I've been reading a book by Mark Gungor about marriage. Well my mind wandered to needs today while in the shower. Has anyone else noticed that pets fulfill our needs? Of course you have. No, pets are not in the book, the book is about marriage.
I've noticed that cats respond to the givers. Cats take, much like a man does in a relationship. Very few men will give back willingly unless they are guaranteed something in return, much like a cat. I fancy cats as pets much more than dogs though I do love dogs equally as much. Cats are independent, you can leave them alone for awhile and they will still, for the most part, take care of themselves. But they do ask for a lot in exchange for the want of their freedoms. Cats will wake you up in the middle of the night, much like my husband does with his snoring. Cats will demand their food at certain times of the day and not walk away without promising with one look to get even. Cats sulk.
My husband is like a cat. My husband wants his food at certain times of the day. He wants what he wants when he wants it. I love him for it but he can get annoying when he doesn't give back.
Dogs keep giving. Dogs are my husband's favorite pet when he has to choose. Dogs will fetch for you, greet you at the door, and will be loyal. Oh we all know about dogs so I'll stop rambling.
I'm like a dog. I give, and give and give and only ask occasionally for what I need. I need to learn to ask more often. I need to stop being like a dog and learn to be more like a cat. I need to take what I need and then some. I have to be a strong woman who gets her needs and wants met.
I'm not saying that I want to bully my husband and bark at him like a dog that is going rabid. I'm saying that I need to stick up for myself and say NO. Men can't read our minds. Men are often far away in their "nothing box" when they are supposed to be sitting down next to us listening.
I'm learning from this book by Mark Gungor which is a follow up to the marriage retreat J and I went to. I've been reading aloud to him sections from the book. He doesn't like hearing how selfish and immature the modern man has become. I don't like hearing how the modern woman just gives way too much of herself and devalues herself either. We will find that balance to continue to make the marriage grow in the right direction.
Okay so I rambled on. Darn shower thoughts.
I love this post and really agree with a lot of this. :)
ReplyDeleteI'm hoping that when J and I finish reading the book, we both have copies of it, we'll find a way to better meet each others needs.
DeleteI can totally see the comparison! I think both DH and I should be more like rabbits, so maybe eventually we will get a kit or two. =D
ReplyDeleteIf only it were that easy, right?
DeleteMarriage can be so hard. It's great to hear that you two are taking the time to work on and grow your relationship together. The great thing is that sacrificial love wants to meet a partner's need more than their own need. When both partners in the relationship are committed to this style of love, EVERYONE wins!
ReplyDeleteThe added fun of trying to make a marriage work is the Army. This week, and most likely next week too, are filled with late nights. I see him when he is ready to fall asleep. Well it is more than some Army wives get.
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