It's All About Me

While writing these blog pages I want to remind the readers that I write mainly for me, rant when needed, and enjoy getting feedback.

Since this blog is really all about my life, how I live it, and my life experiences I will now share a few with  you.

1989 I went to work on a sunny day in August I should have stayed home.  Met my first husband.

1991 Married first husband.  Married him only because I thought I should.  Every time I tried to break it off with him he either hurt himself or tried to hurt me.  Sometimes he succeeded at both.

2002  I had enough.  A cold day in May dawned and I ended up in the ER.  I called my parents and asked for a lawyer.  Next day with a swollen jaw, abraded knee, and bruised calf I walked into my lawyer's office to start the divorce.  That was the last time I was abused by him.

31 Dec 2002  I was raped by a friend.  Enough said about that until the next PTSD nightmare crops up.

March 2003 went to a wedding of two friends (they aren't friends now and from what I've been told are now in divorce proceedings)  Met second husband.

Sept 2004 got engaged to guy I'm now married to

May 2005 Graduated College with a B.S. in English minor in Science

4 months later Married.

2012 several miscarriages and a Stage III diagnosis of Endometriosis later I am trying to find my purpose in life.  It doesn't look like motherhood is going to be that purpose.  Rather tired of fertiles telling me, "you'd make a great mother some day".

I have several good medical excuses why I shouldn't be trying to conceive a baby or so I've been told.  However I don't let the: High Blood Pressure, Arrhythmia, Fibromyalgia, Meniere's Disease, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Endometriosis, Asthma, Degenerative Disc Disease (back and neck), Herniated discs, moderate narrowing of the spinal canal in the neck, Moderate NASH Liver Disease, and Gastric Ulcer (not a big deal really) same with my GERD prevent me from getting my lazy butt out of bed each day and trying to live my life.  Hopefully that life will one day include a child of my own and not some friend dropping their kid off for the day to babysitt.

I have a right, as all humans do, to complain and also to have high expectations.  I expect from people nothing more than I am willing to give.  Really that is how I am.  If I can't do for myself I don't turn into a curmudgeon.  I will accept a helping hand.  I will try to return the kindness to the best of my ability.

So for now that is all I have to say about me; my adult life line given briefly.  If you want to find out more you'll just have to wait for it like I do every damn day.

July 2014 gave birth to a very special daughter conceived using donor gametes.  One day later I had to have my uterus removed due to placental retention.

January 2015 Hysterectomy completed and the rest of the equipment is now removed.  I will no longer be able to reproduce or carry a child ever again.  I am sad and at the same time over joyed.  These mixed emotions I'll have to deal with in the coming years as I raise my daughter with my husband.

February 2015 my daughter who is now  7.5 months old is walking.  Yikes I'm mommy to a toddler.  Had to go out and buy her shoes.  The only ones that fit her tiny feet are ones for crawlers.

November 2016 Diagnosed with Alpha-1 Antitrypsin Deficiency MZ   Now in need of a Liver Donor

3 comments:

  1. You sure have been through a lot. Hugs your way!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi Life of an army wife Team,

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    Anuj

    ReplyDelete

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