I supported my spouse in his decisions to be in the Army. This type of support is necessary if he wants to excel in his career path. I'm sure many civilian wives do the very same thing.
When my husband has to go away for war I have to support him still even if I don't like the separations and what they can do to our relationship. Actually I have to increase my support to him to ensure that our relationship survives. Many a civilian wife has said to me that when their spouse goes away on a business trip they understand what I feel. Well in some ways I guess they do, however I doubt that their spouse is possibly getting shot at, having to use outdoor plumbing to relieve himself, or dealing with sub par living conditions when they their spouses are in fact at some posh convention center or other nice accommodations while on that business trip.
I'm not being spiteful or angry when I mention what my spouse has to go through above. I'm proud of his sacrifices. He did in fact volunteer to join the Army. No one told him he had to join. He knew, and so did I, what it would mean and how it would change our lives forever when he signed up. I married a civilian. But just as we all must grow into our life roles and accept changes I am no longer a wife to a civilian, I am an Army wife.
Supporting my spouse doesn't come automatically when he signs up. There is no boot camp for spouses or survival training for deployments. There have been times that I threatened to divorce him if he had to leave one more time in such a short period of time. I'm allowed to whine, complain, and even at times cajole but it isn't for long that I can do this as it isn't going to help the situation that we have to face together. Being the spouse of a solider means I need to put my big girl panties on and suck it up as much as possible. His job is war.
When I state that my husband's job is war it isn't quite true. Basic training teaches them the basics of war fighting. The next school they go to is where they learn their military occupational specialty. Funny enough my husband is a cartographer in the Army but he has a different longer title that most just gawk at when I tell them. Cartographer fits well for what he does. But he doesn't always get to do his job. He is put where they need him.
This post was inspired by The Cartographer of No Man’s Land by P.S. Duffy. Angus enlists in the Nova Scotia WWI regiment and travels Europe to search for his missing in action best friend and brother-in-law. Along the way Angus discovers more than he ever wanted to know.Join From Left to Write on November 14 as we discuss The Cartographer of No Man’s Land. As a member, I received a copy of the book for review purposes.
