Days Passing By

While J is away I've been trying to keep my sanity.  Today my RE office called to let me know I could go pick up a script that they just got in.  Nothing major just the prenatal vitamins.  I really don't feel like leaving the house today so I won't.  This is my second day of not having to leave the house to drive some place and I'm enjoying the bit of a break.

J left last week, middle of the week, and I've been driving all over since he left.  My days are so run together that I can't remember what I got accomplished on what day now.

My typical day is this while he is away:
0130 hrs in bed finally to sleep
0300 hrs up to pee
0430 hrs or slightly before - up to take meds
0600 hrs up again to pee
0830 hrs to take more meds
1000 hrs finally drag myself out of bed to pee, wash, and get dressed
1030 hrs scoop liter box, become slave to new cat, try to get work done including online shop
1230 hrs oh yeah I forgot to eat didn't I.  Time to eat.
1430 hrs after dishes are done, laundry started, housework middle of completion become slave to cat again.
1730 hrs realize I should make dinner
1800 hrs cat says he wants dinner now  feed Bugsy now inside
1815 hrs feed stray cat outside
1900 hrs read for a bit then computer time with the hopes of catching my husband online

Now what J has been doing in photographs.  I am assuming I can put the photos here as they were on facebook already along with their time table so I can't really consider it an OPSEC violation if they are already that public.

Kind of self explanatory with all the photos.  He set up tents, dug firing positions, stood guard duty, taught map reading, received a medal, goes to work in his MOS, back to guard duty and somewhere in all that he gets some sleep and food before  his day starts all over again.  Mind you he doesn't have a tent to sleep in but that is okay because quite a few others don't have tents either with the ground being too hard to put in regular tent pegs.  I can assure you he still has shelter to sleep in, just not the conventional tent kind.

OPSEC and Ham

I am Sam.
Sam I am.
Do you like OPSEC and ham?
I do not get it, Sam I am.
I do not get OPSEC and ham.
We must use it here and there.
We must use it everywhere.
You CAN share it in a car.
But you CANNOT in a bar.
You CANNOT share it in a text.
You CANNOT share it at the NEX.
You CAN say it in your house.
But should NOT tell a random spouse.
You CAN say it in the shower.
But do NOT go sharing at happy hour.
DON’T make the Ombudsman sweat.
DON’T post it on the internet.
You CANNOT share it in a tweet.
That would not be very sweet.
Beware of Facebook and Myspace and Tumblr too.
It’s tempting to let your feelings through.
You Cannot tell it to a friend.
NOT even at the very end.
It is a privilege to know a date.
DON’T tell ANYONE or they may be late!
Oh, I get it, Sam I am.
Now I get OPSEC and ham!
I will not tell anyone. I will keep hushed until they’re done!
I will not tell him or her. I will not tell my dog with fur.
I will not tell my child’s teacher. I will not tell any creature.
Thank you, THANK YOU, Sam I am.
Thank you for clearing up OPSEC and Ham!!

My Blog; A National Threat?

Well today's posting was going to be all about how I've managed to lose 6.6 pounds in just a week.  Of course I was also going to blog about how the endometrin is affecting my body and not in a good way.

Instead this looks like my blog post for today is going to be a rant.

My blog is a threat to national security?  How? 

It isn't like I'm revealing any secrets.  Well unless you mean that I mentioned where we are going next but that is just so highly classified that no one is allowed to know right?  <insert tons of sarcasm there>

Or maybe it is that my menstrual cycles are of national importance and the world shouldn't know because I really was cloned as a baby?  I always told my parents I was important but they didn't believe me.

I called my husband on his cell phone this morning, just now actually, to remind him of something he needed to do soon for himself.  He is a busy guy and he does forget to do personal things like buy things and pick up his dry cleaning.  I didn't even get to mention the dry cleaning but that doesn't have to be done until tomorrow.  Well back to the point.  He tells me that he needs to know all the contact information for every one that can see my blog in Europe. 

You've got to be kidding!  I gave him the local number of a friend that was overseas and commented on my blog but she is now back in the states as of two weeks now.  So if anyone wants to give me their contact information I'm game.  I think this is such bull shit.  I told my spouse he needs to keep his mouth shut about my blog as it isn't a threat to security and I don't blog about anything that could be close to OPSEC.  I'm not that stupid.

Well unless of course my vagina is of national security.  Then of course I'm in big trouble.

PCM Appointment and Ponderings

Sedimentary deposits on the access road to Pacific Beach.  Photo by me.

First off the PCM appointment went well.  Dr. G. listened well to me and decided to do the blood work though he too thinks that without a doubt I at least have an allergy to gluten.  He isn't sure that the blood work will show much as the test has to be done, according to his computer, after I've been eating gluten for a month straight.  He didn't want me sick for that long so he had the blood drawn yesterday.

Funny thing was that even though I've ditched my asthma medicines completely the wheezing has cleared up on its own.  Dr.G. said, "I don't know what you've been using to clear it up but its gone and whatever you've been doing keep it up.".  Interesting.  Maybe it was the vacation to the ocean?  Since then my breathing has gotten better.  I also have a new referral to Gastroenterology in the computer and will be able to call and book my appointment some time next week after its been approved for an available opening.

Now for my ponderings.

I can't figure out why they are deploying J.  He was told he wasn't going to be on the list.  He's on the list.  I wonder if its because I miscarried again.  I mean how is that nice to take away my spouse when we are both still grieving?

This third loss is tearing us both up.  I urged J to make sure he tries to get an appointment to talk to a counselor about the grief.  Seriously I have my own psychologist and we see a marriage counselor but J has no outlet and I've seen just how much this is tearing him up inside.  He is so angry and yet within seconds he is almost in tears.  If I didn't know better I'd say he was injecting himself with my IVF meds.

I know quite well that he is afraid that I might again be pregnant and that we might very well lose this one too if I am.  Really when a soldier deploys he has to get into the zone.  Yes, they get their tunnel vision before they deploy and become real bears to live with.  Its not that they don't love us its just that they have to build up that protective wall again.  The worst part is that we had just broken through that wall and now he is defenseless due to the repeat pregnancy loss.

I'm worried about him.  He is going to a hostile country.  Of late there have been more killings.  I don't want to be a widow.  I have to tell you its a big fear among us military spouses because it can very well happen.  Just the other day there was a training accident in the news.  More dead.  I guess I'll be breathing easier when he gets back home again.  I'd breath a lot easier if they just sent him off on some field exercise.  Well no I doubt I'd be happy with that either.

I know I can handle being apart from him.  I've done it before and I can do it again.  I'm not one of those fall apart spouses that can't handle being left alone.  I'm far from friendless and defenseless.  I know how to take care of myself and shoot an intruder.  Yes, my father, a former soldier himself, taught me well.

I know J will come home again.  But I don't know how well he'll be when he gets back.   He ended up being medivac'd to Balad last time.

I can't worry about the unknown because I can't control it.  I can only live the time I'm in right now and plan for a future with many different options.  I can dream of long vacations together.  I can dream that some how they'll still decide to leave him behind.  But in the end I have to face reality.

Due to OPSEC I won't be posting where he is or when he leaves.  I can only post that he will be leaving and how things are going well after he gets to his destination.

Beginnings

Since this is the very first posting to my blog I figured that I would introduce myself a bit for those that actually decide to read this blog, here goes nothing.

I'm an Army Wife.  Yup, that's right.  I've been an Army Wife now for just over three years and yes I'm counting.  No, I'm not counting the days until my husband leaves the Army (I'm married to a great guy that wants to make a career of this job) but I am counting the days so to speak with the experiences and friends I've made over the past three years,  five months and several days.  I won't give the exact dates or names in this blog as I need to remember the rules of PERSEC and OPSEC.  Yeah, okay, sure.  But truly its something as an Army Wife that I need to remember so that others are not put into harm's way.

I've been married for a touch over five years and most of that five years has been spent apart from my spouse.  Army life isn't easy by no means on any family member whether its the spouse sitting at home dreading that phone call that tells you your spouse has been injured or if you are the parent of a soldier hoping for some communication from your child letting you know they are alive and well.  But there are the joys of being part of the Army family too.

In this blog I will be hopefully telling my readers more about both ends of the Army life.  I will include even the mundane part as well as the exciting bits as most of the Army life is just the ordinary routine.

Before I get too sidetracked I'll give you bit more about me besides the obvious that I'm an Army Wife which means I'm a female.  lol duh!  I'm also approaching middle age fast, trying to start a family and coping with my disabilities as well as trying to maintain an air of normalcy.

I'm going to have typos and grammatical mistakes I just ask that you readers bear with me.  Hopefully you'll laugh with me, cheer me on and geez, I hope you don't cry but I can't promise a single thing as Army life has its ups and down.