Tossed Away

Soldiers are being tossed away like a Kleenex; used for a few good blows and forgotten never to be the same.

I say the above because our military men and women who have fought so valiantly for our freedom are being used for their man power to blow away, blow up,  and blow through conflicts.  After the blowing is done they are traumatized, many of them at least feel the after shocks of what they were ordered to do.

I'm angry.  When a service member is sent off to war they come back with more than just physical scars.  They come back changed mentally.   This is hitting close to home for me now.  Too close.  When they try to get help they are shunned, told they are just trying to get out of doing what they signed up to do in the first place, which is deploy.  Okay so yes they did sign up as their primary MOS (military occupational specialty) to tote a rifle about and kill as necessary but they do have other jobs that they trained for and are good at.

The military medical system needs a complete overhaul.  When a service member goes into counseling they are told that they will not be ratted out unless they are considered a danger to themselves or someone else.   They are not supposed to be ratted out for saying stupid things like they hate a co-worker.  However, it does happen as of this month because of the killings in Afghanistan.  Before you know it the service member is being told that their career is over and they'll be discharged.  Why?  Well I'll tell you why!  Because the system doesn't work.  Instead of giving the individual the confidence and trust in their therapist they live in fear that if they say the wrong thing they get ratted out.  So they go in angry, balled up fist and knotted up stomachs afraid to utter one word that could be used against them.  The therapist clues in on the body language and makes note of it to report later that the individual is hostile.  No they don't report that it could be related to combat stress or PTSD because if they did it would mean money.  And no they don't report that the body language could be due in part from the fear of being what they saying being misconstrued and reported.

Yes it all comes down to the almighty fricken dollar folks.  The military does not want to pay out to help the service member that is broken, even though they became broken while in the service.    Just this year a higher ranking soldier was asked to step down from this installation, on which I live, because he decided that those with the diagnosis of PTSD didn't deserve it so he took away the diagnosis.  WHY?  Well he was saving the government money in the present and future.  A diagnosis of PTSD means that the government will have to continue treatment for that individual for the rest of their life.  If the diagnosis is taking away the person can be forced to deploy.

Now I wonder, did that happen to the guy that went on the "rampage" in Afghanistan?  He was from this installation.  Could it have been prevented?  Probably.  So yes, I'm really angry. 

Perhaps if our service men and women felt more comfortable and able to trust the therapists here on our installation they might just open up.  Here they think of only one thing:  WHEN CAN WE DEPLOY THEM AGAIN?!  That was until the 16 were killed in Afghanistan.  Now its becoming a rat fest.  The therapists are ratting out their patients for anything and everything ending careers for no good reason other than the usual facetious remark about a co-worker because the soldier was in a bad mood.  When you in the civilian sector have those days are you really going to go off your co-worker?   I doubt it.  But here on the military installation, well its just nuts now.  They are getting way over protective which doesn't help with the situation either.  Now they are just inundating  the mental health providers with  low risk/no risk cases.

I guess this is just another way to meet the quota that Obama has set for less troops.  Get rid of the fatties then get rid of any one that chooses to make an off hand remark that can be misconstrued but all means Obama keep the psycho!  See I can be facetious too.  Great now someone is going to lock me up for speaking my mind right?

A New Bread Attempt

Today I'm going to attempt to make a bread I've never made before.  I will make the Jewish braid bread called Challah.  J loved the one we bought last year from our commissary and I figured while he is on CQ today I might as well put my excess free time to good use.

Who needs to do laundry?  Me, probably, but it can wait while I try to make this particular bread.

Oh I lost 0.8 lbs yesterday only to gain back 1.2 lbs overnight.  What the heck is going on with my body?  I now need to lose 5.2 pounds to get back to my pre IVF weight.

I now have an appointment to see my PCM for the very same day as my WTF appointment.  So if my RE doctor doesn't cooperate then my PCM surely will.  Well I hope he will.  Tricare, when I called them to schedule a referral appointment, had on hand the information that I was supposed to undergo a surgical procedure and they had no problem in getting me in to see my PCM for next week to get it back on its way.  Something barium endoscopy was the thing I was supposed to do according to their records.  All I know as that I will be under anesthesia of sorts and they might have to put in a balloon.  But that isn't now and I don't know when it will get done.

Our weekend plans have changed.  Good news is that its extended.  Yay!  I knew that J had a four day weekend coming up but that because he has CQ today he would be too tired to drive on Friday for the start of our vacation.  Also the place we had reservations at had only one night available and I asked to be put on the cancellation list.  So they called back and told me they now had an opening.  Now I get two nights away from this hell hole house.  I'm so thinking that beer and a hot tub are just what J needs.  He's been avoiding all alcohol and hot tubs because it can affect his swimmers.  Time to relax a bit.

Yesterday J ran 2 miles in the morning for his PT and another 11.5 miles for the "Walk To Afghanistan".  They required them to run, though the family members could walk.  I didn't go as my hip yesterday, just taking the trash cans out to the road decided to slip out again.  This time it was the left one.  Back to J again.  So J has finally decided to admit he is a bit of an athlete.  Running half a marathon in one day is enough I'd say to make that observation.  Wish I could walk half of what he runs without the pain I get. 

Okay so if I want to get that bread made, remember I'm experimenting with the gluten issues though I think we all know I have some sort of sensitivity by now, I'd best end this post and get the dough rising at least.

Crafting My LIfe Away

Photo by me of my latest creation.  The other day my bestie, S, and I went to Shipwreck Beads where I purchased the components for J and a few beads for myself.

See I get lonely and listless which then if left unchecked will lead to depression.  I'm not a drinker, an impulse shopper, or an impulse eater so I fidget when J is away.  Maybe the fidgeting is helping me to lose weight as it is still coming off.

So with my spare time when I'm not cleaning or watering the lawn and garden I create.  Sometimes its food creations which I would share with my neighbors.  Most of my neighbors who were good friends are now gone.  Now I have to turn my creativity to other pursuits.  Back to beading, sewing, embroidery, knitting, crocheting, needlepoint and so on.  There isn't much I can't do and if I don't know how I'll learn.

Better view of the necklace, well I think.  The large drop stone is an Afghanistan Stone, with the blue sea quartz above it and Thai silver daisy beads in between the two large stones.  The main necklaces is composed of silver tubes, silver open work beads and taupe freshwater pearls.

I rather like this creation.  The large Afghanistan stone caught my eye and I just have to have it.  The stone has nice layers where over time it was compressed from the various sediment.  Life has layers, some good some bad and it rather suits me and the Army life.  I chose the Afghanistan stone because it was the only stone they had representing the Middle East that would meet my needs. Sure a ruby, emerald or even lapis lazuli could have worked too but this was the stone I chose.
 
The sea blue quartz is for the water that always has separated us each time he has gone.

The 12 taupe pearls represent the 12 moons he is normally gone.  12 months of tears.  12 months of trials.  Pearls are worn to shun evil influences.  They are also a symbol of purity and my love for him is pure.

Libya, The Third War

Tonight President Obama will be trying to decide if we are to intervene in the Libyan war.  It all comes down to humanitarian issues, pretty much domestic violence, and what Obama promised before he was elected President of the United States.

Mind you I didn't vote for Obama and I was a registered Democrat at the time.  Since then I've changed my political party to more suit, though not perfectly, my views.

Do we really need the added expensive of another war?  We aren't even fully out of Iraq, we are full force fighting in Afghanistan and our economy can't handle the drain of helping yet another country find its freedom.  Freedom is far from free when our own populous has to go without because gas prices are sky rocketing in the oil obsessed countries.

They are oil obsessed.  Most of them are fighting over control of their own oil fields.  Their civil unrest is now costing us more at the pump and I'd rather it not start costing us the lives of our American citizens.

I'm not a "liberal hippie" by any means.  I believe that at times war is the necessary decision.  But I don't like the thought that we are going to have to sacrifice more of our military, money, and resources on a doomed humanitarian issue that is called the Libyan war.  Let them fight it out amongst themselves, it went fairly well in Egypt a month ago.  If we go into Libya with guns blazing we'll have to fund a rebuild of their country when we can barely afford to keep our own government afloat.

We don't need foreign oil.  We have the Alaskan pipeline.  We have alternative fuel sources that are being back burnered just because our own government has deals on the table with foreign countries to buy their oil supplies.  How about we fund the alternative fuel projects with the funds that we were going to spend on helping Libya out?

Better yet how about we stop buying from China and buy more American made products.  Sure right now American made products are expensive but isn't buying quality worth it?  Why buy junk from a foreign country when you know its just going to get recalled or fall apart?  Eventually, given that Americans will decide to buy domestic products, our prices will drop and our economy will reach back to the top where it was two decades ago before we started farming out our jobs to foreign countries.

Libya, good luck on your war.  I don't want my country being a part of your domestic violence issues. 

WE ARENT THE WORLD'S POLICE!

Finally Friday

I'm wearing red today because its Friday.  Some of you may recall why folks wear red on Friday, others might have no idea at all.  I'm not exactly sure how long ago the tradition of wearing red on Friday started but I think it started when we went to war.  I will try to remember to wear red on each Friday until all our troops come home.

Yes we are still at war.  We might have ended the sending of comabt troops to Iraq for now but it doesn't mean we stopped sending our military over there.  We still have a war going on in Afghanistan.  We are still fighting the war on terrorism.

The work week is coming to a close which means I'll get some much needed time with my spouse.  A year ago I couldn't say the same.  A year ago my spouse was one of many deployed to the Middle East.

Friday reminds me to be thankful for all the freedoms that I enjoy and often take for granted.  I am thankful for my dwelling no matter how humble it might be because it is not a CHU (containerized housing unit) that leaks when the rain comes down hard.  I am thankful for the food I have to eat because I can just go to my refrigerator or cabinets and select a decent meal that hasn't been mass produced as in an MRE or sitting in warming trays drying out.  I am thankful that I can go to a restaurant to eat a meal and be able to complain if the service is not to my satisfaction.  I am thankful that I can get up in the middle of the night without having to don boots and camouflage clothing  just to go use the bathroom.  Heck, if I get the munchies in the middle of the darn night I can get in my suv,  drive the 0.9 miles to the nearest convenience store, then walk through isles of junk food selecting the perfect snack to settle a craving.  Most of those deployed don't have options I get to enjoy at a whim. When the tiny AAFES at their location does have options they go quickly.

Yes, I realize we have an all volunteer Army.  I am thankful that these men and women did volunteer so that I can exercise my freedom.  I like being able to say what I want.   I like being able to own a gun.  I like being able to worship any god any way I want.

So today I'm wearing red.  It doesn't matter if anyone notices, I'm not here to be noticed.  I'm doing it to say thank you and that I value the sacrifices our military has made with the hope that they will come home soon.

THANK YOU