I can remember when I divorced back in 2002. Life wasn't easy and that was putting it lightly. I had to move home with my two cats and all my possessions to a four bedroom house that belonged to my parents. Oh and my parents were still living in it too.
After being married for eleven years a sudden change in my status as an adult to that of a child, hey I'm not kidding you because when I moved back home I was treated like a child with a curfew, really hurt. Not only was I losing a spouse, no big loss there, but to lose the respect of one's parents really sucked.
Once again I had to prove myself to the world. I had to show my parents and the community that I was an adult and should be treated as one even if my living conditions were a bit more than the temporary that I had hoped for.
First I got a job. Not a great job but a job that helped to pay the majority of the bills I needed to pay. There was no way my retail income would cover rent and the food bill together. I swallowed my pride and asked my parents if it was okay if I couldn't pay them rent. They were okay with that fact as they knew my divorce was costing me every last dime I could scrape together. I ended up paying out almost five thousand dollars for my divorce. I chuckle every time I think about what I paid considering that I also paid for the marriage license and the first month's rent on our apartment. What was I thinking to even marry that dirt bag?
With the move home I found I was able to swallow my pride, lick my wounds and fight back for my survival when necessary. I learned that I was worth a better life. I wasn't going to allow another man to hit me without them going down too. Well at least they would go down when the cops would get involved since I'm handicapped and can only fight just so much.
Looking back to that rough period in my life I will never forget how much my parents took care of me. Even though they were never the best at parenting they did what they could with their adult child to guide her in the right direction so that she, me that is, would have a decent relationship with another man some day. I guess that is what my hidden inheritance was when I was finally able to uncover it; the knowledge for a lasting love, the love of a parent for their child.
This post was inspired by the novel The Mill River Redemption by Darcie Chan, about two estranged sisters who are forced to work together in order to uncover the hidden inheritance by their mother. Join From Left to Write on December 2nd as we discuss The Mill River Redemption and enter to win a copy of the novel. As a member, I received a copy of the book for review purposes.
What a journey! I'm glad that you were able to move past that. Now you're married to an amazing man and a beautiful little gir.
ReplyDeleteI'm not quite through with the book but in reading your post I gather that the inheritance the two sisters are going to find in the end is not money right?
ReplyDeleteExcellent post. It is hard to go back home. I too married an abusive man and after 13 years of marriage I went back home and with my two kids, age 7 and 11. Luckily my parents were the best parents ever and never let me down.
This was such an inspiring post -- you've been through so much, but your experiences seem to have made you so much stronger. One thing I realized pretty quickly when I became a mom was that regardless of my son's age, I'd be his mom -- and there for him -- always. Parenthood doesn't end when the children become adults. :)
ReplyDelete