Learning The Hard Way

Little update.  I wrote to my friend "Jane" the "bestie" a few times over the past few days.  These were my messages to her:

On the 9th I reposted a blog post, in a message to her, she had written herself about how she wanted Abortions to stop.

Sunday:
 So are you still going through with the abortion?

Tuesday Morning:
 Are you going through with it today?

Yesterday Afternoon:
We had a good friendship while it lasted. I cannot in good conscious support this decision of yours to abort a baby "just because" it doesn't fit into your life plan right now.
I'm sorry but it just hurts me too much. I did make a generous offer to take the child off your hands and would gladly have done so.
You will just have to understand that I can no longer be your friend.
Have a good life.

I removed the "bestie" from my life and social media when she didn't respond to my messages asking if she was going through with it over the three days prior to the set date for abortion.  She posted puppy pictures on her social media instead of responding to me.

Today I get a message from her on the social media:
I didn't abort it, dear R!
We just came home from Grocery Shopping and from running other errands all day ( like getting Stuff for B's Birthday on the 17th, in 2 days )
Thank you for showing me how far your " support in no matter what " actually goes.
And one other thing: I wanted to ask if J would like to become Godfather for E once I talked it over with A... but ok.
Yes, we had a lot of Fun while it lasted.
Have a good Life too

Mind you she and her spouse have no religion and her husband doesn't believe in any god so this was most likely written to hurt me and to hurt J.  I did call my husband and he is so angry right now.  He feels hurt and betrayed by her.

So for three days she couldn't pick up the phone or message me back or even jump into her suv and drive the 2 bloody miles to my domain and tell me in person she decided to not have the abortion.  No instead I've been mentally tortured.

My response to her message:

I did ask you a few times if you were going to go ahead and abort it, Sunday and Tuesday as a matter of fact. I took your silence as the answer I dreaded most. I didn't want our friendship to end. I've been crying about this whole mess knowing that I couldn't support the decision to abort because of yes, MY feelings about not having a child. Wishing you had at least had the decency to answer my messages first. I've been sick over this whole thing. Truly sick. You couldn't have been shopping for three days.
I feel like I've been tortured.

  Her own social media page goes on to make me look like a bad friend:

Today's Happening shows how far Friendship really goes:
My ' Bestie ' just canceled our 3-year-Friendship
over something she thought I did...
but didn't do ! - Communication Fail.
Oh well... :/

 Yes this friendship is cancelled.  I will not be tortured by anyone.  This was obviously a mentally abusive relationship.  I've never had a friendship be so one sided in my life.  I was there to hold her hand when she had marriage issues.  I talked her out of having the extra-marital affair.  My husband and I babysat, unpaid, her children so that she could go out with her spouse and do things.  There is more that has gone down between us but I'm done with this.  I don't need an emotional vampire.

And now I must have time to heal.   

I have other friends and I'll cultivate those friendships.   As a mater of fact I made a new friend just yesterday that lives quite nearby.  Hopefully that friendship will grow.

Lilly and Jane; a work of Fiction

Meet Lilly: a middle aged, Caucasian, university graduate, and infertile.

Meet Jane: European, university drop out, fertile, illegal immigrant.

Lilly and Jane both have one thing in common though, they are both Army Wives.

Jane can't understand Lilly's want of starting a family at her advanced maternal age nor why Lilly would want to go through so many infertility treatments to get pregnant when children are just an unwanted part of sex.  Jane already has one abortion under her belt and has two children of which she finds to exasperating more often than not.

Lilly is deciding to discontinue fertility treatments soon and move on to adoption.  Jane tells Lilly that if she ever becomes pregnant again, by accident mind you since she is trying to prevent more children, she will let Lilly adopt.

Jane falls pregnant by accident as all fertile people seem to be able to do.  How it is an accident is beyond Lilly's logical thinking since as far as she knows sex is usually the culprit unless you are infertile and then it involves a team of doctors.

Jane feels bad that she is pregnant but tells Lilly she is going to abort, AGAIN!  Jane tells Lilly that she would have to choose between her dogs and this baby and frankly Jane says that she is more attached to her dogs.  Really what do having pets and having a baby have to do with one another Lilly thinks.   Lilly offers to adopt the baby but Jane says no.  But that next year Jane might try again for a take home baby.

At this point Lilly is having a hard time holding her tongue.  She is questioning her faith in God.  She is also wondering why her friend is torturing her like this.  Jane even asks Lilly to watch her children for her while she has the abortion.  Lilly can't handle watching the children and says sorry to Jane.  Lilly has to draw the line some where as the emotional pain is just too deep.

Now dear reader here is a question for you.

Do you think that the friendship will survive?  There have been other issues where Lilly has been badly used by Jane in the relationship but this is just a peek into their friendship.

I think this relationship is doomed.