CD 15 A Little Darker

Today my OPK was a bit darker but still not as dark as it should be.  Maybe tomorrow?

I'm not trying to be depressing but I am realizing that even if I manage to get pregnant this cycle the odds are against me.  Even without having Stage III Endometriosis I have only a 50% chance of carrying to the 20th week.  I've explained all this to J.    To be honest I think my best bet would be not only an egg donor but a surrogate too.

On that train of thought, I know it's bad, but wouldn't it just be easier for my husband to have a fling at this point?  He would still have a child of his own.  I'm not trying to be depressing but haven't most of us just thought about this just once?

If I had a young cousin that didn't mind doing an IUI it would be great but the fact is that I don't have any young cousins.  All are either too old or too young.  My husband has cousins that are the right age but um, I think we'd have to worry about the genetics since it would be his cousins unless it is a cousin far enough out but then again I highly doubt any would volunteer to do something like this for us.  Pregnancy takes a lot out of a woman.  I had a friend volunteer her eggs two years back but her BMI puts her way above the allowable limits to make it safe for her.  Plus now she is over 35 herself.

But I can dream that I'll get pregnant this cycle, stay pregnant long enough to have a viable birthing and a child to pass on the: DNA, dreams, hopes,  and learning too?

Come April J will have to pay out of pocket to keep Tricare coverage for both of us.  Before it was more simple.  J was fully covered by his job.  We are learning just how hard this is going to be for transitioning.  I really hope he finds a good job before he leaves the service though he isn't allowed to start working for them until I think they stated 30 days after he leaves the service.

I too need to start looking for work. J will still have two years of reserves he has to fulfill but that won't pay the bills.  So I guess the only thing that I won't have to change is the name of my blog for two more years.  LOL

CD 15 7DPO

Available for purchase in my shop.

Well as I type this I'm waiting to get the results from my lab work at 0845 hrs.  I have to wait at least until 1045 hrs to call the clinic.

I'm glad I went into my clinic today before going to the lab.  I was going to request that the blood draw be a STAT.  Turns out that Nurse J never even had Major S put in the lab request.  Now I'm not liking Major S or Nurse J all that much today.  Guessing Dr.B. was on hand today as the blood work paper stated his name on it and not Major S.
Nurse S is wonderful.  I spoke with her and told her what is going on with me symptom wise.  I'm afraid to say that I think I might be developing another ovarian cyst.  So Nurse S had Dr.B.  (one of whom did my surgery the other being Lt.Col. B) put in my request for an E2 level as well as the  P4.

symptoms today:
bi-lateral pelvic pain
back ache
sore breasts
uterine cramping
fatigue from having a week of insomnia (it's getting to be hard to fall asleep at night.  maybe I should take naps during the day?)
hungry

I'm really hoping the E2 level is going down from the 316 of last week Tuesday.  When my estrogen is up my breasts start to hurt along with the other symptoms listed above.  Oh I realize they could also be PMS or early pregnancy symptoms.  I'm so used to the ovarian cyst pain symptoms though that I doubt it could be anything else.

I'll blog about the lab results once I find out what they are.