Tuesday, March 10, 2015

So Sick

I'm exhausted.

Fourth round of antibiotics.

I woke up in a cold sweat this morning.

Eily is teething.  She is also chewing the skin off of her hands.

This is the second week of sucking it up with DH back to work and no help at home.  I mean no help at home.  DH comes home exhausted and is of no help.  He is argumentative because of the problems at work that my medical leave has caused him.  He can't leave it at the door either.  So he causes issues at home.  I'm about to leave him if he keeps it up and yes I've told him just so much.

Work stays at work for the most part unless it absolutely has to involve the family.  For the most part it can be left at the door.  There is no real need to bring the stress of work into the family or the stress of the family into the workplace.

The bleeding hasn't stopped.  The more I lift the more I bleed.  I know where this could go.  I've read the letter that the doctor, my doctor, has given to my husband's employer if I'm not taken care of.  I could have to undergo more surgery, emergency surgery.  I don't want that.

I need sleep.  I need to put my feet up.  I don't need to be doing housework and taking care of the baby too.  I asked for a break for the weekend and I didn't get it.  I thought for sure that DH could at least give me the weekend off. But no.

Sunday I did four loads of laundry for the household alone.  Bottles, E's laundry, I helped to dissemble the crib to lower it to the lowest level for mattress.

I'm always the first one awake when she cries to attend to her needs.  Why is it that a man doesn't hear his own child's cries?  I mean this is with me taking vicodin, melatonin, and topamax before bed.  I should be knocked out.  But I still get up and take care of her because I hear her.  If I said in a whisper: sex, beer, food or even gun he'd be awake in an instant.


  1. If he isn't responding even to you saying you're on the verge of leaving, that's a huge problem, as is his unwillingness to take the lead when you're putting your health at risk. I'm so sorry you're having to deal with all this...

  2. Sounds like you're going through so much! I can't imagine how frustrated and angry you must be right now. I hope it gets better soon. Sending you lots of healing thoughts.

  3. I am so sorry you are still struggling with healing and getting help. That is just awful. Is there anyway you can hire a mother's helper for a week or two, I know that's not always financially possible though. I really wish you could take it easy and heal :(

  4. I am sorry you are in so much physical pain and also having to deal with everything by yourself. I can understand your frustration. I hope the situation improves so you can heal. Can your Mom maybe come and help until you recover? Or as someone suggested maybe you can hire household help for a few weeks?


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