I'm sorry to say but I'm quitting. Screw breastfeeding; oh wait baby girl can't breast feed on my nipples anyway. What I'm actually saying screw it to is the milking. I'm so not taking domperidone.
Nope not doing it. I value what little health I have left. I have IBD and I can only imagine what it would do to my bowels.
I get migraines...I don't want to be in such pain I can't even care for my kid.
Many of you know that I don't respond well to hormones and most drugs with side effects that can be bad; well somehow I end up really sick from them. I can't even use band-aids without either breaking out or blistering from the adhesive. Sometimes I even lose layers of skin from the adhesives they use in the hospital to cover the iv lines. Yeah I have two scars from the adhesives they used on me during the week in the hospital last month.
I'm done. I'm going to bring back the pump rental this week. I'm not going to ask my doctor for the pills either.
I have heart issues, blood pressure issues, migraines, fibromyalgia, degenerative disc disease (back and neck), herniated disc in the back and neck, and the list goes on. Yeah don't need any more issues especially since J is due to deploy here shortly for unknown period of time. I need to be healthy for my baby girl. She is doing just fine on formula.
My pump rental is only month-to-month and that first month is expiring in a few days. I'll be returning my pump this week.
I have a manual pump of which I can use to express my milk IF I FEEL up to continuing to express the milk.
I have had no extra milk production from the fenugreek capsules, the lactation cookies or the milkmaid tea. So I won't be purchasing more of these. Why waste my money?
Showing posts with label breast pump. Show all posts
Showing posts with label breast pump. Show all posts
Monday, August 18, 2014
Friday, August 15, 2014
This Is All I Get
Hey Folks,
I appreciate all the information that you have sent my way when it comes to breast feeding and pumping. I do pump on a regular basis. I don't get a lot. As a matter of fact I'm going to take a photo of my pumping session to show all of you just how much I get. First I have a few minutes to type a bit before I start my pumping so I wanted to let all of you know about how things are going thus far.
My brain is fried.
I wake up with a headache.
I'm up to all hours of the night with Little E. She is worth it. I'm trying to read to her, read another book for myself of which I'll post a blog entry on later this month for my book club, catch up on the computer and twice a month do the billing I used to do. Eventually I'll open up my Etsy shop again, however, I can't see that happening until early next year.
Right now I'm lucky if I can finish my cup of milkmaid tea in just one reheating of it. Oh wait that isn't going to happen again today. But it is all worth it and I will get used to lukewarm tea, very little nutritious food since it is grab and go at this point, and hopefully one shower a week. I can deal with going around in work out clothes in the house and uncombed hair. The fingernails are horrid with ragged cuticles. Again I say it is all worth it. I did plenty of sacrificing to get this baby and I'm willing to give up more. I just need to simplify my life. Little E's colic is just a stage along with her day/night confusion. It will pass.
Okay I've finished pumping. I pump for 15 minutes and this is all I ever get:
I appreciate all the information that you have sent my way when it comes to breast feeding and pumping. I do pump on a regular basis. I don't get a lot. As a matter of fact I'm going to take a photo of my pumping session to show all of you just how much I get. First I have a few minutes to type a bit before I start my pumping so I wanted to let all of you know about how things are going thus far.
My brain is fried.
I wake up with a headache.
I'm up to all hours of the night with Little E. She is worth it. I'm trying to read to her, read another book for myself of which I'll post a blog entry on later this month for my book club, catch up on the computer and twice a month do the billing I used to do. Eventually I'll open up my Etsy shop again, however, I can't see that happening until early next year.
Right now I'm lucky if I can finish my cup of milkmaid tea in just one reheating of it. Oh wait that isn't going to happen again today. But it is all worth it and I will get used to lukewarm tea, very little nutritious food since it is grab and go at this point, and hopefully one shower a week. I can deal with going around in work out clothes in the house and uncombed hair. The fingernails are horrid with ragged cuticles. Again I say it is all worth it. I did plenty of sacrificing to get this baby and I'm willing to give up more. I just need to simplify my life. Little E's colic is just a stage along with her day/night confusion. It will pass.
Okay I've finished pumping. I pump for 15 minutes and this is all I ever get:
Now can you see why I'm frustrated? I take the fenugreek capsules 2 at a time 3 times a day as prescribed by my physician. I drink the milkmaid tea. I eat more than 2 of the lactation cookies a day, heck sometimes 4 of them a day or more and I wonder why I've gained weight back.
Folks if my doctor decides that the domperidone isn't going to help me I'm done. I won't beat my boobs up any longer trying to produce milk. I pump enough each day that the nipple hurt. I would post a photo of my nipples for all of you but I'm not going to flash my ta-tas to the world like it was Mardi Gras. You'll just have to take my word for it that my nipples are too big to nurse my baby, the areolas won't fit in her mouth with the big nipples and the nipples love to go flat quickly.
Tuesday, July 22, 2014
Two Weeks Later
It has been two weeks since Little E was born and much has happened to all three of us.
Little E lost more than half a pound after being born. However, she gained it all back with frequent feedings plus she grew an inch in length!
J has been sleep deprived learning how to be a dad. His mom just left today to go back home after spending a week with us taking care of J and doing a couple of night feedings each night. I say she took care of him because well I was taking care of me including getting my own nutrition. I'm not going to go into the issues there but the iron pills prescribed to be taken 3 times daily make it difficult to get in proper meals since they have to be taken on an empty stomach.
When I left the hospital on the 12th of July my hemocrit was 12 something and last week Friday at an appointment we went to it had dropped to 9.6. Yeah not good. I was ordered back to bed for the rest of the pelvic rest. If you know me well you know that this is going to be nigh impossible. For one, J has to sign in off of paternity leave tomorrow which means if he can't get regular leave I'll be alone with the baby and the house work. Secondly, I'm not the type to let the house work go especially living in a southern climate where if you let the dirt build up you'll give bugs an invitation like you would a vampire into you house; "hey come suck the life out of me while you hunt me down!".
Little E can't latch on to me because my nipples are too big for her almost preemie baby size being born at 5 pounds 11.1 ounces. She has a tiny mouth. I am using the Avent Isis manual pump but the right breast, I think it is the one with the benign tumor, isn't producing much but a few drops of milk. Tomorrow I'm headed to Savannah to pick up the Medela hospital grade pump I reserved with my credit card. I'll speak to a lactation consultant while I'm there. We are supplementing Little E's diet with formula and she is doing well on that but she loves getting the breast milk in a bottle when it is available. Hopefully in a month or two she'll be able to latch on, for now we try daily to get her to latch when she is most hungry. We do feed her every 2.5 hours a full 2 ounces of formula plus the breast milk. Hopefully we'll be able to increase the feeding time and ounces soon as we hate waking her up to give her a bottle. Sleep is important for all of us.
As for the weight I gained during pregnancy. Here is where I'll be honest about numbers. I weighed 224 before I found out I was pregnant. I weighed 227 the day I delivered. Yes, only a three pound weight gain. Today I stepped on the scale and it read twice, I always check it twice, 200.4 lbs. Almost 27 pounds lost in two weeks. However, my size 16 jeans are snug where I have the incision mark from the hysterectomy. The incision is still bruised and badly swollen. Normally at 200 pounds I would be wearing a size 14.
With any luck I'll be down to a size 12 by Christmas I keep telling myself. We'll see. First I need to get strong. Losing so much blood and a uterus really can wear a body down. At least they saved my life and I'm here so I can once again complain about the trivial things in life.
Last night I asked J to tell me what happened after I blacked out from the blood loss. I still have a hard time believing that I had a seizure. I didn't know that a person going into shock would have a seizure. I remember the people working on me calling my name a few times and seeing a bag valve mask on my face but not much else. I remember J telling me that my blood pressure bottomed out too. He said it kept dropping after he read to the staff the last numbers he saw which were 80/50. I wanted to live so I did with the help of everyone and God's blessing. Still it is scary to think about so I don't think about it much. Maybe in a year when Little E has her first birthday I'll remember a bit more but I doubt it.
In just a few days I'll be turning 45. Not sure what I'm going to wish for this year on my birthday candle. I have everything I could want already.
Little E lost more than half a pound after being born. However, she gained it all back with frequent feedings plus she grew an inch in length!
J has been sleep deprived learning how to be a dad. His mom just left today to go back home after spending a week with us taking care of J and doing a couple of night feedings each night. I say she took care of him because well I was taking care of me including getting my own nutrition. I'm not going to go into the issues there but the iron pills prescribed to be taken 3 times daily make it difficult to get in proper meals since they have to be taken on an empty stomach.
When I left the hospital on the 12th of July my hemocrit was 12 something and last week Friday at an appointment we went to it had dropped to 9.6. Yeah not good. I was ordered back to bed for the rest of the pelvic rest. If you know me well you know that this is going to be nigh impossible. For one, J has to sign in off of paternity leave tomorrow which means if he can't get regular leave I'll be alone with the baby and the house work. Secondly, I'm not the type to let the house work go especially living in a southern climate where if you let the dirt build up you'll give bugs an invitation like you would a vampire into you house; "hey come suck the life out of me while you hunt me down!".
Little E can't latch on to me because my nipples are too big for her almost preemie baby size being born at 5 pounds 11.1 ounces. She has a tiny mouth. I am using the Avent Isis manual pump but the right breast, I think it is the one with the benign tumor, isn't producing much but a few drops of milk. Tomorrow I'm headed to Savannah to pick up the Medela hospital grade pump I reserved with my credit card. I'll speak to a lactation consultant while I'm there. We are supplementing Little E's diet with formula and she is doing well on that but she loves getting the breast milk in a bottle when it is available. Hopefully in a month or two she'll be able to latch on, for now we try daily to get her to latch when she is most hungry. We do feed her every 2.5 hours a full 2 ounces of formula plus the breast milk. Hopefully we'll be able to increase the feeding time and ounces soon as we hate waking her up to give her a bottle. Sleep is important for all of us.
As for the weight I gained during pregnancy. Here is where I'll be honest about numbers. I weighed 224 before I found out I was pregnant. I weighed 227 the day I delivered. Yes, only a three pound weight gain. Today I stepped on the scale and it read twice, I always check it twice, 200.4 lbs. Almost 27 pounds lost in two weeks. However, my size 16 jeans are snug where I have the incision mark from the hysterectomy. The incision is still bruised and badly swollen. Normally at 200 pounds I would be wearing a size 14.
With any luck I'll be down to a size 12 by Christmas I keep telling myself. We'll see. First I need to get strong. Losing so much blood and a uterus really can wear a body down. At least they saved my life and I'm here so I can once again complain about the trivial things in life.
Last night I asked J to tell me what happened after I blacked out from the blood loss. I still have a hard time believing that I had a seizure. I didn't know that a person going into shock would have a seizure. I remember the people working on me calling my name a few times and seeing a bag valve mask on my face but not much else. I remember J telling me that my blood pressure bottomed out too. He said it kept dropping after he read to the staff the last numbers he saw which were 80/50. I wanted to live so I did with the help of everyone and God's blessing. Still it is scary to think about so I don't think about it much. Maybe in a year when Little E has her first birthday I'll remember a bit more but I doubt it.
In just a few days I'll be turning 45. Not sure what I'm going to wish for this year on my birthday candle. I have everything I could want already.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)