by just 1/4 inch.

She is such a cute little stinker.  Yesterday I came back into the room where I had her in her playpen to find her laying down on her stomach.  I asked her what was wrong.  She said, "I pooped".  Sure enough she had and off we went to change her diaper.

The visit with my mother went well enough.  She didn't hold Eily much.   She only picked her up once of her own accord.  She held her one other time to have her picture taken with her.  I asked her if she wanted to feed her and she responded that she had taken care of enough babies in her lifetime.  Sighs...oh well.  Mom never did want children.  I mean she is happy to have adult children now but she didn't really want us.  Children were something she was expected to have much the way a women is expected to have say a purse or a pair of earrings

Mother's Day was okay.  I washed my mom's laundry, dried it and folded it for her.  I made sure she had everything she needed.  I baked her a cake, I cooked for her.  I even took her out to a nice restaurant for a surf and turf.  Oh and when we played a few games of Flinch and I kept winning Mom was getting cranky.  So I said whoever wins the next round wins for the night so of course I threw the hand.  She is a sore loser and an even worse winner that loves to gloat.  I did mention that to her to remind her that she could learn to be nicer about things.

For all that she held her granddaughter she bragged to her sister how solidly she is built.  How would my mom know?  What she did notice is that Eily is a very happy baby.  She said I wasn't like that.  Gee I wonder why?  Eily is a happy baby because J and I promote a happy atmosphere for her to grow up in.  If we have a problem I tell him to go outside and I'll go outside to talk with him later.  Sometimes his work gets in the way.  Why argue around the kids like my parents did?  It only upsets them!  I don't remember how many times I went to bed with an upset stomach over my parents fighting and I mean fighting.

We won't be moving to a new duty station any time soon.  However we might be moving to a new home soon.  Looks like three apartments, bigger ones, will be available soon.  We have been given the new addresses to take a look at and decide which one we might like.  It would be nice to give Eily a bigger bedroom.  This place is so tiny and poorly laid out.

Breaking Down

Folks I'll try to not make this post into a rant.

We tried to get leave to see my parents every weekend now for the past month.  Every time it got denied.  Sometimes it was for a good reason.  But we too had our reasons.  J stated this past time that my dad is not in good health.  Again this weekend's mileage pass got shot down.  He wasn't even asking for an additional day; just a mileage pass.

The Army requires all of its personnel to submit mileage passes for any movement over 250 miles from your present duty station.  We had planned on traveling 325 miles.

Last night my dad was rushed to the hospital in via ambulance.  He took a fall with his oxygen tank because he was so weak from pneumonia.  I was wondering why my parents land line went to answering machine after just two rings last night.  Now I know.

Dad is in the ICU.  It doesn't look good.  I'm surprised with how many times he's been hospitalized in the past that he has made it this far.  One heart valve doesn't work, kidneys at 40%, oxygen full time and the other health issues.  How can he hold on?  I want him to see his granddaughter.  He wants to meet her too.

We've been in contact with the hospital.  We are trying to get a Red Cross Message from the hospital to my husband's unit so that we can travel to my parents.  I'm not asking J to take leave for long, just long enough to drop me Little E  and Bugsy off at my parents' house and take a break for sleep.  He can head back the next day so that he can get ready for this next deployment.

One vehicle household so yeah I need him to drop me off at home.  The nearest train station to my parents' home is 150 from them.  That won't work.  Flying with a baby and a cat is out of the question.  We were planning on getting a second vehicle here shortly too.

I'm just so upset right now.

28 Week OB Check Up

Yesterday was my 28th week check up at the OB here at Fort Stewart.  Again a different doctor.  In the many weeks I've been going to an OB here and at Madigan I've yet to see the same doctor twice.  As of yesterday when they started to schedule the next few appointments it looks like they'll be keeping me with Dr. Canady.  He is a really sweet man.  Great personality, older, and I hope he turns out to be the one I'll look forward to seeing in the Labor and Delivery suite.

Next week Thursday I head over to the Perinatologist in Savannah.  Tricare is allowing me four appointments with them and hopefully I'll get to use them all before she is born.

I finally gained two pounds.  But alas I got on the scale this morning and found that I'd dropped 0.6 pounds overnight.  I swear it is all this unloading of boxes I'm doing that is causing the weight to drop off.  Dr. Canady isn't too worried.  He said the weight guidelines should be thrown out the window.  He also said that I have baby that is growing just fine but that she is well hidden.  I'm really getting tired of the remarks from women where they keep saying, "you are so small for 7 months".  I want to tell them, "yes, because this is my first baby and I'm not constantly stuffing my face with empty calories either".

Weight:  + 2 pounds which still makes me 3 pounds under my starting weight and of course another 0.6 pounds lost this morning gives me more wiggle room.

BP: 124/75

Fetal heart rate: 145

Fundal height: 31 cm.  Yes the dizzy spells I've been having can be attributed to the growth spurt of my uterus and baby.

Anatomy scan will be coming up soon.  High risk OB in Savannah will either be requesting that Stewart do it or they will do it themselves next week though I don't think I'm due for another anatomy scan until 32 weeks.

3 hour Gestational Diabetes test:  I passed with perfectly normal numbers!  Thankfully I corrected my eating habits early on with the 8 week test failure and barely passing the 10 week test.

Thyroid test:  controlled nicely on current dosage of synthroid.

On a different note:  My dad is still in the hospital.  We are hoping that soon he'll go to the nursing home for recovery.  Unfortunately he developed pneumonia after his surgery which was a complication we were hoping he'd bypass this time around.

I've called my mom and requested that J and I be allowed to come up for a visit on Memorial Day weekend as it is the last time until I deliver that I can travel up to see them.  She told me that my brother had requested that weekend too.  Well damn, I mean they won't get the chance to see me but for maybe an overnight trip as I pass through in November or December for the baby's christening.  I think I should get priority this time for that very reason.  My dear brother can get vacation easily while J can't.  Besides I have stuff to bring to my mom's that she'd like to have I reminded her.  Unlike my brother that makes a nuisance of himself while there and my parents often can't wait for him to leave.

I mean it isn't much that I'm bringing up to mom.  I have some hand embroidered table linen that I made and will fit her dining room table.  Also her grocery cart is bent to hell and I never used nor took out of the box the winnie wagon I purchased 6 years ago when I thought I'd be moving to Korea with J.  It is something she said she'd love to have and I intend on bringing it up to her and assembling it for her.  She has a ramp in the back of the house for dad's wheelchair which makes it easier to get the groceries out of her SUV too.

So we'll see what some pleading will do.  Hoping that mom understands that it is now or never with the wagon too as next time I come up the SUV will be filled with baby stuff, baby, and cat headed to NY with just an overnight stay at her place.

Taking Joy In Someone's Pain

Yup that's me right now.  I'm as angry as a bear that had something taken from it.

I'm having a double dose of reality.  I don't want to fully disclose everything and I certainly won't name names here but I can tell you that people are really disappointing me.

Some of you that follow my blog closely know that I don't have a good relationship with my parents.  Its true they aren't my favorite people nor the parents I always wanted and they are the source of my borderline personality disorder.

But when I need to verify facts within the family I still need to call them.  A cousin of mine, I grew up next door to her mom, recently lost her grandfather and her father within a few days of each other.  I called my parents to verify the facts.  I used to do genealogy and I should probably update my files now.

I'm pissed because my own father thought it was funny.  Yes, he was laughing at the posting about the deaths.  He'd probably now deny it to save face and Mom would back him up.  He's known for at least a day.  I told my mom that Dad is one sick son of a bitch and he'd better watch his karma for his reactions to these deaths.  His health isn't all that good.  He shouldn't be laughing at the demise of others.  Really he should be making amends like the good Roman Catholic he was brought up to be.  Wait a minute, is there really such a thing?  I think my father is perhaps on the other end of the scale there and he cultivates anger in others.

I know, I know, honor thy father and mother.  But when does that apply?  When they go too far they need to be reminded to not be so harsh about the feelings of other.

All I can say is for the sake of the grown children left behind, who are now fatherless, you'd think that my father, their uncle, would be offering condolences.

Oh and if any of my family is reading this, well seriously what you put out there comes back to haunt you.  You know quite well how I feel about your response with this matter.  I've told you on the phone too.

Yes, I've known other people that are just as twisted to find joy in the sorrow of others.  Yes there are plenty of them out there on Earth.  Those that take joy in the loss of someone's pregnancy, their loss of their home, or hard earned wealth.  I find it disgusting to say the least when someone takes joy in the pain of others.

Gifting; Is It Better To Receive?

Well last night I received a gift from someone that I had not bought a gift for.  My husband knew an hour before his friend arrived that the guy was going to give us each a gift.  Fair warning would have been nice.  I hate to receive any gift without the chance to give one back because that is how I was taught.

What makes this worse is that the guy giving the gift was the one I mentioned in my blog, He's Not My Friend, and well I felt bad about receiving the gift for two reason.  First reason is that I did blog about him and second is because he gave me something without me giving back.  I graciously accepted the gift, a dvd, How To Train Your Dragon. 

I do love this particular movie and I watched it at the post theater while my husband was deployed.  My husband has yet to see the movie so we'll end up watching it together.

Now I have a question or two for you readers.

1) If you are given an unexpected gift do you graciously accept it and tell the person you didn't get them one but will get them one later?
        or
2)  Do you just accept the gift and think that in this case its a small repayment for the damage he's done to the furniture?  I guess you'll have to read that blog page to understand what I'm thinking.

I gave the guy a hug and thanked him.  He thought I'd never seen the movie.  I said that I have and I enjoyed it.

After my husband's friend left, must have been at least an hour, I asked my husband if he knew about the gifts before hand.  He said "yes".  I'm wondering if he was so absent minded to not realize that I give gifts back and I would feel awful receiving anything from this friend of his.  He knows how I feel about his friend.  Why did he not warn me?  I asked him that very question.  His reply was, "I didn't think".  I've been hearing that excuse a lot from him lately.  Its not going to fly with me.  I detest being put on the spot like this with my shields down, totally unprepared for a gift from this particular individual.

So to anyone that is reading this, if you are planning on gifting to me this year and I don't know about it you'd best tell me now if you are expecting a gift back.  I've been on the opposite end before and gifted to other people with nothing in return, it can cause hurt feelings on both sides.  I love to give and don't really care if I get in return but I learned my lesson  Christmas 1995.

Ah yes, another typical Christmas horror story told by yet another person.  Picture it, Northern New York 1995 its -40 F that day.  Due to the events that happened I ended up with frost bite on my ear.  A day before Christmas I arrived from Texas with my ex.  All things considered it was a decent 36 hour almost non-stop drive.  I had done my shopping in San Marcos, TX and I shopped well.  There used to be a day when I was younger that I could out shop anyone but no longer as I detest shopping.  I had gifts for everyone that year.  Really nice gifts too.  One was for my persnickety sibling under the tree.  I knew he'd like it.  He's a clothes horse and usually very well dressed.

Christmas morning arrived.  We all opened our gifts.  Everyone was pleased.  One gift was left under the tree.  The one from me to my brother.  He refused to open it.  But why?  He said he had nothing to give back to me.  I didn't care.  My ex did care.  My ex wanted to fight.  My ex had been drinking.  My ex felt insulted. I  decided it was okay I would keep the gift and I'd wear it instead since I liked the gift. 

Because of the fight my brother left the house to not come back as long as we were in residence.  He stayed at my cousin's house.  Tensions were high that year.  My ex floored the gas pedal and fishtailed out of my parents driveway leaving me there to deal with the aftermath.  I don't like dealing with angry, crying parents.  I left on foot walking the mile down the road to where my ex was at his family's house.  I ended up with frost bite on my right ear.  High winds whipping across the snow covered fields and the temps were registering  a negative 40 F.  Yes well below zero and I with no hat or scarf to cover my face, just my thin wool coat and a body used to the Texas heat.

Since that day gift giving for me has changed.  I'm careful to only gift to those that understand I'm giving without the thought of getting back but if they gift me too its okay. I think its truly the only thing I don't like about the holiday season.