Surgery and the RE

Well I think I'll start off with J and his surgery.  It went well.  It was severely delayed.  I'm guessing that there were emergency surgeries that cropped up.  J was supposed to go into the OR at 1200 hrs but finally went in at 2035 hrs.  Out of recovery and home at 0330 hrs.  Yup you saw that right.  I've yet to go to bed.  I'm doing laundry.  J is in pain. 

I explained to him that his surgery was uncomplicated and rather simple in comparison to mine so just imagine how much pain I was in then if you think you are in a lot of pain right now.  He had two male attendants to dress him, no one dressed me last month...no I had to do it all by myself.  I made sure to ask for help for J and I got what I needed for him tonight.  I made sure he was well drugged and I fetched juice and water for him close to 20 times.  He was really dehydrated from not eating or drinking for over 24 hours.  But at least he is home now.  His doctor said I'm to give him tough love and not baby him when he gets home.  Fine by me. But I will for the first 48 hours dish out his meds to him and help him as needed with his walking.  Right now he is using one of my canes to help him ambulate.

J apologized to me just before surgery.  He said things will change.  After surgery he again apologized and said that the old life is over he is done with it.  I can only hope that this will work out for him.

For about two weeks I've been complaining about pelvic pain here on my blog rather off and on.  At home I have told J that it hurts.  He has been dwelling upon his own surgery of which I can understand.  However, this past weekend when he made a comment to me of: "well obviously it doesn't hurt that much since you aren't doubled up in pain like you were before", I got my feelings hurt.  So with that said I went to the RE appointment today at 0900 hrs.  Yes, I've literally spent all day inside of Madigan hospital.

So Dr.B (major not LT.Col one) tells me before the exam that the pain that I might be feeling might not be OB/GYN related.  He said it could be the back pain flaring up or the bowels could be irritated.  He said that I should make an appointment with my PCM.  He insisted that it was highly unlikely that it could be anything relating to his specialty because he did the surgery and cleared it all out.

Well guess what?  Not long after he measured my uterine lining at 12mm he saw within seconds the cyst.  You heard me right.  I have a 6 CM CYST on my right ovary.  Dr.B. was aghast.  He checked around to make sure there weren't any other cysts.  He asked to make sure that I haven't been on any hormones of which I haven't then we talked.  I have a follow up appointment on Friday next week.  I'm wondering because of the pain if the endometriosis might already be growing back.

Oh and we did bloodwork.
E2 is 193
Progesterone is 0.37

I hate to say it but...I WAS RIGHT!  Eat that idiots.  When are folks, including doctors going to start believing me?  Dr.B. turned to J and thanked him for taking me in today.  J said it was all mine and Nurse M's doings.  Of which it was.

So yes, even though Dr.B. didn't tell me the same spiel we know it by now (take it easy we don't want ovarian torsion) and he offered up pain killers immediately.  I said No thanks because I still have a full bottle of percocet at home and the tramadol too.  I'm good. I only use acetaminophen for most every pain anyway.

Well its time to help J off to the bathroom again.  More in a day or so.

Finding Support At Home

J and I had a long talk over the weekend.  He hasn't been all that supportive.  He didn't help out much during my convalescent time after surgery.  The problem has gotten out of hand. 

Ever since he got home from Iraq he has had expectations.  He expects family to do his bidding.  Time for a reality check.

I did buy him a lap tray yesterday.  Its only for the first 2 days after his surgery.  He didn't wait on me and I got up and around quicker, healed quicker  too because I didn't sit/lay there and do all that self pity.  J likes that pity party.  He was practically told by family to get over it yesterday.  Its just a routine surgery after all.

I'm in pain and there is no way in heck I can do everything for him.  I'll do my best to help him but I'm not able to lift furniture or haul in to the bedroom a tv set just so he can lay there all day.  No one did that for me and I didn't expect any one to do that either.  Okay so he hasn't asked for that but he would if he could. 

All I got was one day use of his laptop before he got miffed and took it away.  If I wanted access to tv or internet I had to get up and go to another room.  NO ONE waited on me.  I had tv dinners that I cooked.  If I needed medicine I had to get up and get it myself and the water to wash it down.  You'll recall I also walked home from the surgery same day, didn't have to and I didn't fully explain why but after reading this you'll probably get an inkling as to why.

Okay so yes I did glossy coat J being kind to me while I was hurting.  He isn't the type to go out of his way to help me out but he didn't exactly get in my way either.  He didn't take time off from work to help me except for the 24 hours that were ordered to him to take off.  No I won't treat him the same way he treated me. I will help him to the best of my ability.  He wasn't mean to me but he wasn't a helpful hannah either.

He has had way too much coddling since birth.  Time to grow up a bit.  I'll make sure that he has food, water, warmth, me to be there if something should go wrong and I'll make sure he follows the doctor's orders too.  But I'm not making expectations like he had of me.  I had my surgery on a Wednesday and by Friday I was doing the laundry again.  I won't be asking him to do the same you can bet.  However he will have to haul his butt up and move around as I don't want him getting stiff muscles.  The surgery is extraperitineal which means they aren't going as deep into the pelvic area like they did for mine and he should recover quicker.

Fingers crossed that all goes well tomorrow.  I'm going to stand firm.  He has to be a man about this.  He has to remember that I love the man not the child as babies aren't allowed to marry.  He finally admits to being a mama's boy.

Tough love time.  Its the only way he is going to get over this and get better.  It might kill me to not baby him too.  Since I don't have a child or pet all that love longing has to go somewhere and showering it on him is just making it worse.