Not Quite What I Wanted

Photo by me and yes I enhanced it.

Its Sunday once again which means in less than 2 hours I'll be headed out to church.  Thank God I won't be driving.

I'm tired.  I didn't sleep much last night.  J and I were woken up by one of my nightmares at 0200hrs.  Ugh I hate PTSD.

Yesterday we went grocery shopping at two store, stopped by the Exchange to get more potting soil, organic seeds and peet pellets.  Later today I'll be planting more of my seeds in preparation for this years hopefully bountiful harvest.  I'm trying my hand this year at three new crops: potatoes yellow and purple, beets, and radishes.  The rest of my crops will be sunflowers, nasturtiums, peppers, onions, tomatoes, strawberries, rhubarb, and various herbs and most flowers edible in my garden except for the the existing ones which I didn't plant and one or two just for show.

Sorry if my post seems a little iffy I'm quite fatigued.  J is anxious about the upcoming deployment.  We are both on edge not knowing how much time we have left together.  It could be a week or two months.  But he will be leaving soon and I hate it.

I hope that my garden will keep me busy for most of the summer.  But I will have to be a realist, this is The Evergreen State which means moss, mold, and mildew the three shades of greenish black associated with plentiful rain.  Last year my tomatoes never ripened.  I had hard green tomatoes at the end of August.  I'm hoping for more than 2 days of summer this year.

I do plan on getting into my other pursuits.  I might reopen my etsy shop.  Its been closed for almost four years.  I'll start completely over with a new name and some of my old stock of jewelry, new soaps, lip balms, bath salts, organic crocheted wash cloths, and so on.  But that will be quite an undertaking and I'm not sure I'll be up to it or not.

So my other plan is to get back to my art work.  I'd like to do daily water colors.  I need the practice as I'm sorely lacking in my skills at the moment.  I need to build up my strength in my hands.  The carpal tunnel makes writing and drawing painful after a few hours.  Okay sometimes after a few lines.

If it turns out that I get a unicorn before J has to leave I'll need his help in rearranging furniture and my craft boxes.  I refuse to lift anything myself that is over 10 pounds.  Due to my back injury I'm not supposed to be lifting more than that amount any way.

Forget RESPITE CARE.  I've already been denied twice and they haven't even seen my EFMP summary sheet that I just got in the mail on Friday.  Yes, the one I'm supposed to submit to the ACS to see if I qualify.  I got an email from ACS saying that my daughter Penny isn't going to get care.  When did I have a child?  I responded immediately to the person that emailed me and told her there is some mistake.  She emailed me back and said they would correct my denial letter.  Yes, they corrected it and still didn't realize I'd yet to submit the paperwork to even get reviewed.  Got to love the Army!  So no I won't be getting any help while J is deployed.  Even though 2 of my 6 listed medical conditions is considered to be severe after being reviewed by medical board.  I need only one condition to be listed as severe to be allowed Respite Care.  Of the rest one condition is moderate and three others are mild.  I'm listed as having to have a hepa filter, air conditioning, one story house and use of a cane to ambulate.  We have a one story house and I use my cane but there is no a/c or hepa filter in our base home.

Okay enough b*tching for today.

Symptoms of PMS or Pregnancy for today:

Cranky
Sore breasts
Nausea
Tenderness in the pelvic region more centered around uterus
Headache yesterday and again this morning
Lower back pain
Forgetfulness
Clumsiness

All of the above could be related to any of my medical issues.  I'll let you figure out this puzzle.