S.A.L.Talks

Secret
After
Lunch
Talks

Yesterday after my lunch J showed up to have his and we talked about how my blog is a "threat" to national security.  I thought he just had to kidding.  How could my vagina blog have anything at all to do with security?

J told me without a smile, "Babe, the government owns your vagina."

Me:  "How do you figure that?"

J:  "They pay for your treatments."

Me:  "Can I get a refund?"

We came to a peaceful agreement that I'm screwed without the petroleum lube and cigarette finish.  What is the worst they'll do to me?  Fine me?  Jail time?  Tell my college to revoke my degree in English?  Or maybe they'll just die laughing while reading what I wrote?

Well since I'm married to a soldier who has a job in the Army which is, well I'm not allowed to mention what he does, anything I do that is public has to be investigated to.  I really hope they enjoy reading my blog posts. 

I have failed my secret mission.  We all know from the outside that Army Wives are extra fertile.  Maybe that has something to do with the investigation into my vagina.  I've covertly followed a few pregnant ladies around the PX to find out what they would buy for their expectant bundle of joy.  No big secrets there.  Enlisted wives buy the best bargains they can find off the clearance rack while wistfully looking at the regularly priced merchandise and putting it on their wish lists.

Now I realize that I must have gotten into the wrong line at West Point where I got my first military ID card.  I should have found the line that gave me fully functioning reproductive organs.  But I wasn't clued in to where that line was.  Heck, I had a hard time just finding the building where the ID cards were done as all the buildings look alike and you are just given a building number to go find.  Mind you the building numbers rarely go in order like houses on a street.  So is there any wonder I'm a misfit infertile Army Wife?

My Blog; A National Threat?

Well today's posting was going to be all about how I've managed to lose 6.6 pounds in just a week.  Of course I was also going to blog about how the endometrin is affecting my body and not in a good way.

Instead this looks like my blog post for today is going to be a rant.

My blog is a threat to national security?  How? 

It isn't like I'm revealing any secrets.  Well unless you mean that I mentioned where we are going next but that is just so highly classified that no one is allowed to know right?  <insert tons of sarcasm there>

Or maybe it is that my menstrual cycles are of national importance and the world shouldn't know because I really was cloned as a baby?  I always told my parents I was important but they didn't believe me.

I called my husband on his cell phone this morning, just now actually, to remind him of something he needed to do soon for himself.  He is a busy guy and he does forget to do personal things like buy things and pick up his dry cleaning.  I didn't even get to mention the dry cleaning but that doesn't have to be done until tomorrow.  Well back to the point.  He tells me that he needs to know all the contact information for every one that can see my blog in Europe. 

You've got to be kidding!  I gave him the local number of a friend that was overseas and commented on my blog but she is now back in the states as of two weeks now.  So if anyone wants to give me their contact information I'm game.  I think this is such bull shit.  I told my spouse he needs to keep his mouth shut about my blog as it isn't a threat to security and I don't blog about anything that could be close to OPSEC.  I'm not that stupid.

Well unless of course my vagina is of national security.  Then of course I'm in big trouble.