Misunderstood

There are days I wonder why I ever even open my mouth.  I realize that the folks who know me best know that often I say things that might not make sense to them right away but they do "get me".  I also realize that what I say is often misunderstood by family that doesn't know me well at all.

Two examples I'll share:

A few years back I was eating breakfast at my in-laws' house when I made a simple of state of, "don't let (name of husband's brother) run you over".  My mother-in-law, like I said folks that don't know me well, said to me, "what did you mean by that!".  Simple fact is that my youngest brother-in-law has a strong personality and can be quite dominant in his wants and needs often forgetting that others might not feel like doing his activity but my feel like they need to try to keep up with him.  My husband is much the same and just the very reason why I often push myself too much.

Just yesterday I was joking how my father-in-law has less hair than my mother-in-law.  Mother-in-law said, "no he has more hair.".  Considering that her hair is long and his is short I thought it was obvious by what I meant but I guess not so.

With strangers I often stumble over what to say to them and end up sounding like some blathering idiot of which I'm not.  It just seems like I am better able to communicate with the written word and still I sometimes stumble there as well.

This leads me back again to Adult Female Asperger's Syndrome.  I seem to fit the bill quite well.  Still I have yet to get tested.  I get so caught up in other facets of my life that I forget to find out where I can get tested.  Not sure the Army would even care that I have it because I'm not a child.

Here is video to share with all of you.  If you know me perhaps you'll see some of these traits in me.

I mean no offense to anyone that has been diagnosed or has a family member diagnosed with this syndrome but I need to start somewhere to find out why I'm so misunderstood and so far it fits the bill. 

One other thing, if you new me in college you might remember that I loved to write poetry and was pretty darn good at it.  But thinking with vanity I submitted to The New Yorker and with that rejection never tried again to get published.    I got a "not at this time" rejection letter.

Raising Cubby

Recently I finished reading Raising Cubby by John E. Robison.  This particular book is one I would highly suggest to my friends.  Not only is the book humorous in its depiction of a man diagnosed with Asperger's trying to raise his son it is also true.

While reading this book I decided to go online and take the test to see if I have Asperger's since so many of the traits described in the book seemed to fit my personality.   I scored a 31.  A 32 is needed to be considered on the Asperger's Autism spectrum.  I'm considered to be borderline.  There are days I can really relate to the people in this book.  To have a more accurate diagnosis I would  have to go see a medical professional that knows more about Asperger's Syndrome, however I doubt I'll be doing that as I don't have Asperger's; only a few of the traits.

I have my quirks.  I'll go around at night, several times before bed, making sure all the doors are locked even though my spouse has assured me they are locked.  I can't sleep at night unless the bedding is just a certain way.  Maybe it is just a simple case of OCD.

I have trouble looking in the eye those with authority though I really try.  Sometimes I succeed but then I feel more like I'm an actress that is just faking her way through a role.

I wring my hands when I'm anxious.  I never even though of it much until I read more about it.  If I'm not wringing my hands I'm doing something with my hands like folding and unfolding and refolding a clean tissue until there isn't much left of it.  To me it is just one of my quirks; a nervous habit.

I can go for days working on projects and just ignore life around me.  Which truth be known isn't really a bad thing as I'm able to get quite a bit accomplished if I'm just left alone to my own devices.  However, I can forget to take my medicine and eat.  While my husband was deployed to Iraq I was alone.  I finished a one year length college level course, non-credited, in about four months.  I wouldn't say I was bored living alone but rather dedicated to my studies.

One of the things Asperger's people seem to dislike is being taken away from their routine.  I have a routine that I like to stick to and I don't want to deviate from it if possible even when traveling.  For me that isn't weird because I have physical limitations and eating at certain times and resting becomes necessary.  I need a routine because I will forget to take medicine, sleep, eat, and go to appointments.  Forgetfulness for me is part of having Fibromyalgia.

Click here for the Asperger's test.
The official criteria for Aspergers Syndrome is an AQ score greater than 32.
According to statistical analysis, 26 – 31 Is a borderline score. 86% of people with this score can be correctly classified as having Aspergers Syndrome.

 This post was inspired by Raising Cubby: A Father and Son’s Adventures with Asperger’s, Trains, Tractors, and High Explosives by John Elder Robison. Parenting is a challenging job, but what challenges does a parent with Asperger's face? Join From Left to Write on March 12 as we discuss Raising Cubby. As a member, I received a copy of the book for review purposes.