Tuesday, March 27, 2012

A Reminder Of Who I Am

I am an infertile.  I got my face slapped today by the results of the home pregnancy test.  It was of course a BFN.  Yes, this past week I did have two tests that had two lines.  Call it a chemical pregnancy if you will, call it evaporation lines.  I will have to re-evaluate my options once again.  Maybe I will seek out adoption.  Maybe I will still do donor eggs.

I am an Army Wife.  I know that when it all comes to a head I have a responsibility to my spouse and country.  I will try hard to not bring him shame that could affect his career adversely.

I am handicapped.  I will try my best each day to get my lazy handicapped butt out of bed.  Others tell me to rest and not try so hard.  If I didn't try I wouldn't accomplish any of my goals.  Its to easy to just quit.  I refuse to give up until all possibilities are exhausted.

While reading yesterday I came across a short story that I thought I'd share with my followers.  The author is unknown.

The Military Wife

     The good Lord was creating a model for military wives and was into his sixth day of overtime when an angel appeared.  She said, "Lord, you seem to be having a lot of trouble with this one.  What's wrong with the standard model?"
     The Lord replied, "Have you seen the specs on this order?  She has to be completely independent, possess the qualities of both father and mother, be a perfect hostess to four or 40 with an hour's notice, run on black coffee, handle every emergency imaginable without a manual, be able to carry on cheerfully, even if she is pregnant and has the flu, and she must be willing to move to a new location 10 times in 17 years.  And oh, yes, she must have six pairs of hands."
     The angel shoook her head.  "Six pairs of hands?  No way."
     The Lord continued, "Don't worry, we will make other military wives to help her.  And we will give her an unusually strong heart so it can swell with pride in her husband's achievements, sustain the pain of separations, beat soundly when it is overworked and tired and be large enough to say, 'I understand,' when she doesn't and say, ' I love you,' regardless."
     "Lord," said the angel, touching his arm gently, "go to bed and get some rest.  You can finish this tomorrow."
     "I can't stop now," said the Lord.  "I am so close to creating something unique.  Already this model heals herself when she is sick, can put up six unexpected guests for the weekend, wave good-bye to her husband from a pier, a runway or a depot, and understand why it's important that he leave."
     Finally, the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek of the Lord's creation.  "There is a leak," she announced.  "Something is wrong with the construction.  I am not surprised that it has cracked.  You are trying to put too much into this model."
     The Lord appeared offended at the angel's lack of confidence.  "What you see is not a leak," he said.  "It's a tear."
     "A tear?  What is it there for?" asked the angel.
     The Lord replied, "It's for joy, sadness, pain, disappointment, loneliness, pride and a dedication to all the values that she and her husband hold dear."
     "You are a genius!" exclaimed the angel.
     The Lord looked puzzled and replied, "I didn't put it there."

~Author Unknown


  1. First off, I'm so very sorry for this news, Rebecca. Damnit!! I was so hopeful for you that this was finally it. (Shaking fist at heaven).

    Secondly, thank you for sharing this story. Military wives are indeed a unique breed of women. Strong, independent, selfless and fierce.

    Thinking of you today and sending you love.

    1. I will persevere. I'm not going to stop trying until they tell me no more.

  2. I'm sorry about the negative. That is a nice short story.

    1. I always have another chance as long as I have him around.

  3. Thinking of you ((hugs)) I'm sorry :|

  4. So sorry about your BFN...thinking of you!

  5. *big sigh*... I'm sorry hon. I know how much you wanted this right now. The good thing is you still have options. They may not be what you envisioned, but I am hopeful that you will find your way.


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