Puzzled

With the help of my friend and neighbor TM the puzzle that is missing a piece is finished.  TM would come over often during J's absence, he's been away for training and still is, and help me put in the pieces.  I think I'll pass this gem on to my cousins.
Putting together puzzles helps me get lost in time, feel like I'm getting something accomplished, and keep what little sanity I have left while on hormones.

Oh and hello CD 1.  Hoping you'll be the last one I see until late next Summer.

Continuing Pain

I'm still here.  The pain is still here.

I tried to sleep in this morning but I forgot to have J remove the phone from the bedroom and turn down/off the ringers.  So at 0930 S calls me and is upset that Equity is refusing to come out for her non-emergency toilet running.  I told her give me 30 minutes and we'll be over there to fix it.

Army wives need to know how to fix something as simple as a leaky faucet, dryer hose disconnect, running toilet, etc...but alas most of them don't know how to fend for themselves when the repairman is not on duty for regular maintenance calls. 

We hauled over with us the tool box and repair manual.  We get there and S says that it stopped.  Really?  This means that I missed my sleep, I have a headache, didn't get in a shower and well I'm in fricken pain.  I didn't say all this to S but I did get a rather cool reception from her because I wasn't at home for her phone call telling me that I wasn't needed anymore.  Sorry but when I say I'll be there in 30 minutes it means you'd better call me within 20 to tell me you don't need me because the other 10 minutes is spent traveling in the car to your place.

By the way, the T3 is just a joke.  I'm starting to wonder if its really T3 or just placebo pills that look like T3 because its not working on my pain level.  I guess come Monday I'll be calling and begging for an ultrasound to find out what the heck is wrong inside of me now.  This is just stupid making me deal with this pain when they could be doing something for me.

So no I'm not angry with S I'm angry with my pain and the fact that I just fell asleep and got woken up because of my own stupidity of not taking the phone off the hook.  But I just don't understand why she is cool with me.  Usually I get a two arm hug, now I get a one arm barely hug me hug when just yesterday it was different.  I can't figure out people.  Maybe its because J had other things he had to do today and couldn't babysit at the last minute her boys so she could get some glamor shots done?  Well J has only 48 hours off a week and he needs to get stuff done here that he likes and wants to do.  I certainly can't be babysitting kids right now with my pain level.

S if you are reading this please understand that I'm in pain and not angry with you.

Gifting; Is It Better To Receive?

Well last night I received a gift from someone that I had not bought a gift for.  My husband knew an hour before his friend arrived that the guy was going to give us each a gift.  Fair warning would have been nice.  I hate to receive any gift without the chance to give one back because that is how I was taught.

What makes this worse is that the guy giving the gift was the one I mentioned in my blog, He's Not My Friend, and well I felt bad about receiving the gift for two reason.  First reason is that I did blog about him and second is because he gave me something without me giving back.  I graciously accepted the gift, a dvd, How To Train Your Dragon. 

I do love this particular movie and I watched it at the post theater while my husband was deployed.  My husband has yet to see the movie so we'll end up watching it together.

Now I have a question or two for you readers.

1) If you are given an unexpected gift do you graciously accept it and tell the person you didn't get them one but will get them one later?
        or
2)  Do you just accept the gift and think that in this case its a small repayment for the damage he's done to the furniture?  I guess you'll have to read that blog page to understand what I'm thinking.

I gave the guy a hug and thanked him.  He thought I'd never seen the movie.  I said that I have and I enjoyed it.

After my husband's friend left, must have been at least an hour, I asked my husband if he knew about the gifts before hand.  He said "yes".  I'm wondering if he was so absent minded to not realize that I give gifts back and I would feel awful receiving anything from this friend of his.  He knows how I feel about his friend.  Why did he not warn me?  I asked him that very question.  His reply was, "I didn't think".  I've been hearing that excuse a lot from him lately.  Its not going to fly with me.  I detest being put on the spot like this with my shields down, totally unprepared for a gift from this particular individual.

So to anyone that is reading this, if you are planning on gifting to me this year and I don't know about it you'd best tell me now if you are expecting a gift back.  I've been on the opposite end before and gifted to other people with nothing in return, it can cause hurt feelings on both sides.  I love to give and don't really care if I get in return but I learned my lesson  Christmas 1995.

Ah yes, another typical Christmas horror story told by yet another person.  Picture it, Northern New York 1995 its -40 F that day.  Due to the events that happened I ended up with frost bite on my ear.  A day before Christmas I arrived from Texas with my ex.  All things considered it was a decent 36 hour almost non-stop drive.  I had done my shopping in San Marcos, TX and I shopped well.  There used to be a day when I was younger that I could out shop anyone but no longer as I detest shopping.  I had gifts for everyone that year.  Really nice gifts too.  One was for my persnickety sibling under the tree.  I knew he'd like it.  He's a clothes horse and usually very well dressed.

Christmas morning arrived.  We all opened our gifts.  Everyone was pleased.  One gift was left under the tree.  The one from me to my brother.  He refused to open it.  But why?  He said he had nothing to give back to me.  I didn't care.  My ex did care.  My ex wanted to fight.  My ex had been drinking.  My ex felt insulted. I  decided it was okay I would keep the gift and I'd wear it instead since I liked the gift. 

Because of the fight my brother left the house to not come back as long as we were in residence.  He stayed at my cousin's house.  Tensions were high that year.  My ex floored the gas pedal and fishtailed out of my parents driveway leaving me there to deal with the aftermath.  I don't like dealing with angry, crying parents.  I left on foot walking the mile down the road to where my ex was at his family's house.  I ended up with frost bite on my right ear.  High winds whipping across the snow covered fields and the temps were registering  a negative 40 F.  Yes well below zero and I with no hat or scarf to cover my face, just my thin wool coat and a body used to the Texas heat.

Since that day gift giving for me has changed.  I'm careful to only gift to those that understand I'm giving without the thought of getting back but if they gift me too its okay. I think its truly the only thing I don't like about the holiday season.

He's Not My Friend

Okay hopefully this doesn't turn into a rant but I can feel one coming on.

 I'm sure there are many of you out there that will see both sides to this post tonight.

 My husband made a close friend while deployed.  I applauded this friendship as in a war zone everyone needs a close friend of whom to confide when the chips are down.  Now that they are both home where it is no longer a war zone I feel as though this friend shouldn't come first and me last.  Sure, sure I know I'm not really coming in last as he still comes home to me each night and never drunk however it seems as though when I'm settling in for some possible cuddle time that is when this friend decides to call and off the husband unit goes.  What am I chopped liver?

From the previous post, those that took time to read it will note I was thinking of some fun time tonight if the chance arose.  HAH!

After four loads of laundry with a bad back, gardening, and foraging for food for myself today I still managed to keep a smile on my face with the hopes of some alone time with the manflesh.  During the daylight hours my spouse decided to mow the lawn, we mow our own front, back and sides unlike a lot of post residents, and of course dig more holes.  Meanwhile the Honey Do List has grown and grown.  Oh its not big things on the list just small ones.  Please hose down the car floor mats of your coffee spills.  Please finish the shelving unit.  Please pick up after yourself and so on.  Hey I'm disabled and can't afford a maid.  I realize that he has a job away from home but I'm not the sit-on-my-butt, bon-bon eating, soap watching Army Wife that some soldiers think their wives are; I cook, clean, do laundry, accounting, and secretarial duties most week days.  Weekends I want a bit of fun time with my mate.

So last week this friend called and got totally insulted that my spouse didn't want to spend but two hours away from me because I was sick.  I have asthma and when I get a bad cough with lots of green mucus production it can mean I'll stop breathing.  I had already been taking my rescue inhaler for a day or so when I was too short of breath.  The friend cut my spouse off on the phone and hung up.  For the past week the guy has been in a snit and has even turned his back on my spouse.  Sheesh talk about IMS (irritable man syndrome) throw the guy a cow part already some one, please!

Tonight the friend calls.  So my husband left all worried about his friend, like the guy was suicidal or something which he wasn't, but the way the conversation was going one would have assumed he was from what I heard my spouse saying to him on the phone.  Turns out the friend just wanted to talk to my husband about why he was upset and wouldn't speak to him for a week.  This friend told my husband tonight that normal mucus is yellow or green and its only bad if its red.  WTF? Seriously?  I've been sick enough that my PA wanted to add another asthma medicine to my daily regime just this week!  So he was not talking to my spouse for a week just because my spouse decided it was best to stay home last week Friday to make sure I would continue to breathe on my own.

I have bent over backwards to make my husband's friend feel welcome in our home.  I've cooked for him.  I've had him stay over three nights.  We've taken him out to dinner.  Heck when the friend's dad was in town I even invited him over to dinner.  I made Sauerbraten that night, a dish that takes three days to prepare.

 I think that I've truly put in a lot of effort and I'm putting my foot down now.  He's not my friend.  He has no intention of trying to be friends with me obviously.  Its as though he looks at me as if I were something in the way of his friendship with my husband.  I do understand that the friend misses the daily chats, work outs, meals and movie time with my spouse that the last year has given him but my spouse is home now and married to me.  Get a life dude.  Better yet get a girlfriend and you'll find out that couple time is precious.

I'm at the end of my rant.  Thank you for reading.  Hope you'll find some humor in the above and a better understanding of what can upset an Army Wife.