Attempting A First

As the time comes closer for the guys to come back I'm in on the planning committee to make a few welcome homes a bit better.

Just three gals, including me, showed up to the meeting with the head and two others that also work with the head.  Yes, I'm being vague since I can't be specific.

We decided posters for the barracks but food for the guys when the get home to the main point.  I loved the idea of chili but I'll leave that up to the other two and I'll make the cookies as well cookies are my specialty.

So I'm prepping the house for the first ever huge amount of dough to be burned baked in my ovens over a two or three day period.  I'll be making twenty-four dozen cookies.  I would attempt to do it all in one day if I were still in my 20's but hey I'm not in my 20's and I'm pregnant.   I need to take it easy.

I'm in the processing of defrosting the butter which will take a few days since there is so much of it.  Great thing about butter is that it freezes well and I love to purchase at least four pounds of it at a time to have on hand for those baking emergencies.

I have the ingredients lined up for the most part with the exception of all the flour I'll need but I keep sacks, yes I keep several sacks, of flour on hand.  Hey, I like to bake and cook.

So we'll see what happens when the guys come home.  I don't even have a set in stone date yet.  I'm just planning ahead.

Busy Day

Well the weight is still there.  Guessing that 1.2 pounds is going to stay around.  I've been drinking more water, eating less sodium foods, eating plenty of fiber.  Must be the extra hormone that was introduced late last week.  Estrogen binds with fat which produces more estrogen which creates more fat in the body...vicious circle.  Hakuna Matata.

My clothes are fitting me much better.  My stomach muscles are shaping up.  I have definition now.  Must be all the sit-ups I've been doing.  I have the beginnings of a four-pack and my husband hates how easily my stomach muscles tone up when he has work hard at a six pack.  Oh well!  Maybe it is the flexing exercises I do while sitting down that help?

Moodiness is evening out.  Chickenpig was right that the estrogen would take over soon enough.  I found myself weepy yesterday instead of angry.

Today I'm going to bake cookies for the soldiers at the COF.  Last week I didn't bake any because the floor in my utility room, the room off my kitchen, was being ripped up and new tile was being put down.  The smell was awful.

I need to get my butt moving.  I've got a lot of things that I still need to get done today around the house and with my at home job.  Yikes it is already 1130 hrs!

Cookie Day

These are the cookies I made up yesterday for J to take to work today.

Oreo cookies covered in vanilla candy melts.  Easy to do but yes it is time consuming.  Would probably have been even more time consuming if I had used the decorator bags to pip the candy into the molds.  I did try on just two cookies to spoon the different color in place but it bled out.  You can see the two cookies in the back that I tried it out on.  Really I don't think the soldiers are going to care what they look like but only how they taste.

In other news, for the past three days I've been making pineapple smoothies.  I found that I really don't like the one with the frozen banana in it at all.  It gives me indigestion.  Yesterday I made pineapple and blueberry smoothie which wasn't bad.  Today it was pineapple and blackberry smoothie.  I make enough for two servings so that I get my serving in every morning and J can have his serving, I stick it in the freezer, as more of a frozen fruit ice in the evening.

My smoothie recipe:

1 cup of frozen fruit
3 ice cubes
1 TBSP honey; more or less for sweetness
3 pineapple rings
1 cup almond milk or low fat milk

Puree' in blender and serve in a glass.



I bought a large package of Oreo double stuff for the above cookies.

In The Meadow We Can Build A Snowman

I realize it is lopsided but I did tell J to stop shoving it my way.  We built a snowman together.  I started the mid section myself and he finished it.  We lifted the mid section together and mounted it on the bottom.  I made the head. 

Why pointed?

Sorry if it is blurry, it was windy last night.

The snowman is wearing a hoodie like my husband so they both have pointed heads.

J never asked why the point on the head.

We had a snowball fight before starting on the snowman.  Just couldn't help ourselves.  Last year we had a lot more snow by now and I wasn't allowed outside because J was afraid I'd get hurt.  Ugh!  Just because I had an IUI yesterday doesn't mean I'm going to stop living life.  Exercise is good for me.

Today, after I get done with the laundry, I'm going to start making cookies.  Since his brigade is home now and not everyone is on leave yet I'm making cookies to say "thank you" to the soldiers.  I used to make cookies for them before they deployed too.

Making Cookies For The RE

Well I'm feeling good enough in the mornings now that I thought I would try my hand at baking again.  So as soon as I'm done with the computer today I'm going to bake about 5 dozen cookies.

What kind you ask?

White and Milk Chocolate Macadamia nut cookies.

Oh drool time.

Now I have to be good.  I can't eat them all.  I did promise last week Monday, when I last saw my RE, that I'd bake them some cookies to say thanks.  Oh and I can't eat much of them because of another reason; non-alcoholic fatty liver disease.

I've known for a few months now that I have non-alcoholic fatty liver disease.  Recently, 1 June to be exact, I found out just how bad via the ultrasound.  It could be worse but moderate is bad enough I think.  I have to ask again, "why me?".  I've been good.  I've been dieting and watching what I eat for years.  Well I'm just special is the answer.

I guess for some of us it just doesn't matter what we eat, how much we exercise, or how hard we pray if we pray at all; bad things are just going to happen whether we like it or not.  I think I'll blame genetics.

I can also blame genetics and hormones for my shopping sprees too.  Wait what?  Yes, its true.  Women tend to shop for items that make them more attractive, irregardless of price, when we are ovulating.  Well ovulating is something I can do.  What I can't do is make a baby with my bad eggs or at least one that will stick around any length of time.

So I'll get my happy on today making cookies.  Maybe if they like the cookies so much they'll lift the sex restriction?  I can hope.  E-gads its been at least 6 weeks since I've been allowed sex of any kind.  Hmmm...I wonder what I can put in the cookies to make them do my bidding?

Busy Equals Happy

Its Monday so I'm burning my candle at both ends today.

First thing was to get my lazy broken butt out of bed so that I could shower.  With that part done it was time to turn the computer on and get some breakfast.

Somehow between making breakfast and getting the computer going I was able to get one load of laundry into the  washer and the ingredients out for the three dozen peanut butter cookies I'm making.

I have an FRG meeting tomorrow night after two other meetings and I planned on having cookies with me to place on the dessert table.  We were required to bring a dessert with us if we go to the meeting.  No potluck this time, no its going to a sugar fest.

So with the second load of laundry now in the washer I finally have time for a high test cup of tea.  Not much longer now and I'll be giving up that delicious drug called caffeine.  I think when I start the shots I'll shelve my tea.  Until then its a caffeine rush baby!

I heard from an online company about the position, unpaid, of book reviewer.  Thank you Nicki for asking them about me.  I don't think I'll get to the most recent book as my computer software isn't liking the download format and I didn't get the message until this morning after it was sent last evening about the deadline for the next paper version of the upcoming novel to review.  Eventually I'll get on track with this company and soon I'll be writing book reviews.

I like living a busy life.  Today when I manage to find time I'll be fixing the tree skirt that has slowly been losing its beads and sequin accents over the years.  Each year I say to myself that I'll take care of it as soon as the tree is taken down.   This year I actually got out the sequins, beads and thread colors; so I have ambition.  Its a project I could presumably do from my recliner of an evening; it might end up just being that late too when I hit that particular project.

My back, so far this morning, is behaving.  Yay!  We'll see how it is at the end of the day.

Yesterday I did manage to get out of the house and do some light shopping at the McChord Exchange.  I figured since I found a great deal on jeans at the Lewis Exchange I'd check out the Air Force Base across the street too.

I saved more than I spent.  Big discounts.  I even managed to put away two Christmas gifts for this year already.  I purchased three shirts and one pair of pajama bottoms for my new figure.  Its so nice to now being wearing a L without the X in front of it.

Not to fear of me being too stupid.  I realize that when I get pregnant I'll need larger clothing but with my weight loss I have that covered since I still have all my larger size clothing.  But its just so nice to know that when I do get pregnant I can shop in more stores and have more clothing options.  I dread the tent sized clothing like you wouldn't believe.  I like my clothing to fit me, not look like I'm a total slob like some of the maternity clothes I've seen would do to a figure.  I mean really, at my age one would think I've learned how to dress myself in something other than a Mu-Mu. 

Just A Bundle Of Emotions

Its time to make cookies again.  Most of the ones that like to eat my weekly treats are back off of leave so I'll be baking sometime today to make sure they get their treats.  I know they'll be looking forward to it and it always makes me feel good to bring a bit of happiness to someone else.  They just love my cookies at the COF. 

My moods are a bit mixed up today.  I feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders.  Looks like I'm going to miss that coffee date with a few friends today due to the fact that I don't have transportation.  Won't be the first one I've missed since I'm without my own car.  So that bums me out a bit.

I have laundry still to do and I over slept.  Well I didn't really over sleep but the pain of my newest injury, I slightly sprained my ankle yesterday, yes the one I injured pretty darn bad a few years back.  Plus it seems that my ovulation is triggering a lot of pain on my left side again.  I'm guessing I'm growing another cyst as even a light pressing on my pelvis is causing me  a lot of pain.  Oh and trying to sleep on my back is also a treat since it feels like on the left side my back is being pushed inward with a metal pipe just where the ovary would sit.

Then just add in the wintery mix of weather we are having today.  So um, my arthritis is flaring up along with the fibromyalgia.  I'm just a really fun person to be around today.  I really could use a day with the girls to get away from home.

Tested again this A.M. to see if I'm still within the ovulation window.  Yup, but I can tell with the pain its going to make things uncomfortable if not down right interesting to create this baby we have hope for.  If it doesn't happen for us naturally this cycle there is always the IVF set for January.

I want a baby soon.  Its so depressing to see all my blogger friends getting their BFPs.  I want one too and not just on a stick.  I want it on a BETA!!!

So yeah I'm an emotional bit of fluff today.  Someone needs to come over and blow this mood away from me fast before I just decide to eat all the raw cookie dough before it gets to the oven.

Oh and this week its chocolate chip peanut butter swirl cookies I'll be making.

Cooking Day

Yum.  I'm baking cookies today.  Not just any cookies but a limited edition cookie.

Nestle'  Tollhouse has a limited edition dark chocolate and mint chip bag out right now and I bought a bag.  I can't wait to try out the recipe on the back for Mint Chocolate Delights

My husband can't wait to get his lips around these cookies either.  While I realize that not all the soldiers at the COF will be there to enjoy cookie day tomorrow the rest will finally get a chance to chow down on my cookies.  Seems like that when I make 5 dozen cookies its never enough and the container always empties out about an hour before the end of the day leaving someone without the chance to get a cookie.

So today I'm trying a new recipe.  It does make only 4 dozen but like I said not as many soldiers will be there tomorrow.  I have hope that the ones that want a cookie will find these as delicious as the previous cookie days.

This morning I awoke not just to nausea, no I went to bed with it too last night.  I'm giving up on my stomach.  But I was able to still make J his bacon and eggs for breakfast.  I don't often cook breakfast for my soldier because he is usually in such a hurry.

He asked me, "so why did you make me breakfast?".

I replied, "Well you helped me out."

He said, "I did?".

I replied, "Yes, you gave me my injection this morning.".

He said, "I'd hardly call give you a shot in the ass helping you out, but okay.".

I guess he forgets that its nigh impossible for me to reach around, pull the skin taught, and injection the PIO (progesterone) into my own butt cheek.  Sure I prep the shot each morning by drawing the 1ml out of the bottle with the 18 gauge then switch out the needle to the 22 gauge at 0500hrs.  But really the hard part is what he has to do and I know he doesn't like to inflict pain upon me, even if it is my hard butt.  Yes I have a hard bottom.  I've fallen often enough on it to toughen it up over the years. 

So making him bacon and eggs was just to show that I love him and am thankful to have him in my life.  Oh and I was in a good mood, almost crying with happiness type tears.  Lovely hormones.

Now I'm off to go start those cookies that I promised I'd make.  Maybe I'll have time to knit some more on my newest blanket and read a few more chapters in the book I'm almost finished reading.  I love to take a book into the bath with me.

Embryo Count

While I was out at class today my doctor called me.  I knew he would even if it was to return my phone call from this morning.

I gained 3.8 pounds from yesterday's procedure.  Um, yeah that much.  I'm not supposed to gain that much either.  But of course my doctor knows nothing about that because that is not why he was calling me.

Dr. C. called to tell me that only one egg got fertilized.  Just one.  Now all our hopes rest on this particular embryo.  Dr. C. sounded really hopeful that we will be making a transfer soon.  I too have hope.

I realize that one embryo isn't a lot.  Its only one and our odds aren't all that great but it is still a chance.

I called my parents to tell them that they are grandparents to an embryo and my mom was so excited to hear that we made it this far.  I've been keeping her updated weekly on our progress.  J's parents haven't been kept all that much in the loop.  If we make it to a positive pregnancy test on 3 November we'll tell them then.

I've already promised my parents that I'd email them a copy of the embryo photo.  Mom told me to put it on my wall.  No, I'm going to put it in my file of receipts, hospital bracelets, and test results all for infertility.  Eventually they will go into a baby book if we make it that far.

Our child will know that we did everything possible to give him or her life.  We want our baby.

I'm now waiting to hear how my blog friend Alex is doing today.  She had her retrieval today at the same place I had mine.  I'm hoping for good news for her as she deserves some happiness in the baby making department.

In the meantime I'm baking cookies under the influence of Vicodin.  LOL.  Its okay they are tasty and no I'm not going to put any of my pills in the cookies...no way am I sharing my pain pills!  This week the cookies for the soldiers at the COF are chewy chocolate peanut butter chip and they are being made a day late.  I was in no condition to make cookies yesterday.

Bruised In More Ways Than One

I'm bruised.  Not just on my arm but its a starting point. 

Yesterday I had my Estradiol level drawn and the guy wasn't all that gentle.  Not only did he bruise me but he left a spider web of blown veins resulting in pretty purple lines on my arm.  I'm none too happy about it either.

My levels aren't what I was hoping for either.  My ego is now bruised.  I was hoping that even at my advanced age of 42 I would some how beat the odds.  No such luck.  My Day 3 Estradiol level was 82.  Anything above 80 means that my egg store is depleting.  Looks like this might just be my last try for a baby. 

I was hoping for another try next year, head in the clouds, after delivering a healthy baby next summer.  I can dream.  I can stay positive.

This is a 2 x 2 inch round bruise from one Lupron shot on my abdomen.  The other red dots are from other shots for this IVF cycle.

Funny how no one told me to expect bruising from the smallest needle.  Its a bloody insulin needle!  I would have thought that perhaps the needle from the Menopur would bruise me but no, the Lupron shot got me.

Luckily enough neither of the two bruises hurt.  The Menopur does sting when its injected but for me I'm able to tolerate it well enough.  Maybe all my fat helps?

Different subject here.  The cookies I made yesterday are the Oatmeal Scotchies recipe on the back of the Toll House morsels bag just substitute the butterscotch chips for the same amount of milk chocolate chips.  The soldiers at the COF love them or so I was told at lunch time by my husband.

Tonight I'm going to make No Chop Pastistio for dinner.  This means I need to get my duff off my computer chair and get started on making it pronto!  Its a delightful dish but there is a lot of messy prep work for that particular dish.

IVF Frustrations

Its been one of those kind of days and its only half over.  I didn't get to sleep last night because I let a phone call annoy me.

Stress is my enemy right now.  I don't like getting a phone call from one of my husband's co-workers especially when he berates me.  What did I do?  Well I guess I'm such a tight-wad that I won't let my husband have a new cell phone.  I explained to the man on the phone that I have no control over my husband and that he chooses to use his old trac fone because he likes it.

J has told me more than once he doesn't want a new phone because he doesn't want a leash on him.  He fears that like the rest of his co-workers he'll become addicted to the apps on the phone and not want to do anything else all day long but be a slave to it.

So I get chewed out.

Oh and get this, I have my husband explain to the neanderthal that I don't like being shouted at on the home phone and told I'm cheap.  The guy denied he ever said that and that he was just joking.  I heard no laughter in his voice.  GRRRR.

So I had a sleepless night, an argument with my spouse about how his job is leaking stress into our home life, and the fact that J screwed up a shot last night.  I swear he dumped a quarter of the menopur out of the needle.  I had to take the syringe from him and administer the shot myself.  So last night I gave myself two of the three shots.

I'm so frustrated.  I want to cry, scream, and in general have a tantrum like a 2 year old with these hormones.  Oh, but I'm not allowed to because of the stress level.

So after one hour sleep today I had my estridol level drawn.  I just hope my numbers aren't too screwed up.

I've been throwing my stress into my home projects.  Yesterday I finished the reupholstering of my computer chair seat.  As you can see from the photo it turned out well.  I even added another layer of padding and I have to say to myself, "nice job".

I even had time to strip the majority of the old finish off of the dining room table yesterday.  I added a thin layer of spray wax to hold it for a while until I get the time to strip more of it all.  Naked wood means wood can warp and I'd rather my dining room table not warp.

Today's project is just cookies.  I'm in the midst, yes while typing this, of baking chocolate chip oatmeal cookies.  Its a first for me and a request from one of my husband's co-workers.  No not the bum that called me and upset me.

I'll let you know if the cookies turn out good enough to post the recipe and a photo of cookies tomorrow.

White and Milk Chocolate Chip Macadamia Nut Cookies

Its that time again.  Time to make cookies for the soldiers at the COF.  This week I created my own recipe for cookies.  I had a special request from one of the soldiers to make white and milk chocolate chip cookies with macadamia nuts in them.  I have to say they are mighty tasty too and I'm enjoying my second cookie now.  Not to worry this recipe made just under 6 dozen cookies so there are plenty to go around even with me enjoying two of the cookies.

Here is my recipe:

White & Milk Chocolate Chip Macadamia Nut Cookies

2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
1 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. finely ground Celtic Sea Salt
1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, softened
3/4 cup granulated sugar
3/4 cup golden Imperial brown sugar firmly packed
1 tsp. pure vanilla extract ( I make my own vanilla extract)
2 large eggs
1 cup Nestle Toll House milk chocolate chips
1 cup Nestle Toll House white chocolate chips
1 cup chopped Diamond brand Macadamia nuts

Preheat oven to 375 degrees F.

Combine: flour, baking soda and salt in a small bowl.  Beat butter, granulated sugar, brown sugar and vanilla extract in a large mixing bowl (I use my stand mixer) until creamy.  Add eggs, one at a time.  Gradually add flour mixture.  Finally add in the chips and nuts and finish mixing the batter.  Drop by rounded teaspoon onto an ungreased cookie sheet.

Bake for 9 minutes.  The cookies will spread out to the point of almost touching at times.  Let cool for about 2 minutes on the pan before transferring to a wire cooling rack.

Makes about 5 to 6 dozen cookies depending on the size of the dough pieces you put on the cookie sheet. 

If you like your cookies large of course you'll have less of them, its a no brainer.  The soldiers at the COF like them a bit smaller so I usually get about 5.5 dozen cookies from a batch.

Wednesday Woes

Well its Wednesday and I've got news to share.  I thought about making a post about my weight but decided that its well, not worthy of an entire blog post.  I did lose some weight this week.  I had gained quite a bit last week from all the eating out my spouse and I had done.  For the month I've lost a grand total of 2.8 pounds.  Its not much and its still far from what I wanted but its still in the right direction.

My hope of the Lupron injections calming down my endometriosis pain and bleeding came to a hault last night.  The pain started up before the shot and never went away after the shot.  No, the pain got worse and the bleeding started again.  Thankfully it has once again subsided.  I've kicked J to the living room on most nights now because I've become such a restless sleeper with the nightmares.  The pain also causes the restless sleep.  I'd love to have him sleep next to me but right now its just too difficult for even me to get to sleep.

I gave myself the injection last night.  I had it all prepped for J with the areas swabbed that needed to be swabbed.  He almost dropped the uncapped needle.  I then took it away from him and said I'll give myself the shot.  His hands were a bit shaky.  Maybe its because he had gotten his flu mist, anthrax vaccine and another shot yesterday.

Yes, I said Anthrax.  Its all part of him getting ready to deploy.  I'm still hopeful that someone will let him stay behind but I have my doubts.  Today he is drawing his gear for the deployment.

Because he is going to be getting equipped we canceled our marriage counseling session that was scheduled for today.  Counseling helps with the infertility issues we are facing.  As I see more doctors, and J falls asleep during the appointments, he feels like he isn't getting enough attention.  Its true, the focus has switched to my health and finding ways to improve it before we get pregnant.  I'd rather not have this particular attention.  I'm starting to feel rather used.  I feel emotions that I'm having troubles keeping to myself, thank you hormones.

Yesterday I had an appointment with my PCM, Dr. G., to renew two scripts.   Dr. G. listened to my heart and lungs and noted my murmur was audible.  Yes, I know I have a murmur.  I know it could cause more issues in pregnancy and I'll deal with that when it happens.   I did walk part of the  way to my appointment and J picked me up and drove me the rest of the way.  He was doing his pre-deployment stuff at something called SRP and with one vehicle I've learned that I can't depend upon him to be there to give me a lift.  Even though I'm not supposed to be walking far because of my back and ankle problems I find it one of the best modes of transportation.  So I walked the 2 miles back home, in pain, but I did it no less.  He had to get back to SRP and couldn't be there to chauffeur me around.

Now I'm off to go bake cookies for the soldiers at the COF.  Every other week I bake one particular type of cookie that is highly requested and this is the week that it gets baked. So today its Chewy Chocolate Peanut Butter Chip Cookies!

Starting Over

Today was my first counseling session with my new psychologist.  I did an intake appointment last week Friday with a psychologist but she wasn't the one I'd be seeing today.  No, she was just the one who determined the professional I'd be a best fit for.

I figured because of all the abuse I had received in my childhood I'd best go see a counselor again.  Its been a few years since I've done a tune up on my DBT skills.

The IVF cycle is already gnawing away at my patience.  I start the injections in just a few days.  I'm not sure how its going to affect my moods as the birth control already gives me migraines.  So with that said I made the appointment, went to it and to the follow up.  I'm now signed up for the 6 week refresher course on my DBT skills.  As long as I remember to daily work on my skills I should be able to get through the remainder of this IVF cycle without too many tantrums.

DBT is Dialectical Behavior Therapy.  Which really is just a set of techniques used for coping with situations.  Say I want something but I don't think I deserve the item.  I need to take a few minutes to rationalize just why I don't think I deserve the said item.  If I don't deserve the item for reasons such as: its way out of my price range, I've already bought myself a reward or someone needs something more with the money I'd spend on the said item I have to think about it more.  Do I really want it?  Why do I think I don't deserve to treat myself to the item?  Am I putting too many others above my own self and am I devaluing my own self worth by doing so?

More examples would be how I manage my anger.  I have a temper.  There I've said it.  But who am I hurting by letting my temper rule?  Me or others or both?  I could have a temper tantrum without regard to who I hurt but, it would be better and more productive to think more rationally with explaining why I'm angry.  Its not easy though, we all know that.  It is easy though to just let the shit fly.

It does go deeper than just the two examples.  I've pulled out my notebook from my last workshop on the subject.  It goes back almost 10 years.  Just one more reason why I need to refresh my skills.

Well enough about this.  I'm hungry and tired and I need to get those cookies baked.  After all it is Wednesday and I always like to have baked goods to give to the soldiers my husband works with for their Thursday treat.  Three hours sleep means I'd best get them baked so I can take a nap too.  I can shovel food into my mouth and do my baking too.  I'm particularly good at that multitasking exercise.

Good Gravy I'm Known For My Food

Most of you know by now that I'm called the "cookie lady" at my husband's work place because each week that he is there I bake a batch of about 5 dozen cookies for soldiers.  But did you know that I'm now stopped in the commissary and asked for my recipes for gravy?

I have no problem sharing my recipes, including the uber secret family ones.  I have no children to pass them on to and I want the world to enjoy food as much as I enjoy making and eating it myself.

I was a little surprised to be asked by one of my husband's co workers, when we saw him at the commissary, for my gravy recipe.  The reason I was surprised was that this soldier had never eaten at my house.  Must be my husband has been bragging about my food.  Okay so my head swelled.  I asked him what one in particular he was looking for and he said a white sauce.

White sauce is so easy to make and is a basic staple for the beginnings of many a delicious dish including a cheese sauce it could very easily be turned into.

All you need to start with is:
3 TBSP of butter that you slowly melt in a sauce pan on low
3 TBSP of flour that you added into the melted butter forming a paste
1-1 1/2 cups of milk that is added to the flour butter paste

Add salt and pepper to taste as you low boil and continously stir the sauce until thickened which should take less than 5 minutes, more likely 3.

For the cheese sauce, add in 1/2 to 3/4 cup of your favorite grated cheese.  But just make sure you watch how fast the sauce cooks and continue to stir or else it will burn!

My husband isn't a big pork eater but now that I've made for him two pork dishes he's changed his mind.  I would usually make him a beef dinner but I'm not able to easily digest beef without repercussions.

I pan seared pork chops, added in sugar, salt and water, let it all boil down until it formed a gravy and voila' I've got yummy pork chops and a gravy to serve over my home made garlic mashed red skin potatoes.

I've even convinced him that a pork roast made with an Island sauce is to be enjoyed.  My own sauce creation of course.

The other night I had him eating the wild mushrooms from the chicken barley soup.  He never liked mushrooms before.  He was used to those grey rubber eraser type canned mushrooms that his mom cooked with, well so did mine.  No wonder he hated mushrooms.

So yes, I'm a bit vain about my cooking.  I just can't understand why more folks don't cook from home.  Recipes are easy to follow with the internet being so handy so that one can look up the unfamiliar cooking terms to make sure its done right.  Eating at home is so much less expensive than eating out and if you eat at the table with family it can help form bonds.  Just shut off the television, put cell phones on vibrate, and make the hand held video games banned from the table.  Good food should be enjoyed without distractions.

DONSA

I'm happy to say that Monday is a DONSA for my husband.  DONSA means a day of no scheduled activity.

This weekend I'll be thinking a lot about the friend I lost in 9/11.  I'll be thinking that I'm grateful that my family escaped the fate that many did not.  I'll be praying that no terrorist decides to take revenge on us for offing two of their leaders in such a short period of time.  Remember Osama bin Laden was taken out and a few weeks ago we took out the next on the food chain  too.

Personally I think that religion is a choice and one that shouldn't lead to violence.  I could go on for paragraphs here about my feeling on that particular subject but I won't.  I will say that I feel bad for the families of our citizens that have yet to gain closure.

On an intimate fertility note the endo pain started increasing again over the past few days, and cramping got worse last night and today its not any better.  I have to say that Endometriosis just sucks!  I was warned that even though I'm on hormones for suppression this could happen and to expect it.  Not much can be done about it.  The IVF cycle is full of different hormones and this is not going to be a joy ride on my reproductive organs.

So with the Endo pain I'm not sure just how much I'll be enjoying this weekend with my spouse.  We had made plans to escape town and head out a few hours north but I think that most likely we'll just be staying put unless the pain subsides enough.

I finally got around to making the cookies for the soldiers at the COF yesterday.  Tuesday and Wednesday were filled up so that I didn't even get the me time I had hoped for.  Finally yesterday I had a little break in my chores to get cookies made so I made the Oatmeal Scotchies.  Hopefully they like them.

Tuesday Monday

Hello Monday, err I mean Tuesday.  I'm all messed up after very few hours sleep, thank you cyst pain, and the four day weekend.  Now I just need to get the energy up to finish my tasks at hand.

Because its a Tuesday I would normally be finished with the bills by now but its my Monday and the banks were closed yesterday.  So today I still need to go over the bills for the week and see what's going on with  the financial institutions that we use.

I've got laundry to do.  I did one load yesterday, two on Sunday and I've still got the whites left for today.  I've got vacuuming to do that didn't get fully finished on Sunday.  Then of course there is the dinner I'm going to make.  Tonight's menu is a casserole, one of my favorites called No Chop Pastitsio.  I love that dish but it takes about 1.5 hours between prepping and baking to create and makes a mess of the kitchen.  Later tonight, due to two appointments tomorrow, I need to bake the cookies I make each week for the soldiers my husband works with.  Luckily they are a soft, chewy cookie I'm making and will keep well even if I don't make them the night before I deliver them to the office.  One extra day won't make a hill of beans in difference in this particular recipe I chose for this week's cookie.

Sometime today I need to fit some me time in so that I can fix my ragged cuticles.  I now have hang nails from doing too much water work with my hands.  Now if only I could learn to do the dishes with my feet I'd be all set.

I'd like to slip in some time to read this afternoon but I'm not sure just when that will happen if it does at all.  I'm kind of using up most of my me time this morning with the updating of my security software and doing this blog post.  Oh well, we all have sacrifices we must make and mine are really minor when compared to the rest of the world.

So its off I go to the salt mine, err I mean Kitchen and laundry room, to finish up my morning work before lunch time hits and my husband comes home for lunch.

Hope everyone has a good day.

Occupational Therapy Update and Blog Award

First I'll get to the award.  My cousin  gave me the award yesterday along with also giving it to a few other people.  I first met my cousin not at a family occasion or gathering, but in high school.  For more years than I care to remember we've been apart as is most of my family until Facebook brought us together.  Now I'm learning all about Nik's life through her two blogs, suddenly single journey and what dreamers do.

I'm supposed to divulge some little secret about myself here because of this award however, I rarely keep much of my life a secret.  Those that follow my blog know I'm handicapped, infertile, an Army Wife, love to cook, sew and do other crafts when I'm not reading.  So what is left to tell?  And what do I feel comfortable revealing right now that I have been hiding?

I guess I could tell all you that I enjoy yelling at the television when a stupid reality show is on.  Why do I yell at something that is pre-recorded?  Well why do most men like to yell at the television when their favorite team is playing?  I guess because it just feels good.  There you have my confession.

I would like to pass along this award to four women that have made changes in my life via the internet.  First I'm giving this award to Stefanie who's real life and online friendship has meant the most to me.  Stef I love you gal.  Secondly I'd give this award to a gal that refuses to allow her fibromyalgia to get in the way of life, Sonja you are my hero.  Third I'd like to give this award to a gal that will tell you like it is, Sushi girl I only know by that name but you make life real.  And Last this award goes out to a gal that is having a really rough time with her pregnancy.  Another Dreamer you give me hope because you refuse to give up.

Now for my Occupational Therapy appointment this morning.  I was told I  have hypermobile joints.  No change was seen in the strength of my hands.  I have one new hand exercise to add to my routine because I have a pocket injury on my right hand.  Its just a muscle that got overused due to me using my cane this weekend.  The doctor told me its not likely to get much better as long as I need to use the cane and he said he doesn't want to go without my cane especially when my knee buckles.  So its not likely the pain in my right shoulder will ever go away for long periods of time.  Meh, such is life.  I go on. 


Time to go bake the cookies for the guys at the COF. 

Goody Goody Gum Drop Cookies

Today I'm baking Gum Drop Cookies for the soldiers at the COF.  I really hope they like them.  So far the batter is mighty tasty so I have hope that the cookies will be equally tasty.

Last week when Animal Control was here he was telling me how his Ma would make 30 dozen cookies a day.  Wow, 30 dozen cookies daily.  Rather daunting.  But I guess she had her own bakery or boarding house or just was really bored and baked for everyone in the neighborhood.  The guy told me his favorite cookies were his Ma's gum drop cookies.  He said they were made using a basic chocolate chip cookie dough batter but substituting gum drops for the chocolate chips. 

I did a bit of research on line and found two gum drop cookie recipes that were quite close to that particular description, then I made my own recipe.  The above photo is the batter just before refrigeration.  With any luck the soldiers at the COF will enjoy them as much as the chocolate peanut butter chip cookies that they so adore.  Maybe next week I'll make those for them again.

Here is my recipe for the Gum Drop Cookies:

1 cup butter softened
2 cups firmly packed light brown sugar
2 whole large eggs
1 tsp. vanilla ( I make my own vanilla using several whole vanilla beans and about 500 ml of vodka which then has to cure for at least two weeks before using)
1 tsp Celtic Sea Salt (Salina Naturally brand)
3 1/2 cups All Purpose flour
1 tsp baking soda
2 cups chopped fruit slices (aka gum drops)

Cream the butter together with the brown sugar.  Add in the vanilla and the eggs.  Sift together the flour, baking soda, and salt in a separate bowl.  Slowly add the flour mixture to the creamed ingredients.  Note: this is much easier using a stand mixer than a hand mixer.  Finally add in the chopped gum drops on a low speed or by hand.

Chill for one hour in the refrigerator.

Pre heat oven to 400 degrees Fahrenheit.

Drop by rounded teaspoon onto a  well greased cookie sheet.  Bake 10-12 minutes at 400 degrees Fahrenheit. 

Makes 5 dozen cookies.

Baking Day Again

Its that time of the week again where I bake cookies for the soldiers.  Today I'm going to make the Reese's Chewy Chocolate cookies made with the peanut butter chips.  The soldiers at the COF love these cookies.

Today I also plan on making J a pizza from scratch.  Last week I made up the dough for two pizzas and froze one ball along with the sauce I made.  So right now its sitting there waiting for his phone call stating that he is ready for dinner.  He really loves his pepperoni, red pepper and onion topping pizza and I can't wait to make it for him. 

Tomorrow I should have plenty of time to make the lasagna I've been promising to make for him.  I found a perfect recipe in one of my cook books and I can't wait to try it out on him. 

After a rotten day like yesterday I'm really looking forward to a few days of major baking and cooking.  Yesterday I realized that I need to let this respite care worker go.  I can't continue to employe this person when I don't get the work done that needs to be done.   My respite care worker has been sewing for years and some claim that her stuff is quite good, I now have to disagree.  Anyone can operate an embroidery machine but it takes true talent to embroider by hand.

I only needed the dress fitted to me yesterday.  As  I put it on and she pulls it in place to make sure its where I want it and never pinned the dressed only eyed it with her thumbs for judgement.  Wow did that go wrong.  Basically she butchered my dress.  She cut off the fabric and sewed it up without having me try it on in-between the sewing and cutting.  I got to try it on after the damage, then she would try to fix it again, four fittings later I gave up.  She had cut way too much out the first time and ruined the dress.  If only she would have listened to me and pinned it the first time around then basted, but what do I know?!.  I know full well she shouldn't have thumbed it but should have pinned it and basted it before the final cutting and sewing.  I've been sewing since I was 4 years old.  My mom has quite a bit of pride in my fine stitching as do I.  She claims that my sewing is even better than her's.  Makes my head swell a bit.

So when the dress was finished the respite care worker had cut the right arm hole one inch smaller than the left and there was nothing remaining to let out.  The left arm is bunched at the top now.  She actually told me to take an iron to it.  Um, NO!  An iron would melt the polyester organza material.  The front of the dress where the jewels are set into the empire waist are now pulled to the right.  I screamed after she left.  My cousin, L, was very understanding when I was chatting with her on the phone.  She said that I should have the person pay for the damages done to the gown.  Its very ill-fitting now. 

I think the hard part of this whole experience is that I thought I could trust this person to do her job that she gets paid $20 an hour to do.  But now I know better.  She was on the phone while sewing and I think that is part of the problem.  Seriously if you are getting paid to do a job and it means using your hands and full concentration why should you be on the cell phone?

My husband has a leather jacket at her house right now that he said he wants to get it back before she ruins it.  She has had it since Easter and said she would fix the zipper in it for him.  We will find another person that can work with leather.  We have a nice shop in town that fixes just that sort of stuff.  Funny I could get the jacket zipped up just fine without the zipper going off track.  If need be I'll pick it apart reset the zipper and sew it back up with my leather needles.

I thought a respite care worker was supposed to take care of me and not demand that I make her tea.  According to the rules I'm not supposed to be waiting on her, she is supposed to be doing the tasks set forth for her.  I give up.  This respite care program here has been a big failure.

Today is going to be a much needed baking day.  I can throw myself into my work and be quite happy with the results.  No one is around to bother me while I'm baking either.  I have the house to myself for the next few hours and I plan on getting stuff done.


Here is the recipe for the cookies:

Chewy Chocolate Cookies

Skill Level:

Beginner

Prep Time:

20 Minutes

Nutrition Info

Ingredients

• 2 cups all-purpose flour
• 3/4 cup HERSHEY'S Cocoa
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1-1/4 cups (2-1/2 sticks) butter or margarine, softened
• 2 cups sugar
• 2 eggs
• 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
• 1-2/3 cups (10-oz. pkg.) REESE'S Peanut Butter Chips

Directions

1. 1 Heat oven to 350°F. Stir together flour, cocoa, baking soda and salt; set aside.
   
2. 2 Beat butter and sugar in large bowl with mixer until fluffy. Add eggs and vanilla; beat well. Gradually add flour mixture, beating well. Stir in peanut butter chips. Drop by rounded teaspoons onto ungreased cookie sheet.
   
3. 3 Bake 8 to 9 minutes. (Do not overbake; cookies will be soft. They will puff while baking and flatten while cooling.) Cool slightly; remove from cookie sheet to wire rack. Cool completely. About 4-1/2 dozen cookies.
   
   PAN RECIPE: Spread batter in greased 15-1/2x10-1/2x1-inch jelly-roll pan. Bake at 350°F 20 minutes or until set. Cool completely in pan on wire rack; cut into bars. About 4 dozen bars.
   
   ICE CREAM SANDWICHES: Prepare CHEWY CHOCOLATE COOKIES as directed; cool. Press small scoop of vanilla ice cream between flat sides of cookies. Wrap and freeze.
   
   HIGH ALTITUDE DIRECTIONS:
   -- Increase flour to 2 cups plus 2 tablespoons.
   -- Decrease baking soda to 3/4 teaspoon.
   -- Decrease sugar to 1-2/3 cups.
   -- Add 2 teaspoons water with flour mixture.
   -- Bake at 350°F, 7 to 8 minutes. Yield increases to about 6 dozen.