Thursday, June 30, 2011

Hurry Up Already

I'm so very anxious for tomorrow to get here.  I know its still officially 13 hours away and more like 20 hours until we hit the road.  I can't wait to start our vacation together.

We need this vacation.  I need this vacation.

I need to leave behind my cares, my worries, my responsibilities for a weekend.  I need time to just play and relax.  I know J needs the same.  Time together as a couple to discuss where we are headed on our next leg of the journey.  I've got three whole weeks with him and I plan on doing everything possible.  Ocean, Volcano, mountains, and foreign country are all on the agenda.

Last night I asked J to do a photo dump of his camera to his laptop so that he has more space for all the photos he will take.  He still has pictures from last year on the camera that he has yet to upload!  And no he didn't do it last night, maybe tonight he'll get it done.  Me, I keep my camera a blank slate and upload it often.

I'm bringing my camera with me on the trail ride and to the 18 hole championship putting course.  I'm thinking its sort of like mini putt but I'll know more when I get there.  I've only played mini putt once and lost my ball on the first whack. The ball went way over the fence and landed in Gaslight Village.  I'm way too strong on my swing to putt and need to learn how to golf.  I was the same with tennis and I'd lodge the ball in the chain link fence behind my opponent.  Okay same problem with volleyball as I'd knock out the ceiling tiles in the gym.  I need to learn to go easy and use a lighter touch.  This is going to be a challenge for me and I'm ready.

I have to say that I am a bit scared of the horseback riding.  Last time I was around a horse was last year and that was to groom and bathe one.  Riding, eh its been a long time.  I don't like thinking about taking a fall off a horse, did that the first time I ever rode.

The bags are packed, house sitter is confirmed, I'm ready to go. 

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Back In The Saddle Again

J agreed to the horseback riding and we set the date and time for this particular event.  We are going to the Eagle Creek Ranch, (photo from their website) before we even check into the Enzian Inn

Several phone calls were made back and forth between us and the ranch to schedule a private ride.  Its a holiday weekend and they were pretty booked up already when we made our call. 

I haven't ridden a horse since I was 16 and J hasn't ridden in about 8 years.  Its not like we don't know how but it is more like we are rusty.

I rarely road with a saddle folks.  I rode bareback with reins.  I'm not sure about being able to handle the feel of a saddle under my butt.  J told the lady that I'd need a couch type horse.  Gee thanks J.  He meant it in a good way.  I need a sturdy, easy going, wide butted mount.  Because I'm prone to back troubles and last night it started up again I'll be needing that gentle mount.

Eagle Creek does have weight limits for its riders.  Rather daunting though I did get on the scale today and I'm still way under the max weight of 240 lbs, I'm not yet my ID card weight, though not far from it, and it scares me.  What if they take one look at me and say I'm too fat for their horses?  The lady we talked to said that if I look to be overweight they'll deny me a ride or cut short the private ride.  What if I'm not my 5'7" when I get there?  If my back is bothering me overly much then I do have a tendency to shrink up to 1.5 inches.  That would put in close to the other borderline weight for a person under 5'6".  Yes they have weight and height imposed limits, not just weight alone.  So its possible, though doubtful, that I just might get denied a mount.  Like I said I'm not that fat and unless I binge eat in the next two days I don't think I'll get denied.  Still.....

Look I realize that a saddle and tack weighs about 40 pounds but seriously I'm not that fat and I know horses can carry two people at a time for a few miles without blinking an eye.  Even J was scratching his head on that one.  He can't figure out why they'd set the weight limit so low either.  Maybe its their insurance?

"What are the age and weight limits for horseback riding?

Age six is the youngest we can take on a trail ride (our insurance doesn‘t allow double riding, nor do we consider it safe). If you’re over 18, we don’t ask your age! For most riders, our weight limit is 240#, although that should be adjusted down and up according to height/weight proportions. For persons under 5 foot six inches tall, the weight limit is 200#, to accommodate their horse height and saddle size requirements. About 10 pounds per inch of height added is a good guideline for what will work well above and below those limits.  For those about 6 feet in height or taller, we can sometimes extend the upper limit to 250#. If that still sounds limited, consider the U.S. cavalry used to have a weight limit of 140#!"

Friday we'll be on horseback by early afternoon for a 6 mile ride at a walking pace, I hope.  Gee I really hope he doesn't expect me to break into anything like a gallop.  Its been way too long for that sort of stuff.  At least they provide helmets in case I feel the need for one.  With my crummy balance I might need one and a pillow tied to my butt too so that when I land it hurts less.

Tuesday, June 28, 2011


I was up late last night searching the internet for a better place to stay while in Leavenworth.  I had made reservations at one motel that J really liked because it was cheap.  I don't mean cheap in a good way either.

No the reviews of the place were mostly about how horrible the place was, including broken window latches, dirty sheets, dirty towels balled up in the bathroom.  Reviewers complained about the supposed breakfast buffet that was nothing more than one waffle iron, cold cereal and stale danish.  They also complained about the motel staff that was rude, inefficient and that no one was working at night.  I had to cancel that reservation, it was making my stomach burn with anxiety thinking about it being such a dump.  So I called them up this morning and canceled.  I just couldn't picture myself sleeping for two nights in a motel that potentially had rats and bed bugs.

J learned to be cheap.  I'm not talking frugal.  I'm frugal.  J is cheap.  Of course he isn't cheap when he wants something.  J thinks that buying in bulk, think products from China, is a good deal rather than buying a quality USA made item that costs a bit more but comes with a warranty.  It really is the most irritating trait he has.  Because its a learned behaviour its not like its going to change without a lot of help.  That is where I come in.  I was taught by my frugal paternal grandmother that you need to buy quality goods and services or you'll waste your money on shoddy goods by having them break easily.

Last night I was up until 0200 hrs reading reviews on the web for other places to stay in Leavenworth.  Thankfully I found a place. With the holiday weekend being the weekend we start our vacation and Leavenworth celebrating the Kinderfest this weekend finding a place to stay was tricky.  The place I made the new reservations at was my first choice all along.  This place has a hot breakfast, omelets made to order, fresh danish and other breads, sausage and other meats, all of which is included in your stay.  This place has two pools, one indoor and one outdoor with a jacuzzi too.  For $60 more per night than the should be condemned  motel we are getting a big room with two queen sized beds, the single queen bed room was $5 less per night so I opted for the bigger room.  Oh and the stay also comes with complimentary use of the putting green.  I come from a family of golfers and its a darn shame that I never got to play the game.   I really look forward to staying at the Enzian Inn.

"Enzian guests are invited to enjoy our indoor and outdoor pools and hot tubs, table-tennis room, racquetball / basketball / wally-ball court, and fitness room.
A complimentary round of golf at Enzian Falls Championship Putting Course is also available for each guest. The course is open mid April through October and provides an entertaining challenge for the golfer and non-golfer alike. Equipment is provided."

I haven't read one bad review for the Enzian Inn.  Its close to down town which will be ideal for us since we plan on shopping.  Maybe I can get cheapskate, I mean J, to kick in for some horseback riding over the weekend too.

I do love my husband.  I just want him to realize that sometimes if you want to enjoy life you need to pay for quality time outside of the home.  I know he'll get a better night's sleep in the hotel I chose versus the one he chose.  I know I'd sleep a lot better with the knowledge that the door and window locks actually work and that no bugs will be crawling over me in my sleep.

The Enzian Inn is also on Facebook.  Check out the photos of the place for yourself. 

Maybe we'll even get the chance to do some horse back riding.  I've found a place with good prices meant for the inexperienced like me and the experienced like J.  So I'll try to talk him into it tonight.

On a really happy note, they are now putting down the sod on my lawn.  Finally I might see that hideous wire fence be removed from my back yard and the wooden one put back in place.  Its been torn up since Easter Monday.

Monday, June 27, 2011

Negative And A Negative Equals A Positive

Photo by me of my poppies in bloom.

My husband is a pessimist.  I'm an optimist.

My husband has a higher than normal IQ.  So do I.

Somehow my husband thinks that if we have a child our high IQ's will create a child dumber than a box of rocks.  I think otherwise.  I think that with our patience and education our child will have an advantage.  That is if we get the chance to have a child.

The bleeding has stopped.  The pain has not stopped.  Last night I was so nauseated I thought I would lose my dinner.  The fertility drugs always cause havoc with my digestion.  I'm still hoping that I will indeed end up pregnant this cycle.  But I plan ahead for that negative.  Maybe J's pessimism is starting to wear down my positive out look.

Its now CD 16, 6dpO, and 8 days till testing.  We want to get out of town and do some sight seeing.  I have to realize that this cycle could be a failure and I must plan the vacation we want to take around the fertility treatments.  With J's training schedule finally being known it means that I have just one more cycle to try until he leaves.  I have to take advantage of any time we have together.  Sure I could have his sperm frozen but if I can avoid that added expense then I will.

So with our calendar planned out around a possible next cycle we made the reservations for our first part of our vacation journey.  I have a house sitter on call and she is fine with taking care of everything here for us.  I'll have no worries about dead plants when we get back or leaving my house unattended.  All with be fine as if we never left, I hope.

We have booked a two night stay in a lodge at Leavenworth.  Neither of us have been there, though we've been planning on going since last October.  Training issues caused us to cancel that trip last year.  So we rain-checked it for the coming weekend.  If you want to check out what there is to do in the area along with us click on the following link;

Yes I'm taking a risk with all the pain I'm in.  I realize that an ovarian cyst rupture is quite possible.  But I need this vacation.  We need this vacation.

I'm already planning our next getaway.  J would like to head to southern Washington.  I chose Eastern this time so after his choice I'm choosing the beach, Westport, which is on the western side because a friend told me that agates are easily enough found while walking on the beach.  Of course that will just leave a return trip to northern Washington of which we did last year.  There is still a lot to see up north, a lot that we missed last year.  We never got to walk the Dungeness Spit because of weather and the fact that its 5.5 miles long one way.  No cars are allowed on that road either.

In-between the overnight trips we plan on taking several day trips depending on how I feel.  I'd love to do the Seattle Underground but its walking on uneven ground for miles.  We'll see how I feel when we get the chance for that trip.  We might sneak in a train ride in Chelais while heading out to one of the gun shops J wanted to visit.  But I'm more inclined to seek out the antique shops while he looks for guns.  If we have time for it we'd like to check out Moses Lake, Lakewold Gardens, and the Museum of Flight.  J's been to the Museum of Flight with his family but that was about 16 years ago.

Things that I never got to do as a kid but always wanted to do are on my list like mini putt and go-karts.  Much as I love camping, I'm no longer in shape to do so and J just detests camping in all forms.  He'd rather stay at a B&B and with comfort in mind I think I do too now.

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Getting To My Happy

Finally I'm ready for the weekend.  I'm ready to get my own Happy on.

Its not going to be easy to find my happy today in the midst of chaos.  J flooded the bathroom when he didn't put the shower curtain liner inside of the tub.  Fun time cleaning that one up with several soaked towels and two soaked bath rugs.  Add on two loads of laundry to my domestic responsibilities today.

Part of I-5 is closed and will cause a three hour delay in getting anywhere north of JBLM for the weekend.  They are working on the bridge that takes us into the town area we like to shop in.  I wanted to head out to the craft stores this weekend and find a hook I needed for a project.

I'm still having pain and bleeding.  I'm now 4 days past ovulation with 10 days until I can test.  At this rate I'll not know if I get implantation bleeding or not. 

I'm really going to search long and hard to find my happy this weekend.  The day isn't even half over so I still have another 36 hours to this weekend and I plan on making the best of it.

My hanging tomato plant broke.  I still have five more tomato plants in the ground.  Usually I just do the tomato plant in the hanging basket.  With not enough warm weather this Junuary (Junuary = January weather + June) my veggie and fruit crops aren't producing well and some not at all.  So I've decided to buy some more potting soil and start over in that particular hanging basket with some flowers.  Better than nothing, right?

Looks like the weather is going to hold and I'll be able to go to a green house and flower cage to select my plants after all.  It wasn't looking so good before with the dark grey clouds.  Just yesterday I was wishing for a nice thunder and lightening storm.  We got the thunder and rain but no lightening.  Still it did remind me a bit of summer in NY but not to the scary awesomeness I'd of wanted.

So that's all I have for today.  I'm off to go find my happy today.  I won't stray far due to the pain but I'm still going to go have some fun or die trying.

Friday, June 24, 2011

And So It Continues

Photo by me two years ago.  Tree frog on my sunflower.

I haven't slept yet and its now 0643 hrs.  I tried to sleep but the pain kept me awake.  I even took a hot bath before trying to retire for the night.  No luck.

Tylenol isn't cutting the pain.  Oh and the bleeding picked up. 

My vacation plans are now out the window.  I had already decided to fore-go the cruise to Alaska because of the fertility treatments.  Now it looks as though I won't be able to go far at all.  I'll have to stay close to home and near the hospital if the pain and bleeding continue.

I'd love to just get the heck out of Dodge for a few days.  I need to escape the house.  But even a bump in the road right now causes extra pain.  J won't mind spending three weeks at home but I will.  I really looked forward to our vacation.

In the beginning we had planned on taking a trip out to Yellowstone.  Then it became a cruise to Alaska.  Now I'll be lucky if I can take a day trip to the beach.

I'm not looking for pity.  I'm looking for understanding.  I just don't understand why I have to suffer when trying to get pregnant.  I don't understand why this whole process has to be so difficult.

I'm angry.   I'm cranky.   I'm in pain.

Looking out my window behind my computer monitor is often relaxing when I'm this upset.  Sometimes it can be rather amusing.  Other times it can be quite shocking.  Right now I see cat and bird.

Silly hummingbird is trying out all four plastic flowers on the feeder.  Is it thinking one is more tasty than the other?

The neighbor's cat is grooming itself in the front window.  Does that make it an exhibitionist or me a voyeur?

3 days past ovulation and 11 more until testing.

I want my Summertime.  I want the heat of the long summer days and bonfires on the beach.  I want to put my bare feet up on the dash of the truck while J is taking us for a drive.  I want to hear the crickets and frogs at night as I fall to sleep.  I want the thunder and lightening storms of summer.  I miss seeing lightening bugs, we don't have them here on the west coast.  I miss surfing in the back of J's pick up truck.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Guess What I've Got?

Pain and bleeding.  I called my RE this morning and found out what the cause is right off when they returned my phone call a few minutes later.  The cause of my pain and bleeding is none other than OVARIAN CYSTS!  Yet again I have to suffer through another round of dealing with this crap.

It hurts to get horizontal, it hurts to have sex, it hurts to sneeze.  I'm now 2 days past ovulation and I was told that I know what to do.  Well what that means is that:
1) no more sex
2) no more jiggling
3) no more trampolines
4) take Tylenol and hope the pain goes away---yeah right
5) no heavy lifting

I'm about ready to scream and not just from the pain.  Seriously I only used the clomiphene citrate 1/2 a tablet daily for 5 days like instructed.  The RE's office nurse explained to me that even though the ovidrel made the eggs release from the follicles they decided to fill back up with fluid becoming corpus luteal cysts of large proportion, yet again.  She said that I seem to be prone to them.  Because for the next few days the fertilized eggs will be trying to implant they aren't going to do any poking around inside of me to check the size of the cysts unless the pain becomes too unbearable.  If it does I'm to go to the ER.

Last time I had a 9 cm cyst rupture and ended up going to the ER.

I just have one question....Why can't getting pregnant be easy for every female that really wants to get pregnant and hard for those that don't want to have children?

I'm cranky folks.  The pain is getting to me too.  I'm just glad I have on hand some percocet from last time.  I might need it again before this is done.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Occupational Therapy Update and Blog Award

First I'll get to the award.  My cousin  gave me the award yesterday along with also giving it to a few other people.  I first met my cousin not at a family occasion or gathering, but in high school.  For more years than I care to remember we've been apart as is most of my family until Facebook brought us together.  Now I'm learning all about Nik's life through her two blogs, suddenly single journey and what dreamers do.

I'm supposed to divulge some little secret about myself here because of this award however, I rarely keep much of my life a secret.  Those that follow my blog know I'm handicapped, infertile, an Army Wife, love to cook, sew and do other crafts when I'm not reading.  So what is left to tell?  And what do I feel comfortable revealing right now that I have been hiding?

I guess I could tell all you that I enjoy yelling at the television when a stupid reality show is on.  Why do I yell at something that is pre-recorded?  Well why do most men like to yell at the television when their favorite team is playing?  I guess because it just feels good.  There you have my confession.

I would like to pass along this award to four women that have made changes in my life via the internet.  First I'm giving this award to Stefanie who's real life and online friendship has meant the most to me.  Stef I love you gal.  Secondly I'd give this award to a gal that refuses to allow her fibromyalgia to get in the way of life, Sonja you are my hero.  Third I'd like to give this award to a gal that will tell you like it is, Sushi girl I only know by that name but you make life real.  And Last this award goes out to a gal that is having a really rough time with her pregnancy.  Another Dreamer you give me hope because you refuse to give up.

Now for my Occupational Therapy appointment this morning.  I was told I  have hypermobile joints.  No change was seen in the strength of my hands.  I have one new hand exercise to add to my routine because I have a pocket injury on my right hand.  Its just a muscle that got overused due to me using my cane this weekend.  The doctor told me its not likely to get much better as long as I need to use the cane and he said he doesn't want to go without my cane especially when my knee buckles.  So its not likely the pain in my right shoulder will ever go away for long periods of time.  Meh, such is life.  I go on. 

Time to go bake the cookies for the guys at the COF. 

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Blank Slate

Its a new day full of changes and opportunities and I can't seem to get my mind into any one particular thing.  Nope, nothing.  Its like my mind is a blank slate today.

Maybe I have no drive or possibly "low T"  if I were a guy.  I'm a gal so that's not my problem.  For me its more of sticker shock.  I've bought more than I planned for my schedule and I'm about to pay more than I wanted.

0430 hrs I was up and moving.  I had a discussion with my spouse this morning about the day's events.  He had to be up early as is his normal for the Army.  We spent almost an hour this morning figuring out what needed to be done, what has to be changed and where we are headed.

He had a briefing this morning.  Oh I knew about it because my FRG is that good about sending out information.  I knew but he didn't.  Or should I say I told him about it but he forgot?  I got another reminder about the briefing this morning in my email.  An email that was sent out at 2330 hrs yesterday.  Not like I'm going to be checking my email at that time of night.  So I didn't go today.  I had other plans.  The briefing was on the list but J was distracted.

Today my respite care worker will be here to help out.  Which means of course that I need to move all of J's stuff that he has let fall where it will.  Seriously he knew that today was the day as its in highlighted pink on the large print calendar in the kitchen.   Did I mention that he has been distracted?

If I am to have someone help clean up the house I can't expect the person to be moving his stuff when they are supposed to be only taking care of me and my needs.  So I picked up about the house to make vacuuming that much easier.  I cleared off counter tops so that they could be cleaned with chemicals.  I have asthma so I don't use chemicals myself as I like being able to breathe.  I really wish the whole world could be scrubbed clean with just lemons, baking soda and vinegar but I have to be realistic, most folks would rather use chemicals.

I signed on to my facebook this morning only to find out that a friend's mom has died.  I never got to meet her mom but I feel bad for her all the same.  She had a long struggle with cancer.  May she rest in peace and may her family find the courage to heal the hole left behind by her missing presence.

On a different note, has anyone stopped to think about the Bible?  I'm not that religious but I did have time to think over the weekend on one of the long drives to note that Genesis is talking about terra forming.   A god created the Earth, but was it a god or an alien?
Were we just species samples taken from another planet in another universe?
Or was there no one before us?
Wouldn't we be considered vain to think that we were the first race?
Wouldn't it be more prudent to think that we were cultivated much like a crop and transplanted when we were just seedlings to another garden (planet)?

My mind likes to wander on long drives and I think of odd things.  I'm like a kitten in a hamster ball.

Monday, June 20, 2011

Courage Is The Motto

Many of my friends have asked me about the ball I went to on Thursday.  Well now that the weekend is finally over I guess I'll get to the weekend round up.

It takes no small amount of courage for me to don a dress, heels (yes I decided to wear high heels), war paint and go out into the public eye.  I'm very afraid of most people and how they judge me.  Or should I say how the women judge one another.  We do judge each other and often find each other lacking in many ways.

So I went to the ball.  I did have a good time.  I didn't get to dance.  I broke a heel.  It was a rather interesting walk back to the car might I add but at least my shoe survived until 2200hrs.  That was when the dancing was to start.  After the speeches of two generals, one being a four star my back had enough.  I didn't mind standing for the 8 toasts, the flag ceremony or any other time we were required to stand.  But the sitting was getting to be rather intolerable.  I would have gotten up to walk around but protocol dictates that one must remain seated, unless its an emergency, through the speeches unless directed to stand.

J made the jewels I wore to the ball.  I have to say I'm really partial to his craftsmanship.   Already my mother has asked where her's are as in she wants a set.  I got to pick out the gems and the design he was going to use.  J knows many different weave designs and has used most of them in various projects.  I'm very proud of his chain maille.

The meal was so-so.  I've had much better food and for $40 a ticket I must say it wasn't quality.  I had the chicken plate.  The chicken was greasy, the potatoes were tasteless but the small amount, about 1/4 cup of green beans with carrots were excellent.    The wines offered were far from a decent quality.  I'm not a snob but I do know my wines. 

Would I go again to another ball?  Sure.  I met a few people and made a few friends.

Friday was spent up in Renton for the most part.  My husband found a yard sale that he wanted to go to because they were selling gaming books.  Unfortunately when we arrived some one had already cleaned them out.  Isn't that the way it normally is?  So we ended the day going to a local gun shop in the Tacoma area.  J was happy.

Saturday we went to a gun show in Centralia.  I made the only two purchases there.  I bought J a concealed holster for his birthday.  For myself I bought an old compass.  I saw it and was able to talk the guy down to half the asking price so its mine now. 

I just had to have this compass for some reason.  Maybe it will lead me in the direction of my heart's desire.  Maybe it will give me the courage that I need to go where I have to.  Who knows?

Sunday was unremarkable and I'm glad it was.  I needed a day to catch up on my laundry.

Today I had my ultrasound.  1/2 tablet of clomiphene citrate seems to be doing the job.  I have two follicles, 28 mm and 30 mm, on the left ovary.  I was given a shot of ovidrel and told that I didn't need the IUI because J's sperm count is so high.  Why waste the money?  Okay so I'm good to go.  Now with any luck I'll actually get pregnant this cycle.  Fingers crossed that we have a quality egg in the pair.

Now is the time that I need to find my direction, my path and step onto it with courage, patience, and faith.  Wish me luck.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Update Tomorrow

Okay I'll make a better blog post tomorrow.

I have a few picture of the ball to share and maybe one or two more that are still going to be sent to me as well as the ones I took.

Tomorrow is my ultrasound to see if I have any ripe follicles.  I'll let you know how that goes too.

I'll give a weekend round up while I'm at it too.

For now its a long weekend and I plan on spending my time with my spouse enjoying it.


Thursday, June 16, 2011

Preparing For The Ball

painting by Alfred Stevens

Tonight is the Army Ball that is being held to celebrate the 236th birthday of the US ARMY.  Happy Birthday!  Let's party.

Today I finish all my preparation work so that I can look as normal as possible at the ball tonight.  I say normal because my dress is ill fitting no thanks to someone who is not to be named.  Yes I'm still livid about that incident.  I wrote about in my blog one day about my former respite care worker.

My jewels are laid out.  My shoes and stockings are ready for me to don.  Every part that needed hair removed has been cleared.  Now its just time for me to shower, style my hair and dress for the event.  I can't believe that I'm actually a bit nervous.

I opted for ballet flats instead of heels for tonight's affair.  Why?  Well because I've broken both ankles, have tarsal tunnel syndrome, plantar fascititis, and basically unstable ankles.  Oh, plus I'm handicapped so I'll be lucky if I get in any dancing at all tonight.

If it was a full sit down occasion I would opt for heels but not tonight.  I realize that my shoes will be seen but hopefully not frowned upon.  My dress is ballet length which is still appropriate for this occasion.  I'm sure there will be floor length, tea length, ballet and cocktail length dresses worn with hopefully very few mini length there tonight.  I find a short length dress highly inappropriate for this event.  But some think otherwise.  If this was a white mess event you can be sure I'd be wearing floor length however its just a black tie event.  I wonder if the Army still wears their white mess?  Probably not since most everything has gone to the new ASU.

Ah now the ASU does look rather fine but I do prefer the high waist-ed dress blues on the male figure.  There is just nothing better than a nice silhouette when in reference to the male derriere.  The lower waist line just does nothing for the figure in my opinion.

Off to get the rest of what I need done before show time.  I'm going to try like heck to enjoy myself to the last bit tonight.  I'd like to dance, hold my soldier close and make memories to last me a lifetime tonight.  Now I'll leave you with this music video to enjoy instead of more of my blathering.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Moon Sickness

A few days before a full moon I have troubles sleeping.  It never fails.  My body always knows when its going to be a full moon.

Tonight is a full Sun Moon, the moon of Aradia.  Its a great time to make a magical brew.  Or so I've been told.

For me this just means another night of little or no sleep.  I would celebrate this full moon tonight if we weren't in a little ice age here in the Pacific Northwest.

Speaking of a little Ice Age.  Seems that because the solar flares are going to quieten down a bit we are going to be experiencing for quite a long time this cold weather here.  I guess I should prepare for one extremely cold winter too.

The heat kicked on earlier today, no more than about an hour ago and its closing on noon here.  I keep my heat set on 66 so that should tell you just how cold it is here.  There will be no dancing sky clad under the moon tonight.  More likely I'll be seeking out my winter coat just to step outside.

I get more restless around a full moon.  I find it harder to concentrate and write a coherent blog post.  I have more energy and no place to use it which makes me one cranky witch.

So with that said I'm ending my blog post for the day and I'll go try to find something to expel some of the energy.  Maybe some cleansing will work.  First the body, then the mind.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Tick Tock, Scattered Thoughts

My mind is everywhere and on everything of importance to me and my family today.  I'll eventually sift through it all to find that which has to be my number one priority.

First off today I'd like to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY US ARMY!  I'm proud to be married to an US ARMY Soldier.  I'm proud to be an Army Wife.  Our ball is just two days off and I'm really excited about the celebration of the Army birthday.

Secondly I'm thinking about yesterday's ultrasound appointment.  I think it went quite well.  I still have one cyst that is measuring 13 mm on the left ovary.  Its a far cry from the 7 cm it was before and I'm happy to have it shrink on its own.  After the rupture of the 9 cm cyst on the right ovary I was worried about the two cysts on the left ovary doing the same.  We were told that we finally have a green light on sex.  YAY!  Something else to celebrate.

We were also told that I'm still fertile enough that we could possibly try on our own with ovulation prediction kits to get pregnant.  However, we opted for the IUI and clomiphene citrate therapy.  Its an egg quality issue for us with my age not a quantity.  I have plenty of eggs just not very good ones.  The RE cut my clomiphene citrate dosage in half.  He said one whole pill is  too much for me since I'm so sensitive.  So I'm now taking 1/2 pill daily for the next 5 days.  I really hope that such a small dosage will still do the trick.  We really want a baby.  I'm scheduled for my next ultrasound on Monday.  Fingers crossed we'll see some ripe follicles.

My third thought is resting on my blood pressure.  I had it measured yesterday at the appointment.  For the past few months, due to the intense cyst pain, my blood pressure has been really high.  There are major concerns for my blood pressure since I am on medicine and it should not be 160 systolic with over 100 diastolic.  As luck would have it my bp yesterday was down to 125/60.  I haven't seen it that low in years.  I guess being so tired and sleep deprived is working on some parts of me.  I'll take it.  I still have to be on the blood pressure medicine labetalol of 100 mg twice a day but, I'm just happy that its finally getting under control.

My final thought is with my husband.  Things are rather sketchy for him right now.  He has a lot of paperwork to fill out and he might end up with a job change this fall if things don't get approved.  On the other hand another set of paperwork is in the works and if it gets approved he might have yet another choice of job change.  I can't discuss further the details as all of it still isn't where it needs to be.  Even if it was where it should be I couldn't talk about it until it was a done deal. 

I can only imagine how much stress my husband is under right now.  Work, change of work, change of location, change of mind.  So much change is going on in his life.  There are days that I have no clue what to expect from his moods.  The worst of his moods would be akin to not having one's morning coffee, or at least that would be the worst he'd let me see.  He must be bottling up his emotions.  He really is stoic.  If I were in his situation, being the fact that I'm hot tempered, I'd be yelling.  But I'm not him and he isn't me.

My thoughts always come to rest on my husband.  I'll be sending good thoughts and positive energy his way.  I want things to work out the way he wants them to be.  I want him to be happy.

Monday, June 13, 2011

New Clothes Plus New Cut Equals Happy Me

Yup this is me.
No makeup.
Just a smile.

My dark circles testify to the fact that I haven't been sleeping well in weeks.  Not much can be done about that.  Still I don't think I look all that bad for a gal that is almost 42 years old.

Yesterday I spent over 5 hours at the beauty salon getting my hair colored, cut,  and straightened.  I'm not about to divulge the price but lets just say that it was costly and I'm not going to be doing it too often, even if I do love the result.

I think the main reason I went to the salon this time is because my tendonitis is too painful for me to hold a coloring brush for long enough to do my own hair.  I admit that I need help getting my hair styled and colored now.  For years I've been doing it myself and when I feel up to it I might just do it again.

My husband likes the new cut and color.  He says it makes me look younger.  I'm not so sure about that however it does make me feel happier.

Over the weekend I went out and purchased several clothing items.  I refused to pay full price of course.  So I hit the clearance rack and to my joy they were offering an additional 50% off of the already marked down price.  I managed to snag a pair of Pendelton wool dress slack for only $15.75.  They were originally marked at the Exchange price of $126.00.  The only thing wrong with them was that they were missing half of the hook part.  Easy fix for me since I sew.

I also purchased a new pair of sneakers.  Its been three years since I had a new pair.  Its about time I broke down and bought a pair of sneakers.  I purchased several blouses, some for dress wear and others for pairing with jeans.  I saved about $300 according to what I added up on the tags.  Just another reason to smile since I only paid about $80 for all the garments.

I'm up early this morning doing a few loads of laundry before I head over to the RE's office for my transvaginal ultrasound.  Need I say that I'm not looking forward to this appointment.  I think it might be the only reason I won't be smiling today.

Friday, June 10, 2011

Bare Shelves At AAFES Exchanges

The following photos were taken by Kenneth Randy Whitehead.

Now what I'd like to know is this:

How much longer until we get our shelves stocked?

Last night I was in the Exchange here on Lewis Main and if I wanted junk food I could have purchased that in large amounts.  But I didn't want junk food.  I wanted to replenish my personal care products.

Unfortunately what was to be had for personal care products wasn't what I needed.  Sure if I needed sunscreen I could have purchased that but I wanted face cream.

If I wanted dvd's I could get those too.  But I wanted feminine products an all together different format of plastic mind you.

My husband who came with me had a hard time finding his favorite energy bar.  He likes to have something in his stomach before morning PT.  Luckily there were a few left but not much in choice so he ended up getting 9 bars of the same flavor.  Its something and I should be grateful for that at least, right?

Its a good thing neither of us had a headache or stomach ache as the OTC shelves are getting to the point they look as empty as the manual tooth brush selections.  Mind you there was not one manual tooth brush left on the shelves last night.

I've been to the Exchange at McChord and things aren't much better.  They are also out of the same items.

Our commissaries at Lewis Main and McChord are also experiencing empty shelves.  So how is this just an AAFES problem when supposedly DECA is government run?  Conspiracy or budget cuts?

I just don't get it.  Why are we not getting the stock?

Is this part of the budget cuts?

I know our military benefits are on the chopping block but seriously why are they taking away from us before the budget has been settled?

If anyone who is reading this can figure out why the shelves are bare on more than just one military installation please let me know. 

I've been told by various employees their theories of it being a new vendor, a new inventory system, limited goods.  So which is it?

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Comparing Garden Years

My first year in this house on JBLM was 2009.  That year it was a scorcher.  Temps that summer reached 100+ and my garden thrived.  My sunflower were above the window sill by June and growing even taller by the end of the summer.  Tall enough to hide tree frogs.

I planted three varieties of sunflowers that year. Red velvet which looks rather a rusty color, teddybear ones that are more of a tall pom pom and the generic yellows.

The pom pom ones reached the tallest heights while the yellow generic and red velvets reached the same heights.  I was okay with that since my garden looked beautiful.

June 2010 the temps were a lot cooler.  I still planted the yellow and red sunflower varieties along with the pom poms. When compared to 2009's crop my sunflowers didn't reach the window sill at full maturity.  Most died off.

The purple violas and strawberries did quite well last year.  Wish I could say the same for this year.

This year my sunflowers have yet to reach the height of the second brick.  Our temps are reaching a blistering 69 here today.  Highest we've had all month is in the low 70's.  Not much sun here this year either.  My strawberries are hard green berries still and not looking to produce much of edible delights.  The only thing in my garden that is growing well would be the rhubarb.  The rhubarb seems to love the cool, wet weather we have here.  I should go cut some and make some rhubarb crisp this weekend.  Maybe I'll get a second cutting of it before summer is out.

This year for splendid display I've had to go out and buy hanging baskets.  I like having a nice dwelling.  My green onions are growing though slowly and the tomatoes have a few buds on them.  I doubt they'll produce anything of size this year.  The pepper plants have no fruit yet either.  Oh well.

So this is my hanging garden on one side of the house.  The hummingbirds sure do enjoy it and I'm happy that someone is getting something out of it.

See if you can find the sunflowers in the back row.  Yes they are that small.  Pretty bad when the yarrow and lemon balm in the front row dwarfs the sunflowers.    Also in the bed is green onions, strawberries, dahlias, snap dragons, hollyhocks and campanellas.

The rest of the flower bed in front.  With the same flowers I mentioned above.  I do have more photos of the two other beds but lets face it, they aren't spectacular.  Just rhubarb, lemon thyme, parsley, rosemary, campenalla, carnations, birds foot ivy, snap dragons, delphinium, poppies, forget me nots, pansies, and tomatoes.  If only my garden would grow as lush as the years before.  I need some sunlight and warmth for my plants soon!

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Goody Goody Gum Drop Cookies

Today I'm baking Gum Drop Cookies for the soldiers at the COF.  I really hope they like them.  So far the batter is mighty tasty so I have hope that the cookies will be equally tasty.

Last week when Animal Control was here he was telling me how his Ma would make 30 dozen cookies a day.  Wow, 30 dozen cookies daily.  Rather daunting.  But I guess she had her own bakery or boarding house or just was really bored and baked for everyone in the neighborhood.  The guy told me his favorite cookies were his Ma's gum drop cookies.  He said they were made using a basic chocolate chip cookie dough batter but substituting gum drops for the chocolate chips. 

I did a bit of research on line and found two gum drop cookie recipes that were quite close to that particular description, then I made my own recipe.  The above photo is the batter just before refrigeration.  With any luck the soldiers at the COF will enjoy them as much as the chocolate peanut butter chip cookies that they so adore.  Maybe next week I'll make those for them again.

Here is my recipe for the Gum Drop Cookies:

1 cup butter softened
2 cups firmly packed light brown sugar
2 whole large eggs
1 tsp. vanilla ( I make my own vanilla using several whole vanilla beans and about 500 ml of vodka which then has to cure for at least two weeks before using)
1 tsp Celtic Sea Salt (Salina Naturally brand)
3 1/2 cups All Purpose flour
1 tsp baking soda
2 cups chopped fruit slices (aka gum drops)

Cream the butter together with the brown sugar.  Add in the vanilla and the eggs.  Sift together the flour, baking soda, and salt in a separate bowl.  Slowly add the flour mixture to the creamed ingredients.  Note: this is much easier using a stand mixer than a hand mixer.  Finally add in the chopped gum drops on a low speed or by hand.

Chill for one hour in the refrigerator.

Pre heat oven to 400 degrees Fahrenheit.

Drop by rounded teaspoon onto a  well greased cookie sheet.  Bake 10-12 minutes at 400 degrees Fahrenheit. 

Makes 5 dozen cookies.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Finding My Happy Place

Yesterday J and I interviewed a person for my respite care.  Looks like we found someone that might just work out.  She's older, a former medic in the military and quite familiar with fibromyalgia as a relative she used to care for has the medical condition.

Now its just up to me to allow a complete stranger into my life.  Its all about trust.  Its hard for me to trust someone with the intimate details of my life.  Do I really want someone to cook, clean, and do my gardening?  Not really, but I don't have much of a choice since I need the help and J is going to deploy.

We agreed today over the phone to have it come down to once a week care.  I can't handle having a stranger in my house on a daily basis.  I guess I got spoiled by my first respite care worker B.  I miss B.  She was a real gem and didn't make me feel useless.  We worked on projects together.  We even planned on having tea together after she left the respite care network but our scheduled never matched up.  I'm happy to say that B has moved on and is now a lawyer and an Army Reservist.

Much of my problem is feeling like I'm useless if I let someone else take care of chores that I would rather do myself.  Its not so much pride as position.  I am the wife of the house.  I have a position here that demands that I take care of matters while my husband is away.  Unfortunately I don't always have all the energy to get the tasks accomplished like a "normal" wife would in a short period of time.  Twenty years ago I was able to work, clean house, cook, and still find time for myself all in one day.  Not now.

So now that I'm letting a complete stranger into my life I'll have more time to find my happy place again.  Its going to take time to get over the self-imposed guilt trip and relax but I can only try.

In other news, at 0715 hrs I was at the optometrist office getting my eye test done so that I can send in my renewal form to the NY DMV.  My eyes, though I had a headache, were within normal limits of 20/25 each eye and 20/20 together.  I'm good to go for another 8 years.  I might not drive all that often but having a license means I have the freedom to go where the road to happiness takes me.

Now to go research our block leave trip plans.  I think we've decided to ditch the cruise to Alaska in favor of day trips that I can better handle.  I'm learning to live with my limitations and its about time I did so.  I'll be less cranky when I learn to control my life and have a few less flares.

Monday, June 6, 2011

Crying Uncle

Its barely 1100 hrs and already I'm ready to cry, not just "Uncle", but cry.  The back pain woke me up.  I've been trying to get more restorative sleep by taking benadryl.  Why benadryl?  Well it helps ease some of the symptoms of  Restless Leg Syndrome.  With the symptoms of Restless Leg Syndrome lessened I move about the bed a bit less and with any luck I'll fall asleep.  Down side is that it does raise my blood pressure and leaves me with a very dry mouth.

Yup I'm whinning again.  But I am trying to cope with the issues as they crop up.  Tonight I have an interview with a potential candidate for my respite care.  I hope that she will work well for us.  If not we'll just have to keep looking.

I wanted to cry this morning because I dropped my electric razor when shaving my legs.  Thank you tendonitis for the electrical pain in my hand causing me not to really just drop it but to toss the razor to the floor.  I stabbed a finger shortly thereafter with a blunt object.  Its okay its clotting nicely.  But what really hurt was when I brought a load of reds out to the laundry room and found that I had left over night a load of darks in the washer.  How could I forget that?  They are now being washed again.  Letting wet clothes sit over night in the washer gives them a nasty mildew smell.  J was looking for some of his uniform stuff last night.  It just never dawned on me that I totally forgot the last of the five loads in the washer.  I swear I even looked in the washer and saw nothing.  I hate fibro fog.

I called J in near tears but had to leave a message.  I've had it.  I admit to failing now.  I feel so useless.  I'm angry at myself for not being able to do everything that I want to do.  I'm angry at the world.  I'm angry when I see able bodied pregnant women when I shop.  They have what I want.  In my mind I feel like I need to compete with other Army Wives and their routines.  I'm always playing catch up and failing miserably.

To add further insult to myself I stepped on the scale and found out that I did indeed to forget to eat enough food and drink enough water yesterday as I've gained 1.4 pounds in a single day.  I had one meal yesterday and it was at 2000 hrs.  J remembered to eat.  I totally forgot.  Maybe he should remind me to eat.

Some of you probably don't understand how someone can forget to eat.  Its not like I was extremely busy yesterday, just involved in laundry.  But often I do forget to eat.  When I miss one meal my body goes into starvation mode and starts storing fats the second I remember to eat, which is usually two meals too late.

I really can't wait for this "flare" period to be over with.  I need to stop beating myself up over it too.  Flares happen for a reason.  Its my body telling me I was doing too much and not taking care of myself like I should.  During a flare I need extra help.  Its not that I'm useless but its more like I need others to be more patient with me because all my chores are going to get done at a much slower pace.  Luckily J is starting to understand that even I need down time.

Blogging for me is a good way to keep track of what I've done and how my body is affected by what I've done.  So if it seems as though I'm complaining a whole lot just remember that I'm blogging for me and me alone.  I'll rant about topics that get my dander up.  I'll blog about health issues.  I'll blog about nothing in particular at times but its just me letting go of something that just needs to be said and recorded for my own reasons.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Too Much On My Plate

The photo on the side is what my husband likes to put on his plate, not what I put on mine but it is a plate from my cupboard no less.

Too much on my plate is more in a reference to my busy schedule, busy mind, and worn out body.  I need to find a healthy balance and what I'm doing is just not healthy.  I need to take care of me.

Today I'm trying to do some laundry, five loads to be precise.  I need to feel useful.  J has been helping out almost an hour a night with the housework and I feel guilty like I should be doing it and still making couple time.  While trying to do the laundry I forgot what to add to the water and what order things should be done in.  I put the wet clothes into the dryer, set it and walked away.  I went back into the laundry room when the next load was finished washing and ready to be switched to the dryer.  But to my surprise I found only wet clothes in the dryer because I forgot to turn the dryer on!  Its so frustrating.

The chaplain gave us an assignment the other day:  find time for each other doing an activity together.  Okay that really does sound easy.  However, weekends are spent grocery shopping, running errands, doing house hold chores and that doesn't leave time for us.  By the end of the day I'm just too tired to even cuddle.  So how am I supposed to make time for us when I don't even have the energy left to draw a bath?

Today we went to the PX to make a payment on my birthday gift which is on layaway.  J is getting me a nice easy to ride bicycle.  I need easy right now.  Easy is about my speed.  Outside of the PX was the Softub display.  I've been wanting a hot tub for a while now. I might be able to get a prescription for a softub which would mean I would get small amount of it reimbursed because I have Fibromyalgia and a bunch of other debilitating conditions.  I could easily afford the four person hot tub but I don't know if I could use it.  Why you wonder?  Well we are trying to conceive.  Hot tubs aren't good for sperm count and I don't really want to run the risk of brain damage to a fetus when I do get pregnant.

Now that brings me to another part which is the biggest section of overload on my plate.  I'm so tired most days that I can barely take care of myself.  How am I to care for an infant?  Its not like I'll always have my husband around to help out.  He works and his job takes him to exotic places where he could get killed.  He goes away for training for long periods of time.  He works more than 40 hours a week, sometimes up to 80 and that is just when he is back here. 

Am I being foolish in wanting a child? 

Would it be fair to a child to have me as a parent if I'm so tired I can't play with him or her like most "normal" parents could?

I have so many doubts circling in my head.  I know what I want but can I handle it?

Friday, June 3, 2011

Pet Refuge

 It seems as though the animals in the neighborhood have designated my dwelling as their sanctuary.  Last year I was on rescue duty for a yellow lab puppy that like to escape its fenced in backyard.  She would come over to my yard and play with me.

This year I've had more than one cat late at night come into my fenced yard only to run when I tried to open a door for it.  Wednesday was the neighbor's English pointer that I took in until the owner could be found.  See the picture of the dog to the left and slightly above.   Last night around dinner time it was an orange tabby.  See the photo below taken in my dining room.

I always keep on hand cans of white albacore tuna.  I guess its a good thing because I've fed more than one cat an emergency meal of tuna, milk, and water all in separate bowls of course.  J and I took turns going up and down the street as the soldiers came home asking if any one was missing an orange cat.  There are several orange cats living on our street.  It was on my final round about the neighborhood that I got lucky and found this particular cat's owners.  I was about ready to send my spouse out for cat food, and a liter box too since it was already past 1900 hrs.

I can't say that I liked how either the dog or cat owners treated their pets.  Why do people have pets if they are going to ignore them?  Why do people have pets if they are going to neglect to feed them.  This particular cat was scrawny, dirty, but yet loving.  It wanted attention, food, and a warm place to stay.  It was making itself at home in my house and it would still come up to me and rub against my legs too.

In trying to find out who owned this cat my husband happened to walk down to the English Pointer's house.  From what he told me he saw that particular dog has a good excuse why it would want to run away.  I think I would too.  If it wasn't for the dog being chipped I would have found a way to keep it.  But as a child when a pet of mine would wander off I felt devastated.  I had to have my pet back.  That is the only reason why I try so hard to find out who owns all these animals that come into my yard.  I think I'd keep them all and have my own zoo if possible.

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Growing Pains Of Change

Yes, its another posting about Fibromyalgia.  I'm beginning to think that its ruling my life.

Due to total exhaustion I didn't get out of bed until 1033hrs.  I'm such a sloth.  Most likely its because of the very full schedule yesterday. 

Yesterday I got up with my spouse and stayed up.  There was just no room for a nap or down time in my schedule.

I had 4.5 dozen cookies baked by about 0730 hrs.  The guys at the COF are now enjoying them and it pleases me.  By 1130 hrs my power was being shut off.  But the time in between 0730 hrs and 1130 hrs was spent gardening and wrestling with a neighbor's dog that escaped their fenced in back yard. 

Oh I admit I loved playing with the Pointer named Bella but I didn't enjoy her jumping on me and getting me muddy thus creating a wardrobe change before half the day was gone.  I put her in my backyard and played fetch with her while I was waiting for Animal Control to come and get her.  They scanned her chip, found that she lived just down the street and called the owner at his work place to come and get his dog.  All is well with Bella.  I do hope to see her being walked on the street by her owners.   The most I could do for her was to provide her with a safe environment away from the cars, me to play with and a bowl of water.  I'm thinking that I should keep dog food or dog biscuits around for when she escapes again.  The Animal Control officer told me that the owner said she escapes a lot.  I cried when I had to say good bye to her.  I really miss having a pet and she is very affectionate too.

By 1340 hours my power was being turned back on.  So that meant I had to go about the house plugging the appliances back into the sockets and resetting the clocks.  Yes, in case of a power surge we were instructed to unplug all electrical devices.

We still have an open trench in the back yard.  I wonder when that will get filled back in.  I'm really annoyed with how high our grass is getting and no access to one part of the yard so that it could be mowed.

1530 hrs and I was back home after an appointment at the FLC (family life center).  I come home to find two workmen in my house.  There was no written notice stating that the workmen, other than to shut off and turn back on the power and check serial number on appliances, would be in my house.  One guy had his head and part of his body in my fridge.  I was livid.  WTH!  Seriously you don't need to be groping my food to check for the serial number on my fridge which is located just barely inside the appliance.  I asked what he is doing in there and he said routine maintenance check.  Sure.  Rounding the corner to go use the bathroom I find another man in my hallway.  WTF!  He was installing two more smoke detectors and a carbon monoxide one.  Leaving a mess of white paint and walling on the floor and not wearing the shoe covers thus tracking dirt through my house.

I called Equity about this blatant violation of my rights as a tenant.  I was given the number for their manager.  I let into him and he said he had no idea why they were there.  He knew that the only written notices I was given were for the routine check with the power being turned off, not one for installing a single item.  He apologized as he also knew we had on notice in our records that they were not to enter in to my house without my permission due to the fact that we own firearms.  I was pissed.  He promised to speak to the person managing this workman team and call me back first thing in the morning.  He never called today.

I couldn't hang around.  I felt violated.  My house had basically been broken into with a spare set of keys.  I left and went with my husband to his work place.  I had yet another appointment to go to in two hours so I might as well go clear my head elsewhere.

1700 hrs I'm at the dentist office.  I have a cavity that is two surfaces and needs to be drilled.  Okay big deal.  Its the last one of the bunch of broken and cracked fillings to get fixed. Only a little pain was felt.  More today because most of my teeth have fractures in them due to Bruxism.  I need an occlusal guard, night guard if you will.  It might just be covered because if I don't have one I'm going to lose my teeth.  My dentist is going to get back to me to find out if it is covered.  When I got home I looked up my dental plan and from what I found out, "Occlusal guards are covered by report for patients 13 years of age or older when the purpose of the occlusal guard is for the treatment of bruxism or diagnoses other than TMD.  Occlusal guards are limited to one per consecutive 12 month period.".  So I should be allowed to have one.  We'll see. 

I had an occlusal guard years ago that I had to pay for out of pocket.  I'm not sure what hurt more, wearing it and it not wanting to release and me trying to claw it off my upper teeth, or the fact that I had to pay $425.00 US for the dang thing and not have it fit properly.  I ended up throwing it out.

With any luck the one that I should get will fit me better and be easier to remove.  Thus with a proper fitting occlusal guard I'll have less headaches and mouth pain.  My jaw may no longer be growing new teeth but teeth can shift about over the years with bruxism, not just having them grind down to nubs.  I'll just have to get used to the pain and pressure of wearing one. 

The Respite Care Provider list finally showed up in today's email.  Its such a pain breaking in a new provider and somehow they always fail me.  I'm a push over.  My husband will do the interviewing this time.  Hopefully I'll find someone willing to help me out with the daily chores that I try to do.  Its a real blow to my ego admitting that I need help when I look so normal.

Today I'm breaking in a new occupational therapy worker.  I'll have to be so honest that its going to hurt.  I'll have to work hard if I'm going to break through the first levels of pain so that I start to heal.  I don't like wearing my wrist splints.  I don't like being poked and prodded either.  But I have to grow up and admit that I need to make a change in my lifestyle so that I can do more with less pain.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Waiting For The Power To Go Off

Well I have to say that its only about 0834 hrs and I've accomplished quite a bit this morning.  Because I'm waiting for the power to be shut off at my residence for electrical work in the trench behind the house I'm rather in a rush this morning.

I got up with J at a little after 0500 hrs and have been going since.  I didn't have much sleep last night and I'm already looking forward to the possibility of a nap later this afternoon.  Somehow I doubt that will be possible with the heavy equipment that will take up residence in my back yard today.  But I can still try.

By 0600hrs I was showered, dressed and making the cookie dough batter.  Thus the picture of the eggs above.  I decided to make the chocolate chip cookies for the soldiers at the COF this week.  I even purchased a new container to put the cookies in for transport.  The other was one of those cheap disposal metal pans.  I was always afraid my husband would leave the tray behind and someone would throw it out so I refused to use a good pan for transport.  Now I have a rather large Rubbermaid container that I could actually put a dozen or so cupcakes in with comfort.

The cookies are now baked and stored in the plastic container.  I still have yet to see the workman do much but finished edging out the trench in my back yard.  I really hope that they get their butts moving soon as I'd like to get the power restored before I have to leave today.

I have an appointment with the Family Life Center on post today.  I'd like to be able to go to it with my husband but someone has to stay here while the work is being done.  No, I don't trust Equity to access my home while I'm away.  I don't like the idea at all considering we own some rather valuable items.  So I'll stay here until they are done today.

Tonight I have my last appointment for dental work.  After this its just the routine cleanings, I hope.

Align Staffing has yet to email me with the list of Respite Care Workers in my area.  They said they would, but I'm still waiting.  I'm rather annoyed too with them.  They said last year that they would email me the list and they never did.  I wish there was a supervisor that I could call and complain to but all I ever got was a recording.  A recording that was absolutely useless as no one would make a call back, well not until yesterday that is and that took 7 months.   Some government contracted workers are absolutely useless.

Well enough complaints.  I'm going to shut down J's laptop and go read a book while I wait.