Family: The Pain That Keeps Giving

I'm having one of those days where the Fibromyalgia pain is kicking my butt, shoulder, left ankle, neck, oh heck it all hurts.

I'm wondering if with taking the acetaminophen there isn't a little me just laughing sitting there on my shoulder at my futile attempts to control the pain.  I'd turn my head to take a look but that hurts too.

Its been an interesting past 11 days.  I've been holding in more secrets since my last posting about keeping secrets on the 6th of December.  I've been having more chest pains, irregular heart beat, and my blood pressure is way too high for being on the blood pressure medicine but I think I might have mentioned that in a recent blog.  The secret is that one of my parents in the hospital....AGAIN!  Yes the very one that I said was courting bad Karma in my blog post Taking Joy In Someones Pain.  Karma got his butt.  I'm not happy about it and I did warn him.  Mom made me promise to not tell any of the family until my father was well enough and no longer in the ICU.  Over the weekend, after almost a week in the ICU, he was finally transferred to a regular room.  Soon he'll be in a nursing home.  This is his fourth attack of congestive heart failure.  Heart issues seem to run in the family.

Since my closest relatives don't read my blog it doesn't really matter that I post about my dad here.  Mom only told me to not call any of my family friends and tell them if she thought they might blab.  I have one cousin that would do just that.  No, not you Nicki you read my blog the one that blabs doesn't.

So far my dad has had four close brushes with death.  This time is the worst it looks like.  He also has pneumonia and an infection in the blood.  If and when he comes home he'll be on machines.  Mom has already told me what the doctors have told her that he has been on borrowed time for the past five years.  We knew this too.  Some how my dad is always able to spring back just enough for just long enough to make it a few months without getting sick.  Maybe science should study his immune system.

So yes I'm more grumpy this holiday season due to two miscarriages so close together and one deathly ill parent.  I may not be close to my father but he is my father and I do not wish ill upon him or any other human due to the ripple effect.

Last week, late at night I called my spouse to let him know about my father in the hospital.  He was in the process of doing his sneaky work that I had to interrupt with tears.  I wouldn't have called but for the fact that he needed to know if I had to suddenly fly home.  The ripple effect does effect everyone.

On a happy note, my refrigerator vegetable compartments are now filled with my IVF medicines.  I picked up my grocery bag of medicines yesterday, my laundry bag of needles and got my flu shot too.  I'm all set. Come to think of it maybe its the flu shot making me all achy today; it probably is at that.

Bruised In More Ways Than One

I'm bruised.  Not just on my arm but its a starting point. 

Yesterday I had my Estradiol level drawn and the guy wasn't all that gentle.  Not only did he bruise me but he left a spider web of blown veins resulting in pretty purple lines on my arm.  I'm none too happy about it either.

My levels aren't what I was hoping for either.  My ego is now bruised.  I was hoping that even at my advanced age of 42 I would some how beat the odds.  No such luck.  My Day 3 Estradiol level was 82.  Anything above 80 means that my egg store is depleting.  Looks like this might just be my last try for a baby. 

I was hoping for another try next year, head in the clouds, after delivering a healthy baby next summer.  I can dream.  I can stay positive.

This is a 2 x 2 inch round bruise from one Lupron shot on my abdomen.  The other red dots are from other shots for this IVF cycle.

Funny how no one told me to expect bruising from the smallest needle.  Its a bloody insulin needle!  I would have thought that perhaps the needle from the Menopur would bruise me but no, the Lupron shot got me.

Luckily enough neither of the two bruises hurt.  The Menopur does sting when its injected but for me I'm able to tolerate it well enough.  Maybe all my fat helps?

Different subject here.  The cookies I made yesterday are the Oatmeal Scotchies recipe on the back of the Toll House morsels bag just substitute the butterscotch chips for the same amount of milk chocolate chips.  The soldiers at the COF love them or so I was told at lunch time by my husband.

Tonight I'm going to make No Chop Pastistio for dinner.  This means I need to get my duff off my computer chair and get started on making it pronto!  Its a delightful dish but there is a lot of messy prep work for that particular dish.