Meet Lilly: a middle aged, Caucasian, university graduate, and infertile.
Meet Jane: European, university drop out, fertile, illegal immigrant.
Lilly and Jane both have one thing in common though, they are both Army Wives.
Jane can't understand Lilly's want of starting a family at her advanced maternal age nor why Lilly would want to go through so many infertility treatments to get pregnant when children are just an unwanted part of sex. Jane already has one abortion under her belt and has two children of which she finds to exasperating more often than not.
Lilly is deciding to discontinue fertility treatments soon and move on to adoption. Jane tells Lilly that if she ever becomes pregnant again, by accident mind you since she is trying to prevent more children, she will let Lilly adopt.
Jane falls pregnant by accident as all fertile people seem to be able to do. How it is an accident is beyond Lilly's logical thinking since as far as she knows sex is usually the culprit unless you are infertile and then it involves a team of doctors.
Jane feels bad that she is pregnant but tells Lilly she is going to abort, AGAIN! Jane tells Lilly that she would have to choose between her dogs and this baby and frankly Jane says that she is more attached to her dogs. Really what do having pets and having a baby have to do with one another Lilly thinks. Lilly offers to adopt the baby but Jane says no. But that next year Jane might try again for a take home baby.
At this point Lilly is having a hard time holding her tongue. She is questioning her faith in God. She is also wondering why her friend is torturing her like this. Jane even asks Lilly to watch her children for her while she has the abortion. Lilly can't handle watching the children and says sorry to Jane. Lilly has to draw the line some where as the emotional pain is just too deep.
Now dear reader here is a question for you.
Do you think that the friendship will survive? There have been other issues where Lilly has been badly used by Jane in the relationship but this is just a peek into their friendship.
I think this relationship is doomed.
Jane is a very selfish woman and very cruel in my opinion.
ReplyDeleteTonisha you of course know the truth behind this story.
DeleteEven if Lily was perfectly fertile, I think this relationship was doomed. I feel so much pity for Jane's children. May they find someone who will be a parent to them and offer them love and support.
ReplyDeleteJane's children are another story that I will possibly write about later. Suffice it to say that they will need a lot more counseling as adults.
DeleteJane is #!&*%(*&!! Insert any ugly name and it will fit. I don't know how I would be able to be friends with Jane. But I'm a good Southern woman who speaks her mind too much. =)
ReplyDeleteI'm pro choice but I know "Jane" and it just pissed me off when she says she regrets the first abortion and now she is going to have another? WTF!
DeleteWell, my husband's ex and my mom's evil sister are both named Jane, so I'm predisposed to hate on Janes! Still, it's pretty obvious from this story that there is only one sane person in this relationship and her name rhymes with illy. :)
ReplyDelete"Lilly" is trying to hold it together. She is not going to let certain types of people get to her when she already has so much on her mind.
DeleteJane is very inconsiderate, and a horrible friend. I understand that maybe she's going through something, and she has a right to choose, but she also had a choice when it came to asking... just, ugh. No.
ReplyDeleteI would drop her as a friend.
ReplyDelete"lilly" probably will later on down the road
DeleteDoesn't sound like much of a friendship to begin with, so I say definitely no!
ReplyDeleteWondering if Lilly and Jane ever had a true friendship
DeleteIt always boggles my mind when intelligent people can't use birth control properly. I mean, look at all the meds and appointments etc we have to juggle during IF treatments? And there are people who can't handle taking one pill, or a shot every 6 months, or use a condom for crissakes? GAH.
ReplyDeleteI think the friendship is doomed. Jane told Lilly that she would allow her to adopt any "whoopsie" baby she should happen to conceive, and then broke her word. Honesty and trust are necessary for a friendship to move forward.
Yes honesty and trust are the foundation of any good relationship. I find it rather disgusting how "Jane" has treated "lilly".
DeleteI don't think I could remain friends with anybody who told me they were getting an abortion, unless it was one of my most closest friends. Even then we would not be close anymore for a long time. I just couldn't handle that right now.
ReplyDeleteLilly can't handle it right now either. She is heart broken.
DeleteGood job to "Lilly" for saying no to watch the children. Also good job for not punching her in the face! I'm so irritated by this "Jane." I am so sorry to Lilly. I can not even imagine that pain. This baffles me beyond anything.
ReplyDelete