My Cousin Died

Last week my cousin died.  He didn't get the live liver donor in time to save his life.  He died from another bleed out while on the operating table.  We were all to late in our efforts to help out.

A  Go Fund Me  has been started for his widow to help cover the expenses she has incurred with her travelling back and forth and time off from work.  Help out if you can dear readers.  Here is the link for Kyle Broadwell

I still can't believe my dear sweet cousin is gone.  He was only 42.  I'm in shock.  I'm going about my daily routine pretty much in zombie mode.  Because it was a holiday weekend, one in my family we'd celebrate as a Thanksgiving of sorts when I was a kid since every old person headed south to Florida, the three of us went about town.

The night of Kyle's death I ate comfort food, as in junk food.
 Friday night we ate out.  I couldn't eat.  I ended up crying at the restaurant.
Saturday night we ate out again.  This time I did eat and ignored the world around me.  I was still choking back tears.  It has been hard.  DH hasn't been supportive.  By Monday night I had to have a long talk with him about his nasty treatment of me this weekend.  He apologized.  I mean geez if it had been one of his family members we'd of flown home for sure.  I knew we couldn't because of his school so I took what I would have spent in hotel, airline tickets, car rental, and food added it up then donated it.

I know I'm rambling.

I'm a mess.

I'm now waiting for my results of the Alpha 1 antitrypsin to come back.  I'm not sure how long it will take.  I'm really hoping I don't have.  It is bad enough I have moderate NASH and Asthma adding the Alpha 1 in also would be like stamping an expiration date on my forehead.