Friday, November 13, 2015

16 Months

Eily loves to color.  I swear it is one of the words most often uttered from her mouth these days.

She drew this just for me this morning.  Not bad for a 16 month old!  I'm not sure when they are supposed to be able to make circles but she has been making them for a couple of weeks now.  This is her best one yet.

She not only takes the crayons out of the box but she also puts them back in the box when she is done.  Smart kid.  I hope this continues to happen with some of her toys but I doubt it.  I know I was messy as a kid and I don't expect her to be a neat freak either.

Monday, October 26, 2015

The Little Things Make Me Smile

Eily seems to now have a favorite book.  Shake It Up Baby by Karen Katz is her go to book when she wants lap time with Mama.  As of today she can: touch her nose, rub her tummy, hit a drum, shake a different rattle than the one in the book and so on all upon prompt from readings in the book.  I'm so very proud of her.

New things she has said or says a lot more often:

Daddy Leaving
Kray (she is trying to say crayon and points to them)
Nana and Banana which refer to her lovey toy of which she named banana

She loves to dance to country and 80's music which is done daily.

Legos...she plays with those daily and is building upwards quite well now.  She had some issues before with getting the pressure to make them stick well.  These aren't the mega blox.

One of her new favorite food is fish; she likes fish sticks but real fish is better.  She loved the fish that Daddy ordered at Red Lobster the other night.  She turned up her nose at the chicken breast we ordered for her.  She doesn't like shellfish.  Well it took me years to acquire that taste too.

As for eating with utensils.  She can make short work of applesauce with two num num dippers, one for each hand.  With a metal fork or a spoon she can dig into most anything that is cut down to size as well.  It doesn't mean it will all stay on her plate; we are working on that.  But yes we do feed her off of dinner ware now and not just the tray.  She does drink from a cup, sometimes with a straw and we do hold the cup since if we didn't we'd all wear the contents.

She still gets 3-4 bottles of formula a day.  6 oz each.  It is to make sure she gets her proper nutrition especially on the days she wants to be a picky eater.  After each bottle she gets water.  Before bed she will get her teeth flossed and brushed.

She has 13 teeth right now and is still in the process of cutting the last three canines.  They are being really rough with just points up.  Today she has a low grade fever of 100.1 so Tylenol was given to help with pain and fever.

Eily early this morning.   I'm trying to tame her locks with a barrette.

Tuesday, October 20, 2015

The Verdict

Well I don't have to go to court this coming month.  I thought I'd have to take that trek up to my mom's house and stay over then drive back the next day.  I thought I'd have to stare at my brother or the back of his head in the court room.  Nope.

I finally heard back from the district attorney's office today.  I called a week ago.  I waited patiently when they said they'd call me back immediately.

They called me yesterday and left me a message while I was at a doctor appointment.  I called back today.  I had to leave a message.  I stated I had to know today because I wouldn't be home tomorrow due to back surgery.

The Verdict...


Are you kidding me?

Seems as though my sibling passed the mental evaluation.  Cased is dismissed.  He won't have to do community service.  He won't have to apologize to me or Mom.  He won't have to pay for my hospital bills as far as I know or pay for the cabinet he broke.  So I'll be stuck paying for the almost 2k bill.  Nice huh?   

I asked if he will be allowed to get a gun permit.  The ADA said yes.  Great.  So that means he could get one and hunt me down.  Why not, I mean I live on an open installation.  I humiliated him.  He would want vengeance.

Since he is not nuts that means he tried to kill me while being totally sound of mind.  Wouldn't you think that would warrant a bit of some kind of penalty?????

I asked the ADA.  All I got was a snotty answer from her of "what do you want us to do?". 

I'm more scared now then I was before.  Sure there is still a no contact order in place by the court for life.  He isn't allowed near me or to contact me in any shape, matter or form.  Mom has had it with him too and his nonsense.

Friday, October 9, 2015

15 Months

Eily turned 15 months old.

She has 13 teeth.

She is about 32.5 inches tall.

She weighs 24 pounds.

She went to her very first bounce house birthday party last weekend.

First time down the slide and all by herself.  The look of sheer joy and I was glad I caught it on camera.

I had the radio frequency nerve ablation done to my lower left side of my back on Wednesday.  My back is bruised but it is feeling much better otherwise.  I am looking forward to having the right side done on the 21st.  I do have pain where the bruising is but I am taking motrin for that along with applying ice.  However, I cannot feel the pain down deep because the doctor was successful in burning out the root nerves that send signals to my brain where the problem is in the facets along the spinal column.

Don't mind the two circles in the photo please, they are from the grommets on my yoga pants.  I am allowed to wear some street clothing during the procedure and yoga pants are one of the garments.  You can see the four needles, L5- S1,  where the doctor had to do the root nerve burn out.  These needles were about 7 inches long.  After the procedure I needed help standing up because my left hip had slipped out of joint again!  You can see it is out of joint in the xray too.  LOL.

Friday, September 11, 2015

Endometriosis is Not in my Head, at least not yet

Yesterday I had my annual beg the PCM for referrals and prescription renewals appointments.  I told the good and wise man that I was having pain with my orgasms.  He stated that I could not still be having endometriosis and that he called the surgeon's office that did my procedure, talked to an LPN there, and she said it couldn't be.  I bed to differ.  He disagreed again.  He said I have no organs to trigger an attack.  I have no uterus to cause the bleeding and no ovaries to stimulate a flare up.

According to an article I just read on endometriosis even men can get the disease.  As far as I know men don't have a uterus or ovaries!  I detest a know-it-all doctor that really doesn't want to listen.

So when my referral comes in to see a doctor for my endometriosis I'm going to try to get the one I want in Atlanta.  I realize it is out of network and I'll have to pay out of pocket.  If they help alleviate my pain it will be worth it.

Other things I found out at the doctor appointment, rather I kind of knew this but it took my good wise man of a doctor months to figure out, I'm a high risk for congestive heart failure.  Mom recently tested positive for protein in her urine.  They put her on meds for it.  I tested positive twice during my pregnancy for protein in my urine.  Dad died of congestive heart failure after having numerous attacks of it.  My legs are always swollen.  The doctor finally increased my dosage of Lasix.  Hopefully in a few days the swelling will go down.  I've been able to keep my blood pressure under control with my meds, diet and exercise.  It was 128/60 yesterday.

I've been here for 17 months and my good wise doctor finally realized after all my asthma attacks I might need more than just nasonex and my asthma inhaler.  He put me on Zyrtec.  Yes, I can breathe at night!  One night of no coughing up strings of mucus.  Yes I know gross but well that is life.

Eily now has 12 teeth.  The thought of mucus and Zyrtec trigger the teeth memory.  She is on Zyrtec and drools all the time with the teething.  She cut 5 teeth last week.  The last of the front top teeth popped through and all 4 of the 1 year old molars came through together.  Time to celebrate with her favorite steak J told me...Ribeye.  J and Eily do love Ribeye.

Wednesday, September 9, 2015

14 Months

Little E turned 14 months old yesterday.

Our lives are increasing with more activities every day.  E loves to pull the books off of her shelves, my shelves and J's shelves.  She chews on them.  Of course this leads me to talk about the two molars that are making an appearance on the bottoms.  There I mentioned them.

Her hair is getting darker.  It is now more of a reddish brown and more curly.

She can now dunk her cookies in milk.

She is now drinking milk.

She has moved fully onto tableware to include her metal fork and spoon, plate and bowl however, she still eats with her fingers too.

Her favorite sentence is still, "I did it".  But she does say  other sentences such as: "how are you?", "I want that." and "are you okay?".

Her newest word twisted my head around as it was a Saturday morning.  She said appropriately enough to me, "SATURDAY!".  So cute.

We are working on her Spanish and her numbers still.  I sometimes will slip in some French and German when I'm not really thinking about it with my replies to her.  I just get so tired and words just ramble out of my mouth.

We did start potty training.  I purchased a bi-lingual potty training book, English/Spanish.  I don't know Spanish all that well but J is fluent.  We do sit her on the potty about once a day and we don't force it as of yet.

E's taste buds are quite developed I think.  She loves my cooking.  I made a Shepard's pie the other night using lamb and beef with carrots, peas, red skin potatoes, gravy and various herbs and spices and she loved it.  How many kids at this age love Lamb?  I made a casserole with Chorizo in two weeks ago and also a week before that and both weeks she ate it.  When I cook it is like she can never get enough of my cooking.  She eats all the food off of her plate and starts eating off of her dad's plate next!  Oh and she loves the left overs too.  She also loved the cranberry meatballs I made a few weeks ago.  Tomorrow night I'm going to make Swedish meatballs using ground turkey.  The only dish my daughter has yet to like is the Sauerbraten.  It was a little to sour for her taste buds.

As for me....
I had the experimental lidocaine injection done to my lumbar facets.  I felt relief for about 6 hours.  I think that it was a success.  I'll know more in two weeks what the doctor thinks about the procedure and what he saw in the xrays.  Fingers crossed that I'll be a good candidate for the root nerve burn out.  I'd like to have 6-12 months free of lower back pain.  I'll still have to deal with the pain in my body but less pain is better in my book.  Less pain means I'll be able to function better and do more with my daughter too!

Oh and for fun I'm working on removing peeling paint in the house since BBB reality won't get a move on to it do the repairs here.  I'll paint it when I'm done as paint won't stick to peeling paint.

Friday, August 28, 2015

Riding Out the Storm

We are due for one heck of a nasty storm to hit us in the next few days.  Because of the Red Cycle that has started up AGAIN, we will be riding out the storm on the installation.  One vehicle family.

No passes and no leave is granted during Red Cycle.  Unless of course it is a family emergency.

Next week I am undergoing a medical procedure.  It is elective.  It is also experimental. If it works then I will go for the next phase.  Unfortunately I have to be in a lot of pain for the experiment to be performed on my back first.  It is called a Diagnostic Lumbar Facet.  The doctor goes in with needles and injects a local anesthetic to the nerves at the facet with the hope that it will stop the pain for a few hours.  If it works then he can go back in in a few weeks and burn out the nerve roots.  That is temporary too.  They grow back in about six months.  With all my other medical conditions causing pain one less source of pain would be nice.  I'm hopeful that this will work.

Rather than drive up to my Mom's house in NC and leave my DH without a car for a week and skip out on the back appointment we are going to ride out the storm.  I'm hoping that it turns out to be nothing.  Praying that it is just going to be minor damage.  But we are going to move any possible objects that can fit in our attached shed  into it rather than make them possible flying debris.  I've also asked DH to bring in the sheets of plywood, nails and hammer just in case a window gets broken.   Not all of our neighbors will be so thoughtful to bring in their things I'm sure.

Hoping that any of my readers in the path of the storm stay safe.

Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Photo Dump

Curly Hair
He is MINE

First Swing Ride


Gift for E's 16th bday I bought ahead of time 111 yrs old 18kt gold

flower box garden
flowers down the line

Eily just being so darn cute
I need time to think

I said I would post photos when I got the chance.

Thursday, August 13, 2015

Thirteen Months and Counting

Little E turned thirteen month this past weekend.  I swear the day just flew right by unnoticed by us.  The three of us have been very busy.

E is cutting a new tooth.  This tooth is stubborn.

She has a plethora of new words.  Just yesterday she said Ice Cream.  She has also said: Duck ( she likes watching Sarah & Duck), Good God,  Good Stuff,  Damn It ( I wonder where she got that from!) and God Damn (again you can guess where she got that one) and she does say Ook (she is trying to say book).  Just yesterday I chewed J out for using the F word in Little E's presence.

We had to take her to the Pediatricians' office on Tuesday due to her wheezing and coughing.  For a couple of nice sunny days, a rarity here, we had been taking her to the playground.  Well it obviously made her allergies worse.  The doctor didn't do much for her.  She offered to put Little E on Zyrtec.  E is already on Zyrtec.  If the doctor had checked the chart she would have seen that.  E's eczema has gotten worse since going outside too.  I already put Eucerin on her.  The doctor then prescribed her, guess what, Eucerin.  Okay so why did I bother to book an appointment?  Well I did get one thing done that got overlooked from her 12 month appointment....the Lead blood draw.  Yes, the doctor at the 12 month appointment said he would put the lab in and totally forgot since he was concerned about the ridging on her nails.  I made a point of showing the doctor this time and she put in the lab draw. 

Yesterday I caught Little E trying to eat a paint chip.  Yikes!

E is now 31 1/2 inches tall and 23.2 pounds.  She can no longer fit under the dining room table with ease.

Turns out our housing wasn't built in the late 70's as we were told but in the 50's according to the workmen that come out to fix this dump apartment.  I'm still waiting for the rotting support beams on the patio and roof line to be replaced.  No one has come to look at them.  It has been three weeks since it was reported and noted on the last workman's white sheet.  I'll believe it when I have the guys in blue walking in my fenced in back yard.

The one beautiful feature in my backyard is the flower boxes I put up.  Yes I couldn't help myself.  I decided that I had to have something pretty to look at this year.  So I dug out my flower boxes and I purchased for my birthday plants!

I have pictures of E and the flowers but for some reasons I'm having troubles loading them. Maybe I'll try again another time.

Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Wanting To Write

I've been wanting to write a blog post for some time.  But obviously I haven't until now.  Oh I have my reasons.  Primarily I'd say it is because I didn't want to dish.  But I need to vent, I need to stretch myself out to my readers who have been where I've been and where I'm going.

So here I'll go....

Having a baby is wonderful.  It has changed my marriage profoundly.  I have less: sex, sleep, food, free time, shower time, you name it time.  But I get more love from a never ending source of pure energy that will one day turn to despise me because I probably won't give her something that she has to have or she thinks she'll be ostracized from her peer group without the item.

Mainly my problem is my spouse.  The more pain I'm in the more pain he proclaims he is in.  Example: This week I've been limping about with my knee and hip issues due to the weather and he complains about sliding on the floor with socks.  He goes to sick call and has them look at this big toe.  They take an x-ray but don't think he broke it.  It isn't broke.  It barely has a violet undertone to the nail.  Barely a sprain they told him.  He needs the pity from me I guess.

My birthday was Monday.   J decided he couldn't get me a gift because he just couldn't figure out, after 12 years together, what I could possibly want, so he writes me a letter.  That very day he reneges on the promises in the letter and the next day too.  I spoke nicely in a calm and quiet manner to him about it.  He says you make me feel like Hitler.  I asked him how I made him feel like that?  He says that in an article he read recently that it is something that Hitler would have done.  I sigh at that point.  There is no point in continuing this conversation.  Oh and on my birthday I went to a place bought myself some potting soil, plants and plant hangers for the boxes I had on hand.  So far I have the planter boxes up but no plants in them.  I am working around the baby's schedule and the heat index too.

I have said to my husband that I feel as though that the more restriction my doctors place upon me that the more he resents me.  With this resentment I feel as though J decides to test me to see just how much more he can pile on me for work even though I do ask for his help.

Last night I was really tired and achey.  My hands were swollen and hurt.  No I still haven't had the carpal tunnel surgery.  Yes, the carpal tunnel in my right is severe but I said I would put it off until E is in school so that J has more time saved up.  Back to last night.  J made E fish sticks.  He cooked himself dinner and ate my take out left overs.  He didn't call me to the table.  I go into the kitchen.  I asked him if he was planning on inviting me to dinner to.  He said he didn't think of it.  So I went back to the living room.  I held my temper.  I went back into the kitchen and very nicely told him I didn't like this.  I said that, "remember how you felt at Christmas when your family didn't invite you to the table for dinner?  Remember how that made you feel when they ate without you?  Well that is how you've been making me feel each time for the past year.  When your Mom came here to help out with E when I had the surgery just after giving birth.  No one cooked for me.  I wasn't invited to the table.  You didn't make me a meal either.  When I had surgery in January again you didn't cook for me either."  He got my point.

So there I've dished.
Eily playing the bongos and playing with a drum can.

Thursday, July 9, 2015

First Birthday

My beautiful baby girl turned one year old yesterday.  We celebrated her birthday over the weekend.

She is now 22.2 pounds.  30.7 inches tall.  Her head circumference is now 18.1 inches.

Her twelfth month check up went well.  The doctor said she is very smart and has set the bar very high for other children her age to catch up to her.

Her new favorite word is "DUH".

I made both of the cakes.  Just the four of us celebrating at home plus J's parents via Skype.

As you can see Eilonwy enjoyed her cake!

Friday, June 26, 2015

As Fifty-One Weeks Draws To A Close

I have one smart cookie.

Her word list includes:
I found it (playing find Bugsy)
Bad Daddy
I like this (shopping)
I want this (shopping)
I pooped
How are you
Hi Dada
I dropped it
Big step (J always tells her to take a big step to get over the baby gate)
Happy Birthday----My mother heard her say this one over the phone.  Eily likes to watch Chica announce the birthdays on Sprout every day.

The above photo I entitled "the Force is strong with this Youngling"

I'm really biased as to her looks but then again I think most parents should be or else they'd probably just off their kids when they are being bratty.  Of which Eily isn't being bratty as of yet since she hasn't hit her twos.

I think she is just adorable.

As you can see from the background we are still doing cloth diapers.  She has lots of books.  She loves to tear into the books read the books.  I usually read her a story or two a day while she sits quietly crawls over mama using my braid as a teether or knocks down the blocks I'm building for her as I read the story.  I wish I could bottle some of her energy and store for her middle age.  I love my baby girl.  I love playing with her.  I love being a mama.  I don't mind the dirty diapers, the spit up, the midnight teething.  I'm just happy that I can give Eily a better childhood than I had.  Every one remarks on how she is such a happy baby.

I took this final photo just now of Eily .  I wonder what she is thinking?  I wonder what her future holds?
xc---Eily just typed that little bit.  Yes I allow her to use the computer already too.

Monday, June 8, 2015

11 Months Old

Eily turned eleven months old this morning.  Time does fly by.

We went for a walk before 0900 hrs because it gets way too darn hot to go after that time down here in southern Georgia.  I mean crazy hot after 0900 hrs!

She has 6 teeth.

She babbles.

She also has several words she speaks but I've written about that before.

She is going in for surgery the end of this month.  I'll write about that after it is over with.

My followers know that she has been walking since she was 7 months and 1 week of age.

Her height is about 30 inches and weight is about 21 pounds.  I'll find out more at her 1 year appointment next month.

She ran at the camera this morning for this photo.

Sunday, May 31, 2015

Over Hill Over Dale I Hope I Don't Hit The Dusty Trail Face First

Fumbling over words and stumbling over my own feet I some how made it through yesterday.  Today I'm taking it easy.

Yesterday the three of us decided to venture out of the house for a few hours.  We checked out a flea market in Savannah.  Eily wasn't impressed by the puppy mill area nor were we.  It smelled of beer, feces and decay.  The poor animals were packed in cages and fighting over one another to get to the water being poured into the cage through the wire from a recycled Mt. Dew bottle by their owner.  The cage of kittens was stacked on top of a cage of puppies.  The kittens were so lethargic from the heat that they didn't even respond to the water being poured into the cage.  I was disgusted and we turned away as soon as we could from the crowed of people that were hyped about the bull puppies in cages.

We then went to a Scottish pub for an early dinner.  Eily had her bottle, cheerios, bambas, and orange.  J and I had meat pies for our starter.  He ordered a burger while I had a stuffed portabella mushroom.  I had difficulty ordering.  I did explain to our waitress about my condition and that I have trouble speaking at times.  Yesterday was that day for me.  No changing table in the men's room but there was in the ladies room so I managed a quick diaper change for Eily there.

In all those fibromyalgia commercials they talk about the pain.  There is more than pain.  I have days where I have the shakes from my medicines.  I have days where the disconnect in the language center of my brain is horrid.  I know what I want to say but saying it is like playing the old pyramid game on television.  I have to describe the word because I can't remember the word.  Or the word comes out as the opposite word.  Or worse yet I sound like a drunken idiot and babble and slur my words.  Mind you I don't drink while on my meds and certainly not while my Fibromyalgia is that bad.

Earlier this week I fell with Eily in my arms.  My left leg again gave out.   Eily is just fine.  I was holding tight to her and the way I landed she was in her standing position which only scared her. I saw my pain management doctor on Thursday and told her.  She made note of it and the bruising on my leg.  She made a follow up appointment for 12 weeks out.  Honestly there isn't much that can be done for me any more except back surgery.  I'm scared.  At the rate I'm going I might just be in that dreaded wheel chair faster than I expected.  Two bad falls just this month.

Monday, May 18, 2015

Four and a Half Months After Surgery

and I'm still having pain.

No bleeding but I'm still having pain.  It is rather uncomfortable to say the least.  Sex wasn't always fun with the endometriosis but I wanted it.  I still want it but now when I have an O there is stabbing pain radiating through the pelvis with the O.  When I asked the oncologist about that particular issue last month they said it might go away or it might always be there because of the extensive damage to my pelvic region from the endometriosis and surgery.  The round ligament has been cut through so many times I will never have a flat stomach now.

Now that the adhesions have been removed from the bowels I am at the other end of the IBS with the diarrhea where before I used to be constipated.

Even though I'm no longer bleeding and no longer have the reproductive organs Endometriosis has left terrible scars behind.  Scars upon my body and mind.  Scars on my mind because of the lost pregnancies.  Scars on my body from the surgeries.

The left uppermost scar where they inserted all the equipment in the last surgery sits just below my floating ribs.  When I bend over the scar tissue likes to slip under the ribs and gets caught there causing pain until I can massage and pull it back out.  Not fun.

Last post I forgot to mention what J got me for Mother's Day as a gift.  I asked him to make a donation to an animal shelter for cats for me.  He did.  He told me how much and what in the card he gave me on Mother's Day.  He is so sweet.  I have my family and Bugsy means so very much to me.  I really hate thinking about the time he spent as a stray.  I want to give back when we can and why not with a gift this way.  I don't need more material possessions.

Friday, May 15, 2015

10 months and an Over Due Update

So 10 months has zoomed by.  I missed posting last week because my mother was visiting.

Eily has gained a pound and grew another 1/2 inch.  She is now almost 21 lbs and even closer to the 30 inches in height shy by just 1/4 inch.

She is such a cute little stinker.  Yesterday I came back into the room where I had her in her playpen to find her laying down on her stomach.  I asked her what was wrong.  She said, "I pooped".  Sure enough she had and off we went to change her diaper.

The visit with my mother went well enough.  She didn't hold Eily much.   She only picked her up once of her own accord.  She held her one other time to have her picture taken with her.  I asked her if she wanted to feed her and she responded that she had taken care of enough babies in her lifetime.  Sighs...oh well.  Mom never did want children.  I mean she is happy to have adult children now but she didn't really want us.  Children were something she was expected to have much the way a women is expected to have say a purse or a pair of earrings

Mother's Day was okay.  I washed my mom's laundry, dried it and folded it for her.  I made sure she had everything she needed.  I baked her a cake, I cooked for her.  I even took her out to a nice restaurant for a surf and turf.  Oh and when we played a few games of Flinch and I kept winning Mom was getting cranky.  So I said whoever wins the next round wins for the night so of course I threw the hand.  She is a sore loser and an even worse winner that loves to gloat.  I did mention that to her to remind her that she could learn to be nicer about things.

For all that she held her granddaughter she bragged to her sister how solidly she is built.  How would my mom know?  What she did notice is that Eily is a very happy baby.  She said I wasn't like that.  Gee I wonder why?  Eily is a happy baby because J and I promote a happy atmosphere for her to grow up in.  If we have a problem I tell him to go outside and I'll go outside to talk with him later.  Sometimes his work gets in the way.  Why argue around the kids like my parents did?  It only upsets them!  I don't remember how many times I went to bed with an upset stomach over my parents fighting and I mean fighting.

We won't be moving to a new duty station any time soon.  However we might be moving to a new home soon.  Looks like three apartments, bigger ones, will be available soon.  We have been given the new addresses to take a look at and decide which one we might like.  It would be nice to give Eily a bigger bedroom.  This place is so tiny and poorly laid out.

Thursday, May 7, 2015

Quick Post

My Mom is coming for a visit this weekend.

Must get the apartment ready.

Everything is rather a mess due to packing things for yard sales in the process of moving.  I'll make room for mom and still find time to cook and socialize.  I found time to make her a nice gift, wrap the other gifts, do house work and make dinner last night.  I still need to shop for more groceries and bake a cake all before she shows up tomorrow night.  EEEK!!!!

Friday, May 1, 2015

Donor Egg Issues

So far we really have had a good almost 10 months with very little in the way of medical problems four Eily.  However, the pediatrician did note that we are lacking half her medical history which could cause some problems for her later in life.

This week I emailed the infertility clinic I used requesting more information on the donor I used.  I haven't heard back.  So today I called them.  I was transferred to the right person and she said she'll get the information that I need and have someone contact me as soon as possible. She did ask me if it was urgent.  I said yes.

Well Eily does have allergies.  She does have a full body rash.  It isn't going away no matter what we have applied to her.  It isn't the laundry soap.  We've been using the same type since before she was born on all her clothing and it is meant for her things.  The only other detergent used in the washer is free of all dyes and fragrances.  No fabric softeners are used on laundry.

She has been eating the same foods.  No new foods were introduced around the time the rash started.

I was told by a friend, an educated friend that also has raised children, that sometimes babies just get rashes.

This rash was so mild when we saw the doctor that he didn't even notice it.  We did report it to the nurse.  Funny thing is that even I broke out in a rash for a few days too.  No clue what caused it.  I know I have really sensitive skin too.  But Eily's skin is really bad.

We've done the Aveeno, Burt's Bees and now have moved on to coconut oil.  I make sure to take my watch off each time I change her diaper, it is a metal band and I don't want to scratch her.  By the way, the only place she doesn't have a rash is where the diaper sits on her body.  Strange?  I think so.

The cloth diapers get washed in the same load as the rest of her clothing.  Don't judge me.  I use flush-able liners on her diapers.  I switched to paper last week to use up the stash I had on hand.  She had the rash before the paper diaper switch.

Anyone have a clue what could be causing the rash?

Thursday, April 23, 2015

Need To Get This Off My Chest

Okay so we didn't go to court this week.  It has been postponed until late May.

So the nightmare are continuing.  As soon as the melatonin has worn off, of which it has stopped helping me sleep at even 10 mg a nightly dose, the terrors start.

This morning, after my husband has already left the bedroom, I woke up from a bad dream.  It was horrible.  What woke me up was reaching over and punching the person controlling me in the dream.  In real life I had reached over with my right arm and punched my husband's pillow hard.  Good thing he wasn't sleeping on it!

Yesterday morning I woke up from a bad dream calling out my brother's name.

The day before that was another bad dream.

PTSD really sucks.

I hate being a victim.

Too much bad stuff has happened to me in my life.

Molested at ages 4-8, beaten as a child, mentally abused as child and then as an adult, raped as an adult and then this crap last year with my brother.  Is it any wonder I have bad dreams?

This is the very reason why I refuse to co-sleep with my child....EVER!  If she becomes sick I'll snuggle with her in a chair and I'll stay awake.  I'm good with staying awake. I'm an insomniac that doesn't drink coffee or energy drinks.

Thursday, April 16, 2015

Red Cycle

So I guess I can blog about a bit of craziness that is going on here at this installation.  It is always on-going so it really isn't anything new.  But for us it is new because it is the first time my spouse has had to do it.  Last year I was pregnant and we were new to the installation and I guess his company had already done their cycle or something?

It lasts for 30 days no make that 90 days no make that oh hell I don't know how long now because it keeps changing.  Army motto "Adapt and Overcome".  This morning I woke up knowing this:

  1. DH got a call saying his dental was being rescheduled
  2. He called and got it rescheduled at the time he was supposed to actually have been there for the appointed time that had been cancelled.
  3. He was texted that he had the day off of work.
  4. Next text said he had to come into work
  5. Next text said his leave packet was missing a signature line on it. ( Mind you this was after the place had lost his previous packet two weeks ago.  This time he put a tracking number on the packet.)
  6. He has to go to CYSS to register our child.
So no day off.  Not like I even had a chance to make any plans.  I'm still adjusting to the shift change any way.  It is a weird shift.  Eily barely gets to see him but it is better than being deployed.

His packet had better go through for his leave for next week.  We have to be in court in NC next week Wednesday as we are under SUBPEONA.  Yes this is the case where my brother assaulted me using strangulation.

He still just needs an a commander's interview for his schoolhouse packet to leave this place. Unfortunately the commander isn't here.  I really feel bad for the man.  He lost his wife recently.  But there is another person acting in his place and she'll be doing the interview instead.

If all goes well we'll probably be PCSing before this Red Cycle is finished up.

Interesting fact:
Did you know that the gelatin from the pig's bones is used as a carrier for cordite and gunpowder when making bullets?  I wonder if Islamic terrorists know that?  I mean it is cheaper to make your own bullets.

Sunday, April 12, 2015

Seasonal Allergies


The whole family is on some sort of allergy medicine.

Eily is on Zyrtec.

DH is on Loratidine and Flonase.

I'm on Flonase.  Wish I could be on a allergy pill.  The meds I take right cause moderate interactions with one another and it might be a little to risky with the blood pressure meds to add in an allergy med.  I'd rather not elevate the risk to high and end up in the hospital just because I'm tired of sneezing and coughing and wheezing.

I dealt with it last year while pregnant I'll just have to deal with it this year too.

Thursday, April 9, 2015

Ninth Month Peds Visit

Baby E isn't so small now.

She is: 19.8 lbs/ 8.98 kg
            29.2 inches/ 79.168 cm
            17.91 inches head circumference/ 45.5 cm

She has 2 more teeth coming in on the top to add to the 2 she already has on top the doctor noticed.  She already has her bottom 2 as well.

Wednesday, April 1, 2015

One Week Away

In just a week E will be 9 months old.

Today her new car seat arrives.  She has outgrown her infant car seat.  We purchased the Britax Advocate Clicktight.  I hope it fits well in our small suv.  We currently have the Britax BSafe infant car seat which takes up a lot of room too so I'm thinking the newer one should fit at least on my side.

E has several words in her vocabulary:
ga-ga and da-da but those are more of a babble that most babies do.

She eats solid foods.  Still is on the bottle of course.  But she does like to try to feed herself with her num num spoon and the feeding spoon plus the finger foods.  She loves peanut butter, veggies, and fruits.

She runs.

She crawls.

She tries to chase after Bugsy but he is still able to out maneuver her.

Top picture was of her teething rash yesterday, today it is mostly gone.  Her top two teeth are visible but not fully descended.  She almost has four teeth now.

Friday, March 27, 2015

Combatives Gone Too Far

Every week my husband's unit does combatives.  I think it is a great way to keep on top of that particular challenge and so does he, but only when there are certain precautions taken since this just practice after all.  Yes, I realize that in the real world that those precautions wouldn't be there but there is not reason why they shouldn't be there if it is practice!

Before the combatives there should be a level 2 instructor present and a medic.  If either of those were there they weren't doing their jobs the other day.  My spouse got hurt not once but twice and did tap out but was ignored during the tap out in the strangle hold.  No one checked his injuries.

The 1stSgt actually told him to not go to sick call for the injury.  I told my spouse he should go get it looked at since he was spitting up blood and swallowing hurt.  I've been strangled.  He had to go to dental anyway since he was due.  They took xrays.  He has soft tissue injuries, chipped tooth, and an abrasions inside his mouth.  Oh and yes no one was instructed to bring mouth guards or wear them before the combatives...probably that is against the rules too I'm guessing.

The dentist gave him biofreeze, motrin, told him to hot pack it when he can and drink warm liquids.  He is having a hard time even talking today since his vocal cords seem to be swollen as well.

I think this is a case of the combatives going a bit far in my opinion.  This wasn't just one guy he went up against but two in the combatives and guys the 1stSgt chose for him that were much bigger and stronger too.

Yes I realize that in the real world you can't pick the guy you are going to have to beat the crap out of but yeah um I think his 1stSgt has something against him. If you've been reading my blog you'll have read that in the past there is something wrong with his chain of command.  DH had to fill in for the 1stSgt the other morning at PT for accountability formation and did good enough that I guess the 1stSgt had to find something else to tear DH up on.

Can't wait to get out of here for DH's sake.

Friday, March 20, 2015

Proof She Does Walk

Eily decided to show off for the camera and walk today.  She has been taking steps without help since 7 1/2 months but today she gave her debut in our living room.  So here she is at 8 months 12 days, walking!

Thursday, March 19, 2015

If This is Menopause

If this is menopause it sucks.

I used to wake up in cold sweats from the PTSD nightmares.  But now I wake up in cold sweats and have no energy to boot.

The weight gain.  WHY did no one warn me about the weight gain?  It is as though my thyroid medicine has been thrown in the trash and I'm back to square one but according to the labs the thryoid is functioning just fine.

I'm getting migraines and I'm on topamax.  I thought I had left behind me the world of migraines when I stopped doing all those wonderful hormones to get me pregnant.  Guess not.

So when Eily goes into her screaming fits, yes she has started that phase of life where she screams if she doesn't get what she wants, ALREADY!, my head pounds.  I told J to please come in from from the bbq last night that I couldn't take it any longer.  I was trying to sew together a sweater that I had crocheted her. The headache was bad enough, compounded with her screaming, I sewed a sleeve on inside out.  I just needed a break.  Today I'll sew the buttons on the sweater.

Thank you everyone for your suggestions on how we can find helpers to help out while I'm out of commission.  The truth is that the Army just doesn't pay enough for enlisted to afford even a mother's helper.  I know that Congress makes it look as though they pay the troops a lot of money but they don't.  If I was working they would still base day care costs off of the income we both make not just the soldier's income.  Kind of like welfare program with the sliding scale of fees.  If you make too much you fall through the cracks with your attempt to better yourself.  If you don't attempt to better yourself you can't make ends meet on what they give you to survive on either.  By no means am I trying to compare GI pay to Welfare as the soldiers work hard to get their pay!

One of my friends is a soldier and she pays out almost $600 a month in day care expenses.  That is almost a third of her income.  Crazy!  Then you have to figure in how she still has to buy food and clothing for her child and pay other bills out of the rest of that too besides food for herself.

Fully off the subject again as I can see.  Brain goes off tangent.  Yes well I need help with Eily.  But we can't afford it.  I have no energy.  I feel bad  that I can't run around and play with her.  Wishing I never had the damn surgery if I had known the recovery was going to take this damn long.  It still hurts to lift her. I still bleed every time I lift her.  Mind you the surgery was the 27th of January.  It seems like forever and ever long ago.

Today I go to the pain clinic and Monday I go back to the oncologist.  At least today I go pick up my Tens unit.  My old one died.  My new one is a co-pay of $80 but well worth it.  Hopefully Eily won't yank the cords off the thing while I'm wearing it if I have to pick her up.

Oh and I feel so guilty for having to put her in the play pen so often during the day.  I mean she is safe.  She has her toys.  I read to her.  She has room to move around.  I just feel like she is resenting me for not picking her up as often as she wants.  I pick her up for feeding, diaper changes and for naptimes which are done in her crib.

any advice?

Tuesday, March 17, 2015

Dolce and Gabbanna

Never will I buy Dolce and Gabbanna goods.

My baby is not synthetic.

Thank you.

Friday, March 13, 2015

More Details

All this past week my DH has had corrective action taken against him and most of last week as well.


Well why not!

He did take time off to be with his family.  Time off he earned.  Some of it was in the use or lose part that if it didn't get used soon it would be lost forever to be used.  Plus he is in his window to re-enlist which means that if he doesn't re-enlist all that leave left would be lost when he leaves the service next year.

So yes he was punished for taking time off to take care of his family.

Last week he was put on detail.

This week he was put on detail.

This weekend it is a four day weekend.  But not for DH.  DH has to work tomorrow.  Yet another detail. This one he was Volun-told to do.

Sigh...will it ever end?

Hopefully yes.

DH has high enough line scores for any job in the ARMY...his lowest line score on his ASVAB is a 131.

So DH is looking to make a job change.  He has been to see the retention officer.  Things look promising for DH.  He has to take a BMST (basic math science test) to prove that he is qualified for the job he is looking at.  He has taken the physical and done the blood work.  Just a few more hoops and a few more papers and maybe just maybe he'll get a chance to get out of here and into a new career in the Army.  The one he is looking into is actually one he wanted to do when he was a civilian before he was downsized at his engineering office nearly eight years ago.  Fingers crossed this works out.  It will mean a one year school but anything worth having means a lot of work.  After all DH and I have been through a year is just a drop in the bucket.

Tuesday, March 10, 2015

So Sick

I'm exhausted.

Fourth round of antibiotics.

I woke up in a cold sweat this morning.

Eily is teething.  She is also chewing the skin off of her hands.

This is the second week of sucking it up with DH back to work and no help at home.  I mean no help at home.  DH comes home exhausted and is of no help.  He is argumentative because of the problems at work that my medical leave has caused him.  He can't leave it at the door either.  So he causes issues at home.  I'm about to leave him if he keeps it up and yes I've told him just so much.

Work stays at work for the most part unless it absolutely has to involve the family.  For the most part it can be left at the door.  There is no real need to bring the stress of work into the family or the stress of the family into the workplace.

The bleeding hasn't stopped.  The more I lift the more I bleed.  I know where this could go.  I've read the letter that the doctor, my doctor, has given to my husband's employer if I'm not taken care of.  I could have to undergo more surgery, emergency surgery.  I don't want that.

I need sleep.  I need to put my feet up.  I don't need to be doing housework and taking care of the baby too.  I asked for a break for the weekend and I didn't get it.  I thought for sure that DH could at least give me the weekend off. But no.

Sunday I did four loads of laundry for the household alone.  Bottles, E's laundry, I helped to dissemble the crib to lower it to the lowest level for mattress.

I'm always the first one awake when she cries to attend to her needs.  Why is it that a man doesn't hear his own child's cries?  I mean this is with me taking vicodin, melatonin, and topamax before bed.  I should be knocked out.  But I still get up and take care of her because I hear her.  If I said in a whisper: sex, beer, food or even gun he'd be awake in an instant.

Friday, March 6, 2015

Swallowing My Pride and Sucking It Up Some More

It seems as though because of my Fibromyalgia I need to have a legal guardian.  Well at least according to the new  AR600-20 as of November 2014.  That really hurts my pride.  I mean I thought I was an adult.  I survived a divorce and I had fibromyalgia during that divorce.  I was diagnosed back in 1997 with it.

So yeah I guess my Mommy will have to be my legal guardian.  I just left her a message.  Good thing she is alive and only about six hours away.  Now that she doesn't have Dad to care for she could if need be come down to care for me.  But really I've been sick during deployments before, survived a head cold while taking care of a sick baby with him gone for training,  had a leg in a cast, been in an auto accident while he was stationed abroad for a year and still somehow took care of myself while living alone.  I think my track record shows that I can handle everything but surgery.  If I have to go in for surgery I have numbers listed in my wallet of who they can call on a red lined card along with meds lists and allergy alerts.

I mean I even have a living will and health care proxy.  Yes I even have a will too.  So I guess have a family care plan for myself to prevent the chaptering on my husband going through so they don't kick his butt out is fine.  I mean really why didn't they take care of this back in November?

Maybe it was because we were away for my father funeral?  Or was it because I was recovering from my brother trying to murder me? Or possibly both since they happened the same day.

Well good news, Mom said she be the legal guardian in the phone conversation I just had with her.  Now I just have to wait to here from DH and we'll work on ironing out this with his CoC.

Thursday, March 5, 2015

Quick Post

Third day of sucking it up.

Yesterday I tore open an incision.  It was also infected.  Great huh?

Back on antibiotics as soon as my DH gets the chance after work to go get them.  He didn't get that chance yesterday.

Eily is doing well.  I tore the incision open while lifting her of course.

I've also had to take on the house work again.  DH has no time for that either.

He has had a dressing down for even asking for an extension.

His CO has started the paperwork to chapter him out.  Why?  Well because DH doesn't have a family care plan.

He actually isn't required to have one.  I actually looked it up too.

Q: Who is required to have a Family Care Plan?
A. Generally, all Soldiers who have dependents and are either single or part of a dual-military couple must have a Family Care Plan. The requirement for a Family Care Plan applies to both Active and Reserv
e Component Soldiers, regardless of grade. AR 600-20, paragraph 5-5b, lists the specific categories of Soldiers for whom a Family Care Plan is mandatory. A Family Care Plan also can benefit other Soldiers, however. Although not required to do so, all married Soldiers who have family members as well as Emergency-Essential DA Civilians are encouraged to prepare a Family Care Plan.

We have it already set up in our wills as to the disposition of our estate, and our legal guardianship of our daughter in the event I should become unable to care for her or should we die.  That should be enough.  I guess it isn't enough or perhaps the CO didn't know about this document.  I told DH he needs to bring in the will when he goes in front of the CO tomorrow to show him that we did indeed have something in place already.  Perhaps this will hold him off from filing the chapter paperwork until DH can fill out the not really required paperwork.

That word encouraged should be changed to bullied or threatened in my book from what they are doing to him.

Monday, March 2, 2015

2nd Oncology Follow Up

Still on full pelvic rest.  Was told that I'm still doing too much.  Great.

Ya da Ya da Ya da


No lifting more than 10 pounds
No bending, pulling, tugging, reaching or squatting
No prolonged sitting or standing

Also Pelvic rest for at least 12 weeks

all was written on the note to be given to my husband's employer (the ARMY) when he applies for more leave and explains to them why I'm not allowed to lift our 20 pound daughter as of yet.

It isn't that I like being on sloth rest either.  I'm really fricken sick of it!!!!!  However, when I lift my daughter I bleed.  Yes, I've still had moments over the past few weeks where I've had no choice but to lift her.

I'm getting cranky.

Sure I can make up her bottle, clean her bottles, refill the bottles with water so that they are ready to go when needed.

I can sort her clean laundry from a sitting position on the floor as long as I'm not bending over or sitting for too long.

DH is running out of leave time.  We need to save some of it for court too.  I know I'll have to make an appearance as a witness and so will he.

I lost my key fob to open up the car today.  Some where between the house and the oncologist office.  Rather sucks.  It fell off.  I've had the dang thing for nine years!

My oncologist thought my daughter was so cute and looked so much like the Gerber baby he just had to take photos of her with his cell phone.  So I stood behind him to get her to smile for the camera.  Can you believe that they had never heard of the Cheerios necklace?  She was wearing/eating one while in the office which really helped in keeping her occupied.

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Shoe Shopping

Yesterday we took Little E shoe shopping.  Since we now have a toddler of sorts we need shoes for her feet.  For some reason I thought she had big feet.  Turns out Little Miss has small feet for her age.  Okay this is going to be interesting to find shoes for her I guess.  I was under the impression that she had big feet because all those sleep n plays were too small in the feet.  Has anyone else had that problem with the sleepers being too small in the feet too?

Well since J and I got a gift card from his folks for V day I went shopping for E with it at Carter's.  Shoes were on sale and I had a coupon.  I bought her two pairs.  First size was a 2 but I decided since her toes were at the very end a 2.5 ( 6-9 months ) would be the best fit for now and I also bought a size 3.5 (9 to 12 months)  in the same color; silver.  We'll get her sandals for summer weather when that happens later on.

Cute little bug last night decided to walk around a bit in the store to make an impression on the clerks too.  They couldn't believe how young she was and walking already.  Sad fact was that the only shoes that fit her were the crawling shoes.  Little E still isn't crawling all that well.  I'm sure she'll master that at some point.

Does anyone know when it is safe to allow the baby to sleep on their sides?  Little E keeps wanting to sleep on her side.  I keep moving her to her back and she just rolls to her side again.  Should I just let her roll to her side and let her stay that way?  She is only 7.5 months old.

You can see her new shoes up front.  Her Laura Ashley sneakers are there along with her Justin boots as well as some dress shoes, slippers and a couple of hats in her basket.  Yes I'm reading to her from the Harry Potter series right now.

Saturday, February 21, 2015

7.5 Months Old

Little E is WALKING!!!

J yelled to me to get into the nursery at once.  I came flying in as fast as I could considering I'm not allowed to run this soon after surgery thinking something was wrong with the baby.

He apologized at once for not telling what it was that he needed me for with his frantic voice.  He has been working with Eilonwy for weeks now on walking.  He too was an early walker and was walking right around 8 months of age.

Wishing I had grabbed my camera.  Eilonwy took three steps on aided by hand before she dropped to the floor.  OMG we have a walker!

Time to get the baby gates and child proof the house!

I should have known she was going to walk soon  as she went from walking in two of his hands to just one handed walking last week.

She gets so excited when Daddy asks for her hands to stand up and walk with him.  I know she is going to miss him when he goes back to work next month.  Looks like he'll be doing more than that soon according to the newspaper headline too.  Now if only we can get a straight answer from his chain of command.

Hoping to do the re-enlistment thingy soon.  Wow hard to believe it is time for that already.  With the budget cuts we were delayed in coming to this duty station by a year and a half and it might be time to already say good bye to it by next year.  I'm not going to mind that too much.  Housing here is terrible if all you qualify for is a two bedroom in the enlisted quarters.

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Giving Back Where We Can

I know that quite a few of us infertile bloggers have had losses.  Some of us have had given birth to a stillborn baby or early infant death and gone through the wringer washer and somehow made it out the other side.

A new friend of mine gave me a link today to a place that gave her some peace of mind when she recently lost her baby, a stillborn due to a blood clot at 37.5 weeks.  I'll share with you all now that link.

They provide Memory Boxes which contain a burial gown, bonnet, blanket, and an envelope for the baby's hair, a copy of "Morning Will Come", and a Blanket all wrapped in tissue paper that is acid free.

They need folks that are willing to help out by donating their time to make the gowns, money for the fabric and pattern, and so on.  Details can be found at the website.

I'm thinking that when I feel a bit more up to it giving this place some.  At our old duty station I used to make blankets for the wounded warriors.  Well babies need blankets too.

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Antibiotics are Crap

I'm hopefully imagining things but I'm rather doubtful.  When I had the surgery three weeks ago I was put on three different kinds of antibiotics that were rambled off to me the night I spent in the hospital.  Something, something, cipro.  Okay at least I recognized one.

I got home and developed a bad pain when I peed.  I told the nurse.  No it wasn't the pain you get when you have a UTI.  I've had two of those.  It didn't hurt when I actually peed but rather when I finished peeing like when I used to have a uterus and my ovaries and  I'd get a nasty ovarian cyst tucked between the bladder and uterus type pain.  Still they gave me an antibiotic.  This time Cipro by itself.

Last week Friday I had the sutures taken out.  The doctor on duty at the oncology office didn't like the drainage because well it was pus.  Yes pus and it was red around the incisions.  More infection.

This time I was put on Keflex.

Five days into the Keflex I'm still producing pus and the incisions are red.  WTH

I just took a shower and was really gentle around the incisions.  I mean it isn't much pus.  I've never had an incision get infected like this before.  It isn't like it is in swamp territory either.  This is three inches above my naval.  Last surgery I had minimal drainage from the uterus being removed but that was normal and needed no antibiotics which is surprising considering that had 19 staples in it.  Three of the four incisions are red this time around.  But should I be surprised considering this is the same hospital that I saw the cockroach on the wall in the in-patient area for the MRI?  Not like Tricare gave us much choice of where to get this surgery done.

Monday, February 16, 2015

Monday: A not so Micro blog post

I'm not so sure how long this will be as I wanted to do an update.
I'm alive or at least I think so or it is the ghost of me with the grainy eyes full of pollen dust typing away at the computer posting this blog today.

Eilonwy is doing well at her Baby Led Weaning.
Tonight we are having chicken for her to grab at while we have at it with asian spiced rice and peanut thai on our plates.  Too many ingredients for her so she just gets the chicken alone.  However, we will give her a rice cake and water to go with her dinner and some yogurt as well as fruit.  Not so bland.
No more teeth as of yet, just the bottom two.
I bought her a Doidy cup and some NumNum spoons of which should arrive tomorrow.

As for my hysterectomy and salpingo-oophrectomy, so the doctor warned me the other day I was doing way too much.  K said that I'm going to have my intestines fall out the cuff or cup if I keep it up since the cuff or cup isn't fully healed yet.  She also explained that it is life threatened if that happens.  Air could get in and kill me.  Oh great.  So yes, I won't be allowed to do laundry since I have a top loader.  I can sit there and sort it but not tug on it to get it out of the washer and put it in the dryer.  No more trying to help J out around the house.  He can do it all by himself.  The Army can bite my butt.  I know they don't care about me.  I know they want my husband back to work and that is all.

The cuff or cup is the skin flap inside they have to create when a female has her reproductive organs removed.  It is the barrier that prevents the intestines from coming out of the vaginal canal as was explained to me.

Saturday, February 14, 2015

Happy Valentines' Day

Just two of my most favorite beings in the world taken by my other favorite one.  Aren't they just cute together?

Hope all of you have a great Presidents' day weekend and if you have a sweetheart I hope you are enjoying your time together with one another.

Tuesday, February 10, 2015

Seven Months Old

Little E turned Seven Months old.

She is into everything.

She is still walking in J's hands.  I suspect next month she'll be trying to walk without his hands as for now she clings to furniture and tries to walk a bit without his support already.

She has decided she likes her push and go bike.

I realize that this toy is meant for a child that is 12 months old but as you can see she can put her feet on the ground and push off easily enough.  This is a photo of her mounting the bike.  Sometimes it is so hard to believe that she can't crawl all that well but is trying to walk on her own.

Her newest feat is that she has untied an over hand knot.  I'm not lying to you folks unless my spouse is lying to me and I have no clue why he would lie to me.  I made three cheerio necklaces for my little one.  I knotted the string on the end to hold the cheerios in place when stringing them on.  Then when finished I knotted the finished end to the first end in an over hand knot.  It was that last knot, of which was done tightly and the ribbon was grosgrain mind you, that she managed to untie!  The child is going to have to be watched closely from here on out.

I ordered another toy to aid Little E in her walking process. 
It should be here soon.  I've heard good things about it and I hope that she enjoys it well enough.  Have any of you used this toy to help with the walking of your child or a child you have taken care of?  If so did you like it?

As for my surgery healing...well it could be better.  I'm still in pain.  Seems like one of the incision sites is infected.  Today one of the incisions decided to leak pus.  I called the nurse about it to let her know.  I'll be seeing my doctor for the two week follow up later this week.

The FRG here hasn't even acknowledged that I might need help.  They know I had surgery.  The day I got home from the hospital I got an email reminding me that I had a meeting that night.  I responded back reminding them that I had major surgery and that I'd like the notes sent to me. Two weeks later nothing has been emailed to me.  No phones calls,   No visits at home.  Such a shame considering our FRG leader goes to my church and is a singer there too.  She seems friendly enough.  Her husband is in my husband's direct chain of command too.  Oh well.  Her husband would also know that we would be needing information and possibly help since J would be soon needed back at work.

On that note. ...they tried to make him go back to work.  They forced him to sign back off leave yesterday.  They made him do a new leave packet this morning.  He had to bring with him to work this morning our daughter since I have a lifting restriction of 5 pounds.  His first SGT threatened to take J's stripes.  Oh dear, yes it is that bad.  J has plenty of leave saved up.  There are no field ops going on.  There are no overseas missions going on right now.  There is nothing to prevent him taking leave especially medically necessary leave for family.  What the problems is right now I don't know.  Funny thing is that they are actually encouraging other soldiers to take leave right now.  So yeah why are they busting on my spouse?

And the Army goes rolling along.

Tuesday, February 3, 2015

One Week Post Surgery

I'm healing.  I know I'm healing because the incisions are itching.

I'm still bruised.  Hopefully the bruising will go away soon.

The glue is still pretty much still intact.

The muscles are still cramping up.

Motrin has become my go to pain medicine.

Today I went grocery shopping for food for Eilonwy and it was hard on my body.  I couldn't wait to get home and don some sweat pants.  J forgot to put her car seat behind the driver's seat so I had to sit upright.  That was rather painful.

But we made it through the shopping and are home without popping any of the four incisions open.  One of the incisions has decided to pucker.  It is rather disturbing to me.  My fault I guess since I am a doormat and decided to do too much the first day home.  I cooked and did laundry.  I had to put my foot down the by the fourth day and explain to my spouse that he has this leave time off so that he can nurse me and take care of the baby not so he can be babied.  Since then I've been without having to do housework which is good.  Oh I've been fending for myself for most meals still but my husband doesn't like to cook.

Here is a photo of one week past surgery of the incision sites:
bruising is better, still swollen and left side still hurts 

Thursday, January 29, 2015

And They Are Out

I'm glad to have the last of the reproductive organs out.  I'm sad that I won't be able to have more children.  I gave up on the genetic ones a while back but I did enjoy being pregnant.  Adoption is expensive.  So I guess J and I are done with one.  Unless I win the lottery and that would mean I would have to start playing it in order to win it.

I'm having a bit of trouble accessing my medical records online right now.  Seems that the medical staff neglected to give me the pin before releasing me and it will take three business days to get me a new one.

All I know is what my doctor told me in the recovery room.

"I had to do a lot of digging to get your ovaries out.  They were a lot bigger than they should have been for a woman your age.  It was a mess in there when we opened you up."

In my head I was saying, "I told you so".

I'm in pain.

I have diarrhea.

No thank I will not be needing the stool softner nor do I usually need it either.

The four small incisions are about an inch long each and going horizontal across my abdomen at about three inches ABOVE my belly button.  I thought they would be below but I thought wrong.  I guess the doctor wanted to work above any potential scar tissue from the prior incisions which is a good idea.

I do have bruising.

I gained three pounds from the IV solutions.  I'm hoping that the water pill I take will help get some of that bloat back off as I walk around the house.

For pain I'm using the codeine meds mostly at night and the motrin round the clock to prevent the muscle spasms.  My left side is the worst for muscle spasms.  It was also were the most scar tissue was too during the pre screening.

Once I get my eyes on the medical records I'll let all of you know more.

Monday, January 26, 2015

Endo Pain and Bleeding

Last night the pain was horrible.

I was curled up into the fetal position wishing I were dead.

I had forgotten just how bad the cramps and bleeding could be.  I mean where the heck could all these clots be coming from?  I don't have a uterus left!  How much uterus did they leave up there?

I guess I'll just have to ask questions tomorrow after surgery if I am coherent enough to do so.  Or have my husband ask the questions if he can remember.

In about 10 minutes I'll be taking that nasty magnesium citrate.  Yuck!

J isn't home yet for lunch.

E is asleep in her stroller from the walk we took this morning.  I still find that exercise helps to relieve some of the menstrual cramps.   Geez I thought menstrual cramps were all behind me.

Please let this be my last menstrual cycle!

Hoping that all goes well with the liquid diet today and the surgery tomorrow.  I'm so tired from a night of no sleep.  Hard to type.

Saturday, January 24, 2015

Final Weekend Binge

***Warning what I'm going to discuss will be disgusting at the end****  (Pun intended)

I'd like to say I'm giving up junk food for Lent but it isn't February yet.

I'd like to say I'm headed on to a new fad diet.

I'd like to say that I'm going to eat healthier.

No none of that.

Monday I get to drink at NOON the first bottle of Magnesium Citrate.  If that makes me poop clear...oh dear GOD clear, then I don't have to drink the next bottle two hours later.

Pooping clear.  That is going to hurt.

Yes I would know.  I've had a colonoscopy before.  But this isn't for one of those.  I only wish it were because I would be able to get up from a nice twilight sleep with very little cramping and be on my way.

No on Monday I'll be going through major surgery with organ removal.  They want my colon and small intestines cleared out in case, while removing the endometriosis and adhesions, they nic it they don't infect the pelvic cavity with the contents of the bowels.

I have images of the robotic arm going crazy and slicing me up like a bad 80's science fiction movie.  Oh I realize the chances of that are slim to none but still I have a very active imagination.  With that active imagination I have been having troubles sleeping even with the 10 mg of melatonin taken each night.

Again I just stated my case to my spouse that I'll need him home after lunch on Monday to watch Little E while I go "shit my brains out".  There is no way with my spastic colon I'll be doing otherwise.  If he can't be home that afternoon before the surgery I don't know what I'll do honestly.  I'd hate to just put her in the playpen and let her scream while I attend to my business in the bathroom which will be frequent trips.  Even with being on an all liquid diet for 24 hours I remember well that I was still passing mucus the next morning and it hurt.

Thursday, January 15, 2015

Having a Period AFTER a Hysterectomy

Yup you read the title of this blog post right.

The bleeding that I had over Christmas week was in fact a period.  I had my follow up appointment with my Oncologist Gyn today.  The reason why I had a period was something that I had time to research and think about; uterine tissue was left behind.

See a hysterectomy is the removal of the uterus.

On the 27th of this month I'll be having an oophrectomy and I'll be having my cervix removed too since that likes to also bleed if touched by even a long cotton swab as evidence today in the pelvic exam and date with the dildo cam.

Dr. Richards will be having a general surgeon by the name of Dr. Christmas scrub in as well.  They are expecting this to get a bit complicated and Dr. Christmas also is familiar with using the robotic device in surgery.

One over night stay and I'll be back home again.

12 weeks no sex.  Um, not like I have much of that now because of pain anyway!

But it will be nice to no longer get periods at all.  I had really thought that having the uterus removed 6 months ago the day after I gave birth to my beautiful daughter would have ended that nasty part of my life.  I thought wrong.

Wish me luck and keep me in your prayers on the 27th.  I'll try to post again before that as I have jitters and am eating my emotions right now.

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Growing Pains of Teething

Little E still has no teeth but she does have plenty of crying, pain and drool.  I'm hoping that soon a pearly white will rear its head so that her pain lessens.  It has gotten to the point, at the beginning of each feeding,  she pushes away the spoon or bottle unless she can chew on them only.

She is getting so big.  No longer are folks telling me what a small baby she is.  They are often mistaking her for being a one year old.

She is taken steps when I hold her hands.

She loves to dance when I hold her hands and music is playing.  Just yesterday she was dancing to The Count as he was counting to nine with the beat of the music.  So cute!

She loves to shop.  Yesterday I took her shopping for a few fill-in items (socks and a sun hat) and some bigger sizes for her closet.  Of course, like most babies her age, she is attracted to the bright colors.  When I placed neon pink pants on the counter to purchase my husband commented on how bright they were and I explained that she liked them.  Yes, I give her some choices in colors and patterns.

Her fairy godmother, my long time friend from NY and maid of honour, sent a care package addressed to my daughter.  In it was more clothing.  N loves to shop which is good since I don't care for it much.  When N comes for a visit we'll go shopping with E and I'm sure those two will have fun.  I have no problem paying for E's clothing I just detest shopping with those bright lights boring into my eyes causing a headache and the pushy people.

I saw the pain doctor in Savannah yesterday.  I want to get better and I will have to start with drugs first.  If the drugs don't help they'll move me on to the next step.  I really don't like taking drugs.  For now I'm to start topamax back up.  I used to take it for my migraines but it is also used for fibromyalgia treatment Dr.K. told me.    Dr.K. doesn't like the idea of me putting off the carpal tunnel surgery for a few years.  I want to wait until E is bigger; maybe school age.

I'll be using tramadol for the pain in my various spinal areas.  I asked to not be put on a narcotic.  I'll be using lidoderm patches as well.  I was hoping for a new TENS unit but I guess that is in the far future.  My old unit died.

The oophrectomy is set for the 28th of January.  I'm not looking forward to the surgery but I am looking forward to the relief it is supposed to give me.  I'm hoping that Dr.R. will be able to remove all of the visible endometriosis and adhesions too.  The pain has been getting worse.  Also the idea of losing my ovaries and possibly not being able to tolerate hormone therapy is not so pleasing.  I have never done well with the hormone therapy even in the IVF and DEIVF.

Here is a photo of my little ballerina who did an accidental split this morning: