I got angry.
I cried.
I went grocery shopping for food that I won't eat but J will. It was mostly his stuff he needed as well, I eat like a bird these days think bread and bread products.
Went out for lunch. J bought me a gift for Tuesday's celebration of which he promptly wrapped when we got home. The thing that I wanted to get for him won't be completed yet. Its just a new stock for his granddad's shotgun. Oh we started that project back in October but the guy who is making it is so back logged on gun projects that he probably won't get it to it until next month. So for now J is just going to get an IOU and some candy.
Still have pelvic pain. My GERD is hell right now. Both kept me up last night like a newborn crying for a bottle.
Tomorrow is church. We'll see if I feel up to going. I hope I can go as these days its about the only thing that makes me feel a bit better about life.
If my ovaries are still possibly good and my uterus is still okay and I don't show signs for killing off any more babies we'll go with my own DNA again and give it more more try.
If my eggs are shit then we go with donor eggs.
If my endo is worse and my uterus is killing off the babies we are done.
13 more days until the WTF appointment.
Oh and excuse my cussing. I'm just in that kind of mood. I'll repent tomorrow and probably still swear a bit more after. Life isn't always fair and we all know that.
Celiac note: I'm now starting with a rash and I have a bruise on my forearm as of this morning. No clue where the bruise came from as I don't remember hurting myself on anything.
I hope you start feelibetter, emotionally and physically. More than anything else I want you to get some answers.
ReplyDelete12 more days til the appt. Hopefully they'll be willing to test me.
DeleteSorry you are in so much physical discomfort nad emotional pain. This is a tough road we are on.
ReplyDeleteI am glad that you have some differnt options/paths that you are considering based on your WTF appt. It would be good for you to go to church tomorrow, I am sure it will make you feel better emotionally.
Yes, church did make a difference for me today.
DeleteSorry you having such a rough time :( No need to apoloogize for "cussing" we GET IT :) We are cussing with you!
ReplyDeleteThanks Sarah. Hope you are feeling better today.
DeleteI don't mind the cussing, I have a potty mouth myself. The situation sucks and you don't deserve to go through this. xoxo
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure where my life is heading from here on out except to therapy more often is my best guess.
DeleteI really hope your WTF appt gets here before you know it... and that it's not the worst case scenerio for you (*hugs*) I say cry, scream, cuss, all you need to. Get it out. It's a lot to process and I can only imagine how hard this is for you right now.
ReplyDeleteI know you know how bad it is. Way too many of us have been in the similar situation wondering where their life is going to take them from here. I'll find out soon and hopefully make a plan from there.
DeleteI just hope that the WTF appointment isn't the end of the road for you.
ReplyDelete