Creepy, Crappy, Cruddy

I'll start with Cruddy and work my way back.

Equity called yesterday and scheduled with us the repair of the floor under the washer and dryer for today.  Last night J moved both machines, which meant draining the washer.

Today I get a call from Equity and they tell us it is basically our fault that they called yesterday and scheduled the repair for today.  They said that we knew a contractor was going to do the job.  Sorry but I wasn't informed that they were contracting out the job.  So I think it is pretty darn cruddy of them to blame me for accepting the work order time and making my husband move the machines only to have to put it back because they have no one to do the repairs now. 

Equity told me that the contractor will be calling me soon to schedule the repair.  How soon is soon?  Well I'll know when they call and not before.

Crappy is how I've been feeling.  Sure I should be happy that I've lost ten pounds since my consult on 6 March.  But I'm just not feeling happy.  I'm tired, moody, craving food I can't possibly eat, having issues with sleep and the spotting hasn't stopped since I started the pill.  I hate to say that I'm actually looking forward to stopping the pill this week and getting a period so that the spotting will go away.

To make me feel more crappy I nicked a vein at 0430 hrs when I gave myself my Lupron shot.  Sucker didn't want to stop bleeding.  I think it was because the needle was bent.  Occasionally I do find a bent needle but as long as it isn't broken I'll still use it.

Now for CREEPY.  I promised I write about what was creepy at the marriage encounter.  So I will.  During the sign of peace, we were instructed to give the sign of peace in a couples hug with another couple, the man near me groped my left breast.  Seriously he didn't need to be having his arm under my arm and his hand on my breast.  Especially when you think about how that man just renewed his vows to his wife.  Takes all kinds! 

I didn't want to ruin the Mass for everyone by hauling off and decking the SOB and I didn't want it to put a damper on the celebration.  However, when J and I got home I did tell him what happened.   He was upset.  I didn't tell him while at the hotel or while he was driving.  Some things call for moments when he isn't carrying a gun and/or driving a vehicle that could be used as a weapon.  My spouse is far from a hothead but he wasn't happy about what that man did.  I physically showed my husband what the Creepy guy did.  J agreed that wasn't called for and it was definitely a grope.  There are days I hate having large breasts.  I attract some really creepy men just because they can't keep their eyes and hands off my mammary glands.

WWME

This weekend my husband and I took our marriage to the next level.  We took a forty-four hour class on marriage through Worldwide Marriage Encounter.

I have to say that my spouse, the guy that doesn't like to open up and share his feelings, actually learned to share his feelings this weekend.  I was surprised, excited and quite a bit nervous by what this weekend would do to our marriage.  So far, so good.

I'm exhausted.  We would get up at 0430 hrs, get ourselves prepared for the 0730 class or in the case of the first morning Mass. 

Friday night we had classes right after check-in.  Confessions started at 2230 hrs.  Luckily I was the first person to sign up for confession.  Still opening up to the priest, I've been a latent Catholic for the past ten years, left me in tears.  No the priest didn't make me cry.  I cried because I unburned myself to him and God.  With all the infertility issues I've been dealing with it was just so nice to put my problems in the hands of God.  Let Him worry about me for a while.  I'm doing all I can to create children.

Saturday morning we had Mass at 0730 hrs.  J isn't a Catholic so he was able to get a blessing only.

Next was breakfast and directly after was our first morning session.  We broke for writing times and would meet up with our spouses to dialogue.  Talking and sharing our feelings.  So many times we just don't seem to have that time with his Army life.  We were forced to find that time for one another this weekend.  It was magical.  It was hard.  It was enlightening.

Saturday night the last session ended a few minutes shy of 2200 hrs.  Long day.  Sunday would also be a long day but thankfully our hotel allowed us a 1600 hrs check-out time for our group.

Our Sunday session opened with group, then mass.

As a group we renewed our vows and had God's blessing on our marriage.  I'm tearing up now thinking about just how special that moment was when I looked into my husband's eyes and realized how much we'd gone through just to get to this point and yes I'd still want him as my husband until death will part us.

Pardon me while I go get a tissue to mop up my face.  BRB

Now for those of you that aren't Catholic don't be put off by this encounter group.  It isn't just for Catholics.  We had one Wiccan there, a bunch of other protestant denominations too.  Besides that if you go to the link above you'll see that they host this world-wide and for various religions too.  I urge you, my readers, that if you are having troubles communicating with your spouse to try out one of these weekends.  You'll be surprised how much you'll get out of the weekend.  Everyone has a different experience.

They do ask for a donation at the end of the encounter weekend.  You give what you can afford and those funds will be put towards another couple being able to go on a weekend experience.  Your weekend has already been paid for by the non-profit organization.

Quick Posting

Started Lupron today.

Finished marriage retreat and will blog about it tomorrow.    Something rather creepy happened to me during closing of the retreat and I will tell you all about it but that will be tomorrow.

Brighter Day

Other than being sick yesterday I don't have much to dampen my spirits.  Still spotting with lower back and pelvic pain but no where near as bad as it was before.

I managed to dye my hair today.

I'll get started on laundry as soon as J wakes up.  He had CQ duty last night and our laundry room isn't far from the bedroom walls.

I'm looking forward to the marriage retreat.  This one is in Seattle.  Though I've lived in Western Washington for four and a half years I've never stayed over night or shopped in Seattle.  I've been dragged through it with my husband's friend looking for the utili-kilt place and I've been there four times for the two IVFs.

I'm not expecting much so if fun is to be had I'll be pleasantly surprised.  I'm going to the marriage retreat to work on the marriage not go out on the town.  I have good communication skills but J doesn't so that makes it hard on the marriage.  I blow my top easily, thanks to the borderline personality disorder and PTSD, while J remains calm.  J is the passive aggressive sort.  He'll still get what he wants using his own ways.  Our marriage has a lot of room for improvement and I do see us growing old together.


Side note...
Yesterday I watched Raising Arizona for the first time.  How could one infertile couple justify stealing a kid from another infertile couple even if they did have more than they bargained for?  Stupid premise.  That movie gives infertile couples a bad reputation.