Sex

Just thought I'd write a bit about sex and the infertile from my own experience.

For the past five years sex has slowly lost its fun and its joy.  Until last cycle I actually stopped looking forward to sex.  Not like I was getting it all that often considering all the restrictions I was put on by the doctors.  After most appointments I was told, well you know what you need to do by now.  Yeah, have sex, do the IUI, then give it up until the beta is negative.

I'm now learning that it didn't have to be that negative of an experience.  I could have at least stopped dreading having sex.  I couldn't relax enough to enjoy sex.  Orgasms were there almost every time before we started trying to make a baby.  While trying to conceive orgasms became few and far between.

It wasn't that I lost my desire, but it was that I had greater desire for my spouse when I wasn't trying to conceive and he was off-limits.  I think we all can understand how the forbidden fruit is often the sweetest.

I have found a way to bring a bit of fun back to that part of my relationship even without sex being the end goal.  I have found a way to appreciate my spouse more and he appreciates me more too.

I'm not going to get all spiritual here but the book of Solomon is about sex between a husband and wife.  It is about appreciating each other and enjoying one another fully.

If I flatter my spouse and stroke his ego he is more willing to  court me and make love to me all day long.  Not just the sex act but love making.  Love making is the creating of the environment and the needs being met that which is more than just the joining of two bodies.  It is the joining of two minds.

If this sounds like I went off on a tangent so be it.  My spouse came home and interrupted my blog posting and thus my train of thought.  But I put him before the finishing of this post because he is a priority in my life.  He is the love that I cherish in my life.