Friday, March 30, 2012
And The Nightmares Continue
Last night I had two nightmares. The first one woke me up and if I wasn't screaming in real life I know I was in my dream. In my dream I was pregnant with twins, I've been pregnant with twins in real life too, and my family and friends were throwing me a shower. I'm not the party type and usually don't like to be the center of attention. All of a sudden my friends were gone. I was left with my mom, dad and brother. My mom and my brother were destroying everything in sight while my dad was holding me back from stopping them. They were yelling at me and telling me that I didn't deserve to have a child. My pregnant belly started to shrink like a balloon that had just been unknotted. Of course that made me scream.
Second nightmare was that I was trying to adopt an older child. Maybe the sandy haired kid was about the age of 7 or 8. He was into everything that J and I both liked and then some. The kid was a perfect match for us. Of course the adoption fell through and we were devastated.
I haven't told J about either of the dreams. He knows that I have issues with my own family from all the abuse. Luckily I did have a session scheduled for this morning with my psychologist. I told her everything. Its really understandable for me to have these dreams from what she said. It just doesn't make it any easier knowing that I have them and will probably continue to have them for a while to come.
I hate when my fears become nightmares.
How do you, my followers, cope?