Monday, September 30, 2013

Endometrial Scratching and HCG Drop

A close friend of mine recently pointed out to me something that I might want to ask my doctors about: Endometrial Scratching and HCG Drop.  My friend has had her own history of loss in trying to get pregnant.

So today I emailed PNW with the information that my friend supplied to me and am awaiting their response.

You can read more about the Endometrial Scratching at the links below:

Now about the HCG Drop, some of you might have already tried this one.  The HCG Drop is done just before the embryo/s are put back into the uterus to help with making the body think it is pregnant.  Very simple idea and one I'd love to have my clinic agree to.

We'll see if they respond to my questions that I sent them in an email today.

Sunday, September 29, 2013

Meet The Cat

Last night one of the stray cats that we feed decided to join our family.  I swear it was almost like that cat food commercial because it was a bad stormy night last night.

We had the advantage because we knew the cat's name.  A family two streets over knew their cat took off a few months ago and didn't care.  A friend of my husband's was staying with that family and happened to like that cat a lot, to the point that if we had gotten the cat in the house just two weeks earlier he would have gone home to Texas with this particular soldier.

J called his friend yup last night to let him we have the cat and to offer him up if his friend still wanted him.  The guy said it was too far to drive but knew that we would take good care of the cat.

This cat is so friendly.  He loves to head butt you in the chin when he crawls on top of you.  When you pick him up he doesn't just go to one shoulder or the other he wraps both paws around your neck and hugs you.

I'll be calling the Vet this week to get an appointment to get the cat seen, vaccinated, chipped and so on.  Luckily he doesn't seem to have a flea or ear mite issue that I've noticed.  Some scratching is evident but it could be a dry skin issue too.  Since his ears are almost stark white I think I would have seen the ear mites at least.  He is shedding like crazy.  I've brushed him out twice now and still he is shedding.

Hoping that I can fatten him up a bit since he is definitely underweight.  That of course just makes me angry knowing that his previous owners didn't even care.  I talked to them once and I think they are now gone or will be in the next day or two.  They ETS'd.

Well he is my responsibility now.  We are still going to feed the other stray cats and maybe we'll get another one to come inside with any luck.

Yes he already knows he is adorable!

Friday, September 27, 2013

CD 1 The FET is on!

Today is CD 1 and I started my birth control.  Yes that very pack of birth control that I had to explain in detail to Dr. Gillard was necessary to get me pregnant.    I still think she needs to go back to med school.

I've been cramping with bend over moaning pains off and on for two days before I started to bleed.  I already know this cycle is going to horrible.  With any luck I'll look back on the beginning of this and say it was all worth it as I go through every known emotion over the next few months.

I reminded my husband last night that the Alora patches make me very cranky the night before a new patch is applied.  I found out why when read all about the side effects online.  I really wish I could have gotten pregnant an easier way.  Must remind myself daily this is all worth it.

I'm eager, I'm excited, I'm elated!  Thank you God for gifting me this chance.

Thursday, September 26, 2013

We Have Two

The other day I announced that J and I had one embryo.  We found out a bit later that we will have two beautiful blastocysts to transfer.

We decided to transfer the one blastocyst we created using J's sperm and a donor egg and we are also going to transfer a donor embryo.  Yes we have two!

Maybe it might sound a bit confusing to some.

Maybe a few will be scratching their heads as to why we'd transfer a donor embryo as well as our own embryo.

I'm over joyed to have the chance to bring life to two embryos even if they aren't my genetic embryos.  I honestly don't care if I don't know which one will be my husband's embryo and he doesn't care either.  Which one will stick we don't know.  Maybe both, maybe one, maybe none.  I'm secretly hoping both stick.  I'm a bit greedy.

Of course in the end I just want a drama free pregnancy and a healthy take home baby.

Around mid December we will hopefully be doing the transfer.  Too far away for me but all good things take time.

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Promises for a Better Future

J and I had a long talk yesterday.  He brought home an anniversary card and he apologized.  He made promises to do better by me.  I'm hopeful that he'll actually try to fulfill those promises.  I try to not be a door mat mind you.  However, being an Army Wife does mean that I have to make a lot of sacrifices.  We are scheduled for a marriage counseling session for tomorrow afternoon.  With any luck we'll be able to address the issues we have and get some insight on how to fix them before they become worse.

For those of you that are teachers you might have a bit of an idea of what I'm going through.  J brings his work home with him nightly.  He has counseling statements, daily plans for PT and work details that have to be written up now that he is a team leader.  I'm all for getting your work done but when family time becomes a sacrifice because you not only worked late but also brought home with you more work I get cranky.  There are just so many days in a row that I can deal with being ignored and that is 5 consecutive days which is the normal work week.

I didn't marry a soldier, I married a civilian that decided to serve his country after being married  for 1.5 years when he got downsized at his former job.  I've been  married to a soldier before so I do know what it is like to sacrifice family time for work.


  • I don't like to be forgotten
  • I don't like it when best made plans get shelved
  • I don't like it when he can't be there for those infertility appointments.  He might not even be there for the transfer of our embryos (yes there are now two and not just one but I'll get to that in another blog post).
  • I don't like it when he has to forgo sleep because he gets a CQ shift at the last minute because somebody didn't schedule things properly and the person that was supposed to have the shift can't for some darn reason mucking up all our plans.
  • I have to swallow all of my negatives and redirect them to a better outlet because I can't do anything about any of the above with the exception of the first one.
  • I can remind him often that I love him.
  • I can tell him that I support him.
  • I can tell him that I'll still be here waiting for him when he gets home.
I promise too that I'll work harder on this marriage to make a good life for the two of us and any future children.

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Bronze Anniversary

Today I celebrate 8 years married to my husband.  It hasn't always been fun.  It hasn't been easy.  There are days I want a divorce and never to see him again.  But other than the normal marriage roller coaster everything is usually good between us.

However, my husband has forgotten our anniversary.  He is busy right now.  Really busy preparing for some time away.  I've dropped hints.  I've sent him emails.  I've all but circled the date in red on the calendar.

Last night I made my husband go shopping with me at the Exchange for some much needed replacement clothing that luckily was on sale.  I spent under $50 on one pair of jeans, two t-shirts, one long sleeve shirt, a hoodie and a new nail polish.  I'm a bargain hunter.  During the shopping I told him to go and do what he needs to do...wink wink.  I knew he hadn't bought me a card.

He wanders off.  A little bit later I hear the page for help at the jewelry counter. I get a nice warm smile on my face thinking finally he remembers.  I'd of been just happy with him getting me a card and a rain check for a nice dinner together.

I have my clothing purchases all set in my cart and wander off to go look at nail polish.  On the way to the nail polish I find my husband looking at shoes for men in the shoe department.  My face fell.  Why did I get my hopes up.  Most likely it was another lonely-hearted female just looking at jewelry.

My husband smiles when he sees me until he notices that my lips are pursed in anger.  His hands are empty.  No, not even a card.  He forgot.  I pulled my cart off to the side and asked him why he was in the shoe department?  He said he didn't think of any other place to go besides the bathroom.  I guess he thought I wanted to be left alone to shop.

I explained to him that I know he didn't get me a card, I know that he forgot our anniversary and that shopping was a ploy that evening to give him a chance to get me a card.  You should have seen the look on his face.  He was caught.  He did forget.  He got all apologetic.

This morning I find on my place mat at the table a hand written apology.  Mind you I suggested to him that he make me a card with crayon or marker or something before I get up in the morning.  He wrote the following:  Rebecca,
This is not a card written in crayon because I am not a child and will not intentionally act like one when I need to be serious and mature.  This is an apology and a prayer for my misbehavior, bad attitude and immaturity.  I do love you, I am sorry and I will make the future better by being the man you deserve not just the man you need.
Happy Anniversary
Love J

Now I feel like crap for asking him to make a card with crayon or marker.  I wasn't insinuating that he was a child.  Ugh!  I feel like such an ogress for wanting a damn card.  But it is our wedding anniversary.  I didn't ask for a gift, just a card.  Just a, "hunny I love you and I remembered even though my schedule is hectic I put some thought into this and am showing I care about you and us as a whole.".

Well that emotion is now mine to deal with and for now I'll call it guilt and selfishness.  I detest his passive aggressiveness.  Oh and I highly doubt he will remember next year either.  Each year it has been getting worse.  Birthdays, anniversary, Christmas any time most men would jump to show their spouse that they are loved he "forgets" even though he never forgets a slight, a hurt feeling of his, or an angry emotion.

I either have to learn to live with this man or leave.  I love him but I wonder if at times that the love is one-sided.  I have heard his song and seen his dance and have yet to see anything but that afterwards.

Monday, September 23, 2013

Lucky 777

Just got word that we have a blastocyst!  Just one but all that is needed is one.

J and I will be discussing the other option that PNW just offered to us too.  Not sure if there is an extra charge or not.  I'm excited.  I have real hope.

I'm smiling from ear to ear!

Friday, September 20, 2013

Want vs. Need

Well I've complained often enough about needing a second vehicle.  Do I need one?  Yes.  But all I can find is gas guzzlers in the price range I can afford.

Last night J and I went and looked at an 88 F150 long bed short cab.  Price was good but the style wasn't.  We almost purchased it.  I'm still leaving it up to him.  Do we need a long bed pickup?  Um, no.  Would he have enough room in the cab for his daily stuff?  Um, no.

Seems like a simple enough decision right?  Well it isn't my decision to make.  However, after reading an email I got today I'm not at all sure I'll be wanting to let him make that decision alone.

Government Shutdown is looming.  Before most of you say it won't happen I'd like to point out the fact that we are in a sequester right now.  The government has been cutting our military to the bare bones too with no new equipment and a skeletal crew to police the nation and world.  Come now, we know that our military is now becoming the world's police force and I'm not going to mince words about how that pisses me off.

What a shut down means is said well in the quote from the article: "Servicemembers, meanwhile, were told they would stay on the job, serving a country that temporarily would not be paying them. But officials said troops and civilians alike would eventually receive all back pay.".  Oh and don't think they won't do it.  This administration is adamant about getting what they want at any cost to its people.

Their "eventually receive all back pay" is similar to their get a government credit card and put all your moving expenses on it and we'll eventually pay you back but you are still responsible for all charges and interest rates and it might ruin your credit rating while we get around to paying you back for the move.  Yes, again I'm miffed that they have been trying to force a government credit card on my husband.  We don't need it thank you very much.  I'd rather lay out all the expenses first and know they are paid for without having to worry about how it is going to get paid back and when they finally do cut us a check I can invest it rather than pay late charges that aren't covered.

So right now that need of a second vehicle has turned into a want and I can't justify the want.  It will have to wait.

Thursday, September 19, 2013

I'm Not Complaining

I'm not complaining at all at having to make more baby booties for my Etsy shop.  I'm actually ecstatic that my sales have picked up and I need to replenish my stock.

But my hands are going to hate me after I get done with the making of ten pairs of booties!  I'm guessing that people are having a lot of baby girls of late because it only certain colors that I'm running out of.  Mind you if I had a baby I wouldn't necessarily be dressing it up in pink or blue but most likely some crazy prints for the foot coverings.  I love my socks!  I have noticed that only the solid colors seem to be hot sellers.  So I'll stick with those.

I also need to get back to finishing up that blanket I had going for the wounded warrior project here on our installation.  I had it mostly finished when my hands gave out.  For a while it hurt to even pick up a fork to feed myself that is just how bad the pain got.  Nothing, mind you, in comparison to what the soldiers must be going through during their surgeries and physical therapy.

So if I'm a bit remiss in my blogging again it isn't because I forgot you, it isn't because I went on vacation, it will be because I'm busy with handcrafts and have yet to figure out how to grow spare arms.

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

I'm Not Blind Yet

Today I had my optometry appointment.  I will have to do a follow up for a field of vision test and photographs of my eyes but other than that I'm done for the year.  Too bad the soonest I can get in for the other two eye exams will be late January 2014.

My eyes aren't any worse then last year.  The doctor decided to lessen my contact lens prescription and I am quite happy with the new lenses.

I don't need bifocals.  As a matter of fact the doctor was pleasantly surprised to find the star shaped thingy, not recalling what it is, is still star shaped in my eyes as most people my age have it almost gone by now to an almost unrecognizable shape.

I saw Dr. Chow on the way into the hospital today.  He was happy to see me outside of the office.  So I had interactions with two different doctors that went well today.  Must be that lady doctor last week just had something against me.

I have stage one Papilledema. I'm not too worried about it since it is only stage one.  Kind of goes with the Non-disc drusen or was it just disc drusen he called it.  Well anyway I've got many more years before the two little blind spots in the left eye will most likely be added to.  Of course I'll still get the field of vision test done in January like he wants.  It really isn't that hard on me to get it done.

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Saddened By the Navy Yard Shooting

I'm just going to ask, "why?".  Why did this happen?   Why didn't security stop Alexis?

Monday, September 16, 2013

Mother Mother

Once I cracked the spine of the book I was hooked.  It was as if I were a character in the pages of a life I once lived.  Oh wait, I did live a very similar life once.

Being the adult child of parents that thought the way they were treating me was okay really mucked me up for becoming a stable adult.  Often I find that my emotions range from "I hate you" while screaming at the top of my lungs to mewling like a hurt child, with words uttered of "please don't leave me".

I grew up in upstate NY.  The places mentioned in this psychological thriller not only seemed familiar it was as if  I were walking in Violet's footsteps.

At times I am afraid to open up to any one about my childhood abuse.  I'm afraid to let it be known what happened to me.  It isn't like there are any siblings still at home to be abused.  It isn't like opening up now will help anyone cope except me.  It isn't like it will cauterize the open wound of the flowing memories.  Most likely if I were to open up to the family that hurt me it would just make things worse.  They don't realize what they did was wrong.

I'm not sure that I will ever be able to let go of the feelings that often course through me.  I know the nightmares often plague me before dealing with a stressful meeting, appointment or other life event.  Therapy can only do so much.  I've learned coping mechanism that have helped but they can't eradicate the bad memories.

One thing I have learned from my bad childhood is that if someone comes at you with a leather belt, plastic wiffle ball bat, or anything else that can be used as a weapon you run.  Oh and running to your bedroom where you don't have a lock on the door isn't so smart.  That door will get pushed in and your punishment will only be worse for making that angry adult have to expend calories to hunt you down.

If you know of a child being abused or you are in an abusive relationship then I highly suggest you try to find a way to leave.  Get psychological help for what has been done to you.  As a person that suffers from post traumatic stress disorder I know full well that the nightmares won't ever fully leave but they can be better controlled once you get out of the abusive relationship.

Getting help early is the key to helping you avoid an abusive adult relationship too.  I didn't get help at a young age and ended up in a relationship where I was abused until I filed for divorce.  Life can get better and mine did just that after I left.

A controlling mother, a missing daughter, and a family who is desperate for love. This post was inspired by the the psychological thriller Mother, Mother by Koren Zailckas. Join From Left to Write on September 19 as we discuss Mother, Mother.  As a member, I received a copy of the book for review purposes.

Friday, September 13, 2013

Well I Don't Like You


Today I went to see Doctor Gillard at Winder Clinic here at JBLM.  I saw her because I needed a referral to see the ENT.  I thought she was professional up until she commented back to my " I like you as a doctor" to which she replied to me, "well I don't like you".

Yes that is what she said.

She was supposed to just address my issue of needing a referral to see the ENT again.  She couldn't for the life of her understand why I would need another referral to see them as I was already established with them.  Well I was told by ENT that I needed a new referral.  She said to me that she thought it could possibly be a sinus issue causing my dizzy spell.  I thought not.  She examined me and found that I had no sinus issues.  My ears, nose and throat were normal.   I'm thinking: it would be nice if you would listen to me.

She wrote the referral but not after she told me I would need to apologize to Doctor Gillingham for asking for a second opinion and telling him that he was right when ENT can't do a thing for me while trying to conceive.  I said fine that I would tell him he was right if that happens.

Doctor Gillard believes that all the ENT will do for me is to try to prescribe me maxide but won't be able to since we are in the middle of a FET.  Well lets see last time I was at the ENT I couldn't take maxide either but they had a bunch of other things they could and did do for me and I ending up buying the Wii to address my balance issues like they wanted me to.  Yes, the ENT suggested strongly that I buy a Wii and it did help.  But it can't help when I'm having a dizzy spell.

Doctor Gillard also got all up into my face about me trying to conceive and being put on birth control.  I did explain to her that it is typically done with a FET and IVF.  She still didn't understand.  She also wanted me off of the synthroid, though I just started it today.  She looked at my thyroid tests and said I wasn't hypothyroid.   Well maybe not if I wasn't trying to conceive but any of my friends and followers out there that have gone through infertility treatments will know that your TSH does not have to be a 5 to be an issue with infertility and cause for use of synthroid to get it better under control.  I am following the orders of my doctors at PNW.

I would like to note that Doctor Gillard is black.  I can't say she is African American because I don't know if her ancestors came from Africa or not.  I'm wondering if this is an issue of race with her "well I don't like you".  Maybe I appeared to be too white to her?  I am a mixed race of Native American and various European races.   However, she was totally unprofessional.  She had an attitude with me and I refuse to take it.  I do understand not having a bedside manner and was fine with that but to be treated so badly is intolerable.

I filed an ICE report as soon as I turned my computer on.

Thursday, September 12, 2013

Military Medical Insurance

Also known as Tricare.

Oxymoron there since I really doubt they do "try (to) care".

I'm venting again.

Every two years I need to see my ENT at Madigan for the follow up on my Meniere's Disease, audiology to make sure I'm not losing more hearing, and a thyroid scan to hope that the scan shows that the cysts are shrinking or gone.  This means that I need a new referral each time since they are good for only 6 months.  A waste of a doctor visit is required now to get that referral even though my PCM has told me many times I don't need to see him just call his nurse and tell her what I need since I have chronic illnesses.

Guess what?  I have to now go see the man, PCM, that has a god complex.  This is the PCM mentioned above that said to call his nurse.  He is also the same PCM that denied me pulmonary specialist ( I have asthma), dermatology (I've had a skin lesion removed) , cardiologist (I've had a heart attack), rheumatologist (I have arthritis) , neurologist ( I have narrowing of the spinal canal in the neck and have had several TBIs plus fibromyalgia) and now he is trying play God again and determine if I need to see the ENT or not.  The above mentioned specialists are listed on my EFM (exceptional family member) paperwork as being necessary to see.

Oh and because I am slowly losing my vision I also need to see (lol rather ironic) the optometrist and sometimes ophthalmologist too.  I tried to schedule an appointment to see the optometrist for October but they are booked solid and only accepting appointment for active duty soldiers right now.  If one should cancel their appointment and I'm lucky enough to call that day to see if they have openings I might get in.  Other wise I'll be referred out to someone that doesn't know my case, probably billed the excess amount for it too, and have to find transportation to get to the appointment off the installation.

As it is we have a perfectly good ultrasound department here at Madigan. But I get referred out to the economy for my appointments because they need to make sure the machine is available at all times for the soldiers which means many time slots go unused.  Those time slots are listed with $$ signs in the computers as that stands for soldiers only.

I live right behind Madigan.  I purposely picked this village in the installation so that I could walk to my appointments at the hospital and not be a burden on my spouse.  We cannot afford two vehicles.  He cannot afford to be taking time off of work to share the vehicle with me either.  Even though he does primarily office work he still needs the vehicle when they are doing field operations because not all of the field exercise is in the field...figure that one out!

Tomorrow I have an appointment with another doctor, a co-worker of my PCM for a second opinion.  I do not remember ever seeing this doctor before and I can only hope he doesn't have the same god complex that my PCM seems to have.  Though my PCM is a nice person with a good bedside personality he isn't competent to be making health care decisions for a specialist in my opinion.  I remember back to when I had the ovarian cyst pain really bad before surgery and my RE office was booked solid.  They referred me to my PCM for pain medicine.  My PCM said he won't prescribe pain medicine as he is not of the school to provide narcotics for pain relief.  Sure doc what ever you say as he pokes my pelvic region with his hands not believing how much pain I was in  just days before I went in for my surgery.

With any luck tomorrow's doctor appointment, a waste in my opinion of a time slot someone ill could be using since all I need is a renewal of my referral, I'll have my new referral in the system.  But I've been warned by Steve on the phone that they are doing away with referrals because the specialists are overwhelmed with the realignment of the bases and the fact that Madigan now serves not just the Army but the Air force, Navy and Marines with it now being a regional medical facility.  Oh and let us not forget the retired military community.  I can only imagine that if I'm having difficulty getting an appointment as a spouse of the active duty service member that it must be nigh impossible for them to get care here too.  For those of you from my hometown Madigan is about half the size of CVPH and serves at least twice as many people.

Maybe I'll have them take a look at my foot while I'm there since it is getting blacker by the day at the injury site.

Military medical insurance isn't what the public sector seems to thinks.  We don't get appointment easily; medicine and treatment is often denied to family members who really need it.  Medicaid seems to be better and I would know since while I was going through my divorce, working and in college I did use it for a year.

Oh and side note: Steve on the phone said he was playing phone tag with me today.  No he wasn't.  I was home all day and the only two calls I missed were Equity and my friend Kim of which I returned their calls shortly after they left messages.  Even  my incoming call log denies that Steve called.  I don't deal well with LIARS.  I called my PCM's office on Monday.  I called my PCM's office on Wednesday.  I called my PCM's office today before they decided to call me back.  So much for leave a message and we'll get back to you within 24 hours.  Is that 24 working hours or normal 24 hours in a day?

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

When Inanimate Objects Fight Back

I'm a klutz.  I know it and if you read my blog you know it too.

Over vacation I bought an elliptical machine of which I had full intention of using when my spouse went back to work last week.  Well I think that the thing is possessed.  No sooner do I put on my work out clothes the thing bites me.

I'm serious.  In the past 8 working days I have had the thing bit me three times.  Sure okay, I admit it is my fault because I get distracted.  Yesterday I was headed to the elliptical machine when I got distracted by the color of the tarmac outside.  I thought it was wet and possibly raining which meant I would have to go around closing all the windows.  No rain.  Crap, ouch, damn!  Yup the elliptical bit me again.

If I'm going to injure myself by accident I do it well. I'm sure some of you are wondering what I did now and others probably are laughing with me in anticipation.  I broke my feet.  Feet?  Yes both feet three times now.

This is the left foot early yesterday which showed signs of healing nicely.  The bruise is there from the first striking of the elliptical plus two spider bites.  I struck the underside of the left foot on the elliptical.
This is my right foot of which you can see I recently injured not long after the left one.  Again healing nicely.  I struck the underside of right foot on the elliptical.  So the bottom got hit which means when the top of it bruises you know you did some good damage to the foot.
The left foot this morning.  I hit the elliptical machine directly with my little toe this time.  Spider bites are still there.  I have about 15 bites; the house is getting sprayed for  the spider issue today.  I guess it is a real problem this year in my village.  I've never had to get the house sprayed for spiders until this year.

Oh and my foot hurts!  No sense in going to the doctors for any of the above as there is nothing to be done.  Most I can do I did which is use ice on the broken  part and apply hydrocortisone cream to the bites.

But I thought I'd share with you all that I am attempting to exercise but I am failing miserably.  Right now I can't even get a sock let alone a shoe on.

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Follow Ups on the Agenda

Yesterday I heard back from PNW.  Dr. H. is putting me on  25 mcg of synthroid. I've been on both synthroid and armour thyroid before, at different times of course.  If the meds are in the system I'll have them by the end of today.  Remember I'm dealing with a clinic outside of the Army and the Army clinic still needs to put their approval on the care plan as they are the ones that will be seeing me the most.  I also have birth control that will be picked up today for the next cycle start which hopefully will be in the next two weeks.

I will have a follow up while on birth control to check to see if the 5 cm ovarian cyst has shrunk.  I need to have it gone before I start the Lupron.  Early this morning I was in such pain that it either is growing or it ruptured.  I was whimpering.  I'm hoping it ruptured.

This morning I had a call back from my PCM about my referral to the ENT clinic.  I'm supposed to be seen every year for my Meniere's Disease and thryoid.  It has been 1.75 years since I was last seen.  I'm overdue.  Referrals are good for only 6 months and I would have had of gotten a new one any way.  The reason for the delay in seeing my ENT is kind of obvious with the baby making being a higher priority on the agenda.  Also I didn't need another thyroid ultrasound for two years from the last appointment which was Jan 2012 unless my thyroid levels starting going wonky of which they have now twice this year.  Hoping the cysts on my thyroid haven't grown.  Tomorrow I'll get to call the ENT and see if my referral went through or not.  The ENT clinic told me to call them back on Wednesday so they could push it through as they know I need to be seen.

The bathroom sink is fixed again.  It took a hacksaw to get the pipe off but the repair guy fixed the problem, I hope.

Last night I consoled a long time friend, over 30 years, who is going through a rough divorce.  This guy doesn't often cry, heck I can't ever remember him crying, but last night he did.  I feel bad for him and I do understand what it is like to have your heart ripped out and stomped on.

J is enjoying his new rank.  He was pinned, by me and the First Sergeant, on Friday last week.  Well boarded is more like it since it was done in his dress uniform and I got to put on his new boards.  He is already back at the books studying for the next promotion board.  You'll just have to trust me that he looked great in his uniform as I don't have his permission to post the photos, as of yet, on here.  But they are on my FB if you want to go see them there.

Monday, September 9, 2013

Crazy Day

Today I finally noticed that I had messages on my home phone from Friday!  I've been quite busy this weekend.

Seems that PNW left two messages about my thyroid levels.  At first they thought I went and had the blood work for this week done on Friday.  Nope.  Turns out my local clinic decided to mess with me and do the blood work from my leftover blood from last week.  Nice huh!  Way to go and mess up the follow up results.  PNW wanted a follow up to see if the numbers had changed not a thorough going over of the blood that was already taken!

Today I had to call in a repair to the bathroom sink and pest control.  I have five spider bites on me.  Time to get the outside of the house sprayed again.

I had to call for a referral renewal for a check up on my thyroid cysts, audiology and Meniere's Disease since I'm due for an ENT visit.  Of course when I call my PCM the system hangs up on me.

I also had to follow up on a bill I received in the mail on Friday as to why I'm being billed by the dentist for something that should have been covered.  I called the dentist and they will resubmit the bill as they don't know why it wasn't covered either.

I get a request in my Etsy inbox for 5 pairs of booties.  Oh crap!  I want the order but my carpal tunnel is majorly painful right now.  I email back the potential buyer and tell her that I could do the order if she is willing to work with me and the time I'll need to make the booties.  Then I realize why didn't she buy the three pairs I had in the shop in three of the colors she wanted and in the sizes listed?  So I email her back and let her know I have three pairs on hand already and will reserve them for her.  I can make two pairs within a week if she is patient with my pain.  It is now up to her.  I will have to go out and buy some yarn in one of the colors that she wants but I'll do it.  Not that big of a deal.  Mind you I don't charge very much for the booties and I don't figure in the labor to make them when I price them.  I realize baby clothes are expensive and I want to give folks a good deal on what they buy from my shop.

This is my day so far!  Let's hope that it slows down a bit and I can put my bathroom back together soon.

Friday, September 6, 2013

Saline Infusion Sonogram #3

Yesterday I had my third and hopefully final saline infusion sonogram.  My husband wasn't able to make the appointment so my friend KK was willing and able to come along.  I even had here in the exam room.  She's been through some of the worst with being an infertile herself.

The results of the blood work and SIS are as follows:

  • Uterus looks great, there was some fluid still in it but I was still bleeding and some was the saline too
  • 5 cm cyst on the left ovary
  • TSH 3.19, they want to see 2.5 or below so we will re-test in a week with more in-depth testing
  • Prolactin 10.39, below 25 is good so I'm normal
  • HgA1c was 4.9 that was also normal
Now I just need to start birth control at the beginning of my next cycle and hope the cyst resolves or explodes of which I've had happen quite a few times with my cysts.  My nurse at PNW wants another suppression scan done before I start the Lupron to make sure the cyst has resolved.  I want it done too as I know darn well hormones don't always work to shrink my cysts, case in point last year when I ended up having surgery to remove them and found the endometriosis.

Soon I'll be set to go on this DE IVF (donor egg invitro fertilization)cycle, or rather a FET (frozen embryo transfer).  Hopefully today billing will get back to me so I can pay for this cycle.  I left a message letting them know I wanted to pay for the cycle in full.

Wish me luck and keep me in your prayers.

In a bit of unrelated good news.  J, my husband, gets promoted today!  I'll be attending his very wet promotion ceremony that they'll be holding outside.  Hey it is Washington State, wet is normal here.

Thursday, September 5, 2013

Karyotyping Final Results Are In

Okay so I got the final word on J's karyotyping from PNW.  All is normal with the XY.  Yay!  One relief.

Later this afternoon I go in for my saline infusion sonogram.  I'm not looking forward to that at all since last time it hurt like hell.  I"ll post more as I know more.

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

The Process Starts Over

Today is the blood draw.  I'm going to get my levels checked for the TSH, HgA1c (sugar), prolactin, and HCG.  I need the HCG done for tomorrow's test.

Yes I'm having a SIS done again.  It has been over, just about 3 weeks over the 6 months allowable since the last uterine evaluation from hell.  This time a doctor familiar with my uterus, he did my IVFs, will be doing the procedure tomorrow.

I'm hoping that all is well down below.  I can only imagine the pain I'm going to be in tomorrow after the exam.  Having a anteverted uterus, endometriosis stage III, and adenomyosis makes for a really uncomfortable exam to begin with but when you purposely inject saline into the uterus it gets bad.

I'm excited about today.  I know I'm not pregnant after the last horrific period that last way too long and I'm still actually bleeding lightly from. I think 8 days of heavy bleeding is too much but I still went on vacation.

I'm nervous about the TSH and HgAlc test results.  I've had thyroid issues in the past and both my parents are diabetics.  Luckily every time I've been tested for sugar my levels are either low or normal.  I have a tendency to have hypoglycemia which can lead to diabetes later in later...figure that one out islets of langerhans!

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Raising My Rainbow

I was a younger child with an older brother.  I was a tom boy, a gender nonconformist according to Raising My Rainbow by Lori Duron.  I wore my brother's hand-me-downs.  I played with his boy toys and played with children of the opposite sex more than I ever played with girls or girl toys.

Most gender nonconforming children usually turn out to be some form of LGBTQ (lesbian, gay, bi, trans, or questioning).  Though I am not a lesbian, some of the children I played with did turn out to be homosexual which was no real surprise to me.  We crossed boundaries in our hick town.  We didn't choose to conform and if I have children I won't expect them to conform either.  I truly think I had more fun being a tom boy than I would have if I were given dresses to wear.

Growing up on 57 acres of woodland in upstate New York dresses would have been out of place.  I couldn't very well hang by my knees from a tree with a dress on.  Well okay I could have but my little girl panties would have shown and it wouldn't have made my parents very happy.

By the time I hit the tween years I was already being called "weird" by my aunt and uncle that lived next door.  I didn't want to listen to music blasting, go to dances, or put on make up.  I was happy being a tom boy.  Oh I did like boys maybe that was the reason why I loved dressing like one so I could be around them more.   I wasn't considered the icky girl that boys didn't want to play with, they liked playing with me because I liked to get just as dirty as they and play rough.

I had my first kiss when I was but 5 years of age from a boy. Along the way to adulthood I've also had a few kisses from girls.

Love is love.  Love doesn't have to have gender boundaries and it shouldn't be forced to conform.  I can only hope that one day if I'm blessed enough to have a child I'll remember to raise it with an open mind, heart and arms.

This post was inspired by the memoir Raising My Rainbow by Lori Duron as she shares her journey raising a gender creative son. Join From Left to Write on September 5 as we discuss Raising My Rainbow. As a member of From Left to Write I receive a free copy of this book to review. All opinions expressed in this blog are my own.

Monday, September 2, 2013

Hypothetically Speaking...

If I were to do the embryo adoption what would go on the birth certificate for parents?

Would my name go in the spot for birth mom?

Would my husband's name go in the spot for birth father?


Would have to list donor numbers?

I know this sounds rather odd for me to ask my reader but I am really curious.

Some of my readers have done a donor embryo cycle before and I'm curious as to what is to be done about the birth certificate.

Everyone is free to comment on what they think will be put in the appropriate "mother"  and "father" spots.