Tuesday, July 15, 2014

To Hell and Back Again

J will do another post to finish up his story but while I'm at his computer working through the pain since I totally forgot to take my motrin again I figured I'd do up a post.

 I'm home, alive and trying to recover but it was a long journey to get this far.  I'm so glad that J has been filling all of you in on what happened because for me personally it was one big blur.

Sunday night we went in for our induction day and scheduled time.  "Oh goody", I thought as they told me I was already 1 cm dilated on my own.  Maybe this won't take as long as I thought to bring our baby girl into the world.  Okay well yeah I should have known better from reading all the blogs over the years. Ladies you have prepared me for most of everything including the packing of depends undergarments for the after effects!  Thank you!

But I wasn't prepared to wake up to pee and find that I was leaking blood with a damn tampon shoved up inside of me.  I'm like "what the fuck!  did I fall asleep and miss it?".  Nope all was okay it was the cervidil or however it is spelled.  I had no clue that a tampon was its application and my doctor didn't bother to tell me either.  About twelve hours later they pulled the tampon out after a very uncomfortable readjustment by my doctor where he shoved it back up inside because my body was pushing it out.  The pictocin was then started with an 18 gauge iv line needle in my left ulnar side.  I have a huge lump from that needle but that is the least of the issues my body is now facing in recovery.

The pictocin didn't work, another tampon of cervidil and almost twelve hours later and I was still only about 2.5 cm dilated.  Dr. C. was due to end his shift and decided to break my water with the hope that in a few hours I would be delivering the baby.  Hahahaha!  Jokes on him in less than 42 minutes Eilonwy was here!

I still love how the anesthetist said it was never too late for an epidural.  I asked for one and they said no.  Crap.  I tore in three areas; urethra, labia, and perineum. I'm sure J has mentioned all this to you folks too.

Well lets see, after giving birth which wasn't all that bad I tried to sit up after the medical staff left the room.  Bad idea!  I remember telling Jason that everything was going black and that was it.  Over the next few days I managed to some how lose most of my blood volume, third space which happens when you lose too much blood and you body decides to hold onto all the fluids it can get and lose a uterus. Yup, they had to do a hysterectomy.

I mean I knew this was going to be the last pregnancy but geez I thought I could hold off on organ removal for about a year.  I still have the cervix and ovaries but we know that with endometriosis the ovaries are nothing but trouble.

The reason for the hysterectomy is the placenta accreta.  One would have thought that if my high risk OB in Savannah had actually done the study he said he was going to do but then promptly forgot to put it in my chart then they would have been better prepared for the birthing.  Why do what should be done when you only want to spend 5 minutes every three weeks with your patient!

So after gaining more than 16 staples in a vertical incision, 6 pints of blood (4 A+ and 2 O+), numerous bags of ancef (antibiotic), and multiple bags of saline I'm writing to you from my own bed while trying to lie on my left side and think clearly about what really matters.  I'm pissed.  No not because I almost died.  No not because I lost a uterus.  I'm pissed because my bodacious ta-tas that are producing a good quantity of milk aren't staying erect enough to allow my Eilonwy to latch properly.  My nipples and aerolas are just too fricken big!

I've looked at vids on latching.  I've talked to a lactation consultant that tried to help us with our latch but wasn't all that successful.  But she did show me how to use the milking machine.  While at home I'm using the manual pump that I have on hand as it is helping reduce the fluid build up in my hands from the third spacing.  Now if only I had dexterity to use my feet to pump with as those are so swollen they look like I have had major collagen injections to remove every wrinkle and bend.

For now I'll be happy knowing that I can pump and J can feed her.  I'll be happy knowing that I'm alive.  If I didn't have so much to live for I probably would have kissed the pain in my life good bye as we know that I have a lot of medical issues that give me a lot of pain.  I can deal with pain as long as I have love in my life.

Oh and by the way we now know with medical evidence which of the embryos took from the two we put back.  Remember we did donor egg and donor embryo.  The donor embryo mom and dad produced offspring that were O+.  The donor egg person was A+ and J is O+ which means that any of their embryos would be A+ upon testing.  Eilonwy is A+.  Yup the little embryo that could and did make it is J's baby.  Not like it matters a hill of beans because she is so wrapped around his heart.

This blog will continue to be written and evolve.  I'm more than just my infertility and I'm more than just a parent too.  I'm an Army Wife and this is my life!

23 comments:

  1. Wow - what a birth story! I had a feeling from J's last post that you may have lost your uterus. I am surprised that they did not insist upon a planned c-section given your endometriosis and being high risk. But glad it all turned out fine - your daughter is adorable and enjoy every minute!! Congratulations!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Wow! I'm so glad you are both alright! I'm sorry about all the complications, but as you said, you are alive and you have love--and a beautiful baby girl! Congratulations again!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'm so sorry to hear of all the complications, but glad that everything turned out perfectly! Enjoy it!

    ReplyDelete
  4. She's adorable....h much did she weigh?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Glad that you made it through and are at home recovering! I had undetected acreta as well. I was told that sometimes it can be detected but not all the time. I am thankful that I had a csection such that the dr's were already in there when it was discovered. I cannot imagine what you and J went through. I am so glad that you are on this side of it and home. Good luck with the recovery and adjusting to life with Eilonwy!
    Suzanne

    ReplyDelete
  6. That picture is perfection!!!! :) So happy!

    ReplyDelete
  7. WOAH! So glad you are getting better! The updates from your husband were filled with so much love for you and your daughter. Her and her name are gorgeous! Congrats. NOW get better!

    ReplyDelete
  8. I'm sorry you lost your uterus, but I'm very glad you are alive and well.

    I want more info about that beautiful girl you're holding there. How big is she? What were her apgar scores? Do you have more pictures? :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. AWSOME picture I'm so happy for all three of you. I am sorry that your birth took such a toll on your body, I hope and wish for you all the healing you need and it be quick! Will continue to stalk for more pictures

    ReplyDelete
  10. So good to hear from you (though have been most thankful for J's updates and will be glad for his next installment). Thanks for the picture too. What an ordeal, so glad you are on the other side, with that beautiful baby girl home.

    ReplyDelete
  11. So glad to hear that you both are ok. What a scary thing to have to go through...For all of you.

    Beautiful family picture. Congratulation!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Quite a story. I am so happy that you are home and doing better. She is beautiful!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Welcome little Eilonwy and congrats to you both. It was a tough journey to parenthood from its very beginning years ago, so I suppose the complications at the end are the cherry on top, but I'm so very happy you are safe (if not yet well) and that you finally have your baby girl in your arms.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I am so happy that you are safe now, and that Eilonwy is oerfectly fine. Keep us posted as much as you can and enjoy every second with her. Take care!

    ReplyDelete
  15. So so scary, but man am I so relieved you and Elionwy are alright (love the name BTW, loved that book series!). (hugs) What a beautiful photo. I am so happy for you all.

    ReplyDelete
  16. My goodness you went through a lot. But you know what? That has been the norm for you in this journey hasn't it? I am so relieved to hear your baby girl is healthy and you are safe. I am very sorry you had that scary event happen and had to resort to a hysterectomy. I had quite a bit of clotting and blood loss after my birth along with two bad tears, but all turned out okay in the end. Can't wait to see more pictures of your little doll. Take care mommy!

    ReplyDelete
  17. I am so sorry to hear of your story. Baby Eilonwy is beautiful, love the family picture and I love her name. I hope you are recovering well and the pain is decreasing daily. Take care of yourself.

    ReplyDelete
  18. She's beautiful! Congratulations!! I'm glad to hear that you are recovering and that Eilonwy is healthy. I was worried when I didn't see a post for so long, knowing you were induced a couple weekends ago! Can't wait to see more pics - take care and I hope your recovery is smoother than your labour!

    ReplyDelete
  19. What a story you have now - all kinds of strife and stress and heartache - but it has such a great ending! Congratulations to your family and I hope you're healing quickly and easily!

    ReplyDelete
  20. Here from ICLW. Congratulations on the birth of your little girl!! I am sorry your birth experience was so difficult. That is a beautiful picture of the 3 of your together. Wishing you much joy and learning in the next few weeks!!

    ReplyDelete
  21. This brings tears to my eyes! Beautiful photo of the three of you. I am so glad that you 're ok and that you pulled through what sounds like a terrifying experience. Congratulations on the birth of your miracle baby!

    ReplyDelete
  22. Tears, tears, tears. I am so incredibly happy to see this post. I was juts logging in to do a 7 month update on my Boys and could not believe that you had your sweet little girl 6 weeks ago. This brings a huge smile to my face - Congratulations!!!

    ReplyDelete
  23. Catching up on your blog. Wow. What a rollercoaster, but glad to see you are doing ok. I'm sorry they had to take your uterus. You have a beautiful baby!

    ReplyDelete

If you decide to be a Troll I will refuse to pay your toll and your comment will not appear.