Yesterday after my lunch J showed up to have his and we talked about how my blog is a "threat" to national security. I thought he just had to kidding. How could my vagina blog have anything at all to do with security?
J told me without a smile, "Babe, the government owns your vagina."
Me: "How do you figure that?"
J: "They pay for your treatments."
Me: "Can I get a refund?"
We came to a peaceful agreement that I'm screwed without the petroleum lube and cigarette finish. What is the worst they'll do to me? Fine me? Jail time? Tell my college to revoke my degree in English? Or maybe they'll just die laughing while reading what I wrote?
Well since I'm married to a soldier who has a job in the Army which is, well I'm not allowed to mention what he does, anything I do that is public has to be investigated to. I really hope they enjoy reading my blog posts.
I have failed my secret mission. We all know from the outside that Army Wives are extra fertile. Maybe that has something to do with the investigation into my vagina. I've covertly followed a few pregnant ladies around the PX to find out what they would buy for their expectant bundle of joy. No big secrets there. Enlisted wives buy the best bargains they can find off the clearance rack while wistfully looking at the regularly priced merchandise and putting it on their wish lists.
Now I realize that I must have gotten into the wrong line at West Point where I got my first military ID card. I should have found the line that gave me fully functioning reproductive organs. But I wasn't clued in to where that line was. Heck, I had a hard time just finding the building where the ID cards were done as all the buildings look alike and you are just given a building number to go find. Mind you the building numbers rarely go in order like houses on a street. So is there any wonder I'm a misfit infertile Army Wife?