Today my OPK was a bit darker but still not as dark as it should be. Maybe tomorrow?
I'm not trying to be depressing but I am realizing that even if I manage to get pregnant this cycle the odds are against me. Even without having Stage III Endometriosis I have only a 50% chance of carrying to the 20th week. I've explained all this to J. To be honest I think my best bet would be not only an egg donor but a surrogate too.
On that train of thought, I know it's bad, but wouldn't it just be easier for my husband to have a fling at this point? He would still have a child of his own. I'm not trying to be depressing but haven't most of us just thought about this just once?
If I had a young cousin that didn't mind doing an IUI it would be great but the fact is that I don't have any young cousins. All are either too old or too young. My husband has cousins that are the right age but um, I think we'd have to worry about the genetics since it would be his cousins unless it is a cousin far enough out but then again I highly doubt any would volunteer to do something like this for us. Pregnancy takes a lot out of a woman. I had a friend volunteer her eggs two years back but her BMI puts her way above the allowable limits to make it safe for her. Plus now she is over 35 herself.
But I can dream that I'll get pregnant this cycle, stay pregnant long enough to have a viable birthing and a child to pass on the: DNA, dreams, hopes, and learning too?
Come April J will have to pay out of pocket to keep Tricare coverage for both of us. Before it was more simple. J was fully covered by his job. We are learning just how hard this is going to be for transitioning. I really hope he finds a good job before he leaves the service though he isn't allowed to start working for them until I think they stated 30 days after he leaves the service.
I too need to start looking for work. J will still have two years of reserves he has to fulfill but that won't pay the bills. So I guess the only thing that I won't have to change is the name of my blog for two more years. LOL